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my body is not a temple as much as it is like. a 1999 toyota corolla

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I’m crying over this picture

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the x files is funny because at the time it was “progressive” or whatever to have the ultra-rational, levelheaded character be a woman

but it’s also a show where all the fucked up alien shit actually is real, so she’s just constantly wrong about everything

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This is honest to god the funniest thing I have ever seen in my entire life

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woman yelling at cat meme but make it ancient greek red figure pottery

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I find it absolutely hilarious that after playing the popularised sexy man “James Bond” for what feels like a millennium, Daniel Craig has only now reached tumblr sexy man status by playing a funky southern gay detective with a hubby that bakes sour bread. If this is not the most on brand tumblr thing I don’t know what is

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What do you mean you hatched an egg you bought at the SUPER MARKET

Ohohoho

So there’s this company in the UK, right. They brand themselves on producing fancy free range eggs and as part of that they have breed information written on the carton.

I did some snooping and found that every miracle news story of a supermarket egg hatching in the UK traced back to duck eggs, specifically the Braddock White duck eggs produced by this one company for the supermarket Waitrose.

And one day my mum brings them home and says “I bought these to eat but aren’t they the ones that hatch?”

And it’s spring and I’m hatching a ton this year so in they went.

On candling we had three fertile eggs! That’s a fertility of 50% - the same as shipped eggs from a breeder!

Hatch day comes and we get 2 ducklings, Curie and Becquerel. Sadly, Curie contracts duck septicaemia from an infected navel and doesn’t make it, but Becquerel is a healthy bird and growing like a weed.

I had put 4 breeder eggs in a week after them in case just one hatched, so Becque now has two Khaki Campbell cross friends called Tsuki and Hoshi so she isn’t lonely.

And as of today’s 7am Quacking - Becque is a female! Which means she’s capable of laying eggs and therefore I have pirated a duck.

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I recently came out to my mother's side of the family who are majority conservative christians and it went much better than I expected. Like, they were weirdly supportive. I only got one comment insinuating that I might possibly be going to hell but it came from my aunt and she's dying soon anyway so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. Anyway, I'm telling them how shocked I am and that I honestly thought that they'd have more of a problem with it when my grandma is like "Well you know we've been through this before with your uncle Nicky" and I'm like "what" and so it turns out that my uncle Nick was born a Natalie, came out as a boy at 19, and my great grandma proceeded to pay for his top surgery and hormone therapy. In 1974. And I just had to process for a bit because my entire life no one has referred to him as anything other than he/him and his chosen name. I ask why no one ever thought to mention this and they're just like "tbh we forgot. It's been so long that he's been a man" This man is married. He has a wife and three kids. I ask my relatives how they went about having kids, whether through adoption or sperm donor or what and none of them know. Apparently he just told everyone that they were gonna be parents and then one day showed up at my grandma's house with a baby. No questions were asked. Just. He and his wife had a baby now and that was that. Three times. Weeks later when I finally talk to my aunt Sarah (Nick's wife) all she tells me is that neither of them have ever been pregnant and, I quote, "sometimes you just come into children". She phrased it like people use the phrase "come into money". Like children are something that just happens to you. I ask my relatives if any of them had a problem with Nick being trans at the time, saying I'd understand if they had negative feelings about it, as it was the 1970s after all. They were like "nope" and i was just like "you didn't think anything of it?" And my grandfather was like "these things happen" while the other adults nodded sagely. So I guess the moral here is that if my conservative christian relatives could accept my uncle as trans in the 1970s then there really isn't any excuse for anyone. And also my family needs to ask more questions because I'm fairly sure my aunt and uncle stole their kids.

I’m laughing my ass off at that last sentence- But I’m so glad your coming out went well! That’s one heck of a way to find out you have LGBT relatives.

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thinking about hardison's nana and the fbi. they show up, she invites them in for tea and skillfully dodges their questions. plays up the flustered old lady act and they leave with cookies but no answers.

she raised two high-level hackers, she's definitely on some kind of invented-just-for-her watchlist. they track her internet activity but she posts "how to google" on facebook and nobody's sure if it's real or not (including hardison)

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Unpopular opinion: Being intelligent isn’t an excuse for being unkind.

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when i was a child my dad made up a fake holiday called big sandwich night the weekend after thanksgiving, during which we got the longest bread we could find and built a big sandwich together and then cut it up and ate it. we got really fancy ingredients and each built our own section of sandwich before cutting it. building the sandwich together represents community or teamwork or something. and then we would put our christmas tree up and the holiday season was officially kicked off with big sandwich night.

i grew up believing this was a real holiday that americans everywhere celebrated until when i was like 8 i asked a friend if they were excited for big sandwich night and they were like what the hell are you talking about riley. kind of shattered my worldview. but we still celebrate it and ive spread the tradition to friends and partners.

big sandwiches of years past:

as weve included more people weve started having to graft loaves together to make a sandwich big enough for everyone. but it still communicates the core idea of everyone eating the same sandwich together in fellowship.