fcknmj-blog

[fcknmj-blog]

in truth, mj hated house parties. for anyone who knew him and what he was like, this would be hard to believe. the thing is, when you’re in bars and clubs, it’s just all about the drinking and the dancing. at house parties, you’re forced into social situations. that’s exactly what mj does not enjoy. but, since all of his friends were going, and he was pretty sure sohee wouldn’t stop asking him until he showed up, he figured he may as well go. “yep, i did.” he said nonchalantly, sipping from his cup. “how about i just write you a 1000-word essay-style review when it’s over?” he asked, smiling sarcastically. 

her house parties had always been successful to the point sohee didn’t need to worry anymore about them like she used to. she instead learned how to relax while the rest were having fun, and at the end of the night everyone would be talking about it. the music loud, almost impossible to hold a conversation without getting to shout to each other, but that didn’t stop her from wandering around the place with her drink in hand to greet some of her guests. she didn’t know half of the people who were there, but she honestly didn’t mind as long as her house was full and her name was trending on social media. between all those unknown faces she spotted someone she had been trying to invite since a while ago, surprised at first but feeling victorious afterwards. “ you made it! ” she approached, smiling brightly as she was sincerely excited for seeing them there. “ so how is it so far? do you regret coming? ” 

[fcknmj-blog]

hungover, as always, mj was just about groaning in annoyance at everything small thing that happened in his day. running out of milk was definitely a groan-worthy event, but nonetheless, he dragged his drained body to the store, mask and cap on to hide his clearly exhausted features. all he wanted was to buy the milk and go home, but yet another annoying situation presented itself in the chatty girl being served before him. mj sighed, listening to the events of this girl’s day with minimal interest, tapping his foot impatiently. eventually, he was done waiting, and he made a step towards the counter. “excuse m--” his voice was cut short by the girl’s hand making contact with his cheek. “what the fuck, man?” mj almost yelled. sliding the mask off his face and under his chin, he scoffed, wearing a smile of disbelief. “wait, so, i get slapped in the face, and somehow that makes your day worse?” he asked, shaking his head.

          “ LISTEN. ” this hasn’t been bitna’s best day. she filmed a video earlier in the morning, only to find out that her sd card decided to bail on her and just die. that was later followed by spilling her boba tea all over herself in public because she jammed the straw in too harshly, resulting in a purple stain on her top. and to top it all off, some kid took the last pack of m&m’s in the convenience store near her apartment. this is some grade-a bullshit. the girl gesticulates wildly as she complains about her day to the store attendant, not caring whether they listen or not. “ i just can’t believe it !! as if — ” she abruptly comes to a stop when the back of her hand makes contact with someone’s face, or neck, or chest — makes contact with someone. did she just backhand slap someone by accident? bitna whips around, stifling a laugh. “ oh my god, i am so sorry — ugh, as if my day couldn’t get anymore worse… ”

[fcknmj-blog]

nozous‌: 

maybe lucky was the wrong choice of words. Nonetheless, she imagined that it was most likely better than where she was. Maybe not the best but with the amount go loneliness she felt and with the amount of years she went with microwaveable food, along with intoxication of drugs, alcohol and abuse which wasn’t healthy at all and in those moments she wondered where he went, what was he doing and most of all, if he ever worried about her like how she worried about him. “ I wasn’t the favorite. Yes - she kept me for some sort of reason but it wasn’t because I was the favorite.” She tried to think of ways to build up her argument but no matter how hard she though, nothing came through. “ I didn’t mean that - now you’re just twisting my words.” Her herself didn’t even know what she was trying to say or mean. She had some many things going on in her life 0 student debt, regular debts, along with loan sharks coming at her from every corner, and her fights with both yen and cannor but now this? She wasn’t going to pass her baoard exam, which was just a few days away, with so many things on her mind. This exam meant everything to her; she would be the first one in her family to even complete school. If she passes this test, she would be good for life. Maybe her debts wouldn’t go away or neither will the loan sharks but it would be much easier to pay them back with a high paying job like a doctor. Their small little hugs were the hugs she always longed for ever since they parted ways. Always missing one as the days go on.”we can both be alone..together then.” A small smile grew across her face as she said those three words, meaning every single one.”yeah, we are. We will always be fuck ups.”

“maybe you weren’t her favourite, whatever.” he spoke in a dismissive tone. “i stopped giving a shit about her a long time ago, i’m not going to start again now.” mj was in denial for a long time after his mother left him, always believing she would come back and want him again. after so long, he just gave up, and promised that he would leave her, and everything else from that life, behind. he would just forget and never think about it. it had worked, up until yena came back into his life. it was like everything had just come back to hit him tenfold, and all the while, he had been the bad guy? it was overwhelming to say the least. “i just...” he sighs. “i don’t want you to stand here and think you’re the only one who suffered because of that woman. you have no idea what kind of hell foster home is, and i only lived with our mother until i was seven, so i don’t know your shit, either.” mj didn’t want yena to think he had it better. he wasn’t sure why; who takes pride in having a shitty childhood? but he supposed he was probably still being defensive from her being so mad at him. mj still felt slightly uncomfortable, suddenly having a sister was enough to shake up anybody, but he had never felt the desire to make an effort with anyone more than with yena. “of course we will, it’s in our genes.” 

[fcknmj-blog]

baelevt‌:

this wasn’t new, at all. many times she had the opportunity to get to find mj in this same state when coming back from work and she honestly didn’t know what to do anymore. the smell strong enough to be noticed from the hallway, nervousness taking over as she got closer to the door. she wasn’t scared of him, there was no reason to be. furthermore, she was getting more used to it. but she didn’t want that, she hated finding his friend like this and not being able to do something about it. his voice causing her to freeze for a moment, putting a fake smile on her face before approaching him, hiding both tiredness and disappointment. “ having fun, i see. ” her eyes on the many bottles on the floor, trying to walk through them so she could find herself some space on the sofa. “ oh that sounds perfect. but, will your stomach resist that much food though? ” 

his habits had gotten to the point where he didn’t even feel bad anymore. he knew he was a liability, and that his roommate didn’t deserve to come home and have to deal with mj in this state. she was definitely used to it by now, though. mj liked scarlett, and he didn’t hate living with her, but he doubted she felt the same way about him. “always.” he replied, sitting up on the couch and stretching with a groan. “resist?” he scoffed. “my stomach is used to this kind of torment, it won’t be resisting anything.” mj was drunk, sure, be was also high, and lord knows he could eat an entire horse in this situation. “i’ll even let you share some.” he offered with a smile, his voice high-pitched and singing.

[fcknmj-blog]

i have basically a free day all day tomorrow guys so i will def do replies and plotting then!! i promise!! im sorry im a flop!!

[fcknmj-blog]

sorry guys the first couple weeks back at uni have been hectic but a couple updates:

ya girl got herself a JOB

there’s no wifi in my room so replies might be a lil slow until my landlord fixes it

i’m back and ready to get my plots and threads on so hmu

[fcknmj-blog]

@jvhoon @kcngsjimin

[fcknmj-blog]

@baelevt

the moment mj heard the door open and closed, he smiled. “scarlett!” he yelled, giggling to himself afterwards as his own voice had startled him. mj was layed on the sofa, joint still smoking in the ashtray on the coffee table and several empty bottles laid on the floor. it was quite the picture to walk into. “i was thinking we should get chinese food, but like, a fuck tonne of food and just eat it all.” he spoke, words slurred but mood obviously elated. he held his arms up, waving them around strangely as if he was drawing in the air. “i’m super hungry.” he whined.

[fcknmj-blog]

nozous‌:

did he actually really mean that? did he actually really love her ? for a minute she actually thought she was in some sort of dream. a dream she didn’t even feel the need to stay until now. no one really loved her, let alone ever came close to even say the words i love you - or at least that’s what she thinks. for someone like jeonghan to say that he loves her means a lot. something she always wanted to have but never really got it with her mom or dad. “i’m s-sorry. i’m such an inconsiderate fuck, huh.” she hides the fact that she admitted something like that with a chuckle. “you shouldn’t be .. mad or angry - you were lucky to be out of that place. back then i would have done everything just to be where you were. she never took care of me. never came close. she would always just leave me to the side just so she can take her drugs alone in peace and forget she even had responsibilities and let those rich sugar daddies that she sleeps with take care of her bills and such - which i guess, runs in the family.” another chuckle came as she felt the hot tears drip down on her face and in this moment, she was crying with him. feeing his pain at the same time.”i’m sorry, okay? im fucking sorry. please don’t go. everyone left and you can’t leave too. you’re the only one i have left. ” quiet sobs leave her mouth as she hugs him from behind, her face buried into his back. “don’t. please.”

he didn’t feel the weight lift. the metaphorical weight that disappears when you finally talk about something that you have been holding inside for so long. mj had never talked about this, about how shitty his childhood really was. about how his parents got rid of him simply because they didn’t want to have to deal with two children, and it was clear which one they favoured. still, even after getting it out, he was still filled with anger and resentment. “lucky?” he scoffed. “you think i was lucky?” he shook his head, squeezing his eyes closed and taking a deep breath. “you still don’t get it, do you?” he asked, looking at her. “you were obviously the favourite, yena. the one they wanted to keep. do you have any idea how shitty my childhood was? yeah, i guess yours was, too, but don’t fucking tell me i’m lucky that my parents wanted to keep their little girl and get rid of their boy.” he kept his voice as calm as he could. his tone was harsh, but not loud. “maybe mom never showed that she loved you, but she kept you for a reason.” mj imagined he’d probably continue to be resentful about everything that happened for the rest of his life. it wasn’t yena’s fault, of course, but he wanted her to understand fully that she didn’t draw the short straw, and they both had suffered as they grew up. but now, he supposed, this was their chance to have each other again. true family, and none of that adoptive, abusive bullshit that mj was used to. he’s tempted to leave, still, his emotions running on high. he scoffs with a quick breath of laughter, feeling her attach herself to his back. “you think you’re the only one who’s alone?” he asked, voice sounding drained. he held her arms, lifting them away from his body so he could turn around to face her. mj returned her arms to their original positions and wrapped his own around her, too. he rested his chin on her head and blinked back tears. “we’re so fucked up, yena.” he spoke quietly. 

[fcknmj-blog]

rain, ☼, broken

rain: i’ll write a fluffy drabble of our characters kissing in the rain. 

perfect. mj couldn’t go on one innocent date without the rain trying to ruin it. and by it, he meant his expensive clothes that he saved for times like this. youngsoo seemed just as disgruntled about the rain as mj was, and extremely hesitant to go out into it. with a huff, mj reached into his bag and pulled out an umbrella. it was only small, but just enough to keep the both of them somewhat dry. mj put it up, and stepped out from under the bus-stop, onto the wet street. he held out a hand for youngsoo to take from his dry position, but he shook his head, reluctant to leave the sanctuary. “come on.” mj tried again, taking his hand and pulling him forward in one swift movement. youngsoo had been yanked forward so quickly that his body had collided gently with mj’s, and they were now pressed up against each other. mj wore a smile as he held the other’s waist, noticing how their noses brushed together. slowly, he closed his eyes and leaned into a soft kiss, one that only lasted a few seconds but was sweet nonetheless. grinning, mj pulled away, looking down into the other’s eyes before taking his hand again. “let’s go.” he said, heading in the direction of whoever’s apartment was closest.

☼ : a memory my character has with yours that they’ll never forget

being drunk never usually turned out devastatingly bad for mj. sure, he was messy, and sometimes violent and emotional, but never usually as bad as he was this night. he had gotten into a fight, a pretty bad one, and there were blood and tears all over his face as he dragged his drained body to the house of the one person he could think of right now. he knew youngsoo wouldn’t judge him, but all mj wanted was to just fuck and forget. he knocked on the door with the little strength he had left, and as soon as it opened, mj practically pounced on the other, kissing him passionately and pushing him backwards into his place before he even had time to question it. all of a sudden, mj felt his emotions building up again, stronger than ever and completely uncontrollable. tears started to fall, but only when he couldn’t hold back sobs did he pull away from youngsoo’s mouth, head resting on the other’s chest instead as he let out cries. “i need to... feel better. this... fucking sucks.” he managed in-between breaths. youngsoo took mj gently, allowing him to lean against his frame so he could guide him to the bedroom. for hours, mj cried and yelled. all the while, youngsoo was cleaning him up and just listening, which was what mj truly needed. he had a way of calming mj down that proved to be very helpful in the moment. after a while, mj was laid in youngsoo’s bed, both his body and his mind completely drained of energy, and his breathing still wobbling and shallow. youngsoo’s strong arms were wrapped around mj, holding him close and making him feel the safest he’s ever felt. he wanted that night to last forever. 

broken: i’ll write our characters breaking up or in an angsty scene.

“yknow, i really thought i could get something out of you.” mj yelled, his voice full of both anger and heartbreak. “i told you all that shit, about my family, about my life. i’ve been at my lowest point with you, youngsoo, and what do i get?” he asked rhetorically, hands wild in gesture as mj paced around the room, collecting random objects that belonged to him. if he was going to make a dramatic break-up and exit from youngsoo’s place, he planned on doing it properly. “nothing.” he answered himself, but the word coming out in a low tone of despair. he was done yelling. he was just done with everything. “whatever, man. it’s not as if this was ever a real thing anyway, right?” he asked, trying to hard to allow his voice to break. mj nodded, pressing his lips into a thin line and looking down at the items in his hand. they were random, and useless; a t-shirt, a sweet-tin, a water bottle, among a few other trinkets. “you know what,” he said, throwing the t-shirt in youngsoo’s direction. “you can keep that.” he wasn’t sure why he gave it back. maybe because he wasn’t completely ready to let go, or because he had convinced himself that it was the other that wasn’t ready. “goodbye, youngsoo.” he said, forcing a polite smile and leaving out the door as quickly as he could.

[fcknmj-blog]

@mingvk @jngmiis

//sultry music playing in the background//

[fcknmj-blog]

Milkshake

milkshake: our characters will have to split a milkshake

“do you need me to guide the straw to your mouth?” mj asked teasingly, arms resting lazily over the back of the american-style diner seats and eyes on the boy in front of him. coming here was a great suggestion, but both boys had been pretty dumb to not bring enough money. eventually, they settled on sharing a milkshake, though mj wasn’t entirely happy by that. still, though, half a milkshake was better than coming here for no reason. “now,” he said, leaning forward. “i would normally tell someone in this situation not to look into my eyes and accidentally fall in love with me, but,” he paused, sighing jokingly. “you’re blind and already in love with me, so i don’t think we’ll have any problems.” he chuckled. 

[fcknmj-blog]

who do you hold closest?

     “   aside from my mom… — probably mj. he’s been apart of my family since i was eleven or ten? there’s a lot about me that he knows, and even if he doesn’t understand it, he’s patient with me. i know not everyone gets to see the very soft heart he does has, and i think it’s a shame. he’s had a lot of bad stuff happen to him that he didn’t deserve, and i’m not trying to excuse the things he does, because i know he shouldn’t. and i wish he wouldn’t. but i still care about him, a lot. and i’ll always be there for him.   ”

( @fcknmj )

[fcknmj-blog]

Quiet Me love me byeeeeeeee

quiet me: i’ll write a drabble about my character trying to calm yours down

mj tried to stay as quiet as possible, his fingers gliding gently through jimin’s hair as he shushed her crying. he had never liked her boyfriend. whether it was the side of him that was protective or the side that really had a bad feeling, it didn’t matter. mj wasn’t even sure if he was happy to have been right, since it had caused jimin so much pain. while one hand was soothing her gently, the other was balled into a tight fist, all of his anger being projected into that hand. “don’t cry over him.” he spoke softly, brushing away her tears. “he’s not worth it.” mj leaned down gently, kissing her temple ever so softly and resuming stroking her hair. “you deserve so much better, jimin.” mj wanted it to be him so badly, but he was nowhere near the ‘better’ that she deserved.

[fcknmj-blog]

Protect, » :

protect: my character keeps yours safe from harm. 

mj wasn’t sure what it was about halloween, but the day seemed to make people go crazy. this year, there had been a huge trend of trashing stores, and as he approached the store that yena worked in, he noticed that it had been a recent target. as he saw the people moving frantically inside, mj picked up the pace and ran over, filled with concern. as he approached the door, he saw the perpetrator fighting with yena, pushing her away from him as he attempted to trash her store. “yah!” mj called out, landing a punch on the guy the second his head was turned. it cause him to stumble back, completely surprised by the sudden attack. mj grabbed the guy’s collar, essentially dragging him out of the store and pushing him onto the street, watching with a glare as they stared each other down, the stranger eventually running off. mj let out a sigh, turning back into the store and seeing the mess everywhere. he looked at yena, who seemed shaken. “you okay?” he asked.

» : a future event my character would like to happen with them + yours

mj was clearly older, his face beginning to soften in some places, but his attitude and behaviour was still as normal as ever. of course, he looked like a completely different person in the moment, wearing a smile as he bounced a toddler on his lap. “do you think your eomma has finished with dinner?” he asked in a baby voice that he would have usually cringed at. since having a niece, though, he found himself doing it a lot. mj stood up with the girl in his arms, placing her on his hip and walking to the kitchen, leaning against the frame and watching yena rush around with oven gloves on. “the baby is hungry.” mj pouted, pausing. “oh, and so is your daughter.” he joked, referring to himself as the baby, and finding it way funnier than it was. chuckling, he headed off to the dining room to place the girl in her chair before going back to the kitchen to help yena with the food. “thanks for inviting me over.” he said with genuine gratitude. 

[fcknmj-blog]

Protect

PROTECT - my character keeps yours safe from harm

mj had spent his night as he usually did, in a bar. although, tonight wasn’t full of drinking as much as others, he figured he just wasn’t feeling it. as he stepped out onto the street, mj already had a cigarette between his fingers ready to light. the boy stood on the corner, eyes watching people drunk and stumbling by as he lit the cigarette. mj wasn’t particularly a fan of drunk people when he was sober. they were pushy, loud and frankly annoying. a large group had approached, pushing past everybody and lining up to go inside. as they barged past, he noticed a girl stumble backwards into the road as someone had pushed her. usually, he wouldn’t have looked twice, but the sound of a car quickly approaching made him spring into action, grabbing the girl’s waist and pulling her to safety, narrowly missing the speeding car. it had happened so fast that it took mj a few moments to process the scenario, all the time still holding the girl close. he cleared his throat, letting her go and stepping back. “you should be more careful.”  he said, in a tone that was commanding but not harsh.