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MY FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT MY GIRLFRIEND - BY BRITTANY PIERCE

1. She's really hot.

2. She plays with my hair.

3. She's really good at singing.

4. She loves me like I love her.

5. She's one of the bravest people I know.

6. Her green dresses.

7. She's really great at cheerleading.

8. She's an amazing friend.

9. She doesn't hide who she is from me.

10. The way she looks when she first wakes up.

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Tina, I'm sorry about making a fake interview with you. Maybe some time, we could have a real one, and we can gossip. Everybody loves you a lot, and you're super awesome. I also really wanna braid your hair. You're an awesome friend, and I think you're really cool. 

And that concludes Brittany's tumblr crushes.

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Baby, why're you so low in my crushes? We totally need to hang out more. In bottom left is Troll Doll, who goes to the same hot guy school as Kurtsicle. He has really cool hair and a really great boyfriend. Keep up the good work, Troll Doll.

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Next in my tumblr crushes is the best boyfriend in the whole world, Sam Evans! He has really great hair, and he's nearly as good at kissing as 'Tana. If you haven't kissed him before, you should ask Harmony if you can have a go. 

You're my best blonde buddy.

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Harmony, Harmony, Harmony, in center stage at 5%. We haven't really talked a lot, but you seem really awesome. I mean, Sam likes you, and I like to think he has a good taste in girls. 

I don't know if you noticed, but we also have super similar surnames, so I think that's a sign we should be awesome friends.

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With 5% of my love, Miss Mercedes Jones has worked her way into fourth place. She should get way more solos in glee club, because aside from my favorite lady, 'Cedes has the best songs. 

We also totally need to have a sleepover soon.

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I'm gonna keep it short and sweet because I'll get to you later, but you're the world's best girlfriend, and I love you a lot. If you don't know Santana, I feel really sad for you.

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In pretty close second with 17% is the ever adorable Kurt Hummel. He has the best taste in clothes, friends and music ever. And now he's moved away to a school full of hot boys. No problemo though, apparently there's a school like that for girls too. I think I'll head there.

Kurtsicle also has a superb taste in men, as shown in his super hot Troll Doll boyfriend.

Sadly not in center stage anymore, but still awesome.

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With 20%, Artie Abrams is first in my Tumblr crushes. With his super cool sweaters, and his awesome glasses, he's worked his way into the hearts of everybody. Everybody cool, anyway. 

Artie is also one of the most slamming dancers I've ever met. 

Stay awesome, Artimus!

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HAPPY VALENTINES DAY

Okay, so maybe it's a day late, but FF2 has to be Saturday, those are the rules. As you probably know, this episode is going to be totally special. We'll be starting with my crushes soon, but while you're waiting, get comfortable, eat some chocolate, and maybe kiss your honey. JBI's backstage (In Bethany's room) getting ready for his hot date. Back in five.

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These are a few of my favorite things.

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INTERVIEW WITH SUGAR MOTTA

Brittany: Now, my next and last guest is.... Sugar Motta! I'm going to be totally honest, and say that I don't really know who she is. She doesn't go to school, so maybe she's an adult. But she hangs out on the internet, so she's got to be pretty cool. Now, Sugarplum. Is it okay if I call you Sugarplum? I'm going to. Where did you appear from?

Sugar: Hi, um, it's totally great to be here on your show, Brittany, y'know Daddy always says that if you can't get on camera you're useless. Anyway, you can call me whatever you want because I like you and I live in Ohio but I go to the coolest school on the planet, apart from the icky uniforms, Crawford Country Day.

Brittany: Crawford? I've never heard of it. One theory that immediately springs to mind is that you're lying and you're a serial killer. But it's also possible that it's just a sucky school with no cheerleaders. Are there cheerleaders? Help yourself to fondue.

Sugar: Probably never heard of it because it's a private school, Daddy says only rich people can go to it. It's the sister school of Dalton, actually. I- what? I'm not a serial killer. Pretty sure I got that rumor off the internet once I deleted my comment on the Kim Kardashian fan club page. There are cheerleaders, but the main focus of the school is the Songbirds, they're totes better than the New Directions.

Brittany: My friend Troll Doll goes to Dalton. If you're watching, Troll Doll, look out for this one. Now, ignoring the totally rude and inaccurate part about glee club, can I ask what the comment on Kim Kardashian's page was?

Sugar: Who's Troll Doll? I don't think I've heard of him. Oh, I totally would, but I don't think it's appropriate for this of show, basically what I said was that I was going to hurt this person if they said one more thing about Kim.

Brittany: Ooh, vicious! Troll Doll is my friend, Blaine. He's dating Kurt, and Kurt goes to Dalton too, I think. Either that, or he's ignoring me at school. So you're a big fan of Kim Kardashian? Do you want to be famous, Sugarplum?

Sugar: I know Blaine! I've spoken to him a few times, I'm sure of it, he's coming to see me perform next time I do. I am, she's my idol, everyday I ask myself what would she do. Doesn't everyone? I mean, Daddy's been trying to get me on Keeping up with the Kardashians since I can remember, hopefully this year is the year.

Brittany: I'll be sure to keep my fingers crossed for you, Sugar Motta. And when you finally get there, you can tell them all that you were seen here first, on the web sensation that is Fondue For Two.

Sugar: I will get there, wanna know why? Because I'm a bigger star than anyone, I've been compared to many stars, like Adele, Whitney Houston, Mariah Carey, Aritha Franklin. Just to name a few.

Brittany: You remind me of Rachel Berry. For the viewers out there, Rachel Berry is a loud glee club member.

Sugar: Rachel's annoying, I've spoken to her like once. ew.

Brittany: You still remind me of her. I guess that tells you something about yourself.

Sugar: Are you trying to say that I'm annoying? That's rude, Brittany, you're just jealous I have more IQ points than you.

Brittany: I'm not saying anything. Now I'm going to share a meaningful look with the camera to tell the viewers otherwise. I also don't care about IQ, because I have friends and a girlfriend.

Sugar: I have friends too, everyone likes me because I have money.

Brittany: Maybe everybody just likes your money.

Sugar: No, they like me and my money.

Brittany: Okay. Well, it's been lovely having you, Sugarplum. Feel free to drop by again, and don't give Lord T cigarettes.

Sugar: Thanks for having me I guess, even if you did insult me a few times. it's all good though, because I know I'm talented. Byeeeeeeee.

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INTERVIEW WITH BETHANY PIERCE

Brittany: Welcome back to an awesome episode of Fondue For Two. With me now is my sister, Bethany Pierce. Bethany, how's school?

Bethany: Good.

Brittany: Just good? That seems vague, maybe you're hiding something. Do you have any crushes?

Bethany: Nuh uh. And if I did, I wouldn't tell the internet.

Brittany: That's a totally smart decision. Careful with the cheese, it's hot. So Bethany, what do you think about mom's new haircut? Radical, right?

Bethany: I guess. I have to say it's nice because she's watching this.

Brittany: What kind of a mother wouldn't watch her daughter's show?

Bethany: I wouldn't.

Brittany: Crazy. It's time for the adverts again, Bumble bee. Stay tuned to Fondue For Two.

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INTERVIEW WITH LORD TUBBINGTON

Brittany: Now, my first guest is no other than Lord Tubbington. I guess he's not really a guest, since he lives here, too. But anyways, how are you?

Lord T: [No response]

Brittany: Fascinating. This is already the best interview I've ever done, including the fake one with Tina. Don't you agree?

Lord T: [No response]

Brittany: That's rude and unacceptable. I'm not going to let you be a guest on my show if you're going to insult my friends. Help yourself to fondue.

Lord T: [No response]

Brittany: It's okay, I understand. Now viewers, after the adverts presented by Bethany, I'll be interviewing no other than Bethany. And then Sugar Motta, some girl from the internet.

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Welcome, welcome.

To a new episode (Or webisode as JBI keeps calling it, whatever floats your boat.) Of Fondue For Two. Before I get going with the interviews and stuff, I just wanna make a super special announcement that Fondue For Two is gonna be on every week from now on, which I think is super awesome, and it means all of my friends will get to come on the show. So, if I've met you, and you wanna be on Fondue, then hit me up. Now, on with the show!