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We looked inside some of the posts by firebird-6 and here's what we found interesting.
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say what you will about the brits but "wanking" really is the best term for it
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Hazbin hotel is like... like when you were thirteen and you heard panic! at the disco and thought they were so real for telling it like it is but now you're thirty you listen to them again hoping for a little bit of nostalgia and it's like... yeah this was written by a 16 year old ex-mormon theater kid who just learned what vodka and bisexuality were two weeks ago and won't stop talking about it
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Shacklelock
“Iron Maiden Giant - Personal Project” © Phillip Zhang, accessed at his ArtStation here
[Commissioned by @coldbloodassassin. The 3rd edition Monster Manual III introduced the idea of “planar golems”, constructs that were infused with the essence of a particular plane in the Great Wheel cosmology. It had statistics for three of them, gloom (Hades), radiance (Elysium) and shadesteel (Plane of Shadow), but a lengthy sidebar discussing examples for most of the outer planes. The “shacklelock golem” was one of them, from the prison plane Carceri.
Two issues. One, these stray pretty far afield of what golems in D&D traditionally are–a mindless construct made out of a single substance. I didn’t like them when MMIII came out, and I have not changed my mind in the interceding 15 (!) years. Two, Pathfinder RPG has a different set of planes, and the planes that are in common often differ somewhat from their D&D versions. So my version is neither a golem, nor is it from Carceri.]
Shacklelock CR 16 NE Construct This humanoid giant stands taller than a building, its entire body made of metal. It seems able to split open down the middle, and chains are wrapped around its form and dangle from its waist. Its head sits low on its shoulders, and a collar of spikes bridges its neck and shoulders. Blood and bone fragments ooze from its interior, as if it were hollow inside. The stench of rotting meat wafts from the horrifying colossus.
Shacklelocks are unholy constructs made of quintessence and iron by daemons. They are modeled after iron maidens, or perhaps it is the other way around. They were devised by meladaemon mystics to generate more soul gems from the daemons’ victims without the fragile and unreliable cacodaemons to worry about. Creatures that die in the shacklelock’s spiked interior have their souls converted into gems automatically, which can be retrieved by the daemonic masters for consumption or trade. The construct’s very presence disrupts planar travel, making them excellent traps for other outsiders the daemons want eliminated.
A shacklelock wades into battle without fear or remorse, obeying the orders of their masters without question. Their bodies are perennially stained with blood and bits of rotting flesh stuck in their cracks and crevices, and their stench often precedes them. The chains on their belt can extend like tentacles, reeling in prey until it is close enough to grab and shove into the monster’s interior. Unless instructed to target a specific foe, the shacklelock will split its attacks in the joy of violence, as its only desire is to fill itself with the dead and dying.
Shacklelocks cannot be constructed by mortal casters, although they can be summoned through the use of gate spells. A shacklelock only accepts the sacrifice of good-aligned sapient creatures as payment.
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#i made a 5e conversion of this but i changed so much and for so many reasons that I couldn't sum it up in under like 2k words#So i gave up and never posted it. i also have never used it and probably never will#its weird how much work we put into rpgs without getting anything out of it#i guess the work itself is its own reward#dont become an actor unless you love auditioning#dinsp
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Dogs playing poker
Print due to popular request
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Forest elves, high elves, sea elves, dark elves – it’s always elves who get all the goof environmentally adapted subspecies, isn’t it? I say we shake things up – I want to see some aquatic dwarves. Arboreal halflings. Goblins who dwell in high towers of silver and starlight. I want to see a fantasy RPG setting where the obligatory folksy burrow-dwelling pastoralists with a dozen kids per family are a bunch of robots.
#this is how i made it work in my world only its not lamarckian evolution its just handwavy fey magic#dragons colour logic made environments as in biomes supernaturally enforced concepts#when asking the difference between wood elves and high elves i made it scan to this.#whatever it was that made elves different to humans or firbolgs or gnomes also made them hypersensitive to biome#withina bout 100 years of constant exposure to a consistent environment they shift and will produce biome appropriate children#when addressing the goblinoid diaspora i decided goblins work similarly#if goblins hobgoblins and bugbears are all different physical expressions of teh same species without doing dog breed shit#the species was created to have three essential permutations that come together to construct a suitable society#but then what could the possible benefit of goblins be next to hobgoblins and bugbears?#i went the elf route#goblins unlike HG and BB are environmentally sesitive and are able to adapt at a faster rate than elves due to the shorter lifespan#goblinoids have physical trimorphism as in sexual dimorphism. any pair of goblinoid parents can create any goblinoid offspring#i guess the assumption is BB are physically strong. HG are versatile and an expression of the preexisting humanoid assumptions#and Gobs are adaptable and durable. each has a role in the generalised conception of species survival and propagation#This bizarre genetics also means i don't have to figure out what half-goblins are. they are just genetically incompatible#EXCEPT for oni which i made the 'ogre' races progenitor. orc/oni makes an ogre. human/oni makes a verbeeg. goblin/oni makes a troll#trolls are the weirdest ogre-style guys because of the weird goblin genetics interacting with the supernatural oni genetics#if this sounds like it sucks it's because it does but my base world was a specific exercise in 'fixing' baseline dnd#i set myself the challenge of not being allowed to remove anything except gods and lore and then making all the remaining pieces fit properl#all baseline dnd assumptions from the player perspective have to be true or have to appear to be true#if i want to change something substatial such as what an ogre or an oni is then i need to add a bunch of new stuff to pad it out#to make it universally true i had to get verbeeg and voadkyn from the forgotten realms archives and thursir from KPToF#also tying in genie and thus genasi and also half ogres of course to make a new well defined and totally bulletproof unifying theory#the lore is full complete has no holes and is satisfying and best of all it created loads of new sources of inspiration for campaign writing#how did i get here?#dinsp
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Posting "dick from a stupid girl" on Tumblr dot com and then waking up to find out, in a great deal of relief, that I'm a young centipede on the forest floor hiding under leaf litter. my cannibalistic mother, a much larger, red, chitinous centipede, has stopped pursuing me. I am comfortable and my goal is now to grow big enough to eat mice
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Pearlfish live in the anuses of sea cucumbers
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