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just met a three month old pomeranian named horchata. her paw was the size of my fingertip. she looked like half a dandelion fluff

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(opening the author’s works page after finishing a fic) and if im lucky they’ll have written this exact same fic but different a bunch more times

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So-called "free thinkers" when their friend has to pee

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can we please bring back the hannibal fandom. i miss seeing lists of reasons why hannigram was toxic and the fact that one of the involved parties ate other people never made the top five 

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"I asked ChatGPT--"

Yeah well, I asked the wasps nest in my attic. It sang its answer so beautifully to me, but I am so very afraid of it. Perhaps it will soothe my itching soul...

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ok funs over back to business

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Some of you guys have never burned a CD and it shows

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gagging you with our red string of fate to shut you up for one fucking second

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this current run of elvis-themed gimmick blogs seem to have gotten elvis confused for johnny bravo

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i don’t care for monday’s strife

tuesday wednesday penis knife

thursday best friend fucked my wife

it’s friday i’ve been cucked

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i am as white as a white american can get and the thought of using the white color emojis sickens me to the bone. bitch if you dont make me simpsons yellow

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guy who has chronic pain and fatigue: man why can't i do more stuff

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Today in niche genres of joke that I can never get enough of and will probably still be secretly thinking about four years later