famwee

[famwee]

What was it - this implacable remoteness, this inability to surrender herself to the warmth and comradely feelings of others? Could being an academic star, being applauded over and over again as a prodigy, take the place of all that? She shuddered with a feeling she couldn't have put a name to. It was the congenital human fear of isolation.

[famwee]

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＞ HUG PROMPTS  /  ACCEPTING .

[famwee]

❛    CRNAGED    /    𝚝𝚑𝚎  𝚍𝚎𝚟𝚒𝚕  𝚘𝚗  𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛  𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚎𝚛 .

𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐎𝐃     𝐇𝐄𝐑     𝐒𝐘𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐌𝐒     𝐀𝐍𝐃     𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐀𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒     𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇     𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐊𝐋𝐄𝐒𝐒     𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐓     𝐎𝐅     𝐀𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃𝐎𝐍,       the     kind     only     a     creature     of     his     ilk     could     embody.     the     shock     to     the     systems     couldn’t     be     anything     easy     to     withstand,     but     it     was     of     no     consequence     of     his     own.     grey     matter     poured     over     graciously     in     a     millisecond     if     only     out     of     curiosity     alone,     a     bond     forged     through     a     visage     of     spite     and     scorn.     and     the     more     she     loathed     him     the     further     he     sank     upon     her,     like     ink     seeps     through     the     gentle     curves     of     prints     upon     another.     a     loving     cascade     of     devotion     in     song     :       𝙸’𝚟𝚎     𝚐𝚘𝚝     𝚢𝚘𝚞     𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛     𝚖𝚢     𝚜𝚔𝚒𝚗.       —     warped     in     fashion     for     his     own     means.     yes,     certain,     she     had     him     under     her     skin,     and     he     liked     being     there     if     not     for     the     struggle     and     disdain     alone     he     could     sense     coursing     through     her.     cortisol,     pure     terror     in     the     face     of     something     so     completely       𝖆𝖑𝖎𝖊𝖓.     —    

     it  all  seems  such  luxury  now,  the  self :  the  privacy  of  simply  being.   to  share  it  —  willingly  or  otherwise  —  had  always  seemed  such  a  fantastical  thing,  reserved  for  storytelling  and  hypotheticals.   amusing  what  ifs,  flung  around  with  little  consideration  of  its  realization.   it  was  fun  at  the  time,  innocent  debate  without  danger.   now ?   not  so  fun.   not  with  this  one.   ( but  what  were  the  chances  of  benevolent  aliens,  anyway ?   hell,  even  common  make — believe  would  have  them  as  naught  but  violent  enemies. )

      denial  grows  ever  more  tempting,  a  holy  beacon  of  comfort  amidst  the  depths  of  tartarus.  and  when  a  voice  —  audible,  different,  REAL  —  echoes  from  within,  a  part  of  her  already  knew.   who  and  what,  how  and  where.   a  miniscule  part,  one  she  knows  not  whom  it  truly  belongs  to.   knowledge  shared ?   curiosity  unwelcome,  yet  so  ingrained.  as  hands — on  as  this  engineer  prefers  to  be, observation  surely  seemed  preferable.   perhaps  if  she  had  stayed  at  the  facility  longer  —  if  she  had  bothered  to  look  into  the  eddie  brook  disaster.   ( how  do  you  even  ask  such  a  thing ?  hello  sir,  can  I  ask  you  some  things  about  the  alien  inside  you ? )

little  bird  knows  of  only  one  person  who  could  possibly  have  answers  —  one  person  who  knows  what  this  is  like.  and  yet  she  thinks  it  would  be  unfair  to  pull  him  back  into  it  —  if  he  indeed  got  out.  let  this  be  her  own  problem  to  manage.

      so  disconnected  from  haunting  voice  inside  own  head,  still  does  pulse  spike  and  instincts  flare.  little  doe  indeed,  every  inch  screams  for  her  to  run  —  but  where  to ?   they  say  you  cannot  run  from  yourself,  and  oh  how  she  loathes  the  phrase.   and  if  running  is  not  an  option, let  it  be  met  with  insolence  instead, ever  defensive.

[famwee]

hi mars i love u !! 

[famwee]

hi kasz ure great 🌞