fireboltsystem

[fireboltsystem]

being a system member who's been dormant for a long time is weird as hell because sometimes you're just benefiting from personal growth you haven't actually done

[fireboltsystem]

replying to this post: https://www.tumblr.com/fireboltsystem/788890192617586688/i-wonder-if-its-a-dissociation-thing-does?source=share

we have something super similar that happens, actually. it's more-so because our brain like to compartmentalize tasks in such a way that it causes us to split lots and lots of fragments related to particular tasks (to be fair, we /are/ polyfrag) but "doing the dishes" fragment only really remembers doing the dishes, and nothing more, and so it really /does/ seem like that's all that it does. because.... that's lowkey all that it does, lol. the only thing that keeps us from feeling as if we're doing the same things on loop constantly is the more fully-formed alters who tend to be in front alongside the task fragments

just wanted to throw my own experiences into the ring, because this post really did resonate with us. like, we've never heard of anyone else experiencing this kinda memory fuckery. it helps us feel more valid, so hopefully, our experiences will help you understand that it isn't just you, also :)

Thank you omg! I do wonder if it's something similar (and if other things like poor executive function contribute for me - terrible at transitions? Hotswap the dishes guy in there so I'm not the one who has to do it lmao). I haven't super-seriously considered whether we're polyfragmented but that might be a possibility! It definitely FEELS like a compartmentalizing thing, and the "having fully-formed folks keeping it from just becoming loops forever" makes a looooooot of sense. Which could mean nothing /j. Thanks for sharing your experience, it's good to know we aren't the only ones!

[fireboltsystem]

i wonder if it's a dissociation thing - does anyone else have this weird experience??

frequently when we are doing a task, usually something boring or tedious like chores or self-care, we feel like we just got done with the last time doing it. ie when we do the dishes we remember doing the dishes 3 days ago as if we had just finished doing them. which makes every task feel like a neverending slog.

it's like our memory is too good?? or so circumstance-specific that the pool of 'recent memories' to pull from relies on what's happening in the current moment? im not exactly sure tbh everyone i describe this to has been very confused. it isn't quite like the same alter fronts for the task every time. it feels like it persists between alters often.

[fireboltsystem]

There are people out there that think talking to yourself out loud is a sign of mental illness. Can you imagine. Even without the plurality I'd never shut up

[fireboltsystem]

Our method of willing new created system members involves visualizing a well inside headspace filling up with the traits of the new member. Does that make them wellogenic

[fireboltsystem]

On one hand, having my own blog is a terrible idea because of the deadly combination of being obnoxiously opinionated and extremely easily angered. On the same hand I wouldn't really use it much because I don't really think of myself as a "full person" in the way some of my headmates are and don't front the same way they do. On the same hand again I hate people and don't want to interact with them at all because they piss me off especially when they disagree with me.

On the other hand. Idk what if I wanted to anyways.

-♦️

[fireboltsystem]

Cofronting.

[fireboltsystem]

"I'm LGBTQ" "What, all at once?"

[fireboltsystem]

!! I (Nvidia) am objectum, and a few of my headmates have attractions that could def be called objectum but aren't super attached to the label. Closest thing to an object partner I have is the plane I had in source. Nowadays I'm attracted to all kinds of things, but my plane was really special. I get some lighthearted teasing from my headmates about the things I'm attracted to, but it's all in good fun.

if yes how do your sysmates treat your object partners if you have any? do you share object partners?

[fireboltsystem]

my therapist: “you need to unlearn the belief that failing to completely explain every statement you make will cause people to misinterpret and hate you. that’s generally not how people think, and it’s just your OCD talking.”

tumblr when you word a post slightly vaguely/poorly:

[fireboltsystem]

first youtube analysis i've wanted to watch voluntarily

[fireboltsystem]

I saw a colorblind-friendly pride flag today and thought I’d try my best to make a colorblind friendly plural symbol. It took me longer than it should, and it’s still not perfect tbh.

[fireboltsystem]

when u find out ur “different music tastes” actually each have their own names and pronouns

- 🔪

[fireboltsystem]

And like it really is a testament to how Bad it was that we didn't at all notice that our mom was plural because we were dissociating in order to survive visits to her home. It was apparently very obvious despite never being spoken about but we were completely in another world because of the physical pain we were in and the neglect etc etc.

[fireboltsystem]

Found out that our mother, a system diagnosed with MPD at some point in the 90s, had created a system map as part of her therapy work, but that was lost at some point after her passing. Inconsolable

[fireboltsystem]

Talking to your dad about your late mom's traumatic past call that a mommadump

[fireboltsystem]

One of the strangest things we deal with is the random extremely rare desire for cigarette. We've had dreams about smoking.

We have never smoked. We have ASTHMA. We have an immediate negative reaction to the smell of cigarette smoke, emotionally and physically. None of us even have like memories of being smokers. What is up with this.