farrahfields

[farrahfields]

with valentina flores @  golden hour beach club, saturday evening.

farrah meticulously fixes her makeup and adjusts her hair in the well-lit mirror of the beach club’s washroom. the vibrant atmosphere outside buzzes with excitement, but she's taken a moment for herself. when she first arrived at the beach club, she had been inundated with enthusiastic fans clamouring for photographs and autographs. it took a solid thirty to thirty-five minutes before she was finally able to slip away to the sanctuary of the washroom, where she could find a moment of peace amidst the chaos. inside, farrah takes a deep breath as she stands before the mirror. she smooths out her tousled hair, ensuring that each strand falls just right. she then adjusts her eye-catching costume, a blend of colours and fabrics that reflects her playful personality and stylish flair. to complete her look, she spritzes a light dose of chanel perfume onto her skin, the familiar scent providing a comforting aura.

as she continues to make adjustments, her gaze catches a figure in all black standing at the edge of her reflection. farrah narrows her eyes, trying to determine if this woman is indeed who she thinks she is. flipping through her sharp memory and mental rolodex of familiar faces, a spark of recognition ignites in her mind. ❛ valentina, right? valentina flores? ❜ she exclaims, her tone a mixture of surprise and questioning. ❛ you had a yoga channel years ago, didn’t you? ❜ memories flood back to her from a time before her own rise to stardom, when valentina’s yoga channel had caught her trainer’s eye. back then, farrah was still an aspiring talent, eagerly soaking up everything she could from those who inspired her. valentina's videos had been a massive source of motivation and guidance for both farrah and her trainer, contributing to their dedication to fitness and well-being. in somewhat disbelief, farrah turns her body to the woman and cleans one side of her hip and crosses her arms over her chest. ❛ girl, what the hell are you doing here? ❜

[farrahfields]

Marie Antoinette - Sofia Coppola (2006)

[farrahfields]

with mason collins @  briar ridge rec center @ the family friend haunted house, saturday afternoon.

farrah had always maintained a neutral stance when it came to halloween. she didn’t possess a deep-seated passion for the spooky festivities, nor did she harbour any animosity towards the holiday. in fact, for her, it was simply another day on the calendar, one that came alive with the buzz of excitement and creativity. however, if there was one thing that anyone who truly knew her would understand, it was this: she would never pass up the chance to don a costume and embrace the playful spirit of dressing up. this enthusiasm for costumes and the creativity involved seemed to have been passed down to her daughter, who was just bubbling over with excitement at the prospect of halloween. this year, she had chosen an adorably unique outfit — she was going to dress up as an oreo ice cream sandwich. the little girl could hardly contain her anticipation as she put on the ensemble earlier today.

arriving at the recreation centre for a family-friendly haunted house, an event designed to entertain attendees of all ages, complete with various spooky decorations and activities, farrah watches from from a few feet away as her little one is fearlessly dunking her head into a cauldron filled with water, bobbing for apples with the help of a volunteer. the was until emmy zero'd in on someone in a fluffy blue animal-looking costume. farrah has been getting to understand her daughter well enough over the last few months to understand now when she was going to dart off. there's always a certain look in her eyes, a hard focus. getting ahead of the problem, farrah scoops up emmy from the volunteer before she began wiggling like a dead fish in the strangers arm, dried off her wet hair and picked her up so she wasn't able to take off, but allowed emmy to point her mother through the crowd to get the to character in question.

❛ hey, excuse me! person dressed up as temu bear in the big blue house! ❜ with quick steps, farrah side steps to be able to swing around to face in the furry costume. ' kitty! ' emmy yells out with her small hands up in the air with excitement before farrah has a chance to say anything. ❛ apologies to cut you off like this, but you've got a fan. ❜

[farrahfields]

FARRAH FIELDS AS AISHA FROM WINX CLUB.

[farrahfields]

as farrah leans by the vehicle, her eyes intently examining every detail, she was completely unaware of the sound of crunching gravel underfoot that signified someone was approaching her. her mind was racing, consumed by the intricate puzzle laid out before her — the engine’s strange hum, the disarray of wires, and the lingering scent of burnt rubber. she was preoccupied with trying to make sense of a situation that had clearly spiralled out of her control, and she was determined to unravel it, even if it meant diving into a mess that was far beyond her expertise. this inclination to dive headfirst into challenges, regardless of their complexity, was simply part of who she was.

suddenly, a voice broke through her concentration, startling her nearly to the point of jumping out of her skin. ❛ jesus fucking hell! where did you come from? ❜ the voice was male and emerged from her left, catching her completely off guard as she felt the heat of her own body glisten against the cold metal of the car hood. heart racing, adrenaline flooding her system, she turned to face the unexpected voice. ❛ christ! you are so lucky i didn’t have my bear mace ready, my guy. don’t you know better than to sneak up on a woman when her head is buried inside a car? ❜ she exclaimed, her voice filled with exasperation. the moment demanded a reaction, and she couldn't suppress a huff of frustration as she shook her head, taking a step back to steady herself.

It wasn't hard for someone to dive past seeing a car in distress as Colt had been at the sight of quite a few roadside accidents that solidified his way of thinking. Or the fact that he was sometimes called to tow a car into a shop because no one else was available to help. But this was meant to be his day off, something that he hadn't had in nearly a month between working the double shifts at the station and using up any free time he could back at the shop. Part of him that he wasn't going to be able to last for long like this that there was bound to be a burn out eventually but he continued to put it aside in lieu of making it work.

That way no one was disappointed with him or looking for help when he was standing right there and right now, he was in the spot to make a choice again. One that would give him a free and clear kind of day and another would be to stop and offer a hand when he noticed a car with smoke coming out from under it's hood. As Colt pulled over with his flashers on behind the car, he knew what decision he'd already made as he made a quick text to the shop about needing a tow out there. It wouldn't be quick but it was far better than waiting for any other kind of help as cars continued to fly by them on the other side.

"You need a hand? Or maybe an eye to look under there? I hope you don't mind but I texted for a tow in hopes they'll get here quick." Now he was standing there second guessing if he'd already stepped too far ahead if it wasn't that bad or if they didn't need that much help. "Actually I haven't heard back so if you don't need it, I can call them off," he added sheepishly.

[farrahfields]

farrah gives a neutral hum in response, a sound that neither expresses approval nor disapproval. it’s simply a way to acknowledge that she’s listening to him, that she’s engaged in the conversation. her gaze drifts back down from the other dog owner to the basset hound, which, much like its owner, appears to embody a sense of dumb innocence. the dog’s droopy ears and unfocused gaze evoke an almost comical charm, making it hard for farrah to remain frustrated for long. as the man continues to apologize, she can’t help but notice his sheepish demeanour. her dark eyes flicker back to him, taking in every nuance of his expression. a part of her wants to feel irritated; after all, it’s his responsibility to keep his dog on a leash in public spaces. but another part of her feels a pang of empathy — after all, we all make mistakes.

❛ it’s fine, ❜ farrah finally says, the words gently rolling off her tongue. she brushes back her thick curls, allowing herself to breathe deeply as she releases a soft sigh, consciously working to relax her shoulders. her therapist's advice echoes in her mind: her confrontational temperament often acted as a shield against others, a way to protect herself from the unpredictability of social interactions. ❛ where i’m from, it��s a fine to have your dog off-leash, ❜ she continues, trying to express understanding while still making her point clear. ❛ but i assume, considering we’re now in cowboy country, this is a normal thing. ❜ with a gesture toward the man and his unleashed dog.

Wes blinked, momentarily, admittedly, taken aback by her forwardness. He expected an awkward apology or just laughing it off, but here she was, bold and unapologetic. Her quip about being more interesting than the average person—and not just him—hung in the air, and for a moment, he wasn’t sure how to respond. He looked down at Gus, who seemed blissfully unaware of the tension, wagging his tail and eyeing her dogs with innocent curiosity. Wes felt a chuckle rise in his throat, but it didn’t quite make it out. "Guess you got me there," he mumbled, scratching the back of his neck and glancing at her for a beat before shifting his attention back to his pup. "Gus seems to agree," he added with a small smile, a bit sheepish now, trying to play it cool but feeling the warmth creeping up his neck. "Sorry again, for, uh, crashing your walk." He tightened his grip on the dog’s collar, kind of embarrassed he hadn't brought Gus's lead — though he rarely, if ever, did.

[farrahfields]

farrah fights the growing urge to roll her eyes at alex's teasing, but she can't help the way a dark brow arches sharply and she also she can't help but feel a twinge of regret for allowing him to get to know her well enough to understand which buttons to push. and that annoys the shit out of farrah because that was all on her. ❛ okay, and? if you want a cookie, you're in the right spot to get one. ❜ farrah settles herself more comfortably into her seat, a bit of relief as alex made the decision to abandon the pleasantries and dive straight into it. thank god for that; the last thing she wanted to do was dance around the issue, trading niceties that felt entirely pointless in the current context. she'd much preferred to tackle the core of this mess. after all, there was something undeniably fun about arguing with alex. they're both great at it.

❛ i had an entire child that i didn’t think you needed to meet at all. ❜ she retorts, her tone laced with blunt venom, the words whip out like harsh reality. ❛ i carried her for ten months, i cared for her for another year and loved her every minute of every day. don't make it sound like it was an easy decision. ❜ there was so much more farrah could articulate, an entire torrent of words and feelings bubbling just beneath the surface, eager to escape her lips. however, as she clamped down on her inner cheek with her teeth, the sharp pain served as a reminder to hold her tongue. a part of her was acutely aware that the actions she had taken that flipped alex's life upside down were anything but fair; farrah recognized the unfairness of her decisions and how they had impacted him.

yet, unfortunately, the other side of farrah — her more combative nature — was rising to the occasion. it thrived on conflict, and relished the adrenaline that came from confrontation. this combative spirit seemed to whisper in her ear, encouraging her to defend herself, to push back against any feelings of guilt or regret, and to rationalize her behaviour. ❛ keep that in mind going forward. ❜

By now, Alex had learned that everything with Farrah was about control. And if ever, even on the off chance, it didn't seem that way, it was. It was something he'd kept at the back of his mind. He raised his glass, water, swirling it around for a moment before taking a swig. Her forwardness shouldn't have surprised him after this long, but he couldn't help the sputtering chuckle that left his lips just then.

"Hi Farrah, I'm good, how are you? My day is going fine. I stepped away from the office to be here, how about you?" He knew his nonchalance and avoidance of the topic at hand would irritate her, but if the ball was well and truly in his court, he was certainly going to make the most of it. Alex allowed his eyes to skim the menu before him, but he knew it well enough already; he'd popped by on better circumstances to see Marco. He wished he was sitting down with his friend instead.

He looked up and caught Farrah's disinterested expression while she sipped on her mimosa, released a sigh, and decided to give in.

"I don't understand how you can just.. Y'know what, fine." His laugh was hollow; it sounded more like a sound that needed to be let out than an expression of any sort of joy. "Let's start with the fact that we, apparently, had an entire child you didn't think I needed to meet until she was 18 months old when you conveniently and literally left her on my doorstep."

[farrahfields]

Fumi Kaneko as the Sugar Plum Fairy (Royal Ballet 2022)

[farrahfields]

since the moment their paths crossed amidst the chaos of the hurricane, genesis has consistently demonstrated kindness toward farrah. and it was a simple kindness. nothing overdone. honest. this gesture was particularly significant for farrah, who has spent too much time in the company of individuals whose smiles were warm and friendly, but whose intentions were far from genuine. she had seen the duplicity behind cheerful faces and hollow words, learned from experience that kindness could be a mask for more nefarious feelings. in her attempts to navigate through such treachery, farrah had once tried to adopt a similar strategy — killing people with kindness, as the saying goes. however, she soon found this facade unfulfilling ; it was a game that felt unauthentic and ultimately left her ... let's say dissatisfied. as she settled into the first chair that genesis had pointed out. ❛ a bottle of water is fine. thank you, ❜ she said. it was comforting to know that with genesis, there would be no pretence, only the openness of genuine interaction. ❛ tell me a bit about yourself, gen. ❜ farrah insists as the woman came back with the bottle of water and takes it. ❛ we survived a hurricane together and i don't know a thing about you. doesn't that seem wrong ? ❜

As a hair stylist, Genesis had grown rather used to clients coming and going. She had her regulars, which were comfortable and easy to talk to, but they rarely offered her fresh ideas. It was always the same cut, same colour or tone, and quite frankly; the same ten topics of conversation. Although she was always a little nervous to meet a new client, the stylist was always just as excited to get them into her chair and work her magic on them.

As the brunette entered the salon, Genesis glanced up from her appointment log, a bright smile gracing her lips. "Farrah! I should have known. It's not every day I hear your name. Come on in and make yourself comfortable in the first chair over here. Can I grab you a bottle of water or some coffee? Then we can chat about your hair goals and what you're looking to have done today, since I know it's your first time at the salon."

[farrahfields]

with emmy perched on her hip, pointing determinedly ahead, farrah maneuvers through the aisles of the small grocery store, her steps deliberate yet slightly uncertain, as if she were embarking on this shopping journey for the very first time. in reality, she’s no stranger to the grocery aisles — she’s done this countless times, to many people's surprise — but it has indeed been quite a while since she last shopped alone, without the assistance of a list or bustling assistance in tow. ' not that way, mama ! wrong way ! ' emmy suddenly chirps, her small body wriggling restlessly in farrah’s grasp, eager to break free and assert her independence.

with a gentle sigh, Ffrrah complies, setting her daughter down. in an instant, emmy dashes off like a tiny whirlwind, her laughter echoing through the aisles. farrah can’t help but smile, even as she feels a pang of exasperation — she knows by now that as soon as emmy gets the chance, she’s off on her little adventures, and honestly, farrah doesn't feel like chasing after her anymore. after all, a little sprinting might help tire the energetic toddler out. she keeps her eyes peeled, and not far away, she spots emmy in the drinks aisle. there’s her exuberant daughter, determinedly reaching for a can of coconut water perched on the lowest shelf, her little fingers stretching as she tries to grasp one of the last remaining tall cans. ❛ were you going for this too ? ❜ farrah asks, turning towards a fellow shopper who seems to be eyeing the same elusive item. farrah glances down at emmy, who is now concentrating hard, her little brows furrowed in determination. ❛ it's pretty good stuff, isn't it, ej ? ❜

WHERE: Chapman's Grocer

WHEN: Anytime...!

@farrahfields

"Where the hell is that..." Benny mutters to himself, going through the aisles as he tries to think back on the drink he'd been dying to get his hands on for the past week. He had it in passing thanks to a friend who decided to share it with him, but the delicious flavor of said drink was nagging him every day he went without buying one for himself. The only thing he really remembered was the color of the can, and as Benny moved deeper into one of the aisles, he saw only a few left sitting on a shelf. Excited, Benny makes his way over until he sees some kid come around the corner, going straight for the same drink he had been eyeing.

[farrahfields]

happy

farrah: my daughter has dubbed you as "the tall friend" or something along those lines. she was speaking a lot of gibberish at me and that's really all i got. farrah: she might have actually said "the tree friend" but either way welcome to the big leagues of being a friend to emmy jean!

[farrahfields]

mad

farrah: i'm not mad. i'm HIGHLY FRUSTRATED. thin line but different, okay. farrah: i wasn't even gonna go to that school parent meeting but i thought "you know what? i should attempt to assimilate since i'm child will be going here" i just wanted to check it out, that's all! farrah: and then this knockoff walmart dolly parton steps up to me like I'M the problem???? farrah: what was her name again? shelly adams? abrams? farrah: actually i don't even care what her name is because by the time i'm done with her she'll be nonexistent.

[farrahfields]

drunk!

farrah: girl, when i tell you that my hair is HAIRING. where have you BEEN all my life, huh?? my hair is FULL and SHINY and FLOWING. you might have to do some traveling with me babe because ON GOD i'm about to fire my other hairstyles. farrah: none of em compare to you and that's just crazy. after one treatment?? i mean damn. you've got a god given talent.

[farrahfields]

mad (colt)

farrah: how do you enjoy working with vehicles so much? cars are so dumb. tell me why my car is breaking down again for no reason, huh? why can't it just keep its shit together and do its job! i'm over it. i'm over driving. i'm done. i'm selling it or you can have it for scrapes for your junkyard for whatever. farrah: you think i could supe up a golf cart and use that to get around?

[farrahfields]

tired

farrah: have you ever forced your child to sleep? farrah: i have whiskey and i have a heavy sleep aid, which one will be less likely to send me to jail?

[farrahfields]

drunk - val

farrah: i watched your vlog earlier today. you looked soooo good and i love the way you connect with your audience so easily. i loved the necklace you had on, and the earrings that matched. farrah: can i just say one thing? the backdrop. girl it washed you right out, and i don't think the sweater you had on helped. it was like a maroon, burgundy colour, i think. try some rust colours. red, orange, even a light pastel shade. it'll save you so much time in post with colour correcting.

[farrahfields]

why  did  this  all  feel  so  incredibly  ...  normal  ?  it  shouldn't  be  normal,  should  it  ?  being  a  present  mother  was  an  entirely  different  feeling,  one  that  she  was  only  just  beginning  to  grasp.  it  didn’t  come  with  the  rush  of  fulfillment  she  had  envisioned ;  instead,  it  felt  more  like  a  gentle  unfolding  of  a  new  chapter,  layered  with  both  excitement  and  uncertainty.  emmy  and  farrah  were  still  in  the  early  stages  of  their  relationship,  navigating  the  delicate  balance  of  mother  and  daughter. 

in  some  ways,  this  fresh  connection  made  the  experience  feel  lighter  and  more  enjoyable,  as  if  they  were  embarking  on  an  uncharted  adventure  together.  the  pressure  of  traditional  maternal  expectations  seemed  to  dissolve  in  the  warmth  of  their  blossoming  bond,  allowing  them  to  simply  be  themselves,  to  learn  and  grow  together  without  the  weight  of  preconceived  roles  hanging  over  them. 

this  was  probably  what  contributed  to  the  sense  of  normalcy,  despite  the  profound  nature  of  their  relationship.  it  was  an  unorthodox  start,  but  maybe  that  was  exactly  how  it  needed  to  be. ❛ what do you think, babes ? should we forgive him ? ❜ farrah asks the little girl who almost immediately giggles again and nods her head vigorously. such a daddy's girl. ❛ the princess has spoken. you're lucky because for a moment it really seemed as if she was going go the other way. ❜ she says to alex, a grin slipping over beautifully glossed lips.

when they make it to the face painting tent, farrah lets emmy down into a white plastic chair in front of the painter, picking out what she wanted. farrah takes a step back and crosses her arms beneath her chest comfortably to stand beside alex as they watch their daughter shimmy in the seat with excitement and anticipation. ❛ you don't have to get the clown paint. ❜ she says after a quiet moment between her and alex. the statement was supposed to be a peace offering of sorts, but came off more of a permission slip.