feelnofear

[feelnofear]

At most, Watanuki gets a side eye for now. There might be a vague feeling of disbelief from him before he looks away again, plucking a different planet from its spot and dragging it gently with a finger. None of the ones he’s seen have resembled Vertumna as far as he knows, so he shakes his head and lets go of the unfamiliar planet to instead drag his fingers through the stars, watching them scatter at a mere touch.

“It’s probably there somewhere.” He says with a shrug of a shoulder, scanning across the expanse of various planets and stars again. “I didn’t bother looking that hard.” If anything he had just enjoyed getting lost within the atmosphere, the scenery, in relative quiet.

Watanuki is opposite from him, though, seeming like he hasn’t seen anything like this up close let alone actually experiencing being in space first hand. He looks genuinely awed whereas Dys is… indifferent at most outwardly.

Watanuki wasn't surprised in the least that his greeting was met with silence; one so heavy and stifling, it almost made him feel as though the two were back in the shop again. His hands lingering in the air, unsure of how to help Dys, to ground him when he so desperately needed it-- but the flash of memory was all but extinguished when the younger of the two finally responded, nearly catching Watanuki off guard.

He would not have blamed Dys for continuing on without a word. Surely, even looking at Watanuki, let alone hearing his voice.. must have been difficult. It was proven, really, how their eyes made no contact whatsoever; dampening whatever smile the shopkeeper had to hold onto.

At the very least, Watanuki had a great deal of experience in dealing with such.. stoic responses. Unlike a certain someone, however, the person in front of him did not disgruntle him in the least.

".. I wouldn't say that you are. In fact, I'm very glad to see you again."

Cautiously, Watanuki moved through the twinkling stars between them; carefully casting some aside, and lifting his head to watch as they lit up above them. Though mindful to keep some distance, he stood somewhat closer to Dys now; placing his hands in his sleeves as he canted his head back a bit.

"Have you found your planet yet? Or are you just enjoying the sights? I've never seen anything like this before, so it's easy for me to admit just how lost I've allowed myself to be, trying to see everything that I can."

[feelnofear]

Someone else? Dys shakes his head, popping a couple strawberries in his mouth and chewing thoughtfully after pulling off the green stems. The reality of it was he’d always been the type to prefer adventuring alone, and at least here Utopia couldn’t force him to pair up with another expedition member because neither her nor the other members were here to stop him.

Not that she was ever able to stop him from going it alone even on Vertumna, that is. He’d always found ways, even when he was a kid.

“It’s just me. I like exploring alone.” He says, then wipes his hand against his mouth to clear away the stains left behind from the fruits. Alone, there were no distractions. No one that he had to pull out of trouble when they got too ahead of themselves and did stupid shit. Or at least, he liked to convince himself he still preferred being totally alone.

“But I’m fine. None of that stuff was deadly, just mild irritants that taste bitter and can cause a stomach ache for about four hours after. And the strawberries are totally safe.”

hearing about trial and error must have meant that was the way the earliest Pokmon in the Forest must have learned what was safe to eat. must have been a scary time to be hungry and not know what was good from growing up on it. unless they did. hmm... it started to feel like he was thinking in a circle about the very first Pokmon. down a hole that was far too deep to scurry into.

anything that looked dangerous was an easy one to avoid. as adventurous as he was, risking an upset tummy wasn't something he was eager to gamble with.

ϟ have you gotten ill before? i guess you must have someone around who helps in case you need to go and get seen, but there's no-one else here. did they go get snacks? it would be really bad timing if you get sick now while they're gone. ϟ

[feelnofear]

a bunch of stuff happened to me to prevent me from being able to write much, mainly i kept getting headaches that were painful from work stress and i spent a lot of time getting caught up on rest after our visiting family went home as well

also currently i’m preparing to participate in a pride parade so i may still be busyish until thats done but we’ll see what happens there haha

[feelnofear]

Dys is watching a cicada walk over his arm, entirely unbothered as he sits as still as possible to avoid disturbing it as it makes its way along some of his armor.

[feelnofear]

y’all i’m vibrating my merch is here finally oh my GOD the prints are so pretty too

!!!! spoilers though for unlockable illustrations and title screen stuff in the game especially !!!!

[feelnofear]

prioritized my spiralefes stuff today and will hold other threads bc i can’t trim these longer ones rn and don’t wanna inflict that on the dash but i’m also just fully exhausted so i’m planning to go to bed asap

[feelnofear]

Dys has specifically chosen this spot based on the fact not many people seemed to visit it and it gave him a good view of the unique wildlife that lingered in the area. It allowed him to see the various creatures who liked to visit the pond below, letting him observe them from the distance and not disturb their peace too much.

But today it’s different. Just as he’s making his way out of the thick undergrowth, popping out covered in dirt and disheveled but looking to take a break, eyes are settled directly on him.

…Who the fuck is this guy?

He’s more uneasy about him than the wildcat, narrowing his eyes at the stranger as he grips the straps of his backpack, deciding against taking it off for now.

“It was.” He says curtly, scuffing a mud caked boot against the ground and shrugging. He might seem nonchalant in a sense, but he’s definitely not happy about the unexpected company.

[ @feelnofear ;; Peculiar Petting Zoo (ROULETTE STARTER) ]

The animals here are… weird, to put it lightly. Gregor generally knows better than to go around feeding wild things, mysterious foreign lands or otherwise. Most animals tend to avoid him on principle anyways between the arm and the sort of work he used to do— probably some kind of smell, or something. His old neighbor's pets fucking hated him, and he only ever fed those things treats.

He has no idea how to handle this.

"Hey— c'mon, bud—" Gregor says through a mouthful of ham sandwich.

The things here are most certainly not avoiding him. They're way too into his business, even; dogging his steps when he thinks he's alone, getting way too close. Gregor lifts the sandwich he'd been busy finishing off up above his head to avoid the needy little paws of some loose wildcat, feet clad in heavy boots dangling from the edge of the cliff he'd decided to park himself by.

He'd spent what was probably way too long even looking for a nice little out-of-the-way spot to settle down by in the first place— way too noisy out by the entrance, and most of the undergrowth too wet from the recent rain. The outcropping he'd finally stumbled onto after a little while was already just rock baked dry, at least. Nice view too, cast out over a little freshwater pond. There are some weirdly colored deer drinking down there, trees swaying in the gentle breeze.

Peaceful.

Doesn't mean squat if he can't even have his own food, though. He doesn't want to hurt the thing, but—

Something rustles in the undergrowth, quiet but heavy. Gregor and the wildcat still trying to steal the ham clean out of his lunch give a near-identical caught in the headlights look, the pair freezing. He, for one, thought there was going to be another animal that wanted his damn sandwich.

…Just a guy, though. Guess he didn't wander as far from the entrance as he thought he did.

"Uhm. Hey. This… your spot?"

[feelnofear]

Dys had fully avoided bumping into Watanuki until now by sticking around out in the Mistwood where he’d set up his tent for the foreseeable future. Venturing into the city or to his home here only happened as necessary and he’d always been in and out as quick as possible, while he’d overall avoided his shop and the general area deliberately the whole time.

He never knew who he could bump into at any time in a place like this, making him spend about as little time as possible taking care of anything he couldn’t do out at his campsite.

But he had been drawn here in today’s travels, spending time quietly wandering around among the stars with a hand outstretched. He intently watches the planets and stars shift and move at a simple touch. It’s strangely calming in some way.

Until he hears the familiar voice in passing as he drifts by aimlessly, and when he pauses, it’s with tension pooling in his shoulders, barely darting a glance at him as the other broaches the silence.

Some part of him is glad, that Watanuki didn’t ask how he was. Dys doesn’t know what would have come out of his mouth if he had.

For now, a silence drags on as he sets his mouth into a firm line and turns away to move his hand through the stars and planets again, then using it to push around a replica of a planet. Mostly an excuse to avoid eye contact, to pretend he doesn’t see the other’s expression as he tries to keep his own face neutral. He hates how he’s looking at him.

…

…

He should really say something already, huh. He’s just making it more awkward.

“You can do whatever you want. Don’t let me stop you from enjoying yourself either.”

It doesn’t exactly come across as amiable given the deadpan, borderline exhausted drawl in his tone, but he’s never been good at being that, and he feels just as awkward if not more so. What if Watanuki pities him over everything that happened last time?

–  ( ❀; @feelnofear - star-den tea party ​​​​​​)

Standing there amongst the stars was something that quite literally took Watanuki's breath away, mesmerized by the constellations that lit up the sky back in his world. His hands lifted to one, trailing its path; watching the twinkling lights grow brighter with each trace of his fingertip.

He had only just arrived-- not an ounce of refreshments in sight near him, nor had he yet seen his Earth. Perhaps he would have stayed in one spot staring for the rest of the night..

.. if a familiar face had not happened to walk by him.

"... Dys."

His eyes dropped for only a moment, just as Dys crossed his path; perhaps entranced with familiarity he had been missing, too. Despite the warm sense of relief that had washed over Watanuki at the sight of him, anxiousness seemed to pull at him as well; watching the other quietly, unsure if he should carry on further.

He had not seen him since.. that time. Not in the forest, and especially nowhere near the shop. Though.. he could in no way blame Dys for that at all.

".. it's good to see you again," he decided on eventually, his voice gentle, tentative. He smiled some, though it didn't quite reach his eyes; as if wondering if his own presence here would scare the young man away entirely. "Are you.." alright, he wanted to ask. Have you been well. But no matter how hard he tried, the sentiments refused to surface from his mouth.

".. apologies. You're here on your own, so please don't let me intrude on your evening. I can carry on my own way if you'd like."

[feelnofear]

While it probably seems more like a place one would want to visit with friends, Dys is unbothered by the solitary atmosphere as he climbs to the top of the tree tower to get away from people rather then try to mingle among them. There are too many crowds with a festival underway and he lost interest in those for the most part a while ago after his experience with Vertumnalia had been soured, preferring to follow the guide up the leafy staircase only to tuck himself away into the quietest, least populated spot he can find up there.

It’s better than sticking around down in the city where someone could pull him into some activity that he didn’t care for.

[feelnofear]

actually that said i do think i will drop a lot of previous threads, i’m so sorry to those who’ve made me starters but with a new event on the horizon as well as the anni stuff and the fact its been well over a month for many of these due to me being away i think cleaning out some would be for the best to avoid overwhelming myself. so the current stuff i haven’t replied to, i think i will drop formally.

again, sorry to those i’m threading with! but we can always figure out something new!

[feelnofear]

hey! i just got done with work and arrived home but i was so tired saturday i passed out and didn’t wake up til past noon today so my plans to get the rest of my drafts done saturday didn’t pan out at all

but i’m recovered from everything that plagued me right after i came back from hiatus at least!

[feelnofear]

It felt like a moment of everything crashing down around him. Carefully curated barriers didn't seem to hold in a moment like this, as he felt suppressed emotions weighing down on him more and more even as he stayed still, knelt there trying to work out what was going on around him.

Anger and sorrow always felt the most prominent, but especially now.

In the colony, death had always surrounded him since he was a kid. He knew what it meant... at least, under normal circumstances. Death was supposed to mean the end.

And it was something he'd have thought he'd always have been prepared for.

(It was inevitable for everyone, eventually, after all.)

But this...

He had never believed in things like spirits and ghosts, because if those things had truly existed they would have surely been surrounded by those they had lost the whole time back on Vertumna, and even on the Stratospheric long before that.

And yet here he was, a restless spirit who felt too much in this state. He would have thought it would be easier to numb his emotions like this, after death, but it was very much the opposite for him. And he hated it.

And Watanuki…

…

He apologizes.

He doesn’t try to leave, or make cruel comments. He doesn’t withdraw entirely despite that that’s what most people did when it came to dealing with Dys, because they could never figure out how to deal with him (and they never wanted to try).

So why did he continue to stay?

Confusion bubbles to the surface amidst everything else he’s feeling, eyes searching the other’s face as if looking for something. Trying to puzzle him out, trying to look for any type of ulterior motive.

But that’s not something he can find on just a surface level is it?

He wants to push away, maybe to yell, to scream until he feels better.

But what eventually comes out is so much… quieter. Dripping with all of his emotions, but barely above a pained whisper, thoughts that would normally go unspoken tumbling out in his too-vulnerable state:

“Why didn’t you leave, like everyone else seems to? Why do you care?”

You shouldn’t. I’m not worth it. I’ll just hurt you in the end like I do everyone else.

Nothing that Watanuki could say was reaching him.

His attempts to explain what Dys was experiencing only made things worse. The confirmation that this was wrong did nothing to ease the grief that was swallowing him whole. The reassurance, as gentle as he could muster, that Dys still was not alone, despite everything.. did nothing.

Watanuki could not reach him, no matter what he did.

Though, what could he have expected? To feel the cold sting of death, and be trapped within the four walls that surrounded you in that moment still.. to not be able to move on, to restart again as if nothing had happened, was more cruel than anything Watanuki had ever witnessed in his life. Even if the pain you felt stayed with you, even if the eventual return to your life would not affect the fact that you did indeed die..

It was still a mercy, compared to this. To feel such overwhelming panic, dread, and loneliness all at once.

In this instance, he could only imagine how suffocating it all was.

However, what could he do, then? Instead of speaking, instead of trying to explain. Should he have left Dys alone, to wallow in his despair by himself? Every step that he grew closer, the younger of the two only backed up further; creating palpable distance between them until he ended up on his knees on the floor. Watanuki was fighting against every instinct he had to follow him, to remind him that he still wasn't alone.. because none of that was helping.

Perhaps there was nothing he could do to make any of this better.

Silence befell the shopkeeper, as his attempts to keep his composure began to fail him, more and more as the seconds ticked by. If he and Dys had known one another longer.. if Watanuki could know the other would feel comfortable with it, he knew he would have reached out to embrace him; to keep him in place, to show he was safe.

But he did not.

Instead, he simply found himself on the floor, as well; keeping his distance from Dys, to give him a chance to perhaps settle himself down.

And he would wait, until he was ready for anything else.

At the very least.. Watanuki could offer him one final thing.

".. I'm sorry."

"I'm so sorry.. for everything."

[feelnofear]

i think i may have an ear infection that made the pain worse so we’re gonna try to get something for it hopefully so it’ll heal :’) but at least now i know something’s up.

had a headache all day so i’m resting instead really sorry this happened as my hiatus ended and sorry to those who’ve been waiting a long time on my replies ;;

[feelnofear]

had a headache all day so i’m resting instead really sorry this happened as my hiatus ended and sorry to those who’ve been waiting a long time on my replies ;;

[feelnofear]

He’s bunking down inside his tent for now, watching the pouring rain from the open door of it silently, but his expression itself seems distant.

[feelnofear]

“Ugh. Dust is probably my second least favorite season.”

[feelnofear]

Dys cracks the smallest of smiles when the berry is gently plucked from his fingers, briefly watching the small animal munch on it. But then he turns his gaze back to his belongings, tucking the pencil between the pages and shutting the book for now.

Huh. So this little guy was wild, but, what? He seemed more... domesticated. Dys purses his lips, crouching closer to him with his arms crossed over his knees. He could ask more questions considering that there seems to be some sort of communication device attached to his person, but it isn’t a huge deal, really.

"Well. Sometimes you figure out what's good and bad from trial and error. That's how people and animals did it for years." Which clearly happened to him, just going by the notes that he was taking. He was probably lucky he hadn't wound up in the hospital or worse. But if he didn't try to figure it out, how else was he going to know when it came to undocumented foreign plants and all that? "But that doesn't mean you should go around eating something that looks dangerous."

oh! he hadn't expected treats, so when the human held up the berries, he was happily surprised. slowly, so not to seem rude, he took the one extended into his paws and smiled brightly. ϟ thank you! ϟ

nibbling into it, he squeaked with enjoyment, almost losing track of the conversation, which made him pause and focus back upwards before the berry could be gone entirely and his train of thought with it. ϟ I lived in a Forest before here, so I'm used to eating food from the wild. but some things people say aren't good, or even poisonous, so I'm learning to be more careful. ϟ