fireteamepic

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children are so fucking funny man. i just overheard a kid go “i just learned a new way to pinch, wanna see it? it hurts a lot more!” followed by a loud, notably pained scream

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Why don’t we let the guy whose every plan could be reasonably construed as an abstract suicide attempt take a crack it

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they are canceling me for the way i deal with grief. also, for the infinite number of destroyed universes

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ocs…

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“Heyo!” An abnormally small Exo is crouched atop a tall server tower in the shadowed corner of the room. She leaps down with careless ease, slings her rifle over her shoulder, and flashes you a cocky grin. “Soooo… hear you’re lookin’ for some Vex tech? Not really my thing, but…” A Ghost buzzes past her nose, beeping irritably. She swats at it and rolls her eyes, making an odd laugh that sounds like static and grating metal. “I’m joking, Pyxis! Yeesh!” The Ghost merely gives her another disgruntled trill before floating off to scan the server behind her once more. “Sorry ‘bout him. He gets touchy about those freaks. They kidnapped him once, and… yeah, it was a whole thing?” She hastily mashes something into a keyboard nearby, scrutinizes her gun, then fires a few test rounds into the ceiling. “Great! I’ve been wanting to hunt some more Vex craniums.” She laughs her strange laugh again, tapping the dome of her head with a finger. “I’ve kinda got one myself, y’know.” With no further explanation, she takes her Ghost into the hood of her cloak and sprints off, the two of them bickering the whole way.

Rasputin's Blade | Bandit-5

☆ : . : ☆ : . : ☆ : . : ☆

Commission for @alucarda1977 / @fireteamepic

Find me over on Ko-Fi!

Full Image ID below the cut

[Image ID: An exo hunter standing in a room decorated with lit electronic displays and panels. Her face is a green-blue with a camo pattern, and she has bright orange eyes. Her armor is a mix of gold, black, and green with occasional white accents. She is standing confidently with a gun, specifically the disparity pulse rifle, resting on her shoulder.

The room is very yellow in hue, and appears to be dim except for the display panels.

There is text along the bottom of the screen and the right. The text at the bottom of the screen reads:

Rasputin's Blade Bandit-5 Once part of Rasputin’s top-secret special task force, Bandit-5 was captured and experimented on by the Vex. Now she harnesses a strange paracausal power to accomplish her goals…

The text on the right side of the screen says

A friend of a friend? “Heyo!” An abnormally small Exo is crouched atop a tall server tower in the shadowed corner of the room. She leaps down with careless ease, slings her rifle over her shoulder, and flashes you a cocky grin. “Soooo… hear you’re lookin’ for some Vex tech? Not really my thing, but…” A Ghost buzzes past her nose, beeping irritably. She swats at it and rolls her eyes, making an odd laugh that sounds like static and grating metal. “I’m joking, Pyxis! Yeesh!” The Ghost merely gives her another disgruntled trill before floating off to scan the server behind her once more. “Sorry ‘bout him. He gets touchy about those freaks. They kidnapped him once, and… yeah, it was a whole thing?” She hastily mashes something into a keyboard nearby, scrutinizes her gun, then fires a few test rounds into the ceiling. “Great! I’ve been wanting to hunt some more Vex craniums.” She laughs her strange laugh again, tapping the dome of her head with a finger. “I’ve kinda got one myself, y’know.” With no further explanation, she takes her Ghost into the hood of her cloak and sprints off, the two of them bickering the whole way.

There is a dialog button that says "Accept" underneath.

/End ID]

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my beautiful daughter named paranoia. shes right behind me isnt she

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This is the guy who made the first genetically-engineered babies (a horrific ethics violation that landed him 3 years in prison) and his tweets are so unhinged that I genuinely can't tell if he's trying to be funny or is 100% serious

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nobodys paying attention to me so im going to microwave forks and knives

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fake idgafer. i saw tht haunted look in ur eyes

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ok

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MY NEW WAY TO HAVW FUN🔥🔥

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special defense

does this count as anything ???is this art