faye-mathers-blog

[faye-mathers-blog]

Ryan could feel the sweat gathering on his brow, but he kept going, stopping only to loosen his tie slightly. He didn’t care enough about the sweat or the hard manual labor or the fact that the funeral home directors nearby probably wouldn’t like them digging the graves…it helped him feel something-even if that something was the blisters on his hands. As they dug deeper and deeper, Ryan could feel the anger and resentment and the hurting get pushed further and further to the back of his mind, and instead get replaced with the determination to dig these three graves.

As they finished them, even though they weren’t exactly perfect-nowhere close, in fact-they had been the ones to dig the graves, and Ryan thought that the three of them deserved that. He leaned on his shovel, wiping the sweat from his brow. After admiring his work for a moment, he tossed the shovel aside. Picking up his jacket, he took Faye’s hand yet again and beckoned Rob. “I think it’s time.”

As the shovel began to dig deeper and deeper into the ground, the pain in Faye’s body began to intensify. It was backbreaking labor, the pain in her shoulders kept her distracted from the thoughts in her head, which only encouraged Faye to dig more. Taking a minute to regain her balance, Faye looked down and realized that she was still wearing her high heels. Kicking them off, Faye quickly looked over at Ryan’s hole and realized he was close to finishing. Knowing that he was almost done meant that Rob would be close as well. Not wanting the two men to come and help her finish, Faye began digging again. Pushing the shovel into the ground at a much quicker pace, Faye pushed through the pain. She was determined to finish by herself; she had to finish by herself. With one last shove, Faye got the last of the dirt out and pulled herself out of the hole.

Pleased with herself, Faye began to smile and thought about whom she was doing this for. If Tanya could be there to see Faye now she would laugh at the state, she was in. She would have found it hilarious that Faye had been digging a hole in heels and a dress. Picking up her shoes in one hand, Faye walked over to Ryan and quickly found her other hand being filled with his. Looking up at Ryan and over to Rob, she sighed and nodded her head. “I suppose you’re right. I hope that everyone who wanted to be here for this has made it, we can’t wait any longer.” 

ghosts that we once knew {ryan, faye, and rob}

[faye-mathers-blog]

"I know how you feel darling, everywhere I go I swear out of the corner of my eye I see her blonde hair bouncing up and down like she is running toward me. But when I turn to look...its gone, shes gone. The worst is when I see the blonde with a flash of red and a hat, its unbearable."

Ryan sighed. “I know. Sometimes…sometimes I’ll be sitting down at the bar in the Hole, and…and its like she’s still there with me.”

[faye-mathers-blog]

.....you're right. What do you need me to do Rob? 

I won't let that happen. If you don't make it through this how will the people make it through? They need you, they need a leader. Not just during the rebellion, but after and there is none better suited than you darling. Darling, I have been harboring an illegal gambling operation within my club, if you die I die. 

Fire and Ice

[faye-mathers-blog]

Well I would say that this is as good of a time as any to start. And if it doesn't stop it, at least it will be a good distraction. 

I’ve never been drunk, but I want this to stop…

[faye-mathers-blog]

Rachel McAdams

source:

Autumn Reeser Pinterest

[faye-mathers-blog]

"You really are. If I ever reopen this place and you need a job, you can have one here if you like." Faye smiled at the man and passed the scotch to the man. "Of course darling, you can have as many as you would like. Thank you darling, I really appreciate it. I had forgotten what kindness felt like."

"I know the sign said closed...."

[faye-mathers-blog]

You're right, they are like family to me. But look how many members of that family are gone. There are barely any of us left now. And what would they have wanted you to do?

What aren't you telling me Rob? I may be drunk and emotional, but I won't be lied to. Tell me what you are keeping a secret from me. 

Fire and Ice

[faye-mathers-blog]

If you get drunk enough, you stop feeling the pain, you can stop feeling everything actually. 

How is this going to help? I still feel the pain…

[faye-mathers-blog]

Realizing the thirty minutes had passed quickly, Faye stood up and headed back into the club. Faye walked through the doors and was stunned by what she was seeing. "How did you, how could you have..how did you manage to get all of this cleaned up such a short amount of time?" Walking back to the bar, Faye sat back down in her original seat and smiled. "Well however you did it thank you, I was dreading having to clean all of that up."

"I know the sign said closed...."

[faye-mathers-blog]

"I'm sure that's what it was."

"That is strange. Speaking of weird and strange things, I wanted to apologize for the other day. I'm sorry for attacking you when you had done nothing wrong. And to continue with the strangeness, I wanted to thank you. Thank you for taking me to Rogers, I don't know what would have happened to me if you hadn't taken me there, so thank you."

Its Crazy

"Please don’t shoot me strong hunter man?"

"I don’t know, but it felt like it shouldn’t have let me go that easily. It was almost like it sensed something was weird and decided not to interact with me."

[faye-mathers-blog]

Taking the water from Roger, Faye smiled for the first time since hearing of Tanya's death. "Oh darling, you know helping you has never been a problem. You're like family, and I would do anything for my family." Faye took a sip of the water and felt the cold liquid flow through her body providing relief she hadn't realized she had needed. "Thanks for the water darling, I hadn't realized just how in need of it I was."

"I seem to have fallen into the deep end Roger and as much as I want to stand, I just can't seem to reach the bottom." 

Even Stones Feel

[faye-mathers-blog]

"I promise I won't peek." With those final words, Faye headed out the front door and sat down on the curb. Faye wondered what dear old Chess could possibly have up his sleeves.

"I know the sign said closed...."

[faye-mathers-blog]

"Luckily my sorrows haven't learned to swim yet..but I have a feeling it's only a matter of time. Leave? Oh, alright. I suppose I can do that. Where should I go? Can I just wait outside?"

"I know the sign said closed...."

[faye-mathers-blog]

Faye smiled as Ryan's hand became entwined with her own. "It is...but it...it just makes everything seem so much more permanent." 

[reaches out and takes her hand] It’s a nice effort, I suppose.

[faye-mathers-blog]

I don't know how to feel about it either. 

[stares at a memorial of sorts that has collected outside fire&ice]

[faye-mathers-blog]

Having long since stopped paying his undivided attention the conversation at hand, Ryan walked silently alongside, one of his hands in his pocket, the other one protectively around Faye’s shoulders. As the tears ran down her face, Ryan couldn’t help but practically feel the messy sutures and quick staples he had put in his heart start to break apart and pop out. His heart was bleeding for Faye and Rob, and for the rest of this town. The place itself had become a black hole for despair, its worn-out heart struggling to find a solid rhythm that it could hold onto, and instead grasping at straws, stuttering before its inevitable stop. Someone needed to doctor this town. Someone needed to doctor Ryan’s life. He was done being the victim, and he was done lying down as the Red steamroller crushed his town and his people. 

Ryan stopped at a plot of grass right near a sprawling oak tree, its branches unfurling outwards until they were tiny tendrils of brown, still snaking adventurously away from the trunk. There was the room for three graves right there, and he had become fixated on it. He stared at the lush green grass, the perfect space to house the people that he had once known, now speechless. “This is it. This is where we need to do it,” he murmured, his voice still void of emotion. He wasn’t sure what he felt anymore, but he didn’t want it. He didn’t want to wait for his mind to explode, or implode, or both. He didn’t want to wait until he was a broken mess. So, instead, he went over to the shed nearby, retrieving a shovel. He took off his jacket, casting it aside, and rolled up his sleeves before he broke the previously untouched ground in front of him. Maybe it’s time to destroy something beautiful. 

As Ryan began to dig the graves, Faye examined the area. It was perfect, it was peaceful and beautiful. Everything the final resting place for their loved ones needed to be. Faye was brought back to reality by the sound of the shovel hitting the ground. Deciding she needed to do something more than stand around and watch her friend dig, Faye walked to the shed and found two more shovels. Walking over to Rob, she thrust one of the shovels towards him. "Here, I think it would be best if we helped." 

Grabbing her own shovel, she began digging near Ryan. The repetitive motion pained her shoulders, but Faye refused to quit. She would do this for Tanya, Mere and Harrison, it was the least she could do.  

ghosts that we once knew {ryan, faye, and rob}

[faye-mathers-blog]

"Apologies, had I known you were coming I might have waited." Faye looked around her once treasured club and sighed. The place was trashed, tables and chairs flipped upside down. Some broken, laying as evidence of her anger and what she could only assume was Ryan’s handy work. Behind the bar, along with the broken bottles from her accident, there were tons of empty bottles. Faye couldn’t imagine having to clean up this mess, and planned to put it off for as long as possible. "So how are you holding up darling? Do you plan on drinking away your sorrows? If you are, let me tell you, it doesn’t work as well as one would like."

"I know the sign said closed...."