feral-engineer

[feral-engineer]

jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

[feral-engineer]

Stolen from reddit where it wasn't being properly appreciated

[feral-engineer]

Hey don't cry, okay? We just found Attenborough’s long-beaked echidna, a species thought to be extinct for the past 60 years.

[feral-engineer]

❤️🧡💛💚💙💜

[feral-engineer]

[feral-engineer]

some of you aren’t even perverts you just have normal sexual desires that you are ashamed of

[feral-engineer]

[feral-engineer]

listen to me right now: stop wasting precious time waiting to dress sluttier until you're smaller. you have a limited number of slut hours before you die and barring cosmic interference you will Never obtain more of them. wear the crop top

[feral-engineer]

i know all about allistic people. they really love loud sudden noises and bad textures

[feral-engineer]

I need dick on a new level never before seen

[feral-engineer]

[feral-engineer]

damn people rly hate type 2 diabetics don't they

[feral-engineer]

I want to say that's Beveren Lace? I thought it was buckspoint because of the honeycomb ground but I went to check myself and learned something new! Buckspoint probably was inspired by Beveren lace.

lace cravat, belgium, mid 1700s.

[feral-engineer]

if you're writing and find yourself thinking 'this is too weird/gross/offputting/esoteric/ambitious/catered to my specific interests + sure to push away a broader audience' that is the devil speaking and it is a lie. you are already firmly on the right path and you need to double down

[feral-engineer]

Weed gummy should cost 50¢ and be sold out of vending machines and at corner stores