fcksafiya

[fcksafiya]

SAF AND SAB

‘weird. he’s my friend’s older brother.’

@sebnavarette

[fcksafiya]

🌟 // joel

Send 🌟 to force my muse to compliment yours // !! accepting !!

‘i appreciate you always letting me rant to you and i think you’re very honorable and kind.’

@joeljihoo

[fcksafiya]

🌟

Send 🌟 to force my muse to compliment yours // !! accepting !!

‘you are a sweet soul, very just and an amazing fighter. i admire you, svala.’

@svalaxsigurd

[fcksafiya]

Anonymously or not, tell me who you ship my muse with.

[fcksafiya]

🌟-- seb

Send 🌟 to force my muse to compliment yours // !! accepting !!

‘no one needs to force me to compliment this man, i would gladly die complimenting him. 

sebastián navarette is my heart and soul, he is my soulmate and my other half in every way he can be. he is the kindest man i know, the soul with the biggest heart. he is caring and welcoming, if he loves you he will protect you like family. he has protected me like family, he taught me like family. i am eternally indebted to this wonderful, beautiful man. i think everything about him is perfect, from his curls to those big eyes, to his lips. the lips i’ve thought about every single day for the past nine years. i love his hands because they were always there to hold me up, i love his lips for uttering the sweetest words, for giving me the sweetest kiss. i love his eyes for looking at me the way they did. i would die for him, and i do not say so lightly. i will protect him, i will save him and i will help him. i’ll never be good enough for him, but no one will. i will support his every decision whether that be he wants me or he wants someone else. i will love him until my passing day. i will always love him.

he’s a very sweet older brother to his family, a loyal son and an honorable man.’

@sebnavarette

[fcksafiya]

🌟 but Kass

Send 🌟 to force my muse to compliment yours // !! accepting !!

‘impossible, i can’t think of a single compliment for this vermin of a girl,

not her silky hair, her beautiful and captivating eyes, that cute little nose, those plump begging to be kissed lips. i don’t like the fact that she’s so small, so… beyond small yet her sass is through the roof. she can’t even fucking touch the roof. i don’t like how the girl i met that night is gone, but she’s not really gone. she’s hiding under this dickhead of a person, itching to come out.

so no, no redeeming factors about this vampire lady.’

@ladyrydell

[fcksafiya]

ladyrydell‌:

“i’m not the girl i was when i was with you. i didn’t expect to ever be that girl ever again. she was like a ghost of the past. but i’m not her.” it was true. kass was, well, kass as she was now, but that night, she was a very old version of her that she thought had died a long, long time ago. it was a kass who laughed and smiled and was curious, one who spoke a lot and cared for the connection she’d made, and one who had some idiotic sense of hope. she didn’t know why safiya of all people brought that old self out of her. it was a version of herself she missed dearly, the one that had never killed a living soul and was beyond sweet and loving… and just as fast as she had come, she’d left. kass had buried that part of her away, her humanity. it really didn’t pay to be so human after all. “it’s funny how you were… you with me but you still hid so much anyway. i made a very good choice in hiding everything from you then. and once again it’s you who’s full of yourself ‘cause you keep talking about that night and how i must miss you oh so much. it’s been nine years. if i missed you, i’d have come to you sooner. and i don’t ever wanna do it again.”

kass sighed at her, feeling a little tired of this. she’d just come to warn her and they were going back and forth with this nonsense. “because i don’t hate christian as much as i hate you. it’s satisfying to kill people i hate. though i didn’t have much drive for you. you’re not very inspirational on your own. but you as an alpha? inticing. besides, this is actually my first break i’ve had in a couple decades and i feel like i can’t sit still so lucky you, i chose you.” she arched an eyebrow at her, eyes trailing down her body as she stood up, and smiled for the first time. “i promise you i will.” but she shrugged. “i’m sure you can find someone else to fuck just fine enough. get used to me now, then. the girl you met that night died ages ago. she was never supposed to come out.” but the fact was that kass liked how she was with saf that night. she thought of it a lot, and saf liked her like that. it was a shame that kass was too far gone.

saf might’ve sounded like a fool, but she was in no way an actual fool. she didn’t expect to turn this kass into the kass she’d had for one night, frankly there was no telling if it were even possible. she didn’t care, she’d still have sex with which ever kass. dying didn’t sound very appealing, but safiya didn’t trust her weak threat. ‘why do you hate me again? i still just don’t understand.’ she asked with a roll of her eyes and an annoyed scoff. ‘once again, you’re so fucking weird. you’re just weird. i can easily find someone else to fuck, vampire, it was a pitiful offer. she did come out, i needn’t get used to any kass in my life. but she’s clearly not dead if she came out to play once, she’ll be back. good-bye, kass. really this time, i’m sorry i didn’t say goodbye that night.’ saf took a step back, heading out of the tavern without another word. 

[fcksafiya]

volfmade‌:

                          ‘ dear ’ , she says .  ‘ not here on business ’ .  jakub immediately settles , scent heavy on the back of his tongue . to hunt on the outskirts of the fae courts  –  jakub never dared , not in the years he’d lived aside them . taking their game despite neutral ground seemed to toe a line of mutual respect he’d refuse to break . and so , he looks to the stranger , brown eyes seeking the form who exuded a certain warmth . he smiles , slow . almost tentative .

                        “ north . from here , and up around the lake . elk wander down from time to time . ”   for his best feasts and leathers he’d ascend towards them , and he offers the information with nonchalance , moving to stand and wander slow to the rowboat just across from him , the small package from his lap hidden now under panelling .   “ i’m free to hunt . ”

while the alpha was careful in the usual sense, today was a different day. today, she didn’t feel like being a leader, she just felt like running around, hunting. she wasn’t even sure if she was hungry or bored, but hungry or bored wasn’t like a human’s. she looked where the man pointed to, towards north, the talk of elk making her mouth water before she nodded once. ‘come along, then. hunting with weapons or hunting in our furry counterparts? i don’t much like weapons, but feel free to use them if you so wish.’

[fcksafiya]

@navaretteluna

mia was safiya’s oldest and truest friend, her smartest and kindest. maybe her best friend, that’s certainly what she’d called her when they were younger. now that they were older, they were women and it seemed silly to have best friends, but regardless, mia was hers. there were others, but everyone had their friend soulmate and their actual soulmate. for safiya, both of them happened to stem for the navarette family, but now she only talked to one of them. she held mia close and dear to her heart after she lost sebastián. things were complicated now though, she’d seen him not long ago but she didn’t know if mia knew of this. mia always knew everything, but saf wouldn’t confide in her because sebastián needed his person and mia was his sister. so she kept her secrets to herself, even if all she wanted to talk about was sebastián. 

now wasn’t the time for such, even if she couldn’t think about anything else. not even dramatically, the only thoughts in her head right now was what he was doing, whether he missed her as much as she missed him or when would they talk again. she shook her head physically as she approached mia, slumping her head on her friend’s shoulder and putting her arm through mia’s. ‘i miss you, luna. can we go get some food? just take a day off from being amazingly powerful and strong, independent women in our pack? what d’you say?’

[fcksafiya]

catarinadelacruz‌:

“Safiya, what an interesting name… me encanta.” Catarina smiled as the beautiful brunette made some extra space for her to join. She was often amazed by how welcoming the people of Candoris could be. “And it’s no problem sweetheart, I do enjoy treating the ladies every once and a while. Especially when they are as lovely as you.” Catarina winked before reaching out and accepting the handshake. “So what do you do for fun around here?”

‘gracias, mi amor. saf or safi work also.’ she didn’t try her tongue at the language much, not being fluent but understanding the bits and pieces she’d learned from spending eight years with the navarette’s. ‘well, i do too. so you’ll have to let me get the second round.’ saf grinned at the wink, pulling her hand in to press a kiss to the other’s knuckles. it was out of respect more than it was flirting, but nevertheless, it happened. ‘i wasn’t having much fun until now, just working through some theories, but my idea of fun is a good fight. sparring, training, arguing, whatever you want to call it. though spending time with beautiful people is a very close second. what about you, catarina? what do you get up to for fun?’

[fcksafiya]

ladyrydell‌:

kass dared not to give any indication she recalled the silly nickname. was it a nickname? kass my ass? when she’d said it before all those years ago, it had been cute and made her laugh at how clever it was. she only sighed heavily when it became clear saf was going to leave. “what does our names have to do with anything? it’s irrelevant.” kass’ eyes narrowed up at her. was she missing something? maybe. but calling herself russell was just the same tactic safiya used by not giving her a last name at all. it was just different. “stop pretending like you didn’t hide anything either, will you? we both hid things from each other. the end.” but now, saf was treading on some very thin ice. her narrowed eyes looked away quickly as she glared into empty space, but then she laughed. it was the same bubbly laugh that saf had coaxed out of her years ago, but it was somehow crueler, not at all full of pure, good joy. “oh my goodness,” she crossed her arms over her chest and laughed again. “what? you’re clearly the one who needs to get over it as you’re the one who keeps talking about our night together.” kass scoffed and rolled her eyes. 

“how does your head manage to fit into this place at all? you really think that highly of yourself that i’ve got some kind of vendetta against you over a one night stand? no. that’s not how it works. “enough with your false courtesies,” she snapped. as if safiya actually respected her enough to call her my lady. “i thought you were a werewolf. when you’re looking for food and see a deer, is that not a target that you set yourself? targets are targets no matter who sets them and no matter the reason.” kass laughed again, absolutely having to cover her mouth. that’s you wanting to commit a murder. it was about the funniest thing she had ever heard. it was true. “you might as well consider me… self-employed when i don’t have a job from someone else, then.” kass still couldn’t get over it. of course it was wanting to commit a murder. it was what she lived for and she enjoyed it. “so go.” she said with a shrug. but then furrowed her eyebrows. “no. why would i ever want to fuck again? i want to kill you. are you that dim-sided?”

the nickname was cute, in fact it brought back many memories of their night. gods, what a fucking fun night. she’d never forgotten it, some nights it was all she had. sure she’d been heartbroken when she met kass, but that’s why the girl was so incredibly important to her. she was trying to let it show, not her excitement or her minor annoyance for never being able to find her again. now from what she could gather, kass had known who she was since. ‘never said i hadn’t, i don’t care what i hid. i’m not that girl i was hiding from anyway. i’m this person, i am that person who i was that night but the same can not be said for you.’ safiya laughed too, hers wasn’t as cruel of cynical as kass’ was, it was mostly just to hide the slight embarrassment she felt. ‘don’t be so full of yourself, darling. you were a good time but everything comes to an end. but you were a whole lot of fun and i’d do it again, yeah.’

she let out a deep sigh, holding all her stuff in her hand and looking down at the smaller girl in front of her. ‘that’s not the same thing, is it? you’re a hired assassinator. but yours is a vendetta. why me? why not christian?’ saf retorted, never wanting to have her counterpart hunted, but she really didn’t believe this vampire to have the upper hand here either way. ‘murder, baby. fine. murder me. you’ll have to defeat me first, my lady.’ she straightened her back as her eyes followed down the others body and back up to her face with a smirk. ‘yeah, i wanna fuck again. beats death, doesn’t it? goodbye kassandra. i liked the person i met that night, but i’m not sure i recognise you now.’

[fcksafiya]

christianvbennet‌:

Christian needed to find Safiya–with everything going on both in and out of the castle, he found he needed the counsel of his co-alpha. He tried not to think of his most recent exchange with the king; Viktor telling him he needed to spend time apart from Arielle had torn Christian’s heart clean in half. He’d been barred access from her for the time being, a thought that caused him to feel all out of sorts as he made his way through the palace. No one, not even his dear sweet Emmaline, knew he had imprinted on Arielle.

So no one knew, not really, what it meant for Christian to be pulled away from her.

“Somehow, I don’t think that’s possible,” Christian said with a smile as Safiya joked about his height. He moved towards her, stopping before his co-alpha as he felt a knot loosen in his chest. He moved to sit beside her, glancing out the nearby window at the sunny courtyard. “I’ve spoken with Roan about training with his recruits; it seems like a good idea for all of us to be prepared for whatever may come, but I still…I still feel like there’s more I could be doing. More I should be doing.” 

there were so many changes in her life that up until now, and for the last 10 years, she’d only felt comfortable talking to sebastian. but apart from recent events, it had been ten years since safiya had felt comfortable with another in this way. christian was… pretty much as close as she’d get to having another person. he was her confidant, her co-alpha and though she hadn’t imprinted on him by any means, their bond was comparable. a friendly, brotherly type. still, they had a ways to go, neither had actually confided properly in the other quite yet.

‘yeah?’ she cracked a grin as he sat beside her, the weight on her shoulders instantly being shared. ‘oh christian, i feel the same way. like i’m a sitting dick while the world keeps changing. you know i think that all of us training with the kingsguard is a brilliant plan, really. i think that’s the most we can be doing right now.’ she sighed softly, eyes darting across his face and seeing the worry behind them. ‘what’s bothering you, brother? you know we can talk about anything, right? i won’t judge you nor your choices ever, just as i hope you won’t with mine.’

[fcksafiya]

sebnavarette‌:

The words that fell from her lips were so disheartening. Mainly because that’s all that they could ever do was dream. Had his parents not drilled all of those expectations in his head as a boy, had they not been present like hers were, would they have a chance? The ideals of his family that he had to live up too. Every. Single. Time. Without a second of reprieve or a moment for him to be himself. It was always ‘Sebastián do this’ or ‘Sebastián, watch out for your siblings.’ He had sacrificed so much to be that perfect eldest son for his parents. And the moment he wanted something and approached them with it, they had shot him down. After everything he had already done for them, Safiya was the one thing they couldn’t give him. So now they had to live in their dreams, their what ifs, their almosts.

Had he not been plagued with the thoughts of the could have beens as his eyes kept trained on her scar, he might’ve realized Safiya had moved from the desk and onto his lap. The wolf stiffened for a moment, not because of her, but because of her action and what it had meant. To be this close to him she was closer than she had been in a long time. He held his breath pressing his lips shut, clenching his fists, and letting his eyes close. It felt so good to have her here. Tentatively, he dared to open his eyes scared to think that it had only been a dream playing a cruel trick on him and that she wasn’t really there at all. He let out a shaky breath when his eyes fell upon her’s now, deep brown earthy hues where Safiya bared it all, her thoughts, her dreams, her soul. All swirling around in those chestnut irises luring him in. A breathy moan escaped his mouth as she tangled her fingers through his curly hair, letting his head fall to one side.

Almost like an addict who had been sober for too long reintroduced to the very thing that kept him high, he could feel the intoxication within him brewing. How even in the smallest doses, Safiya managed to bring a senseless man out of him. She managed to ignite thoughts in his mind that had been buried deep ten years ago that only she had the match for. He was brought out of those thoughts when she started talking about her scar, how she hated it so much. Those words reminded him of the girl that had always been insecure with herself, the one he knew from what seemed like a lifetime ago. All of those insecurities bubbling to the surface, disdain written across the features of his face. He couldn’t have been with her these past ten years, no. And that broke his heart. But the thing that hurt even more was that someone had did this to her, and he watched her retreat to the shell of the girl he had thought she left in the past. How things seemed to change in ten years.

“You’re beautiful, Safiya. You’ve always been beautiful,” Seb tried to carefully remind her of the things he had told her when they were younger. He had never lied to her, he couldn’t. And he knew that some part of Safiya had to believe that he could only ever be honest with her. He brought his hand up to the scars slashed against her skin, delicately tracing the healed lesions with his own fingers until they met the seem of her neckline. Without much thinking, he gripped the cloth in his hand and slowly pulled it down her shoulder, exposing every bit of skin determined to find each and every one of them to see with his own eyes. Moving his hand down to her chest, he barely rested it against her skin, just above where her heart sat beating against the palm of his hand now. He looked back up to her, eyes filled with worry and regret. The blame that he placed on himself for not being there that one day. The day that she needed him the most. He was careful not to let too many emotions show on his face, but this was his Safiya. He had felt these scars when they were slashed on her skin against his own. The irritation lasted for days, but the heaviness of his heart weighed him down for much longer.

A surprised look played across his features when she took his hand, bringing it to her lips and placing the softest kisses against his palm and his fingers. They had felt the same as they had the day he kissed her. The last time they truly ever spoke. Not a thing had changed between them. No feelings had slipped through the holes they had left with each other hearts. Those memories were burned into his memories, the way she had touched him, the way she held him, the way she kissed him. “Nothing could ever hurt me as much as me not fighting for you, for not being there for you when you needed me the most,” he admitted to her, his voice was soft now, barely a whisper.

His eyes flicked back up to hers as she spoke. Seb had to blink a few times to make sure it was all still real. That what she had been saying to him was actually happening. Now his heart was thumping against his chest. The heat that emanated from him was too much to handle as he sat there letting her words sink in. All of them confirming the suspicions that he had all along. That she had always felt the same way that he felt about her. Here they were, ten years later in the same spot that Safiya admitted to him then. Only this time he wasn’t going to let her stop him from kissing her. He wasn’t going to let his parents get in her head before they got the chance to enjoy something. In his life, Sebastián had been nothing but selfless. Now it seemed like it was his right to be selfish. To have her in his arms after all this time, feeling all of the things he had in every moment they shared together.

“Just for this moment,” the words fell off his lips before he smiled softly. Seb didn’t even say another word, he didn’t have to. In one moment, he was looking at her with fire burning behind his eyes, the next he had wrapped his hand around the back of her neck, pulling her in closer to him so he could press his lips against hers. There was no amount of restraint that could have stopped him from doing this, from giving in to his most basic instincts. When their lips met, the last ten senseless years faded away into nothing. It didn’t matter how much time had been wasted between the two of them, because she was here in his arms now. Hands in his hair as he deepened the kiss, tugging down the fabric of her dress he had already done earlier.

her dreams remained untouched from the cruel of life most nights, on good nights they were together. it was her and him, with his parents accepting her and their siblings being on board. in the good dreams, he loved her and he told her everyday, she told him. they kissed too much for their own good, they were always together. sometimes she was alpha, sometimes she wasn’t but mostly it just didn’t matter because she had her sebastian. she was his wife, they didn’t need anything else but they had the world. her bad dreams were bad, they were reality. a world where she could see him but never be with him, never talk to him, never kiss him or hold him. safiya had never yearned to hold someone more in her life than now.

now as she sat in his lap, things were easier. the world seemed to just fade away because they were the only two that mattered. she wasn’t thinking about the what ifs or has beens, all she was thinking about was how much she felt like herself. her true self. she sat up straight, eyes gazing so deeply into sebastian’s and not so much as flinching when he touched her. not when he pulled her dress down to look. after all, she was his to look and touch. his in every sense of the word. she felt her heartbeat quicken against his hands, seb had never seen this way before. not physically naked, but she couldn’t resist it. 

suddenly all she wanted was his strong hands on every inch of her body, holding her up, loving her. when he called her beautiful, she believed it. the only time she’d accept a compliment without putting up a fuss, without stuttering over words to compliment him back. she didn’t need the upper hand now, she just liked hearing it. ‘i’ve missed you saying that. it sounds real when you say it. thank you, my sebastian.’ she wondered if he’d felt it then, how she felt. she could feel his heart with hers, at least she thought she could. feel the beating of his with hers, sometimes she could even feel his gaze on hers, as if wherever he was he was thinking about her. but now that everything was in her grasp, it felt foreign but not unwarranted. 

safiya moved closer to him, pressing herself firmly against him as she read his eyes, read every inch of his face with so much ease. she could see how he’d aged in the past ten years, a grey here, a wrinkle there but he was stunning. even now, he was almost more stunning than he’d ever been, not a single curl out of place, his arms as strong as ever. as if she could fall deeper in love with him in any way. ‘my moon, it wasn’t your fault. it wasn’t your fault that you weren’t there, it was chance. my want for you is far greater than my need for you, my darling. i’m alpha now, aren’t i? i made it, with your help, i wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you. don’t you dare blame yourself for something you couldn’t have controlled. he’s dead now.’ she assured the wolf softly, her lips hovering over top his before she pulled back. 

she almost pulled her dress back up, but she didn’t. she waited as her heart raced against her chest and his lips took her breath away. something exploded in her as she met his lips, arms tangling behind him as she kissed him with a ferocious thirst she hadn’t felt in years. saf didn’t dare move her lips away from his, kissing him deeply until she was out of air, panting as she pulled back and nearly wanting to cry for the sensation. ‘more, sebby. give me more. take me. please take me, i am yours. i have always been yours and i will always be yours.’ she pleaded as she nipped at his lips again, pulling his hands to where her dress pooled around her waist and tugging at it. ‘take me, sebastian. right here, right now. i have waited ten years to know what you feel like. seb, please.’

[fcksafiya]

ladyrydell‌:

“fine, if you say so.” she said, never having had cared much for understanding werewolf culture. she knew enough. “okay?” she said, wondering if the bit of information of her being a beta was at all supposed to mean anything to her. she knew very well what a beta was fine enough. she just didn’t see how that really mattered. “i don’t think i should leave your grey hairs alone. or, hair. now you look like you’ve never had a grey hair at all. you can enjoy the next month or two sans grey hair thanks to me.” she smiled, enjoy the minor upset she had caused. kass merely shrugged at safiya’s valid point. “it’s not like i make it a habit to go near werewolves a lot. maybe you smelled better than the others i’ve come across, i don’t know. besides, i could say the same for you. can’t sniff a vampire out? shocking. and no, i don’t feed on werewolf blood often, either. humans do just fine enough.”

kass didn’t clinch or seem at all surprised when safiya started to get upset yet again. in fact, she found it rather immature. she even looked at saf with such boredom and rolled her eyes. she only momentarily narrowed her eyes at being called obsessive. assassins did need to be a little obsessed with their targets, but sure, whatever. kass pressed her lips together to keep from laughing, even. saf really was challenging her now for a fight outside? it was hilarious. but her smile was gone instantaneously as if she had been smacked when saf brought up their night again and she positively glared at the werewolf with such hatred. “are you done throwing your tantrum? do i really get under your skin that easily? pathetic. and what’s even more pathetic is that you think you know how i felt. you don’t know a damn thing about me, remember? i didn’t even tell you my name. feeling human is something i wouldn’t wish upon my worst enemy. and don’t flatter yourself. i become obsessed with all my targets. you’re nothing special. my telling you of your imminent death was just so you could get your affairs in order but like the other few i’ve been kind enough to warn, you don’t take me seriously and throw a fit. careful now, or you’ll get another couple grey hairs sooner than you should.”

safiya was more annoyed that she was anywhere near upset by the others words. frankly, she always had to much on her time and before being alpha, a lot of her aggression was taken out in fights. a little brawl in the park, roughing up here and there, it was a great way to get the anger she walked with on the daily out of her system. kass was really pushing all the wrong buttons right now, she was really irritating saf. ‘hey, kass my ass.’ she raised a brow, gathering her papers up because she couldn’t stand being here even a second longer. ‘you told me your name, i never asked for your family name. i didn’t tell you mine, did i? i didn’t care, i still don’t care. you’re honestly so much. like i said, you liked feeling human. not remembering the blood sucker you were. you like it just being me and you, feeling like the world was on our side. maybe you were upset that i’d gone in the morning before you even woke up. left you there, sometime during the night. that i didn’t hold you, i didn’t stick around to run my fingers through your hair. and franky? get over it.’ 

of course she was hot headed, no matter how much she’d convinced herself she was a cool alpha, but she wasn’t. she got agitated, and irritated and she short tempered. ‘your target? who ordered you to kill me, my lady? because you deciding you don’t like me walking around isn’t a target. that’s you wanting to commit murder, to which i say.. good luck. i haven’t clawed my way up to be torn down by some punk little vampire who has some weird vendetta against me. and for what? for fucking you nicely? you’re fucking weird. your existence is enough to turn my entire head grey in seconds. so i’ll leave, because you won’t. don’t ever come threaten me again, but hey. wanna fuck again?’ 

[fcksafiya]

sebnavarette‌:

It hurt. Looking at her hurt. Being in the same room as her, feeling her warmth against him as he held her close. Any hope that he had that he had gotten over her in those ten years vanished when he was with her again. That pull of his heart, the lightness of his stomach, the smile that begged to be spread across his features. The ache of it all. Knowing that despite his wishes, she was still the only thing that made sense. Denying himself of her had only ever been a detriment to himself. But Sebastián had never been one to question his parents decisions, even if it meant ruin for himself.

“Should have known better than that,” though there was no reason she could have possibly known that Seb didn’t involve himself as heavily with his parents as he used to. Yes, he still went to family dinners and he still loved them dearly. But when it came to the work of being the heir he would either go to meetings alone or they would come to him afterwards. There was also that fact that his parents would have never let him be at the meeting with Safiya of all people. They had been desperately working on getting a nice Latina girl to be his betrothed so he could continue the bloodline. After he had learned of that decision, he thought it would be best that they weren’t at meetings together any more seeing that they likely wouldn’t arrive to an agreement on things that mattered. He didn’t like arguing or disagreeing with his parents. He was better off muling over the decisions they made and finding ways to bend them to his benefit without outwardly criticizing them.

When he saw Saf perch herself on his desk, it brought back painful memories. All of those times they had found themselves in his study when they managed to sneak away from his siblings. All of the moments where hands lingered a little too long, eyes burned with curiosity for the other, smiles exchanged from their witty banter. It was here they found themselves again, ten years later like strangers. Seb moved over to his desk, sitting down in his chair looking up at her now, noticing the scar along her neck for the first time. He could feel his own neck searing with pain from just looking at it, the same way it felt when that pack meeting had gone wrong. That pack meeting he had no intention of missing until he had. Seb blamed himself for not being there when she needed him the most. Not that it was his fault, nor could it have ever been really. But it was in true Seb fashion that he felt the weight of it all on his shoulders.

His eyes rested on it a little too long and there was a look that splayed over his features that only meant pain. Heartache would have been a better word for it. It had been ten years and there was no way that they could just fall into what they were before then. For the sake of his sanity he wouldn’t allow it. “I know what kind of alpha you are,” he stated confidently. “Far better than anyone that goes to the pack meetings,” he pointed out as he stared blankly ahead. It was the truth. He knew her wit and her passion. He had been a helping hand in refining her talents and seeing her grow first hand. There was not a doubt in his mind that when war came, the whole pack would follow her, and not blindly because she would never give them a reason to believe otherwise. “I’m sure it’s all very exhausting.”

Seb let out a huff before letting his eyes trail up her body to her eyes. “Can we skip this?” he asked her honestly before bringing his hands to his face out of frustration. Not at her though, mostly at himself. “I know you don’t want to waste your time with small talk,” he mumbled through his hands as he shook his head. “I just can’t,” he paused before drawing a breath in. “I can’t be who you want me to be Safi. Not to who I was before.”

‘a girl can dream.’ she said sadly, knowing her dreams were all she had now. dreams were the only memories of seb, of the man she’d loved for as long as she’d known him. it wasn’t always the kind of love they had now, not this unspoken, forbidden love but a familial love. one she couldn’t have imagined her life without but she’d somehow managed to the next ten years without it. all she had to remember him was the kiss they shared on a waning moon eve. little did she know the darkness would stay in her life for a very long time. so long without her moon; without her chand. 

but her dreams didn’t know what the reality would be. his parents had been pushing for a marriage for as long as she could remember, never hard pushing but still. she was worried, she was always fucking worried someone would take him away from her. even if he never did belong to her, they’d never even said they loved each other. but it was there, hanging in the air between them. it’d been there ten years ago and it was here now, if only she’d reach out and grab it. 

her gaze fell from his, just looking down at every inch of him and missing when her hands were everywhere. caressing his cheek, brushing through his curl, fixing his ties... now she didn’t know what to do with them. safiya looked up again to see his eyes on her scar and she lifted her hand to undo the scarf around her neck. not because he’d been staring, but because she wanted to be bare with him. she wanted him to see the best and worst parts of her and everything about today was her worst. she was so selfish today, she was so selfish that she stood up and moved to sit across his lap, her legs hanging off the chair and her arms around his neck, her hands in his hair.

‘it’s ugly, isn’t it? christian says i should embrace it, it’s what made me alpha. that night, that hellish night. it was a pain like no other, seb. i... but i hate it. i hate the way it looks, i wish i didn’t have it. i have more. on my chest, near my heart. he was trying to kill me.’ she whispered it quietly, feeling weak and frail in his arms now but he was the only one who knew her better than anyone. she’d been wanting to talk to him ever since it had happened, even longer but especially since she saw the flower on her doorstep. their poisonous, gorgeous flower. she reached down for his hand and kissed his palm then every single one of his fingers. ‘did it hurt you when you picked it? did you wish i’d been there like you were for me?’ 

safiya had never cried in front of him and now wasn’t the time. she was past crying, she was at the point of desperation. ‘sebastian navarette, i have spent ten years trying to get over you. i spent those ten years convincing myself that there was nothing here. it was in my head, i was a dumb child. none of it is true, all i’m asking for in ten minutes. ten minutes of what could’ve been because i might die if i spend another ten years not seeing you. you have always been the man i care about, you can pretend to be something that you’re not, but you’re still him. i know your virtue, seb. i won’t ask for much, just sit with me. talk to me, you’re my best friend. you’re my chand, it’s been dark for so long. let there be moonlight.’

[fcksafiya]

sebnavarette‌:

With war on their doorstep, days seemed to go on longer. Seb had been spreading himself thin between making sure Mia didn’t get in too over her head and keeping Mateo out of the trouble he always seemed to find himself in. Though, it wasn’t exactly new for Seb considering he had been doing this for the majority of his life. If anyone knew him though, if he wasn’t with his siblings, he spent most of his days locked up in his study. The only two had been home that day were his parents and they never really bothered him. So it was surprise when he heard a knock on the door. 

His head perked up from behind the desk before he started trying to stand up. Only to realize they were going to let themselves in anyways. The voice came first, then the sight of Safiya stepped out from behind the door. Fuck. He knew he had been forgetting something this morning and now he only just realized what that was. The co-alpha was coming over to have a meeting with his parents, one that he was going to try and avoid, but there she was and he had failed to do the only thing he had promised to do for himself that day. It wasn’t unlike him to forget about his needs and his wishes, so it really shouldn’t have come as a surprise that she was standing at the only way to get out of the room. 

“You only gave me a moment,” he looked back down at his papers to mindlessly shuffle them, pretending to go over them so he could avoid eye contact. They hadn’t really had a falling out, in fact it had always been the very opposite of that. It was just too hard to see her in a casual setting after what his parents had decided for him. Reluctantly, he looked back up to her seeing those arms open for him to hug her and he couldn’t help himself. He made his way over to her, wrapping his large arms around her. The closer he got to her, the more he could smell her scent– almost the same intoxicating medley, but somehow stronger. God how she had grown. Changed even for the better. He pulled away, slinking his arms away from her so he wouldn’t get too carried away or show her that he had still been holding onto whatever little thing they had before. 

Scoffing, he shook his head. “I would almost rather not go to the pack meetings. Isn’t it good enough that Luna goes?” he asked before turning back to his desk. “What do you guys even talk about anyways? I imagine it’s just the war these days.”

she’d lost respect for the navarette parents the day everything happened, the worst possible day of her life. all in the course of a day, she had everything and then she was left with nothing. but she never came back on the estate since, not till now. she hadn’t needed to, not after the embarrassment she’d suffered. she missed him though, she missed him every day, with every breath and this opportunity was one she asked christian to come here rather than him. 

just to see him again, see his face. see his smile, those eyes, those lips. by gods, she missed those lips and she’d only kissed them once but she could still feel it on her own now. the ghost of a kiss, the lingering sensation that they could’ve been everything... and now they were nothing. ‘i didn’t want someone to see me.’ she said with a sad smile, knowing it was the cold, harsh truth. it wasn’t right to be here, to hide in his study and want to go back to how they always were. 

i missed you. i miss you so much. she thought, eyes shut as her face tucked into his neck, taking in a deep breath and wanting their moment to just last. last a lifetime, or a few seconds longer. his arms felt the same, warm, big and comforting. a home, a family. so much she’d dreamt about, so much. ‘i half expected to see you at the meeting, sebastian,’ she mused as they pulled away from their embrace and tilted her head up to look at him. 

it was hard to point out that he used to come to all the staff meetings until her attack, then he never came back. safiya knew sebastian well enough to know it wasn’t because he didn’t like that she was alpha, he probably found a way to blame himself. stupid man, but she didn’t want to scare him off. she wanted to talk, just feel normal again. so she sat on his desk, beside his chair and pointed with her eyes for him to join her. ‘it’s not good enough that mia comes, but i do like that she still comes. i wish you’d come. don’t you wonder what kind of alpha i am? would you blindly follow me into battle? yes, a lot of it is the war. we’ve been trying to train our people better. make sure nothing like what happened before happens again. and you, old friend? how have you been?’

[fcksafiya]

@sebnavarette

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