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Call her tiramisu the way she’s full of espresso and lady fingers

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Like “Oh, that’s just blorbo. From my uterus”

After having a baby does it become a special interest

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After having a baby does it become a special interest

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I forgot I made this post until I got a notification that someone liked “I want to quit my job and. Become Darth Vadee”

VADEE???? Take it all back I meant Vader

I want to quit my job and. Become Darth Vadee

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I want to quit my job and. Become Darth Vadee

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You ever have someone who you’re willing to bend over backwards for. You chide yourself for being so silly, then immediately look for ways to help them. You care about them so much. You love them. But you can’t say it, because the way you love them will only serve to remind them of the ways you don’t. You would help them lasso the clouds if they asked. You know they would do the same for you. You love them, but you don’t *want* them. Not in the ways they want you.

Another night of talking on the phone, another night of diving to answer their messages, another night of caring for them. You love them in ways they might never know, because it hurts too much that it’s not the love they’re looking for.

Anyways did Barry B Benson ever end up falling for that other bee or nah

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JKR: I’m not racist my best friend is black (mold)

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I just learned about the karma system in Reddit and I’m ready to burn the whole website to the ground

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when ur reading fanfic and one character was cooking and the other comes up to them and they start making out and everyones like starting to take their shirts off and the author STILL hasnt mentioned anyone turning off the stove

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Don’t understand romantasy protagonists. If a man starts growling, I’d be like “You’re growling at me? Like a dog? Then SIT. Bad boy.”

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What are some of the most casually horrifying things you’ve seen play out on social media? I was following a girl who was getting a mortuary sciences degree and she posted about how excited she was to do her first day of hands on mortuary work and the next post she was in paper scrubs with the caption “I got covered in bodily fluids from a cadaver with meningitis while trying to bag them and they’ve put me on preventative antibiotics.” Low transmission rate from corpses and I’m sure things happen like that regularly but imagine walking into your first day at your dream job you were so excited to do and immediately getting sprayed with meningitis corpse juice.

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Hear me out….Demon Idol Bobby

OKAY SO. Working theory that Bobby from KPDH is a former idol, now manager for Huntrix. I can get into this theory if asked, but the idea here is this…IMAGINE. Huntrix has just imploded for no discernible reason, leaving Bobby weak and insecure. He doesn’t know what he’s done wrong, but he is forced to blame himself. So he wanders around town, finds himself at the Saja concert with Gwi Ma whispering in his ear. And here’s where it diverges from the movie- Gwi Ma decides “Oh, hell yeah, this dude is perfect. Let’s make him a demon.” Heartbroken, Bobby agrees. And once Bobby has ascended into badass demondom, the Saja Boys see the potential and go “Wait…should we ask this cunty motherfucker to join our group?” Leading to this:

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WIP of Zoey and Mystery!

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So I see everyone’s being super normal about waiting for AP scores

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Men only want one thing and it’s fucking disgusting (to forget about you)

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EVIDENCE:

The Fall of a Star (Klapollo/Narumitsu/

Franmaya Case Fic)

From the outside, Klavier Gavin was nothing less than a star. Bright, burning, drawing all to its warmth and power. From the way his fingers danced expertly on the strings of his electric guitar to his melodious persuasion in court, it seemed that the young Gavin had it all. Money, fame, looks, and the genius to put them all to good use. The lead singer of a world-famous band, the capturer of a million hapless hearts, one of the most fearsome— yet undeniably charming— prosecutors since the great Miles Edgeworth himself…a pretty face with a dazzling intellect. That was what most people saw of him. Even his elder brother’s murder conviction, he’d handled with grace and levity. That was the Klavier Gavin that most people saw. What they didn’t see was the great Klavier Gavin himself hunched over the sink of his hotel room, eyes red and puffy, mouth twitching uncontrollably. He stared at his reflection with a mixture of pity and loathing. He didn’t like looking in mirrors too much these days. Silky pale-blonde hair, braided artfully over one shoulder and falling into tranquil blue eyes in tufts. Teeth bared in the prettiest of smiles. Tanned skin with lithe muscles rippling underneath. Kristoph’s face seemed to leer back at Klavier from his reflection. Apathetic, smiling coldly. “Brüderchen, what a pleasure. You’ve done well, you know.” Klavier scowled, but couldn’t seem to tear his gaze away. Kristoph’s face scowled back at him, but there was victory in it. Gloating. “You took that overconfident clod off the board…for that, I must thank you. I might have known that my best apprentice would grow to help me so.” The younger brother’s lip pulled up to expose shining white teeth— for once, unsmiling. “Herr Murderer, get out. I am nothing like you,” Klavier snarled, fingernails digging into the wood of the bathroom counter. His pulse pounded in his head. There was a pause. Then, in the recesses of his mind, a whispered “As you wish, little brother. I’ll be back sooner than you think.” With that, Kristoph— at least for the time being— had made his departure. Klavier slumped against the cold tile of the bathroom floor, the energy leached from his body. He couldn’t believe that this was his life. Staying in a shabby hotel room to avoid looking at his own home, talking to himself in the mirror…mein Gott, he was even wearing sweatpants. Sweatpants! A Gavin! Klavier flinched at his own use of the surname. He didn’t like to associate himself with it much, not anymore. Not since… Klavier’s eyes swelled with tears. For himself. For the brother he had once so admired, now in jail. For the innocent defense attorney he had ruined the life of. He began to cry, then, silent tears that streaked his face with yesterday’s eyeliner and landed salty on his lips. The man trembled, wrapping his arms around himself and letting the pain wash through him. Baptizing himself in agony, letting the tears trace his skin. Suddenly, Klavier was startled out of his reverie by a sharp rap at the door. He swallowed hard, swiping at his tearstained face. Hoping the smeared eyeliner was not visible— he didn’t want to risk looking in the mirror again— he moved to answer the door. “Apologies for the lateness,” Klavier said as he opened it, pulling on his most charming smile. “How may I help yo-?” He stopped. Nobody was there. Only a small white envelope, just barely brushing the entrance to his hotel room. Klavier leaned over and picked it up. He turned it over. Nothing on the other side…that was a little strange, but not so strange that he was deterred from tearing open the envelope and removing its contents. A letter, unsurprisingly. Klavier scanned the words— written in a loopy font that he was unfamiliar with— and slowly set the letter down at his desk. Well. It seemed his evening would be more eventful than he’d planned for. Ten minutes later, dressed in skinny jeans and a half-buttoned purple shirt, Klavier finally smiled— a true smile— for the first time in days. It was time he paid Number 65, Peace Valley a visit.

Once a star, always a star.

READ ON AO3!