foooodformythoughts

[foooodformythoughts]

I freeze when i see you and my heart

Pounds with intensity

Demanding to explode from my chest

Overwhelmed with fear, no, excitement.

And when I think of you

I can’t help but turn the corners

Of my stubborn lips

Into a smile that warms my cheeks.

I want to stare into your eyes forever

Diving deep into the cerulean blue pools

Stopping to hop across the freckles

That speckle your nose.

And feel your soft breath on

the back of my neck

Touching me gently.

It’s too late now and time is up

And my gut tells me you won’t reach

But I’ll still remember the way your

Hair looks in the morning

Or the smell of your skin

Or the anticipation I finally felt

Reaching out to you.

Softly, nonchalantly waiting for your

Roaming fingers to catch me

So at last I can finally

Touch you.

[foooodformythoughts]

The fountains mingle with the river   And the rivers with the ocean, The winds of heaven mix for ever   With a sweet emotion; Nothing in the world is single;   All things by a law divine In one spirit meet and mingle.   Why not I with thine?— See the mountains kiss high heaven   And the waves clasp one another; No sister-flower would be forgiven   If it disdained its brother; And the sunlight clasps the earth   And the moonbeams kiss the sea: What is all this sweet work worth   If thou kiss not me?

Percy Bysshe Shelley from Loves Philosophy  

[foooodformythoughts]

After Dinner Conversation

I dig though the ineffable thoughts in my mind                                                      Frustrated in my own incapability                                                                       While you light a cigarette                                                                                      And cloak me with a clouds of smoke                                                                       In my best attempts                                                                                                The words I’ve been dying to share                                                                       Leak out of my mouth                                                                                             And you stare at me with a blankness in your eyes as if the words I spoke came out in a language you did not understand                                                              The silence is unbearable                                                                            Humiliating                                                                                                                  I get up                                                                                                                  And leave.

[foooodformythoughts]

My thoughts flow most fluently when the light has evaporated . Only under the blueish hue that casts in my room will the feckless pondering of my frenzied mind be put into literate phrases. Alone and uncensored, I allow myself to express through streams of rivers and trains of thought. Most of the time I feel lost amongst the chaos of everything going on inside of me.

[foooodformythoughts]

Introversion

Must it take the effort Of 100 of the strongest men To break apart the shell Which I hide under Protecting me from Everything outside. It is lonely in here Darkness sweeps swiftly In and out through and through Only when I truly fully and really Feel easy enough to extend Will I be able to be who I am, Not the silly surface version of me. But for now, I shall remain sedentary Buried in the basics, Under the canopy covering me From colds cadence.

[foooodformythoughts]

the anger of the sea rages on inside of me

the words I wish to speak to you have hardened in the throat and I can barely stomach the sweetness.

teach me how to spill my words so tenderly

carelessly

until till every word in our language has been used to describe the beauty that is you.

let me unravel all that has been written inside of me

so I may be released from the torture of my bitten tongue.

[foooodformythoughts]

@melisscan

[foooodformythoughts]

is anyone there? it is so lonely in here. the silence is screaming at me

[foooodformythoughts]

He is different than you. Focused more on the experience How intoxicated he can become So much so that he can gain the confidence That he does not have really. He is not to be with you for you go different paths For you think in depths deeper than the ocean While he is riding the waves on the surface Chasing the thrills, while you chase the connection It was fun for a second, but not for long Just a fleeting moment of fun, not wanting to be pushed It was visible in that tension that screamed silently. So why waste anymore time on someone who’s passing by.

[foooodformythoughts]

Unspoken Thoughts

Im studying the exact curvature of your face

Trying to remember each minuscule detail

Before you leave my arms

And i'm erased from your mind again.

While you have built a mansion in my thoughts

Consuming every inch of my being

Filling the empty space in my head with you.

Your last words echoing in my ears

Begging to be spoken by my lips

But unable to leave the comfort of my tongue.

[foooodformythoughts]

The days turn sour and slower each day

Every moment spent simply surviving

The life around me is now dying

There’s not much more to say.

I can’t make out what I try to portray

I just want you to know i'm trying

But everything is constantly tiring

It’s a new battle each and every day.

[foooodformythoughts]

why do I still miss you

years have passed

seasons have come and gone

but I still want you.

and I know you don’t think about me

and you’re happy with her

but is this where our story is supposed to end?

it can’t be. not when I still love you.

[foooodformythoughts]

“This altered state, I have been realizing, this raw and porous tenderness, is closest to grief. How unreal everything feels. How blissful at the same time. How the exhaustion enhances this bliss somehow, as well as this feeling of unreality.”

— — Kate Zambreno, from Appendix Project

[foooodformythoughts]

please, will you stay. just a little while longer.

please, will you tell me not to do it. just tell me i’ll be okay.

please, will you come home. just like you used to.

[foooodformythoughts]

i’m waiting impatiently

for you to poke your

little green face out

for your arms to stretch,

hello! to the world.

it is your time now

to grow, to bloom, to blossom!

let’s grow together,

out of the dirt and rubbish

just you and me.

we can dance in the wind

holding hand merrily

and when it is time

you can finally open

and feel the sunshine

everyone will be envious of you

how bright your colors shine

beauty breaking through

[foooodformythoughts]

I can't remember the last time I saw your face. or even what your voice sounds like but i can still taste your lips on my tongues and feel your touch lingering on my skin.

We sat on that rooftop, with the whole city for us there was only me and you for a second everything quiet, everything still. your face lit only by the glow of the night sky.

I wish i could have told you everything i was thinking but the words never left my mouth no collection of phrases would make you understand and now ill never get to tell you.

[foooodformythoughts]

I wish that you understood

that I didn’t ask to be this way.

and I don’t enjoy it.

and that I want to rip my skin off peice by peice like a puzzle.

and on nights that I wish not to be

here and there wasted amongst the crowd

alone but surrounded. swallowed by the ones around me until nothing is left.

I look forward to that drink. to those drinks. to all the drinks. to help me cope with the human condition that

weighs extra heavily upon myself. until there is so more me for me to worry about. and suddenly it’s not so painfully aware that I don’t fit in here.