firstt-draftss

[firstt-draftss]

He makes me feel like a John Mayer song

~one sentence confessions~

[firstt-draftss]

[firstt-draftss]

[firstt-draftss]

It’s Not You, It’s me.

It’s not you it’s me

Especially since you’ve gone around telling everyone I’m the problem

Yeah definitely

You’ve done nothing wrong

Even though I’ve sat through fifth period countless times

Counting the times you’ve made me cry

Am I dating a boy or an onion for god sakes

I read the texts that proved you were cheating all along

So I convinced myself to be strong

And ask you what was going on

Only to be convinced I’m the one in the wrong

So i thought we made it through

You said it would never happen again

So I’m trying to apprehend

Why you then

hit on my best friend

What kinda fucked up mentality must-

I have had to believe her.

When she’s only ever told me the truth

But every time

You told me lies

Made me lose my mind

And somehow persuade me with those ocean blue eyes.

I don’t get it.

But I guess I should be thanking you, right?

At least in some way you want me.

Better than nothing huh?

But you wanna know what

No.

After a little bit of thinking

I realized

There was a reason we ended the first time.

And I realized my mistake wasn’t that I consistently accused you,

It was that I was with a guy who had a reason to be consistently accused.

And I realized

It is not my fault you cheated on me

Something that was my fault is

I was so damn gullible.

I honestly thought you meant all those

I love you’s

What I failed to see is that

When you said I love you

What you meant is

I’ll love you enough to get in your pants

And honestly,

I’m worth a hell lot more than that.

So now when you send that apology text saying

“I’m sorry, I miss you”

And all that clique bullshit

Instead of running back to your toxic embrace

I will laugh in your face and say

Fuck you

Cause I don’t need it anymore

I don’t need the lies

I don’t need the heartache

And I sure as hell don’t need your goddamn approval.

I am not beautiful because you say I am

I’m beautiful cause I got my mamas genes

I’m not funny because you think I am

I’m funny cause I got my dads sense of humor

And guess what

I don’t wear combat boots because I know you like them

I wear combat boots because I know they’ll leave a mark

when I kick your deceitful ass out the door.

And don’t try to peep through the window

Because this time

I’ll just shut the blinds.

I don’t need you anymore

And more importantly,

I don’t want you anymore

And I have finally come to the conclusion

That after all the pain you put me through

That it’s not me

It’s you.

[firstt-draftss]

The music is so much better knowing you like it.

-one sentence confessions-

[firstt-draftss]

She was the type of girl who would follow him till the ends of the earth even if it killed her, and he was the selfish kind who didn’t, not even for a second, think about whether she would make it whole.

[firstt-draftss]

[firstt-draftss]

[firstt-draftss]

It's a shame so many beautiful poets have fear too deep down their throats to let the words fall out

i dont know, just a thought.

[firstt-draftss]

“The loneliest moment in someone’s life is when they are watching their whole life fall apart, and all they can do is stare blankly.”

— F.Scott Fitzgerald (via amortizing)

[firstt-draftss]

How do I say I miss you without sounding like I want you back?

-one sentence confessions-

[firstt-draftss]

23 Emotions people feel, but can’t explain

Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.

Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.

Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.

Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.

Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

Vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.

Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening

Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.

Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.

Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.

Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.

Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

Rückkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.

Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.

Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.

Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.

Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.

Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

[firstt-draftss]

"I will drown myself in the music until I'm so lost in the melody, that I forget why I'm singing"

-m.j.

[firstt-draftss]

And the truth is that I never truly fell out of love with you.

-one sentence confessions-

[firstt-draftss]

Reminder:

It happened. Happened is a past tense word. What happened is in the past. It's okay to move on if they're already gone.

[firstt-draftss]

Creative Rant 2.0

But what you find a new me, and that's just it. I'm gone. You're happy and I'm gone. She's there and I'm not. You say I love you to her and not me. I know it'll happen. And I want you to be happy. But it sucks knowing that you're gone.

[firstt-draftss]

And the truth is, what I'll miss most is having the time to do nothing with you.

-one sentence connfessions-