fettuccine-void

[fettuccine-void]

Ieiri: Satoru, I’m afraid you’ve gone mad with power.

Gojo: Of course I’ve gone mad with power! Have you ever tried going mad without power? It’s boring and no one listens to you!

[fettuccine-void]

Gojo: Violence is always the answer. Because it’s funny.

[fettuccine-void]

Honestly can’t decide which I like better: Gojo deliberately grooming Megumi since childhood OR Gojo having a moral dilemma of loving Megumi in more ways than he should.

[fettuccine-void]

Satoru: [Pointing at the broken coffee machine.] So. Who broke it? I'm not mad, I just wanna know.

Yuji: ...I did. I broke it.

Satoru: No. No you didn't. Maki?

Maki: Don't look at me. Look at Megumi.

Megumi: What?! I didn't break it.

Maki: Huh, that's weird. How'd you even know it was broken?

Megumi: Because it's sitting right in front of us and it's broken.

Maki: Suspicious.

Megumi: No it's not!

Nobara: If it matters, probably not, but Panda was the last one to use it.

Panda: Liar! I don't even drink that crap!

Nobara: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?

Panda: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles. Everyone knows that, Nobara!

Yuji: Okay let's not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, Gojo-sensei.

Satoru: No! Who broke it!?

Megumi: Sensei...Inumaki's been awfully quiet.

Toge: KONBU?!

[Everyone starts arguing.]

Satoru: I broke it. I burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they'll be at each other's throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick.

[fettuccine-void]

Kugisaki: What's wrong with you?

Fushiguro: Off the top of my head, I'd say low self-esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

[fettuccine-void]

Fushiguro: You think you're better than everyone else.

Gojo: I don't think I'm better than everyone else. I know I am.

[fettuccine-void]

Ieiri: *Answers phone.* Hello?

Gojo: It's Satoru.

Ieiri: What did he do this time?

Gojo: No, it's me, Satoru. It's actually me.

Ieiri: What did you do this time?

[fettuccine-void]

Tsukumo: I have so many ideas for improving the jujutsu world.

Geto: Improving the jujutsu world takes more than ideas, Yuki. It takes time, gasoline, matches.

[fettuccine-void]

Itadori: I hope to die surrounded by my family.

Maki: That’s the only way I’d agree to be surrounded by my family.

[fettuccine-void]

Haibara: You have to open your heart one day Nanami.

Nanami: What happens if I don’t? I miss the heart opening deadline?

Gojo: *walks in*

Nanami: *looks at Gojo then back at Haibara* Opening my heart is on my list.

[fettuccine-void]

Gojo: *to the curses* That’s right. Prepare to meet the power of imagination.

Also Gojo: *throws punches*

[fettuccine-void]

*after Fushiguro got beaten up by a curse*

Maki: I’m so disappointed in you.

Fushiguro: Hey. You do not get to talk to me like that. You are not Gojo-sensei.

Maki:…

Fushiguro: And Gojo-sensei is not my dad.

[fettuccine-void]

Fushiguro: I really need to get stronger.

Gojo: I can help you with that.

Fushiguro: I accept. That’s how messed up things are.

[fettuccine-void]

*after a failed mission*

Gojo: I just think we were both wrong.

Fushiguro: Really? Because I’m a fifteen-year-old second grade sorcerer and you left me to deal with a special grade curse alone.

Gojo: Okay. Maybe I’m a little more wrong.

[fettuccine-void]

Itadori: Well, I might be stupid but I’m not trying to look like I’m not.

[fettuccine-void]

Fushiguro: *high-pitch sneezes*

Gojo: You sneeze like a girl.

Fushiguro: Then how about I pound you like a boy?

Fushiguro: That didn’t come out right.

Gojo: No take back.

[fettuccine-void]

Itadori: Can I ask a dumb question?

Fushiguro: *without looking up from his book* Better than anyone I know.