forgetmefemme

[forgetmefemme]

“Don’t forget to treat your masc like a princess!!” Don’t forget to treat your masc like a person. Don’t forget to treat your butch with as much respect around their masculinity as they need. Treat them like they’re people, with feelings, with emotional needs, who need care and affection just like anybody else would. You don’t have to infantilize or downplay their masculine identity to treat them well. Try considering instead that masculinity does not equate to hardness, especially not when it’s displayed by a butch or masculine sapphic. Try reframing your understanding of gender within queer expression so that masculinity isn’t scary and yucky while femininity is delicate and desirable. Try considering that masculine queers deserve pampering and love and tenderness and affection, and that you can give them those things without dismissing their masculine qualities. Try giving masculinity as much grace and respect as you’ve been conditioned to give femininity. If you feel the need to distance or invalidate their masculinity because you want a princess for a partner, maybe consider dating someone whose core identity doesn’t involve the expression and embodiment of the queer masculine.

[forgetmefemme]

a non-exhaustive list of butch literature

a (very ad-hoc) list of butch reading and writing, (mostly) by butch authors. books I've read myself in bold; take the rest with a grain of salt. additions, addendums, and commentary welcome :)

general/literary fiction:

mrs s by k patrick

stone butch blues by leslie feinberg

boulder by eva baltasar

running fiercely towards a thin high sounds by judith katz

tipping the velvet by sarah waters

a crystal diary by frankie hucklenbroich

godspeed by lynn breedlove

cha-ching! by ali liebegott

the ihop papers by ali liebegott

greasepaint by hannah levene

lucy and mickey by red jordan arobateau

the bull-jean stories by sharon bridgforth

development by bryher

notes of a crocodile by qui miaojin

america is not the heart by elaine castillo

the slow fix by ivan coyote

the swashbuckler by lee lynch

old dyke tales by lee lynch

sci-fi, fantasy, and horror:

gideon the ninth by tamsyn muir

the unspoken name by ak larkwood

vermilion by molly tanzer

metal from heaven by august clarke

scapegracers by ha clarke

the unbroken by cl clarke

fire logic by laurie marks

non-fiction, memoir, and autobiography:

hijab butch blues by lamya h

gender failure by ivan coyote and rae spoon

fun home by allison bechdel

butch is a noun by h bear bergman

female masculinity by jack halberstam

burning butch by rb murtz

when we were outlaws by jeanne cordova

leaving isn't the hardest thing by lauren hough

odd girls and twilight lovers by lillian faderman

boots of leather, slippers of gold by elizabeth lapovsky and madeline davis

the persistent desire ed joan nestle

persistence: all way butch and femme ed ivan coyote and zena sharman

dagger: on butch women ed lily burana

[forgetmefemme]

Low-key the idea of an asshole perv butch has been killing me recently. Like. Manspreads so much that their knee always has some form of contact with my leg. Ogles me with zero shame or excuse, doesn’t look away when I catch them. Slaps my ass and squeezes my tits whenever they want to cop a feel. Calls me dollface and sugar tits and any other objectifying nicknames they can think of that I probably shouldn’t like but will anyway. Always having an arm slung around my shoulders or their hand on my lower back, or dragging me by my hand so they don’t lose me while we walk, because they want everyone to know I’m theirs. Drags me into whatever alley they want whenever they please to press me again the wall and take a kiss. Leans into my ear from behind and tells me whatever dirty thought is in their mind no matter where we are. Texts me all the time to tell me (not ask) to send a picture of my boobs or of whatever panties I’m wearing. Means it when they say cringy shit like “without me?” when I say I need to shower. Refers to themself as Daddy casually and unironically. Calls me “the Mrs”. Wakes me up in the morning with a hand groping me and their hips grinding into my ass. Takes me wherever and whenever they wants and claims a piece of my underwear as their “souvenir”. Ruffles my hair condescendingly. Buys me drink after drink because they know that I’m more pliable drunk and they can take care of me however they want.

They also have a cliche sweet side that only I know about, but I’m tired so I’ll detail that another day maybe

[forgetmefemme]

i wish romance was real and not just displaced longing for what was missing in the past

[forgetmefemme]

new boots

warning: boot riding, bondage, butch 4 femme, belt collar, fingers in mouth

short blurb on boot riding

steel toed and dark leather with soft brown laces and green soles, i thought you'd like them. my old boots are practically destroyed, i just throw them out and wear the new ones out of the store, they fit well. something about the noise they make when they hit the ground, the thump of the stomp makes me think about how you'd perk up at it. by the time i get to the car my mind is running wild with what id do to you when i got home, when i showed off my new boots for you like the good butch i am.

maybe I'll pull my belt around your neck a little tighter with each swipe of your pussy so you get a little lightheaded, maybe i grip your hair with my other hand and force your eyes up at me so i can see how wide they get when you beg me to fuck you for real. i think you'd want me to tug on it and command you to grovel at my feet with your hands behind your back like a good girl, i think you'd want me to tell you to hover your wet cunt over my boot and take my fingers in your mouth. maybe ill yank your head back by your hair and spit in your mouth so you know who the fuck you belong to. maybe ill grip your jaw and whisper about how good you're being for me. maybe i slap those pretty cheeks instead.

i think about how badly i want to hear you whine and plead for me to let you cum, how you thank me for letting you rub your wet cunt all over my boot. you'd look like such a good slut for me, i think i'd want you to cum without me laying a god damn finger on you.

pulling up to the last stoplight before home and annoyingly straining against the seat belt, just thinking about how good you'd feel, thinking about me sitting over you, arms crossed and brows furrowed at you, eyes dark and observing every movement you have, every twitch and circular grind against my boot. thinking about how my belt would look around your neck, me tugging and guiding your pace, yanking it when you stutter too much or make too much noise. thinking about my gloved fingers in your mouth, down your throat, making you drool and gag around them, wet slobber dripping down my wrist and onto the floor. thinking about me pulling you up to your feet by your leash after making a mess on my boot, about me gripping your bare hips and shoving you into the bed, legs almost instantly spreading and folding open for me like it's all you were meant to do.

finally rolling into the driveway, i park the car and exit with my new boots hitting the pavement. walking through the front door and into the house we share i see you. perfect you, bright and cheery. you greet me with a smile, and i start to take off my belt for you.

[forgetmefemme]

Love being pliable, defenseless and easily overpowered. Too defeated to even think about fighting back. So acclimated to getting used like a toy that the horrific treatment is mundane. It's totally irrelevant if this is causing me pleasure or pain. Maybe if I play dead, you'll be done faster 🥴

[forgetmefemme]

thank pillow princesses for the blessing of fucking them or shut the hell up actually. if you expect high femmes and stone bottoms to reciprocate sexually beyond their boundaries, i’m putting you in the stocks. i’m throwing you in a lake of fire. i’m telling you that you are strange to want something from someone that they are not comfortable giving to you. i’m labeling you as unsafe to have sex with. i’m wondering why you aim to receive sexual gratification by way of guilting an unwilling participant into fulfilling your wants. i am saying that you have very conditional ideas about how consent works.

stone bottoms owe you NOTHING.

[forgetmefemme]

[forgetmefemme]

"Femmes, through a reshaped femininity, exhibit an assertive sexuality that does not conflate desire with political practice. This very assertiveness can be politically empowering for femmes who like to play with the idea of power but are not disempowered by this play. For example, femmes with a bottom identification can renegotiate the dynamics of passivity/activity such that their feminine position is one of receiving pleasure rather than of being receptive solely for someone else's pleasure. What seems to be passivity is actually activity: she allows the butch to control her pleasure, but this control and the pleasure are exactly what the femme has demanded. For the bottom femme as for other varieties of femme sexuality--top, s/m, bisexual, or others--her own female sexual agency is paramount. The femme who plays with power provides a model that negotiates rather than ignores power differentials in relationships. [...] In many ways, femmes' chosen pleasures rather than politically prescribed pleasures are radically feminist."

-- "An Introduction to Sustaining Femme Gender," written by Laura Harris & Liz Crocker. (Emphasis in bold mine.)

[forgetmefemme]

Body writing with mixed insults and compliments. Cutest slut. Good girl. Best girl. Sweetest whore.

[forgetmefemme]

don't get me wrong, i love rough scenes. but, after a hard day, nothing beats submitting to a gentle dom. the feeling of not having to think anymore because they'll make all of your decisions is made all the sweeter because they want nothing more than to take care of you. i want to be dressed in soft clothes, cuddled, and praised. in return, i'll take care of all the little chores they're too busy to get around to and let them use me however they need.

[forgetmefemme]

studying u sexual style btw. tying u up with a vibe and asking you questions and turning it up to reward you when you answer while i take notes about what you said and then turning it back down so u focus on me again and feel desperate enough to wanna answer my next question. and im fully clothed and seemingly disinterested in actual sex and i never touch you or cum i jsut learn everything i can about you. and maybe every once in a while i read u reports i write on u based on the data i gather

[forgetmefemme]

the lesbian needs hierarchy. btw.

[forgetmefemme]

a dom calling me “princess” “my favorite girl” “honey” “darling” “my baby” “my love” yes yes yes that’s meeeee please give it to me

[forgetmefemme]

hypnoslut: look how hard I can relax!! (immediately goes limp like a ragdoll)

[forgetmefemme]

I’m not sure how many people realize that there’s a way in which hurt/comfort is actually very kinky, because at its core you’ve got this emotional power exchange fantasy where one character is vulnerable and helpless and the other takes care of them. In the case of stories involving grievous injuries, where someone is bedridden for a long time, you often end up with two characters in a 24/7 total power exchange relationship without a safeword. It just doesn’t involve as many whips and dog collars.

[forgetmefemme]

I love when characters get that wide-eyed, surprised expression right before their hypnotic trigger activates, as if it caught them off-guard.

Like, say a character was hypnotized to fall asleep whenever he hears a finger snap. One day, he's minding his own business, when someone snaps. His eyes widen before he falls unconscious, as if his brain is saying: "Oh, right! The trigger!"

That face could represent so many thoughts.

Maybe they're thinking: "Wait, I'm hypnotized, aren't I?" Or "Whoa! Why do I suddenly feel so strange?" Or maybe it's just a surge of obedience flooding their brain, and their eyes widen because they just entered trance.

Literally any option is hot. Good stuff.