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Heterosexual relationship culture is so alien to me and I don’t know if it’s the fact I’m not cishet or the fact I’m autistic but I hear so many things that make me go “Am I insane or are they?”

There’s a lot of hate on widowers and I saw a woman say “You cannot compete with a dead woman.” which is perhaps a reasonable statement to say if he’s constantly comparing you to his dead partner but that wasn’t what the post was about. And I realized “Oh my God, these people genuinely feel like they’re constantly in competition with their spouse’s exes and the ex being dead makes them feel insecure that they cannot best her.”

There’s also been an uptick in the ‘men and women cannot be ‘just’ friends’ rhetoric which I feel like is extremely dangerous and reflects the rise of fascism and sexism. Some of these stories of women feeling threatened by their husband’s female best friend have some merit and others are like “I feel angry that my husband still talks to the girl he grew up next door to and she and her wife are invited to family gatherings and included in family photos sometimes. Am I right to be suspicious?” No. No you’re not. I cannot imagine being you and living with that high level of stress and paranoia and constant torment and jealousy about your husband having a positive relationship with anyone who isn’t you.

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People are so much more sad, and desparate, and lonely than you think. I have had three incidents in the last four months were a technician I was working with was being either dangerously unfocused (we work with high voltage), or just flat out angry with their coworkers, and every time when I just pulled them aside to say hey, this isn't you, you're nice, and you're competent, so something must be up - what can I do to help - they have responded by bursting into tears. One guy was struggling to get his wife moved into a care home, one guy just got served divorce papers, and the other hadn't slept a wink the night before because his daughter had the pukes.

I haven't spent my whole life responding to people being rude, or stupid, or dangerous with knee jerk compassion. It's a new habit. The first time I did that as the lead for my lab, it was because the guy genuinely was so good natured that I knew something had to be off. But the other two times were just me going, alright, lets see if it always goes this well, and so far, it has. I'm almost 30, and I just figured out that the #1 reason people are shitty are because they are going through shit.

I don't think you have, like, a moral obligation to respond to people being jerks with knee jerk compassion. But it has made my life so much easier the last four months that I would recommend trying. For your own sake. Please.

(I'll step off my soapbox now. Enjoy your Sunday.)

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Me but with my 10,000 word project due in 1 week 🆒

make a comic

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How fucking annoying is it when you feel so restless with creative energy but you can’t decide what to do with it and when you finally try to create something it comes out shit so you just give up and sit there being all creatively annoyed and jittery.

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emails suck. unless they are from ao3, then they are the best thing to ever happen to me

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One day you’ll have whatever it is you’re now so confusedly seeking. That kind of calm that comes from knowing oneself and others. But you can’t rush the arrival of that state of mind. There are things you only learn when no one teaches them. And that’s how it is with life. There’s even more beauty in discovering it for yourself, in spite of the suffering.

Clarice Lispector, from "Gertrudes Asks for Advice" in The Complete Stories

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me and my dissertation. I say lock in as if it's magic words

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very normal non sexual hobby

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Joy Sullivan, “My Mother Says Kissing a Man Without a Mustache Is Like Eating Eggs Without Salt”, Instructions for Traveling West

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some more pages from my everything notebook 🦇

(with some @petite-gloom stickers)

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Watch online free is such a beautiful name for a child

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decentralize and clean up your life!!!

use overdrive, libby, hoopla, cloudlibrary, and kanopy instead of amazon and audible.

use firefox instead of chrome or opera (both are made with chromium, which blocks functionality for ad-blockers. firefox isn't based on chromium).

use mega or proton drive instead of google drive.

get rid of bloatware

use libreoffice instead of microsoft office suite

use vetted sites on r/FREEMEDIAHECKYEAH for free movies, books, games, etc.

use trakt or letterboxd instead of imdb.

use storygraph instead of goodreads.

use darkpatterns to find mobile game with no ads or microtransactions

use ground news to read unbiased news and find blind spots in news stories.

use mediahuman or cobalt to download music, or support your favorite artists directly through bandcamp

make youtube bearable by using mtube, newpipe, or the unhook extension on chrome, firefox, or microsoft edge

use search for a cause or ecosia to support the environment instead of google

use thriftbooks to buy new or used books (they also have manga, textbooks, home goods, CDs, DVDs, and blurays)

use flashpoint to play archived online flash games

find books, movies, games, etc. on the internet archive! for starters, here's a bunch of David Attenborough documentaries and all of the Animorphs books

burn your music onto cds

use pdf24 (available online or as a desktop app) instead of adobe

use unroll.me to clean your email inboxes

use thunderbird, mailfence, countermail, edison mail, tuta, or proton mail instead of gmail

remove bloatware on windows PC, macOS, and iOS X

remove bloatware on samsung X

use pixelfed instead of instagram or meta

use NCH suite for free software like a file converter, image editor, video editors, pdf editor, etc.

feel free to add more alternatives, resources or advice in the reblogs or replies, and i'll add them to the main post <3

last updated: march 18th 2025

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great films available on the internet archive part two

first post + the archive collection with all of them

la haine (1995) dir. mathieu kassovitz

carnival of souls (1962) dir. herk harvey

andrei tarkovsky's filmography

a nightmare on elm st. (1984) dir wes craven

possession (1981) dir. andrzej źuławski

the silence of the lambs (1991) dir. jonathan demme

safe (1995) dir. todd haynes

psycho (1960) dir. alfred hitchcock

cops (1922) dir. buster keaton

sherlock jr (1924) dir. buster keaton

when harry met sally... (1989) dir. rob rainer

the bride of frankenstein (1935) dir. james whale

man with a movie camera (1927) dir. dziga vertov

coffee and cigarettes (2003) dir. jim jarmusch

m (1931) dir. fritz lang

it happened one night (1934) dir. frank capra

casablanca (1942) dir. michael curtiz

purple noon (1960) dir. rene clement

carrie (1976) dir. brian de palma

eraserhead (1977) dir. david lynch

they live (1988) dir. john carpenter

female trouble (1974) dir. john waters

do the right thing (1989) dir. spike lee

wings (1927) dir. william a wellman

fallen angels (1995) dir. wong kar wai

velvet goldmine (1998) dir. todd haynes

black panthers (1968) dir. agnes varda

american psycho (2000) dir. mary harron

the manchurian candidate (1962) dir. john frankenheimer

girlfriends (1978) dir. claudia weill

more to come ♡ glad you all like movies.

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Glennon Doyle, Untamed