figged-newtons
figged-newtons
see you in hell you stupid fruit (derogatory)
283K posts
Im a crossdressing homosexual pacifist with a spot on my lung
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
figged-newtons · 5 hours ago
Text
i really do believe that the answer to a lot of people's self hatred is not to try and reassure them that they are wonderful and okay and enough, but instead to remind them theyre a completely unremarkable regular ass person who is not the center of the universe or especially important so why would they expect themselves to be some superhuman savior. like there really is a kernel of out of control self importance at the heart of thinking youre an evil lazy piece of shit. because why would you expect you be anything but just like some guy. if you wouldnt expect the guy who works at the vape shop or your mailman or whatever to be able to do something then why would you expect yourself to? youre just some random ass person. its fine
14K notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 6 hours ago
Text
Hey! All of your drawings do not need to be completely unique from one another. Do you know how many versions and replicas of his Sunflowers Van Gogh actually did? Just draw that naked guy ten times. Reuse that colour palette. Do that pose again. Follow your heart for real, no one can care as much as you do.
2K notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 7 hours ago
Text
has to explain to someone that last night i was laughing myself into tears just googling “baby echidna”
Tumblr media Tumblr media
just for the hell of it heres a baby platypus too
Tumblr media
186K notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 7 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
5K notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 7 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 12 hours ago
Text
I think people who consider aromanticism as "basically straight" underestimate how noticeable absence can be to those around you.
Whether you're a kid in school with classmates who won't take "no one" as an answer to who you have a crush on or an adult whose coworkers have picked up on the fact that you've never mentioned a romantic partner; after enough time, a lack or insufficient amount of romantic interest will raise the antennae of friends, family, coworkers, etc... They will notice and they will speculate and they will ask.
It is impossible to meet the societal bar for straightness through inaction.
40K notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 12 hours ago
Text
You have just been magically transported into a random ao3 fic!
Spin the wheel of ao3 tags three times to find out what your fic is about. Put in the tags what your fic tags are!
20K notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 12 hours ago
Text
somehow instead of saying "as a treat", I've started using the phrase "for morale", as if my body is a ship and its crew, and I (the captain) have to keep us in high spirits, lest we suffer a mutiny in the coming days.
and so I will eat this small block of fancy cheese, for morale. I will take a break and drink some tea, for morale. I will pick up that weird bug, for morale.
I'm not sure if it helps, but it does entertain me
176K notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 12 hours ago
Text
No, I am not 'hoarding craft supplies.' I am sourcing materials for a very big project that will be revealed to me at a later date- perhaps in a dream.
57K notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 13 hours ago
Text
okay so twice recently i've seen random people in the wild like "yeah people don't eat rice around here." so i think we need to have a poll on rice consumption
if you're a no-ricer maybe say where you're from/other explanation because i would like to know................................
22K notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 15 hours ago
Text
Had an abortion and the planned parenthood staff brought out a sombrero and a fried ice cream w a sparkler in it and sang a song about how I shouldn’t feel bad because the baby was ugly
4K notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 15 hours ago
Text
You know that post I made about telling people not to run over wildlife and joking about people getting mad at me? That is not an exaggeration. Based on a real experience. I used to live next to a lake with a large reptile population and one spring I made a post in the community Facebook page about what types of turtles are native to that area in North Carolina, which ones are endangered/rare, which ones are likely to musk/bite you, telling people to check their boat lifts before docking their boats because aquatic turtles like to sun themselves on structures like that, what to do if you find a turtle nest, how to make a turtle dock so turtles don’t sun themselves on your dock. Helpful turtle primer for those who were curious because we did make little wildlife spotting/identification request posts on the page.
The women replying to the post were like “Wow! They’re so cute! I didn’t know we had so many turtles around here!” “This information is so useful, I can’t wait to tell my kids these fun facts!” and the piece of shit redneck dudes were irate at the post for some reason, they were like “I HATE those motherfuckers! I kill them on purpose! They ruin my fucking lawn! I run over them on purpose. Fuck these turtles. Fuck you bleeding heart hippie fuck.” and it was such a bizarre surreal experience. I was not condescending in the post in the slightest, I was just giving advice on how to help wildlife for people who may be interested. Just an informative post about turtles. And it made them really mad?
1K notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 15 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media
what if it was all just a dream
489 notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 15 hours ago
Text
Question that I suspect is autism related
I have, on more than one occasion over multiple decades, been told that I “need to have the last word” and that I “have a response for everything”.
Additionally and in a similar vein, I’ve been told that “everything is an argument with you” and I “always have to say something”.
When I was a little kid I was bad at conversations. People said stuff I had no opinion on or didn’t need follow-up and so I wouldn’t answer and they’d get bored. And eventually through trial and error I figured out that if someone said something to me, all I had to do was say something related back, and the interaction could go on as long as it needed to.
But then as a teen- and now as an adult- a number of people (mostly people I’ve found to be very delicate and particular about things in a sort of need-to-be-in-control authoritarian way) have expressed the identical observation about how I naturally try to converse, and I’m not sure what to do about it.
And the thing is, I have a sibling that talks like this too. We bicker all the time. He changes his own opinions seemingly at a whim for the purpose of being contrary, and it’s impossible to make a statement or observation out loud without him contradicting it, and even when he is demonstrably, factually wrong about something, he will dig his heels into the dirt and defend his stance to the grave.
And like. I hear myself responding, or adding on to people’s comments, but I don’t hear the ‘arguing’ they describe, or the contrarian habits of my sibling. Even when I’m paying attention and being bery careful not to follow up too much or speak too often or disagree or correct something that isn’t important, I get called out for “picking a fight”. They say something, I answer, they reply, I continue, then seemingly out of nowhere they snap. I think everything’s fine until suddenly it isn’t.
And so I guess my question is, how can you tell if you’re a contrary sort of person? How can you tell when to respond or follow up on a person’s statement and how do you know when to leave it in silence? Does everybody see me this way, and is it only people who are already short-tempered who are willing to say it?
I honestly don’t really have that much to say, and half the time I don’t even really want to talk at all, but I’ve been told countless times that I “just seem to like the sound of your own voice” and have to just be “tuned out after a while”. So if it isn’t necessary and I don’t even want to, why am I doing it?
Is there a reason I’m like this? Why is my sibling like this? How do I stop talking when there’s nothing to say, and how can I tell the difference between a conversation and an argument before the other person visibly snaps?
I’m a full grown adult
717 notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 16 hours ago
Text
happy fat femme friday to all who celebrate 🎊
Tumblr media
484 notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 16 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media
Were this an ordinary Tuesday night, Wendy Vance would return home from her receptionist job at a Springfield chiropractor’s office and spend the evening engaged in any number of empty, meaningless diversions: watching old, taped episodes of Friends, browsing the new issue of Cosmopolitan, or driving to Center Square Mall to browse for shoes.
Tonight, however, the 29-year-old is unable to bring herself to turn on the TV or even half-heartedly flip through the new Pottery Barn catalog. Instead, she has decided to visit her grandmother in nearby Mountain Grove.
“If none of this had happened, right now I’d probably be watching that stupid Journey VH1 Behind The Music episode for the 40,000th time. Or talking to my friend Kerri about the Gap skirt I want,” said Vance, holding her grandmother’s frail, time-worn hand. “Now, all I can think about is how precious life is, and how important it is to spend quality time with the people who matter to you, because everything could change in an instant.”
Full Story
1K notes · View notes
figged-newtons · 16 hours ago
Text
Tumblr media
15K notes · View notes