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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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derangcdarchive:

send me ‘ hc ‘ + a word and i’ll write a headcanon about it regarding my character.

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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As she began to cook, her ears caught the faint music that played on the radio in the kitchen. Her hips began to sway a little as she picked up the beat relatively quickly before she felt the soft embrace of his arms around her waist. A gentle smile came to light upon her lips as her hands moved with the fish slice to turn over the bacon and sausages.

“ I am glad you think so. ”

She gave a small giggle before reaching to the carton of eggs and picking two out then cracking them on the side of one of the frying pans before splitting them and allowing the yolk and egg white to fall.

To say that Hugh wasn’t very much enjoying the sight of Aphra prancing around in barely anything would have been a bold-faced lie. His eyes wandered and appreciated every inch of her. After their swim last night, she had returned with him to his flat, and he had loaned her a shirt to sleep in, as they dozed off in each other’s arms. Standing now, he joined her in the kitchen, clad in pajamas and a bathrobe, his arms slipping around her waist “-mmm.. smells divine dear,”

#drcmmond

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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CHARACTER FLAWS

RULES: BOLD THE ONES THAT APPLY TO YOUR CHARACTER / TAG YOUR FRIENDS!

TAGGED BY: @consultingdick

TAGGING: @sapxentpsyche, @drcmmond, @poxsonmenace, @isaidfocus

#shes the freak with a fantastic mind ( Aphra )

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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An audible sigh left her lips as dark brown eyes rolled in their sockets. His words were nothing new to her, it had only been a matter of time before something was said. She simply allowed him to snatch the paper back before she walked over to the doors to the kitchen and paused once at them.

“ Does your RESENTMENT for such holiday stem from a loathing of your parents enjoyment for them and having the FAMILY TOGETHER? --- I am surprised you’ve not yet been pestered in to going for dinner -- I know Mycroft will be hating on you for IGNORING him and your father, Sherlock. ”

Brows drew together IN tautness at the centre, as the THIN paper was WHIPPED out from beyond HIS relaxed grasp, the annoyance, no matter how MILD, present IN feature. He paused IN HIS breath, as he SIDE-EYED the youth for a monumental second, not IMPRESSED BY her words. “—Do you often hang around older men DURING FESTIVE HOLIDAYS to make up for your lost T I M E at BOARDING school or IS THIS a new TICK?” He snapped back, as he snatched the paper, the DEDUCTIONS he had made OF her a WHILE ago, COMING INTO LIGHT.

#sapxentpsyche

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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🐰 EASTER SENTENCE STARTERS.

Happy Easter to those who celebrate!

❛ What are your Easter plans? ❜ ❛ You’re never too old to hunt some eggs! ❜ ❛ I’m going to Church, mind joining me? ❜ ❛ I hope you have a wonderful Easter my friend! ❜ ❛ I can’t believe it’s supposed to snow on Easter! ❜ ❛ We’re coloring some eggs for Easter, want to help? ❜ ❛ I’m baking some goods for Easter, mind helping me? ❜ ❛ Are you supposed to boil the eggs before coloring them? ❜ ❛ Hey! I got a dollar in one of my plastic eggs! ❜ ❛ I never really went egg hunting, ever in my whole life. ❜ ❛ So, you walk around and find eggs? That’s it? ❜ ❛ Are you going to go shopping with me later? ❜ ❛ How does this outfit look? I’m going to wear it for Easter. ❜ ❛ Who gets drunk on Easter? ❜ Oh, Easter! Another holiday to use as an excuse to drink! ❜ ❛ I drink on all holidays, especially Easter. ❜ ❛ I’ve got a surprise egg for you! ❜ ❛ Help me fill these eggs with candy. ❜ ❛ I can’t believe it’s already Easter. ❜ ❛ I never really cared much for Easter, or any holiday. ❜ ❛ You didn’t come to the Easter festival today? ❜ ❛ Isn’t this like for kids more than anyone? ❜ ❛ A holiday to play with eggs! Sounds delightful! ❜ ❛ I’m taking my child to see the Easter bunny, want to tag along? ❜ ❛ I always loved getting my picture taking with the Easter bunny. ❜ ❛ This egg is my egg, I’m keeping it. ❜ ❛ Please don’t say you’re wearing that? ❜ ❛ I made you a Easter basket. ❜ ❛ I got you a Easter basket anyway. ❜ ❛ Easter candy is my favorite! ❜ ❛ Don’t wait up for the Easter Bunny for that one. ❜ ❛ Christmas and Easter are probably the two holiest days in the Christian calendar. ❜ ❛ I enjoyed watching the Easter Parade. ❜ ❛ The shops are closed on Easter. ❜ ❛ Are you going to that Easter thing this weekend? ❜ ❛ I’m decorating for Easter, want to help out? ❜ ❛ Hey, check out this cool Easter banter I’m going to hang later. ❜ ❛ I have a chocolate egg just for you. ❜ ❛ I love Easter and all the pastel coloring! ❜ ❛ Pastel colors are Easter’s aesthetic. ❜ ❛ I just love all these pastel colors! ❜ ❛ Tell me, what is Easter again? ❜ ❛ Ahh, Easter! Another holiday with great candy! ❜ ❛ I’m so not ready for Easter yet. ❜ ❛ So, doing anything fun for Easter coming up? ❜ ❛ I hope you have a wonderful Easter weekend! ❜ ❛ I always loved Easter as a child! ❜ ❛ Easter is like my favorite holiday! ❜ ❛ I got you a Easter card, hope you like it. ❜ ❛ What should I get my boy/girlfriend for Easter? ❜ ❛ I really wanted to get you something for Easter. ❜ ❛ We should totally sign up to be in this Easter parade. ❜ ❛ They’re handing out free candy because it’s Easter this weekend. ❜ ❛ They do have Easter baskets on sale, want to get check them out? ❜ ❛ There is nothing in this basket but candy? ❜ ❛ I’ve got some extra Easter supplies you can use to make a basket. ❜ ❛ Easter is like a arts and crafts holiday. ❜ ❛ I’ve never been so excited for Easter before! ❜ ❛ Why are you so excited for Easter? ❜ ❛ I think this Easter will be better than my last. ❜ ❛ It just feels like another day to me. ❜ ❛ I can’t believe you don’t want to have some fun! ❜ ❛ Did you get the basket I mailed you? ❜ ❛ I mailed you gift. ❜ ❛ Happy Easter! ❜ ❛ I don’t really want to participate in this event. ❜ ❛ Aw, you’re such a downer! Cheer up! ❜ ❛ I really need your help with sitting this up. ❜ ❛ I will never be able to pull this Easter party off. ❜ ❛ Hey, it’s a double holiday! My birthday is this Easter! ❜ ❛ So, is Easter is always on a Sunday? ❜ ❛ I can’t believe you’ve never went egg hunting before. ❜ ❛ You have not lived until you’ve hunted for eggs like they were gold. ❜ ❛ It’s a Easter costume contest, just do it with me! ❜ ❛ Who wears a costume on Easter? Other than the Easter bunny. ❜ ❛ Plot twist, I’m the Easter bunny. ❜ ❛ What’s a good book to read to kids on Easter? ❜ ❛ This is the best way to go about doing it I guess. ❜ ❛ I really didn’t Easter was this weekend. ❜ ❛ I thought Easter had already passed. ❜ ❛ Is there going to be food at this event? ❜ ❛ Aw, what a cute picture of you and the Easter bunny. ❜ ❛ I’ve got so many baskets to make this year. ❜ ❛ I’m going to church with my family, I told you already. ❜ ❛ I love this Easter day sale. I’ve been here all day. ❜ ❛ All the stores are having a sale for Easter and I’m not missing it. ❜ ❛ I just bought so much Easter crap. ❜ ❛ I collect Easter eggs, if you were wondering why I have so many. ❜ ❛ Okay, we got everything we need, now let’s get to work. ❜ ❛ The school is having a Easter thing in the gym, want to go with me? ❜ ❛ I never understood Easter. ❜ ❛ Does the Easter bunny have a name? ❜ ❛ Let’s just go shopping, that’s always helpful. ❜ ❛ I really must admit, I didn’t think you could pull this off. ❜ ❛ Is that a Easter bunny I see? ❜ ❛ Let’s go to the petting zoo for Easter! ❜ ❛ I love Easter festivals, they’re so much fun! ❜ ❛ Well, for what it’s worth you make the best Easter bunny. ❜ ❛ Wow, you work as the Easter bunny at the mall? ❜ ❛ I’m dressing up as the Easter bunny this year for all the kids. ❜ ❛ I’m just here to take pictures for my scrapbook. ❜ ❛ Let’s start a Easter scrapbook! ❜ ❛ So, we’re heading out early tomorrow, set your alarm. ❜ ❛ Man, coloring eggs is pretty messy. ❜ ❛ You should have put newspaper down before. ❜ ❛ I got you a pet rabbit for Easter. ❜ ❛ What’s a good Easter gift for someone? ❜ ❛ Is Easter this weekend? ❜ ❛ Ever notice how Easter is always on a Sunday? ❜ ❛ I’m ordering pizza for Easter, I don’t care! ❜ ❛ Okay, so cute these papers into shapes of eggs or rabbits. ❜ ❛ I’m send you a special someone for Easter. ❜ ❛ Did you ever get that Easter basket I made for you? ❜ ❛ I love making Easter baskets! It’s so much fun! ❜ ❛ We’re setting up a Easter theme. ❜ ❛ This is a beautiful Easter play idea. We should do it. ❜ ❛ Are you auditioning for the Easter play? ❜ ❛ The school is having a Easter day play, you want to come? ❜ ❛ It’s perfect weather for a Easter Sunday! ❜ ❛ Okay, help me hide these eggs for the kiddos. ❜ ❛ We have to hide all these eggs. ❜ ❛ Fill the rest of those plastic eggs. ❜ ❛ The eggs you found you keep. ❜ ❛ There is going to be a egg hunting contest later. ❜ ❛ Don’t forget to watch for the Easter bunny on TV later. ❜ ❛ I’m not that into Easter this year. ❜ ❛ How are you not ready for Easter? ❜ ❛ Is Easter always chaotic like this? ❜ ❛ I’m going to take Easter pictures with my family. ❜ ❛ Easter cards are an actual thing? ❜ ❛ Wait, so you had no idea it was Easter? There are posters everywhere. ❜ ❛ I auditioned to be in the Easter play at school so I could skip going to church with my parents. ❜

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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Her lips stretched out to form a thin and annoyed line before she reached forward and pulled the paper from his grasp. Why he had to act like such a child was beyond her; especially when he was older than she was.

“ When you have quite finished acting so CHILDISH and accept that I am CORRECT, your egg is on your table beside your coffee! --- I’ve NO TIME for your acts today Sherlock. ”

Stone-washed blue hues surveyed the young woman, and the chocolate that had been offered, a pouted offence present WITHIN HIM, for he knew she was RIGHT, but he would never ADMIT to that. He INSTEAD, popped the newspaper HIGHER, and drew IN a nonchalant breath. “——No.”

#sapxentpsyche #aphy is so done sherlock gah!

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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“ ---- Oh SHUT UP Sherlock, you’re a right BUZZKILL when you’re hungry. Eat your chocolate egg and drink your coffee. ”

◣open◥

“—Never understood the FASCINATION WITH Easter. The concept OF chocolate GIFT-GIVING. Has no real SIGNIFICANCE other than GIVING people an excuse for a cheat day.”

#sapxentpsyche

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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Send me ┼ for my muse's reaction to walking in on your muse

Number Generator

1. Standing over a body

2. Covered in blood

3. Unconcious

4. Being attacked

5. Torturing someone

6. Struggling to breathe

7. Committing suicide

8. Having a mental breakdown

9. Wearing just a towel

10. Wearing sexy lingerie

11. Completely naked

12. Kissing someone

13. Having sex with someone

14. Watching porn

15. Masturbating

16. Taking suggestive pictures

17. Drunk

18. Practicing pick up lines

19. Asleep

20. Dancing with themselves

21. Packing their bags

22. Climbing out the window

23. Crying at a movie

24. Crying

25. Mun’s choice!

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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“ The ---- FUCKING EVERYTHING! ”

Her hand sat upon her chest as her heart beat so fast it felt like it was about to break out of her rib cage. She could not believe Sherlock had had the audacity to creep up on her like he did. Her ears were still ringing from the loud crash of the cymbals --- man, she needed to get him back for this.

@consultingdick Continued from here.

#consultingdick #CYMBAL SCARES ALL THE WAY! ;D

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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“ Jeez --- Sorry--- POPS! ”

Her eyes softly rolled within their sockets as her hands lifted to her sides. So she’d turned Billy the skull to face the wall; he was creeping her out whilst she was sat writing. Honestly, Aphra could not see why Sherlock was getting himself so worked up over it all.

@consultingdick continued from here.

#consultingdick #idek why she called him pops...#perhaps because he sounds like an annoyed parent or something idk PMSL!

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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“I’ll just put this fire over here with the rest of the fire”

Various Sentence Starters

“ Woah– woah WOAH! — Sherlock, what the hell with all the fire?! ”

#consultingdick #fire is bad! haha

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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Pride & Prejudice (2005) Sentence Starters

“Good heavens…. People.” “Have you no compassion for my poor nerves?” “If every man in the room does not end the evening in love with you, then I’m no judge of beauty.” “How can you tease me so?” “One of these days, someone will catch your eye, and then you’ll have to watch your tongue.” “Miserable he may be, but poor he most certainly is not.” “Count your blessings. If he liked you, you’d have to talk with him.” “I wouldn’t dance with him for all of _, let alone the miserable half.” “Do you like to dance?” “I thought poetry was the food of love.” “What do you recommend to encourage affection?” “No, men are far too easy to judge.” “Only the deepest love will persuade me into matrimony, which is why I will end up an old maid.” “Her Ladyship demands it.” “You’ve liked many a stupider person.” “All the world is good and agreeable in your eyes.” ”So which one of these painted peacocks is _?” “I could more easily forgive his vanity had he not wounded mine.” “Your skills in the art of matchmaking are positively occult.” “I’m no longer surprised at your knowing accomplished women, I rather wonder at your knowing any.” “Our surest way of disappointing him will be to ask him nothing about it.” “Would you find pride a fault or a virtue?” “No excellence can be acquired without constant practice.” “My good opinion, once lost, is lost forever.” “How happy for you, _, to possess the talent for flattering with such…delicacy.” “What a shame, for I dearly love to laugh.” “Believe me, no one would suspect your manners to be rehearsed.” “Dear, oh dear. You must be the shame of the regiment.” “Oh, _, do you never think ill of anybody?” “These are the kind of delicate little compliments that are always acceptable to the ladies.” “It is my intention, if I may be so bold, to remain close to you throughout the evening.” “It would be most inconvenient, since I have sworn to loathe him for all eternity.” “Please advise me on what you would like most to hear.” “Oh no, I prefer to be unsociable and taciturn.” “I hear such different accounts of you as puzzle me exceedingly.” “I hope to afford you more clarity in the future.” “She’s just shy and modest.” “Men are eaten up with either arrogance or stupidity.” “There are few of us secure enough to be really in love without proper encouragement.” “We are all fools in love.” “I will not and I certainly never shall.” “He does not know her character as we do.” “I am perfectly serious!” “There are few people who have more true enjoyment of music than myself.” “You give your opinion very decidedly for so young a person.” “With 5000 a year, it would not matter if he had warts and a leer.” “You know perfectly well I do not believe marriage should be driven by a lot of money.” “Only a man truly confident in himself would admit to that.” “Can’t help but feel at any point someone’s going to produce a piglet and make us chase it.” “You have insulted me in every possible, and can now have nothing to say.” “Headstrong, foolish child!” “If they are amiable, they are so easily led that they have no minds of their own whatsoever.” “You’re free to go off and be jilted yourself.” ”Please understand, I cannot accept you.” “Oh, for heaven’s sake, _, don’t look at me like that.” “Not all of us can afford to be romantic.” ”I think that’s the most unforgiving speech you’ve ever made.” “I must confess, the view from where I sit has been rather grey.” “I’m well enough acquainted with you to know that I cannot alarm you even should I wish it.” “I do not have the talent of conversing easily with people I have never met before.” “What on earth have you done to poor _?” “I have struggled in vain and can bear it no longer.” “I love you… Most ardently.” ”I am very sorry to have caused you pain.” “Is that your opinion of me?” “Take care, that savors strongly of bitterness.” “Can you die of happiness?” “You may ask a question, I may choose not to answer it.” “What are men compared to rocks and mountains?” “Do you not think him handsome?” “How can I ever make amends for such behavior?” “You must know… surely you must know it was all for you.” “One word from you will silence me forever.” “You have bewitched me, body and soul.” “Your hands are cold.”

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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Kidnap my character. Put them through hell.

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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My muse has been acting strange, send one for you muse to...

℟ - Hug my muse from behind without saying a word

℠ - Slam my muse against a wall after my muse has been avoiding your muse to ask them what’s going on

⅋ - Bring my muse hot chocolate and a warm blanket

⅌ - Drop a kitten on my muses lap!

⅍ - Go up to my muse and just snuggle them

ⅎ - Kiss my muse and hug them, telling them “I am always here if you need me”

⅏ - Take my muse out for a walk in a peaceful area

⁰ - Taking my muse out to do one of their favorite activities

⇧ - Bury my muse in blankets and turn on their favorite show

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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more texts for you bitches

ANGSTY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] You should have told me you wanted me out of your life. [text] I should have never let you back into my life. [text] Okay [muse’s name] what’s the deal, pretty sure this is you…listen if you want me to leave you alone, please just tell that. [text] Please don’t walk away. [text] Please don’t do this. [text] When are you going to realize I want nothing to do with you? [text] You want nothing to do with me, I get it. [text] I’m an idiot. You fooled me again. [text] When I think things are about to change … I’m always proven wrong. [text] I just want you to be happy. And you’ll be happier without me. [text] I just hate that someone could make me trust [him/her/them] the way that I did [text] The truth is I’m not over you. [text] The truth is I never really wanted to be with you. [text] I’m seeing someone else. [text] How the hell did you get my number, stalker? [text] You’re so selfish. [text] I just saw you leave with [her/him/them]. [text] FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB CUTE FACE

LOVING TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Did I tell you today that you’re the most adorable? Cause, yeah. [text] Be careful. [text] I’m only saying it because I love you. [text] I’m only saying it because I care about you. [text] Okay, I’m bringing coffee. [text] I’m thinking dinner and a movie later this week? [text] Let me take you out, please? [text] Let me make you dinner tonight. [text] I want you to be happy. [text] You’re always safe with me. [text] I can’t stop thinking about you. [text] I seriously don’t know what I’d do without you. [text] I know you may not feel like you are, but you are loved. And important. Please don’t forget that. [text] It was so good seeing you. [text] You don’t need this shit. [text] I’ll be there in five minutes. [text] Let me help, please? [text] You’re important to me. [text] Stop falling asleep in the bathtub. You’re going to drown and die and leave me and I’m not having that. [text] I would gladly watch Netflix and eat Thai with you any day. [text] I’d give up my phone charger AND the last piece of gum for you. That’s love. [text] Hey beautiful no judgment but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??

ANGRY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] If you don’t want me to bust your window, I suggest you answer the phone. Now. [text] To quote Mean Girls, you’re a fugly slut. [text] Are you SERIOUSLY bringing that up right now!? [text] Lose my number, asshole. [text] You’re so predictable and obnoxious. And it’s not only me who thinks so. [text] …The least you could do is answer, wtf. [text] You’re a piece of shit human being and an even worse friend. [text] This is YOUR FAULT. And you can’t even pretend like it isn’t, because you know it is. [text] Why couldn’t you just stay out of it? [text] Holy fucking shit, take a hint, asshole. [text] Go fuck yourself. [text] What the fucking hell is wrong with you? [text] You can take your stuff back as long as I don’t light it on fire first. [text] I have cramps and a migraine so you do NOT want to mess with me right now [text] Bye and have a very fuck you day

SEXY TEXTS, BITCH

[text] Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this. [text] Why are you so hot…like honestly, it’s not fair. [text] Yeah, you looked good in your [dress/shirt/pants] last night but really, they looked way better on my floor. [text] Come over. With condoms. [text] You should come over, clothing optional. [text] I feel like a nasty slut and I LOVE IT [text] Sorry I got drunk and texted you about my sex life [text] Sex on a rooftop - trashy or adventurous? [text] If you’re not at my apartment, shirtless, in five minutes, I will be personally offended. [text] I don’t think he likes that I’m always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together [text] It’ll be like The Notebook, except with way more of my penis. [text] I didn’t know that all of his brothers would be hot and musically inclined, too. That’s a dick move on behalf of biology. [text] I DON’T WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH. [text] So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking? [text] I just need some of your time and all of your body. [text] I am available for nakedness [text] I think about [him/her/them] when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love

DRUNK TEXTS, BITCH

[drunk text] So wat are you really over me no w [drunk text] AND I UNFOLLOWED YOU ON INSTAGRAM TOO, BITCH [drunk text] You are my queen and my savior and I love you forever [drunk text] You are the most beautiful girl I have ever known [drunk text] I’m eating macaroni and cheese on a slice of pizza and autocorrect just wrote that text for me pretty much, what’s your night like [drunk text] Listen up slut, you’re one hot piece of ass and if [he/she/they] doesn’t realize it, it’s their loss [drunk text] but what’s the point of a Disney sing off party if you’re not here. You have to be be the Pumbaa to my Timon [drunk text] Can you pls remind me tomorrow of how much of a fool I made myself tonight [drunk text] FUCK YOU YOU’RE GORGEOUS [drunk text] I think maybe you and me should like go out and eat pizza or something check yes or no [drunk text] Please don’t hate me I’m too tired and too dizzy to be hated [drunk text] I hate (him/her) but less when I’m drinking. Thanks, alcohol. [drunk text] Omf g you need to get over here now I think I’m dyin [drunk text] SWEEEEEEEET CAROLINE

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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Various Sentence Starters

“I love how you NEVER PAY ATTENTION TO ME”

“No I won’t stop stapling tortillas to the wall this is ART”

“Your underwear is really ugly, you should take them off”

“Last time you wanted to watch a horror movie you cried all night and didn’t sleep for three days”

“Knock knock! …Knock knock…? Okay I swear I won’t say banana again”

“I swear to drunk I’m not God”

“My doctor said you shouldn’t drink after taking meds, so I take them WITH alcohol”

“I know I haven’t showered in a week but I saw a spider in the tub and LOST IT”

“hELLO!! tHe mOST impOrTANT PERSON IS HOME!!!”

“Yeah can I get 20 mcdoubles. Yeah, 20. Two zero.”

“Okay you could go to work but get this, how about instead- you don’t and stay in bed with me”

“It’s not a fetish until you have a Deviantart collection for it”

“Mini horses make me so uncomfortable, I want them to be normal sized”

“I’m gonna make dinner so go ahead and have the fire department and pizza hut on speed dial”

“Oh yeah I’ve totally done- uh- weed. I love gardening”

“It’s not an obsession it’s a keen interest- I don’t care if I have three body pillows it’s a KEEN INTEREST”

“Maybe if I just ignore them they’ll stop trynna kill me”

“I’ll just put this fire over here with the rest of the fire”

“Can you believe that people actually ENJOY coleslaw?? What savages”

“First time I kissed a boy was the time I realized I was probably homosexual”

“It’s not gay if it’s for art”

“I like you but in the ‘please shut up for five seconds’ way”

“Let’s get fake ID’s and buy fish from Petco”

“I brought home a kitten, her name is Mary Lious Ann Kate the Third”

“I just hate the word moist, it makes me so uncomfortable”

“Starbucks is so overpriced let’s go get a frap”

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feminaingenium-blog · 8 years ago

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Wedding/Marriage sentence starters

“So, how do you know the bride and groom?”

“Go on then, show us your shoes.”

“I do.”

“Not very big portions, are they?”

“Will you marry me?”

“Your reading was wonderful.”

“On behalf of my wife and I…”

“Yes, of course I’ll marry you.”

“I pronounce you man and wife.”

“Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today…”

“No, I can’t marry you.”

“I object!”

“Her dad’s speech made me cry.”

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.”

“Where are they going on their honeymoon?”

“She got three As in her A-levels and went on to get a 2:1 at university.”

“Five double whiskeys please.”

“Who gives this woman into marriage?”

“Let me not to the marriage of true minds admit impediments.”

“Could you please join the newly-married couple for their first dance?”

“Where have the happy couple gone?”

“How long are we on this bus for?”

“Oh, she looks soooo beautiful.”

“We are getting married!”

“Don’t the bridesmaids look lovely.”

“He looks so relaxed, doesn’t he?”

“Where do you want to go for our honeymoon?”

“Sorry, it’s no longer a free bar.”

“You may now kiss the bride.”

“No, sorry, I’m having the vegetarian option.”

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