feeling-frazzled

[feeling-frazzled]

Today is #worldsuicidepreventionday . Today is another reminder the importance of being kind to one another and remembering we don’t know what people are going through . Our actions and words can have such a strong affect on someone’s life ... so it’s so important to think before we speak and be more aware of how we treat others. People are fighting battles we don’t know about everyday . In the UK, the suicide rate appears to have risen for the first time since 2013 especially in young men .... this is just heartbreaking . Sometimes when you are so far into the darkness people feel they can’t speak to someone .. if you are reading this today or know of anyone who’s behaviour has changed reach out to someone and talk . There is so much help out there especially online ... @samaritanscharity , @mindcharity , @charitysane , @calmzone , @mentalhealthfoundation are just a few that have helped save so many people’s lives and are there for people who are suffering .. nobody ever has to suffer alone .. everyone deserves a life to be happy and should never ever feel a burden ... depression is such a horrendous disease and is a serious illness and it still isn’t taken as serious as physical health ... it is getting better but we have a long way to go and that’s why days like today raising more awareness are so so important 💛 🌈🌈! #mentalhealth #depression #mentalhealthsupport #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety

[feeling-frazzled]

social media v real life

Hiyaaaaa peeps ! Sorry I haven’t posted on my blog in a while I have been doing a lot more on Instagram lately and doing more posts on there and didn’t mean to neglect my blog !! Instagram seems to be people’s go to place now !! I hope some of you will click and read this anyway 😊💛

I’m going to talk today about Social media V real life ... I’m sure a lot of you have read a lot on this as it’s spoken about a lot but I wanted to share my own thoughts on it ... I love social media ... I enjoy sharing content , creating content and I love my job in marketing ... it’s definitely something I’ve wanted to do since I was small and although many of you will think “ but there was no social media in those days “ haha which you are right but there was other signs that I was called to do PR . My dad told me I would be obsessed with taking pictures on his camera and his video camera he had ... I used to apparently steal all his tapes ( yes tapes ) and tape songs and radio shows off the radio . I created my own magazines where I used to cut out pictures from newspapers and write about stuff and I used to record a lot of family days with my cousins by using a tape recorder . After that “ my space “ came along ( some may know ) a blogging website where people added their lives and music etc ... then “ Bebo “ came and I was just hooked . Also when I started going out on nights out I would bring a camera ( no smart phones in those days hahaha ) and take photos of the whole night and everyone just loved my pics as nobody else did it haha !! So much fun ! Anyway I think you get the jist how much I love the whole online vibe !! One thing I will say is back then I didn’t take it all so seriously ... it’s not how it is nowadays and I do struggle with it even though I love it . This is why I have started to take time out away from my phone . Now this is easier said than done 😂 .... but last week I had a really bad anxious weekend ... I had real moments of self loathing , worthlessness , fear , not feeling good enough . I’m not blaming social media for this but scrolling on Instagram in that state was not ideal . So my sister came down and said right let’s go for a walk WITHOUT our phones and clear our heads . I thought she was effing mad 😂 but I agreed and you know what it was the best 3 hours I’ve spent in ages . We talked and engaged more with each other and I felt a real peace .

I don’t know about anyone else but I suffer from FOMO with social media . I get worried if I leave my phone for long periods of time I will miss out on something . I’m not even joking it’s insane how I think . When I got back from that 3hour walk I did have that sudden omg what have I missed and guess what ? I missed nothing . It’s just fear and anxiety making me feel like that . I don’t feel like that all the time but it did hit me that I do need to take time away from it and relax . I actually really want to go away for a few days and not use my phone as I hear people doing lately . Again I read that on Instagram 😂😂 . It’s so important though because our brains sometimes can’t cope with the over load . If you are having a shit day and wishing you were on holiday and then you go on Instagram and see pics of people on holiday you are just going to feel like absolute shit . That doesn’t mean the person posting has done anything wrong it just wasn’t the right time for you to see it . It’s the same way if you are feeling really low and Shitty the last thing you should ever do is have alcohol . It’s the same with social media .

Instagram detoxing as I’m gonna call it has to be done also so you can experience real life better . I really have made a conscious decision to be more engaged when I am with my friends or family now . I love of course to take a few photos when I see them but there is nothing better than real life interaction and conversations . Sometimes I see people in restaurants and on nights out just with their phones out not even talking to each other and then just taking insta stories and you do think it’s so sad that we have got to that stage . Enjoy sharing content but don’t let it take over your whole life . Check back in with yourself now and again , spend time in nature , go to exercise classes , meditate , cooking , go to the cinema !Whatever makes you feel good . Another tip if you are like me and have half your exercise and meditation apps on your phone ... put your phone to “ do not disturb mode “ and that way you will not be disturbed with messages coming through etc .

Thank you so much for reading this ... I hope it’s helped anyone who feels the same . Anxiety is a bloody nightmare and I have to work so so hard on myself every day and battle through the day so I have to over think and help myself with everything and I’m sure that’s the same for a lot of you to . If only we could turn off our fucking Brains ehhhh ?

Big hugs and message me if this resonates with you I will do a post on insta to ( of course 😂) lots of love 💛🌈💛🌈💛🌈

[feeling-frazzled]

Change

Hiya 💛🌈🌈 hope you are all well ! I haven’t been posting as much lately as I have been using Instagram more instead and as I always say I always wait to do a blog post when I am inspired to write something from my heart and today that has happened :) ! I’ve been in a strange head space lately ... well for a while now which is why I want to talk about it today :) ! Saying that I feel like I am in a good place with my mental health because of all the work I put in to help myself . I eat better , exercise , meditate everyday , yoga , zumba , walking , self care days and I’ve even been on a wellness weekend lately ! I no longer have therapy sessions as I felt I got all I could out of them ( for now ) and I am no longer on medication . Saying that .. that doesn’t mean everything is perfect ... far from it . I still battle every day to face the days .. I put so much strength into it and sometimes I genuinely don’t know where I get my strength from .

This post is about change and the changes that have happened in my life the past year . The past year I feel I have changed a lot in terms of my priorities . I would much rather be going for brunches , doing yoga or out for an early morning walk on a Sunday morning rather than being hungover in bed . I much prefer doing stuff during the day to the middle of the night now , I dont drink anywhere near as much as I used to and I prefer being around nature than being in nightclubs . The thing is because of this change I feel like I am doing something wrong . I feel like I shouldn’t be feeling like this and I feel guilty . At the weekend something hit me massively .. I do not have to explain myself to anyone .. I have every right to make these changes for me and no one else . I also have realised I need to be around people who understand that . I can’t put into words the toxic friendships I have had . People who just didn’t make me feel good about myself , who didn’t support me , didn’t have my best interests at heart and tbh made me feel so guilty about the changes in my life and also belittled it . London can be a very lonely place and I felt myself sticking with people due to not wanting to be alone .. but what I’ve realised is you can be just as lonely being around the wrong people as much as being on your own . My change should be about me and no one else . I’ve had to put my mental health as my top priority and yes maybe I do bang on about it a bit too much but i have to for my own self . I’m proud I speak out about it and talk so openly about it as it’s not bloody easy . I’m glad me speaking out can hopefully help others to feel less alone . Social media has been so amazing for my mental health as it’s helped me connect with like minded people and I have met some amazing people online . Never be afraid to message me on Instagram if you ever feel alone and would like a chat ... I love meeting and talking to new people and love hearing about people’s lives . I could listen to people’s stories all day long 💛 .

Thank you for reading this today and if you feel you connected with what I am saying feel free to share this 💛 . If you are going through changes make sure it feels right for you and no one else ... never feel guilty for wanting to do what’s best for you . Nobody has any right to question that and also remember to surround yourself with people who truly understand and care and support you .. if you like me have been struggling with that lately try and realise your own worth . Clear outs in real life are necessary to .. we are worth so much more than toxic friendships and people . Get out while you can and start getting treated and supported how you effing deserve ! Big hugs Zoë 💛🌈💛xxx

[feeling-frazzled]

Happy place

Hey guys ! Just a little post as i haven’t posted in a while !! I went home for Easter back to Ireland and felt it was good to take some time out to relax , EAT ( my god did I eat 😂) and to just recharge . Things had gotten a bit stressful in London just with work and life as it can do for all of us which is why it’s important to take some time to get away . I fancied somewhere a bit hotter but because I don’t see my family a lot living over the water I have to make the choice of seeing them when I can . Easter is always nice to be around family anyway :) !

One of the things I do every time I am home is go to the beach ... probably the most peaceful place on earth ( for me anyway ) I feel so happy when I am there and just free . My dad drove us to so many beaches on Easter Monday and again on Easter Tuesday . I don’t think I appreciated how beautiful Ireland is when I lived there . We have probably the best beaches I’ve ever seen , so so beautiful . I felt walking along the beaches that I let go of a lot of negativity that’s been surrounding me lately ... toxic friendships , work stress , anxiety , family stuff . It doesn’t make it disappear forever of course but it does bring you to some sort of peace in your mind and you feel like you have more control over it . When you look after your mind the more you are able to help control your thoughts . I am positive about 90 percent of the time but of course it’s impossible to stay positive 24/7 ... I find people who pretend they are are lying to you and themselves ... we ALL get shit days . I try to be as real as possible on my social media and usually would say if I’m having a low day or shit week .. that doesn’t mean I’m being negative I’m just basically letting people know that it’s OK . I like posting a lot of quotes so I usually post quotes depending on my mood and how I am feeling in that moment ... so it can be obvious how I’m feeling . This helps me and I hope it can help others to . All I want is to share my stories and experiences and help others as well as helping myself to . Magical things can happen when we start to support one another ... I find social media amazing for that . We still have along way to go with mental health awareness ... we definitely have come a really long way but there is still so much stigma still attached to it . I still don’t find it easy talking so open about it and sometimes I ask myself “ do I share too much ?” Sometimes I feel so vulnerable posting up but deep down I know it’s the best thing as I know it can help others as well as helping me to . The important thing is if it feels right which it does but it’s still not easy .

anyway just a quick little post today ! I will be doing another post which will be an emotional one ... it’s going to be all about my granny and her early stages of dementia . So keep an eye out for that one as Itl be hard to write but I want to bring awareness 💛💛 ! Happy bank holiday weekend !

Thank you for reading .. Lots of love Zoë xxxxxx 💛💜💛

[feeling-frazzled]

SOCIAL ANXIETY

Hiya 💛 ! I haven’t posted in a while as I have been having a bit of a break and as people know who regularly read my blog I only like to post when I feel passionately about a topic instead of just writing something for the sake of it as I want these posts to be as real as possible and from my heart !! Sometimes my brain can be so full of ideas and full of stuff to say and write but I just can’t seem to sit down and focus to write it . I do get anxious about sharing too much and I do sometimes think why do I write these blogs BUT that feeling does pass and I do think well actually I write these because it helps me for one and it also keeps the mental health conversation going ... if I can help one person then this is al worth while . I just want to help people and make them feel less alone and it makes me feel less alone to .

Today I want to talk about something I’ve been experiencing lately which is “ social anxiety “ . This is something I don’t think I’ve ever experienced because I am such a sociable butterfly and I love socialising . At the beginning of the year I had some bad news in my family and I also decided to do dry January . Dry January had a huge effect on me because I felt so much better and I felt my mind and my anxiety was in a better place ... I don’t want to be Tee total so I made a conscious decision that I would only drink once or twice a month, so maybe one night out a month and I have stuck to that which I am super proud of . I went out on Saturday past and yes I had a few but I wasn’t completely pissed but the effects the next day are the lack of sleep and the food I then binge into my body . That is actually the side to nights out I HATE . I don’t know about anyone else but when I get less than 6 hours sleep my body is just so anxious I find it quite hard to function . This is why I have to cut back on nights out . Since cutting back I do feel like I am not as sociable . Unfortunately so much of society is about going out . I go to exercise classes Zumba and yoga and that is a great hobby as it is great for your social life as well as helping your mind body and soul 💛 ! I make a concious decision to meet people for coffees during the week or brunches at the weekend and I do spend a lot of time with my sister . I think what happened the past few months was because I cut back on drinking and going out I felt very flat and not really knowing what to do with myself because let’s face it what else do single young people do at the weekends ? That’s the thing I’m single which makes it even worse being in the dating world which I am doing a whole separate blog post on after I finish this one so stay tuned for that one !!!! So I sat and thought to myself let’s start doing other things ... so I signed up to a mindfulness class which I do every week , which has been fab and I’ve met some lovely like minded people :) .. it’s nice to do something after work and feel completely ZEN 💛 ! It’s taking time to build my confidence and self worth back up again ... I think I lost a bit of myself when I made all these changes and just didn’t know who I was for a while, well actually I did know I just felt like I always had to explain myself to everyone which I now know I dont . I’ve also realised it’s ok to be on your own but to not get lost in it . I think my anxiety sometimes can tell me I don’t need anyone and I am better off alone and I am invisible and worthless to everyone . It’s not a nice feeling . I’ve got to stay positive and count my blessings but I am also allowed to say that life can be f***ing shit sometimes to ! So be kind to people as you don’t know what anyone is going through , don’t be judgemental about people’s lives , follow kind people on Instagram and compliment them once and a while , support people , support your friends and most of all be kind to yourself . When we build each other up it also helps us to !! Big hugs Zoë 💛💛 xxxxxx

Ps : follow my mental health insta account for lots of updates and support :) - Instagram.com/feeling.frazzled xx

[feeling-frazzled]

SELF LOVE

Today I want to talk about self love . It’s something we do hear a lot isn’t it ? Especially these days on Instagram . One of my main goals in 2019 was to focus on it and learn . It may sound simple “ just love yourself , just take more time for yourself “ but trust me it’s not as easy as it may sound . I’ve been focusing on it a lot the past couple of months and I make sure I do something kind for myself at least once a day . Even if it’s something small like making myself a cup of tea . I’ve been doing a lot of self love meditations, reading books and following some inspirational people on Instagram for guidance and it’s really helping BUT it’s still tough . I find it quite difficult to say “ I love myself “ even reading that I cringe a bit . It’s not that I don’t like who I am because I do think I’m a good person , I try to treat others how I would want to be treated , I’m kind to others and I’m very loyal and caring to the people in my life . Even writing those sort of things I used to feel a bit “ bigheaded “ but it’s OK to say nice things about yourself . It just takes a lot of time to get there . Self love for me is giving yourself the same kindness and care you give to others, it’s believing your worth and knowing what you want out of your own life , friendship, work , family , relationship’s . It’s having that self acceptance for yourself and being confident enough to say this is who I am . As I’ve gotten older I’ve really started to appreciate myself a lot more and definitely be more sure of myself . Saying all that I believe self love and care is mostly about making sure you take a break for yourself when things get bloody tough ! It’s about being able to say no to things and being ok about it . It’s allowing yourself to feel how you feel the good and the bad , it’s about being able to ask for help around you... reaching out to friends and family. It’s about recognising what is good and what is bad for your mental health . I have cut down on alcohol , I have been spending much more time in nature and it has made all the difference for me . I still love a good piss up now and again but I’ve only had a few drinks for my birthday since Christmas and it’s felt bloody fantastic ! I no longer dread the weekend mornings ...I am able to now say no to nights out if I feel I don’t want to go . The people in my life have all been amazing bar maybe one or two but I’ve realised they aren’t worth it !! If someone questions why you are doing things in a negative way and doesn’t support you and be there for you then what is the point ? You need to be around people who truly have your best interest at heart , people who when you say I’m struggling they say “ I’ve got you “ or people who just listen . Even people who are reading this right now ... thank you !!! Never underestimate the power of kindness from strangers and I’ve really learnt that !! I have some lovely people who follow me on Instagram who I’ve never met but support me in everything I do and I am so grateful for that , it means the world to me . This is why social media brings me so much joy . I unfollowed all the negative pages that didn’t make me feel good about myself and just now follow people who inspire me and teach me . Honestly give your social media a clear out it’s the best thing I’ve ever done !! Thank you so much for reading 💛🌈🥰 big hugs as always Zoë xxxx

[feeling-frazzled]

Hey depression

Heyy everyone ... I’ve been a bit quiet lately and haven’t been doing many posts ... Just due to I haven’t felt motivated enough to write one . As I always say I only write a post when I feel inspired to do one to make them as real as possible ... I never write a post for the sake of writing one . That’s why I never commit to doing weekly blogs because I felt sometimes I forced myself to write one and I always want what I say to come from my heart .

The title of this probably has given you an idea of what I’m going to talk about today . That big black cloud that some of us call depression has come back lately and I can’t seem to shift it ! He comes with me every where ... to work , to the shop, to the shower , to bed , when I’m out with my friends ... everywhere . It’s very draining . The type of depression that I have is it can go away for weeks and then just hit me like I’ve been smacked In the fucking face . There doesn’t even have to be any kind of triggers it just comes . Sometimes it stays for a few hours , a few days or a few weeks but this time its been with me for about a month now . I’ve lost so much energy and motivation to do things and been spending a lot of time on my own . It’s been hard . Saying that I still continue to go to work and work hard and try to stay in high spirits . But I just feel so low 90 percent of the time at the minute . I’m doing all I can to get through this .. I’m still seeing my councillor which has been amazing , I have started another mindfulness course which has been amazing to , meditation has helped me get through a lot of really tough times especially with my anxiety, it’s my medicine. Exercise and cooking helps me a lot to ! ! When I say exercise I don’t go to the gym it’s not my thing but I enjoy some classes ! I do a lot of exercise in my house I found this app called “ FIIT “ which has so many different classes on it .. yoga , breathing classes , cardio ... so much !! Really recommend it ! I do a lot of walking to . I try everyday to stay positive because if I let depression take over I’ll just not get anywhere will I ? It’s fucking shite . Sorry to be blunt but it is . I just felt I wanted to talk about this as it’s ok to say you aren’t ok ... well I am ok but I just struggle and it is a daily battle . I’m not saying my life is shit because it’s not ... I feel grateful every day for so much but I think what’s happened is so much has happened in the past few months and I think everything has just finally hit me at once . Just a lot I’ve had to deal with personally , a lot of changes in my life , losing friendships and just coming to terms with my granny’s dementia .. and so much more that I don’t really wanna discuss now . We all have shit to deal with and it’s just so important to talk about it . Find people who understand it and listen and talk . I can’t express how important that is . I also just want to thank anyone who’s shown me kindness lately either in real life , social media .. anything . It has meant more to me than you will ever know . I’ll continue to fight this and hopefully I’ll be ok again soon. Depression comes and goes with me when life gets really tough and stressful . What I always hold on to is that this feeling does eventually pass and I hold on to the days where I feel happy inside which believe it or not can still happen when suffering with depression . I think a lot of people think that depression is sitting around crying all day in a dark room ( sometimes this is the case ) but you can still laugh and enjoy your self to . I still howl with laughter pretty much every day and whoever can make me laugh especially lately I really thank you for that because it makes my days all that little bit easier !!! Thank you so much for taking the time to read this ... it means the world and please share it with anyone you think it might help ! Here’s to staying positive and battling through life one day at a time .... we got this 😘😊😊💛🌈🌈 Zoë xxxxx

[feeling-frazzled]

New year same me

Heeeeiii everyone 🌈

First blog post this year as I decided to have a little bit of a breather since Christmas. I am one of those weird people who actually likes January 🤪 I always look at it as a fresh beginning ... every New Year’s Day I always sit and make a goal list of my life goals I would like to achieve that year.

I’m still the same person but there are things I would like to do to better my health and better my mind . So I am currently doing dry jan and I know so many people say “ what’s the point “ and kind of Belittle it and tbh I used to be one of those people and I do remember doing it a couple of years ago and thinking “ what’s the point in this “ but this year I feel very differently. Everyday I battle my way through my thoughts due to anxiety and my depression . I do so much to help myself through , talking , doing this blog , doing my insta posts on my “ feeling frazzled account “ , reading lots of mental health books , mindfulness , meditation , writing a journal , walking , exercise , eating healthy .. you get the jist ....but one thing I never gave up was alcohol . Now those who know me know I love a drink and know it’s a huge part of my character .. I’m not a heavy drinker ( anymore ) but I would buy a bottle maybe two a week and have a few glasses throughout the week but mostly the weekend . I don’t drink everyday or anything but I would get to Thursday ( thirsty Thursdays as I always call it ) have a couple .. same throughout the weekend . Like even on a Sunday I couldn’t cook a roast without having a glass of red with it !! It’s minor I know but I always feel it the next day even if it’s only two glasses and I feel it with my anxiety . Over Christmas I met up with one of my best friends and we went for dinner and then had a few gins and I woke up the next day feeling so horrific with anxiety ... and that’s when I said I just need a break this feeling isn’t worth it at all . That’s only really when I drink to access like that night I had had a glass of red , about 4 gins and a couple of espresso martinis ... I don’t usually drink that much tbf but it did make me question why do I make myself more and more anxious . I’m quite an outgoing girl and don’t need alcohol to have fun or anything but it’s just automatic isn’t it ? To be honest I think it’s just habit .. and don’t get me wrong I love going for dinner and really nice bars . I don’t do nightclubs anymore due to getting spiked very badly over a year ago and it really terrified me and it still does . I have had to have counselling to help me through it as I still get flashbacks but I definitely am in a better place . The world is fucking scary .

Anyway I got recommended a book called “ the unexpected joy of being sober “ when I read the cover my first thought was “ I hope this isn’t going to brainwash me into stopping drinking “ but it was not like that at all it was so raw and has made me think so much about myself . I related to some of the stuff in it as I do believe I did have an alcoholic period in my life where I was drinking far too much . I’m not an alcoholic but I do believe we can all have periods in our life where alcohol can take over. Just some of her stories really haunted me as I have gotten myself into really bad situations being so off my face . I’ve been barred from clubs , I’ve fallen asleep in club toilets , I’ve had my stomach pumped by paramedics on nights out , I’ve broken bones ... yeah this was all years ago but when I read this book all these flash backs came flooding back and I felt so ashamed of myself . I know we grow as we get older and we are “ older and wiser “ blah blah but I do think back and just wish I could tell that person I was it wasn’t the answer . I don’t regret anything ... of course I wish some things didn’t happen but I believe it has shaped me into the woman I am today . I got diagnosed with depression a couple of years ago but looking back to what I was like growing up in my early twenties especially I just wasn’t right . It was more than just having fun on a night out I was clearly deeply unhappy .

Anyway the point of this post is dry jan has been more of a health reason for me to see how clear my mind can be without it and to see if it eases my anxiety ...I am now 18 days in and I am feeling more energised and clear headed . I’m still anxious of course but it does feel different . It’s my birthday at the beginning of February and I’ve decided to wait and not have a drink until then .. and then after that I am just going to see how I go. I’m not saying I’m given it up forever because I don’t feel I need to do that but reading that book has definitely made me want to cut down massively . It’s like last night it was the first time I’d craved a drink since I started dry jan and when I actually thought about it .. I was feeling low and the drink would of just made me worse ... sure enough the feeling passed and I had a cuppa ! It’s little changes like that I would like to take on board for the future !! Also the book speaks so much on not having to rely on drink to have fun and bring you all the joys of life ... I want to work on that and realise that i don’t always need a drink to have fun .. !!

Other life goals I’ve made this year are moving more ... using my Fitbit as a motivator . Learning to cook more dishes as I sometimes get trapped in cooking the same things every week so I want to grow more with that . Meditate every day which I mostly do anyway but I want to make sure I stick to it as it really does help me and I notice when I haven’t meditated as I am more irritable . Small changes create big things ... looking after my mind is definitely my main priority..... so many of us tend to worry more about what we look like rather than focus on the real problem .. our thoughts !!

Anyway I’ve rambled on a lot now haha ! I hope this has helped and let me know what you think you can dm me on insta or Twitter and I love hearing back from people it really helps me and gives me so much strength . It’s not easy writing these blogs but I want to raise as much awareness for mental health as possible and help as many people as I can a well as helping myself !!

My insta where I post a lot on mental health is instagram.com/feeling.frazzled 😘🌈🌈 lots of love xxxxxx

[feeling-frazzled]

Christmas stress 🎄

Heeeyyyyy everyone ! So Christmas is certainly upon us with only just over a week to go until the actual day !! So this week for many of us will be the week we start panicking, binge eating and drinking lots of mulled wine and drinking baileys in gallons ! For me the binge eating has definitely begun .. I’m currently sitting eating chocolate pretzels after just eating a reindeer Krispy creme doughnut ... but as everyone seems to be saying “ it’s Christmas just eat it “ ok then ! Haha !

Anyway for so many of us Christmas can also be tough ! As much as I love it it does provide so much stress ! Most of us get stressed all year round but Christmas is just that whole new level of stress isn’t it ?! We are worried about getting everything perfect ! We all have this idea in our heads of what we want Christmas to be and what we want it to look like ! ! You know what I think ? I think we all need to give ourselves a bloody break ! Nobody gets it perfect all we can actually do is just do our best ! ! Things will mess up but it’s not the end of the world even if it might seem like it is at the time ! Easier said than done I know ! What gets me through stress normally is thinking about worst case scenarios ... so I think about what I am stressing about then I start asking myself “ what would be the worst possible outcome “ and when I think about it like that it nearly always helps me calm down !!

My biggest worry this year is hoping that my granny has a good day because as I have spoken out about before she got diagnosed with dementia. It’s very very early stages so she knows exactly what’s going on , what day it is and who we all are and that’s what’s keeping me going . So many people have loved ones who suffer from many illnesses and it’s a lot worse . Also my heart goes out to people who have lost someone close to them this year . This time of year especially can make people miss people even more and it can be a very painful time . For our family we always talk about the people we have lost at Christmas and even do a toast for them ... it’s so important to talk about them and it does make things easier :) ! So that’s why even though I am stressed about things especially my granny I try to remain positive and think of all the good things ... I feel blessed we still have her with us at 94 years old !! 💛💛

I also want to touch on loneliness... If anyone is reading this and you are on your own at Christmas my heart goes out to you and I am sending you so much love !! If anyone knows of anyone who is going to be on their own ... try and reach out to them .. i don’t think anyone should be alone at Christmas it doesn’t sit right with me :( !! It puts a lot of things into perspective !!

Sending love to everyone else who is feeling a bit shit and stressed right now ... as I’ve spoken about before ... try some meditation 🧘🏻‍♀️ , listen to some calming music and just remember to look after yourself . You are only one person and you can’t do everything 💛 ! Have a cuppa tea and a mince pie and watch a Christmassy movie on the telly ... 😘🥰⭐️🤗🎄💃🏻🌈

Happy Christmas everyone ! Big hugs and kisses Zoë xxxxxx

[feeling-frazzled]

Mental health at Christmas

Heyaaaaaa everyone ! Been a little while since I last posted but as I always say I only post when I feel inspired and when I have something in my heart to talk about as I want these posts to be as real as possible and I don’t just like writing for the sake of it :) ! This week I’m going to talk about my favourite time of year .. C H R I ST M AS 🥰 ! If you love or hate it let’s face it there is no getting away from it ! It’s everywhere and it’s only November !! I know how hard it can be for people at this time of year especially people who suffer from any kind of mental health issues !! I find it quite hard even though I am a huge Christmas person !! I already have some of my dec’s up and it feels so nice 🎄 ! I get the best of both worlds as I get to put up my own dec’s and then I get to go home to my family home for Christmas and it’s always so lovely decorated 💃🏻💃🏻

Anyway I wanted to talk about how my mental health can really struggle around this time of year even though I’m a huge Christmas person . It’s probably one of the most challenging times of the year because everyone expects you to be happy especially on the actually day !! The trouble is with people who suffer from depression or anxiety or both is that we don’t know how we are going to feel day to day and just because it’s Christmas Day doesn’t mean my depression or anxiety will just not be there . So that’s bloody difficult . I feel very grateful that I have some control over my mental health and I have been able to get help with CBT , counselling and mindfulness courses . I feel very lucky that I can do all that because I know it’s not so easy for everyone . I can only speak on my own experiences and help in the best way I can . My advice to get through Christmas if you suffer with your mental health is to not put pressure on yourself , don’t make yourself “ be happy “ don’t force yourself to be anything other than how you feel . If you are with family or friends let one of them know how you feel that day and Hopfully they will understand and not put any pressure on you either . I remember a couple of Christmas’s ago I had extremely low anxiety .. I didn’t know how I was going to get through the day and it was because I had put so much pressure on myself for weeks before so it triggered my anxiety in a big way . I managed to get through the day with plenty of deep breaths !! Through my CBT councelling I have learnt so much on ways to deal with anxiety .. so now I have plenty of ways to help me when I am feeling extremely anxious . So now when I wake up and I know it’s going to be “ one of those days “ I prepare myself and ACCEPT it and do everything I can to help with all I have learnt . I start the day with some breathing exercises / meditation sessions ! Just using some apps on my phone !! A cup of tea or hot water and Lemon ( I usually have both ) and this really relaxes me and starts my day off . Christmas will be no different .

Depression is a tough one to deal with especially at Christmas . For me when I’m feeling really low all I want to do is be on my own wrapped up in a blanket . The thing is and this is just how I cope with it ... I accept that I am feeling this low and push myself .. I sometimes don’t know where and how I get my strength from because it’s so so difficult to motivate yourself in such a low state . I used to just call in sick as soon as I felt low, hide away and not face this was part of me . The past year or two I have faced it head on and accepted this is happening and that I will have my good and bad days . When I get my good days I hold on to that feeling and it gives me so much hope that I have these days so when I do have my bad days and extreme low days I always know the sun will shine again . A lot of people say time is a great healer ... I don’t think that’s true I think things get easier but you just learn to deal with it and accept it ... but my depression is still the same . It’s how you deal with it and how you react to it . So if I wake up on Christmas morning and I feel my depression trying to take over my day I will not let it defeat me . I will take it one minute at a time and push myself . That doesn’t mean I will force myself “ to be happy “ happy is the most over used and overrated word ... it adds too much pressure to people ! Just feel how you feel don’t let anyone tell you you have to be happy . I will just take Christmas slow and enjoy it at my own pace .. that’s all we can do . If you have kids concentrate on them for the day ... seeing their faces opening their presents must be such a wonderful feeling 🎁🥰 !! I don’t have kids ( yet 😜 ) but I always concentrate on the look on my granny’s face when I give her her gift and my sister , brother , dad etc !! I also concentrate on the cooking as it’s my favourite thing to do when I am stressed so what better way to help me through Christmas :) !! That’s what Christmas is about really .. being surrounded by love , food and family 💛

I hope this post has helped if anyone is stressed and worrying .. I know it can’t stop the worry completely we are all only human and I can only advise on what I do for me and I know it might not work for everyone. I really recommend mindfulness / meditation ... if you haven’t yet tried it . It’s a game changer for me and has changed my life . There are so many books .. I recommend all ruby wax book’s her books changed everything for me .. she knows her stuff !! Another book I got called “ I am here now “ by the mindfulness project .. it has so many exercises in it as well ... bloody amazing !! Also follow russel brand on insta .. he does lots of little videos speaking so much on mental health , gratitude and a lot of mindfulness stuff . He’s great and helps me a lot !! There are lots of other books that I will recommend in some more posts .. I’ll post some up ! Oh and one more thing ... if you want some motivational positive quotes ... I found this amazing girl on insta called “ morgan harper nichols “ ... her quotes help me a lot so I would follow her if you want a little lift throughout the day :) !!

Lots of love and thank you so much for reading ! Big hugs Zoë xxx 🥰💛

[feeling-frazzled]

A star is born

So I think by now you will of heard people talking about the latest movie “ a star is born “ it seems to be everyone is talking about it right now and it seems to have affected a lot of us .

Since seeing it I have felt a numbness inside of me ... I havent stopped thinking about it ... I have never had a movie affect me as much . I think so many of us will relate to it for different reasons ... for me it was the mental health side and *spoiler alert * ... the suicide that affected me the most . Throughout the film you watch this man ( Bradley cooper ) struggle with his mental health and it’s clear he has an addiction to alcohol from the very beginning as you see him come off stage and straight to the bottle inside his car then on to a bar . A talented musician who meets someone who he instantly ( in my opinion ) fell in love with ( Lady Gaga) . Watching their relationship in the film made me cry a lot , the way he was with her , the way he treated and looks at her and how he stood back and let her be a star on stage and was so genuinely happy for her success . It was done in such a none cheesy way it just felt so so real , the chemistry between them was electrifying. You could feel it .

I thought this movie showed depression for what it is .. it showed that it doesn’t matter who you are , what you do , how much you have , how successful you are .. how much support you have .. it can still happen . Seeing Bradley’s character in rehab and sober made me cry in the cinema ... he looked so fresh but you could still see he was so sad . Addiction is such a horrifying disease along with depression and it breaks my heart the amount of people who suffer from one of them or both of them . I suffer from depression and I find that bad enough but along with addiction i can’t imagine how that must feel inside . I do think this film brings so much awareness especially for men . Men find it even more hard to speak out as in a lot of ways they aren’t as emotional as us women are . I hope this movie encourages people especially men who are suffering that it’s important to talk and speak out about your feelings .

The suicide in the movie made me so numb I couldn’t get out of my seat at the end , my sis has to literally pull me up I was numb . I haven’t cried like that in the cinema ever . I knew before I went he commits suicide but I was interested to know what the trigger was so I was watching clearly . Those of us who suffer from depression will know that it can take any small trigger to make us react and get deeply upset .. which is why I always say it’s so important to be kind to people because you don’t know how your words can affect people . The bit in the film that I saw was the trigger for Bradley’s character was the manager of Lady gaga’S character ... he said to him he was going to hold her back and Bradley was sipping water ( having just come out of rehab ) and this manager made a comment that it was only a matter of time before he went back to the alcohol . Again this scene is so so important because it shows that being unkind triggered his decision to kill himself .. he was fragile and it took those unkind negative words to finalise his decision . We need to be kind to people and be so aware of our words .. And we shouldn’t judge people who are using things like alcohol and drugs to self medicate .. we need to look at the reasons behind it and support them ..

The scene when they were both lying in bed and you can feel he was saying goodbye to her in his own way completely broke my heart . I just wanted to jump through the screen and hug him tight and tell him he is important and worth it and his life is worth living for . Depression is a horror ..

I have had two people in my life who have committed suicide due to drugs and alcohol . ( both Male ) It’s something you never ever get over .. I can’t really explain the feeling . You do blame yourself for a while but it’s nobody’s fault ... it’s not selfish .. it’s depression , it’s sadness , it’s thinking you have no reason to be alive and it’s thinking you are a burden to everyone around you .

Thank you so much for reading this and please share and send to anyone you think this might help ...

I want to send so much love, hugs and kisses to anyone Reading this who is suffering , who has ever suffered or knows someone who is suffering . I want you all to know .. you are worth it , you are important and there is help out there . The Samaritans are amazing and always there to help . There is so much help online and please talk to someone . Don’t feel embarrassed , don’t feel it isn’t important. The most important thing in life is how you feel and looking after yourself . I know I say it a lot but self love and care is the most important thing .. 💛💛 . Also please go see a star is born it’s truly the most beautiful film even though it’s upsetting and it’s really really important xx

Al my love as always

Zoë xxxxx

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zoe_agnew_ and feeling.frazzled xx

[feeling-frazzled]

dementia

Hey 💛... I decided to write a little post this week on something a little bit different . It’s something that’s been affecting me a lot so I thought I would share with you . My granny is the closest person to me in my life ... she’s not just my granny but she has been a mum to me . That aside .. my granny has been there for me in the good and bad times .. always a shoulder to cry on .. a phone call away when I need her .. there to support me in all aspects of my life . Unfortunately my granny now has the early stages of dementia. At first I didn’t notice it .. I just noticed her repeating herself a lot but i never thought it was as serious as dementia. I think in a lot of ways I just didn’t want to face the fact she had it . It took close family sitting me down and telling me this is getting serious . I tell my granny everything and when my family told me I couldn’t do this anymore I started to crumble a bit . Even now writing this I am welling up because my heart is actually broken . She was the person I turned to for everything , she lifted me up when I felt I couldn’t go on and has been a huge support to me with my mental health , she understood it . I have felt a bit lost lately ... of course I have such amazing friends , sister , brother , dad and cousins and aunties and uncles but granny was the person who was my comfort blanket . Living in London has made it harder as I don’t get to see her as often .. when I do see her she is still the same with me .. her dementia is the early stages so she’s only at the stage where she is repeating herself a bit but I know she is getting worse . My family are dealing with it but it’s really really difficult . She is the most remarkable woman , she is my absolute hero and I am so proud of her ... her husband ( my grandad ) died 8 years ago and she has had a broken heart since and she told me it hasn’t got any easier missing him . I’ve never seen a couple more in love 😍 !! I’m not saying that started her dementia but it hasn’t helped with her living on her own for so long but to still be going strong at 93 is pretty damn amazing !!

I wanted to share my story with you to raise some awareness for dementia and if anyone has any stories they would like to share or any advice I would really appreciate that . Thank you so much for reading this 💛💛💛

Lots of love

Zoë

I also have an Instagram page where I post a lot about my blogs and about mental health and lots of positive things and quotes so If you are on there please follow :) .. https://www.instagram.com/feeling.frazzled/

[feeling-frazzled]

World mental health day 🌈

I wrote this little piece for #worldmentalhealthday .. I hope it helps some of you 💛

Somedays are harder than others . Some days are fine . Some days I push myself to get up. Some days I hop out of bed . Somedays I smile all day . Some days I have to fake the smile . Somedays I want to be alone . Somedays I want to socialise . Somedays I want to give up . Somedays i keep fighting . Somedays I want to go out and get drunk . Some days I want to be alone on my sofa . Somedays I laugh all day . Somedays I cry all day .

Somedays depression and anxiety get so unbearable and dark that I don’t see a way out of it . Somedays depression and anxiety can make me stronger as a person . Somedays I can’t eat . Somedays I binge all day . Somedays I want to be alone and not see or talk to anyone . Somedays i want nothing but hugs and laughter and love from people . Somedays I question why I have to go through this . Somedays I realise it’s just one part of me . Somedays I hold on to hope . Somedays I lose that hope . Somedays at work are long . Somedays at work are short . Somedays are important like today ... #worldmentalhealth day is important because it brings awareness .. it gets people talking and it can make people realise they aren’t alone in their suffering . It can show people how to support a loved one who’s suffering also ..as we sometimes forget they can suffer to . It’s not easy for anyone who suffers and the people who get them through it . Everyone struggles .. you may not see it but they do . So be kind to others and to yourself and never stop believing that the sun always shines again 😘💛🌈 #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #anxiety #depression

[feeling-frazzled]

Anxiety hangovers

Just a quick little post today as I was just sitting here thinking ! Today I woke up and I felt like I had been out all night , had a bottle of wine and shots and danced all night .... but no I was in bed at midnight ( to some that’s late but it’s my usual haha ) and I woke up like I was hungover . This happens to me a lot and I always call them mental health hangovers . Today it feels like a anxiety hangover . I kept wakening up every hour and my heart is racing like I had been on vodka red bulls all night , it’s a bloody nightmare !!! I find it harder feeling like this today knowing I’ve been doing all the right things , I went to bed at a reasonable time , didn’t drink alcohol all weekend and had good meals ! I spoke about in a couple of posts before this that I’ve cut way back on alcohol and it’s been amazing, I don’t drink half as much as I used to . I also take a weekend in the month and call it “ mindful weekend “ where I do a lot of self love things for myself . Cook myself nice meals , go to the cinema , go for nice walks , watch a good tv show ! It’s important I do this as life can take over so bloody much !! I know it’s hard in all our busy lives to take time out for ourselves but it’s sooo important . I speak to so many women especially with babies and kids and I know how hard it must be to get even 5 minutes to yourself especially with work to , I am in awe of you . Even if it’s 10 mins in the morning before everyone gets up just take a little time for yourself . I try switch my phone off for an hour a day now as I have come to realisation recently I am ADDICTED and because I work in social media it can be even more of an addiction as I am constantly online . I try to turn it off at night but I can’t because my mediation apps are on my phone and I do that before I sleep 😂😂 always a bloody excuse !!

Anxiety hangovers can be so hard to deal with but I am going to just try and accept it today and not let it ruin my day . I just get so frustrated when I try and do everything right for myself and my health and sometimes you just think what’s the bloody point if I still wake up and feel like absolute shit .. but let’s get on with the day 💃🏻

Anyway just wanted to share how i was feeling today , I’m going to go for a nice walk today and I am cooking for me , my sis and some friends which I look forward to doing as I love cooking 💛 !

Hope everyone has a lovely Sunday

Big love Zoë xxx 😘💛🌈

[feeling-frazzled]

Overcoming insecurities/body confidence🌈

Heyheyheyyyy 💛 ! Today I wanted to talk about insecurities and the effects they have on us . We all have insecurities whether we choose to reveal them or not . Some of us find it harder to cope with than others . I was thinking back the other day to when I first started to go out and first started seeing the world for the first time , I had so many insecurities but I decided not to show the world I had them , I acted super confident, I didn’t care what people thought and just enjoyed myself . Deep down I was not happy in myself but I never showed that . I do believe a lot of it was down to drinking, drinking made me so confident as I’m sure it does for a lot of people .

As I have gotten older especially in the last say 3 years, I’ve felt myself get really insecure with how I look . I believe this is down to things that have happened to me in my past , past relationships especially . I’ve been knocked down but I always manage to pull myself back up . I’ve definitely been mentally and emotionally affected by stuff that’s happened and with people and it can be hard to gain that confidence back . As I’ve spoken about before I had an extremely low time a couple of years ago when I was at my lowest and I got diagnosed with depression during that period . I didn’t see a way out of my darkness, I lost myself in many ways the will to live . I had a dead end job , I wasn’t happy in myself and felt I was losing a lot of myself and didnt know my place in the world . Things changed last year when I finally motivated myself and moved to London, since then things have changed so much for me , I’m working in an industry I love and I am good at , I have gained a lot of my confidence back and not only that but I finally have my full identity back . I know who I am , I’m proud of who I am and it really has proved to me that knowing yourself really is one of the most important things in life for happiness and self acceptance. Saying that I do still struggle , I struggle a lot but it takes time and it takes strength every single day . I call it “ daily battles “ as I’ve blogged about before . My anxiety and depression can tell me I am not worth it , that I am ugly , that I don’t deserve things , that I’m not good enough , that I am not brave enough .. and it can be hard to fight past it when your brain is constantly trying to be negative .. but I never ever let it win, I remain positive , I fight past it and yes it’s a daily struggle some days harder than others but if you train your mind to see the goodness in yourself things start to change . Self care and love is so so important and I’ve only realised how important recently .

One thing I have suffered from is how I look and I think most women can identify with this and of course men to !! There hasn’t been a day that goes by where I don’t do side glances in the mirror at myself and slate myself . Comparing myself to others especially via Instagram can be extremely dangerous . I love Instagram I think it’s a great place to be creative , inspire and share things with people and learn !! I made a conscious decision a while back to only follow accounts that make me feel happy and that bring something positive and inspiring . I had to unfollow a lot and it’s been a hell of a lot better . I’ve also learnt that no I don’t have to have a body like that , I don’t have to have a tight bum , I don’t have to wear my hair like that , I don’t have to wear my makeup as thick as that for a good selfie , I don’t have to wear that outfit blah blah . I love admiring people especially women’s beauty it’s one of my favourite things but sometimes especially on insecure days it can make you feel worse . So what I now do is , I delete the app even if it’s only for a few hours when I feel really really low in myself and I don’t look !! It really helps !! I have to delete the app because it’s so easy to just click on it and I am constantly on my phone especially because I work in marketing so I’m online alot which can be a bad thing to .

I always believe that things especially with our bodies that we spend hours thinking about people maybe only spend like 2 seconds thinking about and to be honest nobody actually cares . It’s the harsh reality but it makes me feel better in a strange way !! We don’t always have to be super confident all the time but we can show the world we are , if we face fear straight in the face we can show the world we are strong and confident ! I had the absolute pleasure to go to a charity fashion show this week in London to see the lovely nadia sawalha on the catwalk . I wanted to go and support her and see her do this as soon as I saw the event and I knew she was nervous so I wanted to go and cheer her on . The whole night was so special and empowering, so much women empowerment . Nadia was so beautiful in every way , I knew how nervous she was but you wouldn’t of even known, she walked the catwalk so gracefully I was so overwhelmed and empowered by her , she took my breath away . The cause she was doing it for was so important and the whole thing was so so special with such an important message . It was so amazing . I haven’t stopped thinking about it since and it’s helped me so much with my body confidence seeing nadia do it , as she said afterwards she was totally out of her comfort zone but you got to “ fake it to make it “ and that made me realise we all have our hangups, anxieties and we got to just “ fake it to make it “ and push past it all sometimes . So proud of you nadia watching you push past your own anxieties was truly inspiring and you were so beautiful 😘🌹 !!

I hope this post has helped 💛 ! Feel free to message me if you have any stories or questions I l would love to hear ! Big kisses😘 xx

[feeling-frazzled]

Mindful eating and mindful drinking

Today I wanted to talk about being mindful with food and being mindful with alcohol . Looking after the mind can be done in so many different ways and I really have realised recently how important it is what you put in your body . What you put in can have deep affect on your mind . I went to the doctors about a month ago just a checkup on my stress and anxiety . She spoke to me about my sleeping and about panic attacks and how regular things were happening . She then asked me how much alcohol I would drink in a week . I don’t drink every night , I would have maybe a bottle of wine a week and if I did go out for drinks I would probably have a bit more, but I don’t go out out every week anymore !! As we all know I suffer really badly from anxiety and when I drink heavily it can destroy me for days . I’m fine if I have a couple of glasses but I noticed when I would go out with friends and have a lot I would be unwell and my anxiety would suffer for a few days after that . I took a break from drinking for about 3 weeks and I felt so fresh, so clear minded and my anxiety definitely wasn’t as bad . I’ve decided i am definitely going to be a lot more mindful when it comes to alcohol , I don’t have to stay out all night anymore just because people want me to, i don’t have to drink another bottle just because it’s been opened , I have to do what’s best for me . I love a drink but I don’t have to get absolutely shitfaced all the time just to “ have a good time “ . I think i definitely feel a lot older and wiser now and my health is what’s important , I do have bad anxiety and I need to do what’s best for me . It’s a really big thing for me to be so honest about this because unfortunately this world centres around alcohol and getting drunk all the time . Today is bank holiday Monday and I’m meeting friends to go have fun , enjoy everyone’s company , have some great food and not drink . I had a few over the weekend and I do feel my anxiety a bit more than usual but I am now aware of it :) !! It can be the same with food , it’s important to be mindful about what we eat . We all have times where we binge eat and we shouldn’t feel guilty about that but I am definitely starting to see a difference when I eat a bit healthier and I love cooking some great food 💛🌈 !!!

Hope everyone has or had a fab bank holiday !! Do what’s best for you , never feel pressured to do things you don’t want to do :) !!! Look after the most important person , you !! You’re important 😘😘

Love Zoë 💛 xxxx

[feeling-frazzled]

Daily pressures

“ why are you not married yet ? “ “ do you not think you should be starting to think about settling down ? “ “ do you want kids ? If so you better hurry up “ “ you are getting on a bit shouldn’t you be thinking about settling down ? “

These are just some of the questions I get asked from people on a regular basis . It seems to be people think when you get to a certain time in your life they think you should be at a certain level . Coming into a new era next year of my life and leaving my twenties behind I feel constantly pressured but by other people . I used to compare myself to people a lot and it really drained me down , a lot of people settled , jobs , families , cars , houses , but for me I just wanted to decide what I wanted to do with my life and not rush things and think about career choices ! I am now loving what I am now doing working in marketing , finally finding something I am good at and am passionate about . I still want to do so much with my life .. I don’t want to be in this same job forever I want to keep aiming higher as there is so much I want to do ! ! ! A lot of people settle and get too comfortable and I completely respect that .. but I have never been one of those people . I like to take risks and explore myself . Life is for living and I want to do as much as possible and keep growing as you can never stop learning 💃🏻💛 !! The most important thing is to surround yourself with people who support that and push you to aim higher . Life isn’t a race , you don’t have to have everything worked out by a certain age … go at your own pace . The only person you need to worry about is yourself … don’t worry what everyone else is doing .. but also don’t envy or be bitter at others success . It’s funny I was watching loose women yesterday and one of the topics was about envying friends, and they were all saying that as you get older it’s important to just push past all that . You got to concentrate on yourself and your own goals .. support one another and it will make it all that little bit easier . Don’t judge people who aren’t at the same stage as you are .. everyone struggles in different ways with life and sometimes things don’t work out as we plan them , none of us have life worked out … everyday we are learning new things, it doesn’t matter what age we are we are still learning . I teach my granny stuff all the time and she is 94 . Open your minds and listen and you may learn something knew !!

Thank you for reading 😘😘🌈

Love Zoë xxxx 💛