faunthewitch

[faunthewitch]

[faunthewitch]

Catholic church doesnt even allow divorce if domestic violence is involved and vatican city wouldnt exist nowadays without the help of Benito fucking Mussolini and yet theres always some motherfucker being like i hope the next pope is pro gay marriage. I hope I get a house from Santa Claus this year. I hope a horse is going to buy me cheese in the grocery store

[faunthewitch]

food does not have moral value....... food does not have moral value.......is there anybody out there... hello.can anybody hear me.... you need carbohydrates to live.... can somebody help me.... hello.......

[faunthewitch]

this is a poem

[faunthewitch]

are you ever scrolling through tumblr and you have a thought and immediately lose it so you have to scroll back up to give your brain the conditions under which it originally created the thought so you can bring it back

[faunthewitch]

STOP CENSORING YOURSELF ON THIS WEBSITE. FUCK SHIT SEX MURDER ALCOHOL DRUGS FAGGOT DYKE QUEER TRANS BITCH SLUT WHORE SEX SEX SEX SEX!!!!!!!!!!!

[faunthewitch]

kitty cat purring gotta be in the top 1 sounds ever invented it's so awesome that there's a creature that can just be sitting and staring blankly at me but I know she's happy cause she's going brrrrrrrr

[faunthewitch]

that post that's going around about wikipedia being banned in the UK is driving me insane because of this one stupid line

the fuck do they have to do with this lmfao. like:

[faunthewitch]

NOOOOO MY ART GOT NUKED

[faunthewitch]

Okay the WEIRDEST THING is going going down right now

So some guy in Michigan in the US has just found a letter in his grandmother’s house; it seems to be a pen pal letter from 1973ish, and it’s from a young Welsh girl. In it, she lists:

Her name, and the names of her brother (Gwynedd) and sister (Catrin)

Their ages

Where she lives in Wales (Denbigh)

Her hobbies, including horse riding and reading pony books.

So this American dude decides to take a photo, whack it on Twitter and ask the only Welsh person he knows if there’s any way to track this Welsh girl down, because you know, ALL WELSH PEOPLE KNOW EACH OTHER, OBVIOUSLY

Except

I am furious to report that it has worked

Welsh person he tags doesn’t know, but takes up the challenge. Someone reckons the Catrin might be a woman who translated a hymn book once, and checks the foreword to see that the dates and ages do seem to be about right. Someone else suddenly has a brainwave - wait, isn’t she the mother of Steff, the comedian?

My husband gets tagged, takes one look at this letter, and is like “That is 1000% my aunt.”

So now it’s 20 to midnight, Steff’s aunt has obviously not yet seen the excited message to put Twitter out of their misery, and my mother-in-law is currently on the phone gleefully telling us that when that letter was written her sister had never sat on a horse in her life before, and she’d lied to an American pen pal for clout before the internet even existed.

[faunthewitch]

"You could get up early and do it before work" I could also wait for a magic beanstalk to start growing in my living room LMAO. Let's focus on things that happen in the real world

[faunthewitch]

More How To Manage ADHD

“I never remember to take out the trash until my trash can is full, at which point the trash bag is really heavy and the stuff at the bottom has been rotting a while, and it’s awful!”

Small brain: “Try to train yourself to take out the trash on certain days at certain times.”

Large brain: “Buy a tiny trash can. Now you HAVE to empty it.”

[faunthewitch]

I felt like I needed to clarify some things before we could continue any more conversations on this godforsaken website.

I’m very proud of the European Robin, I think I really captured it.

[faunthewitch]

at some point in your life you will be boiling fruit, water, sugar, and lemon juice in a pot to make a syrup or jam. the instructions will tell you to simmer for a certain amt of time. your timer will go off and you will look at the pot and go, "hm, this doesn't look thick enough. maybe i'll let it go for another 10 minutes." this is the devil speaking. it's only so liquid right now because it is at boiling point. it will thicken when it cools down. learn from the follies of my youth and do not let this happen to you

[faunthewitch]

Like to charge reblog to cast

[faunthewitch]

[faunthewitch]

bro im gonna CRY i didnt know this 🥺