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she smelled like another girls toys

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one time i hooked up with a guy and he ate my ass and jerked me off and then his boyfriend came home and was like kind of upset that he didn't get to have sex with me too. so i was like hey we can do sex that's fine by me. i can cum again. and so he's like ok lets take a shower together and ill jerk you off in the shower. and as hes jerking me off in the shower he asks if i use my phone while i shower. and i say no. and he says he always uses his phone in the shower. and sometimes he takes off the case and washes his phone with shampoo and water just for fun. and he's broken five phones this year from doing that but he's not going to stop because he just wants his phone to be clean and feel good. hes still jerking me off as he tells me about this. this is a real story you have to believe me

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It's extremely rare for me to not post something because it's too bad. But this was a 4 edible situation

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When carrie bradshaw said your worst sin is that you have destroyed and betrayed yourself for nothing

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This diva

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this video has invaded my brain

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Kristijonas Gurčinas - The Reap, 2025 - Oil, acrylic, and spray paint on canvas

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I fuck wit title-only text posts. this shit is like talkin in an apartment hallway loud as fuck out the window

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Everything is political especially the knight fetish people seem to have on here. I’m canceling your fantasy boyfriend for being in the crusades

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me: *trying to take my socks off but they keep getting stuck on my heel* oh fuck. goddamnit.

the extractor fan in a bathroom in Norway that has an intrinsic link to my spirit: *momentarily whirs louder*

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Make sure you say "I wonder what they're doing right now..." about your comic relief friends every now and then so the episode can cut to their B plot

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Ken Kiff (British, 1935-2001) - There Was an Immense Laughing Rat (1977)

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unreasonably charmed by Pendant in the shape of a ram's head, Eastern Mediterranean, 5th–4th century BC, made of glass

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