fortunatehazelnut

[fortunatehazelnut]

[fortunatehazelnut]

[fortunatehazelnut]

i feel like high school/middle school sitcoms set the unrealistic expectation of being able to have lunch time outside

[fortunatehazelnut]

Woah , my garage dog has arrived ,

[fortunatehazelnut]

nothing could ever feel as good as knowing enough cooking fundamentals & flavor pairings to just wing it with 95% certainty that the final product is gonna be good. t shirt that says I ❤️ MAKING A PAN SAUCE

[fortunatehazelnut]

[fortunatehazelnut]

“I was too young to call him a friend, but I had a classmate who snuck up behind a horse and now his body is made of a long time ago. He is the quiet space in my memory where he never sat next to me again. Back then, everyone I ever called a friend held fire in their fists when they talked to me. Their fists were dingy, grime-covered, and grease-slick as if they were made of horsehair, as if they were untamed and lonely, galloping and wind-swollen. We didn’t know how to talk about loss, so we made each other lose. We went to fields to see who could take the most damage. We went to fields that smelled like the boy who became an empty space on a Tuesday morning a long time ago. Now, because I am scared of time and how it moves, I look down at my fists that didn’t always want to, but have hit so many friends that the broken knuckles look like bruised magnolias. Listen to me, Please, when I knock or bang on the table or door and beg for attention. Please, I don’t know how to ask for forgiveness. I don’t know how to let anything go. I don’t know how to say anything else about the boy who had a buzz cut and a flat head, the boy who was kicked in the face by a horse and died looking up at the sky. The boy’s father must have found his son with a crushed face, and while running back to the house with his own son in his arms, must have said something raging and spiteful to God. This memory is my starting point when I think backward and apologize for all of our fists coiled tight as key rings. How could we not break the mirror we look at in the morning? How could we not swing at the different versions of our faces staring back between the fissures? The hurt and mangled parts of us loved the blood dried brown on our skewbald knuckles, and we had nightmares of being reined in. We needed someone to help us change. We needed someone to force us into confronting the uselessness of our violence. But no one came, and our fists swelled unbridled and restless, wild and afraid.”

— SCARED VIOLENT LIKE HORSES John McCarthy

[fortunatehazelnut]

I am always looking to like. get around somebody’s sincere love and admiration for their abuser. you cannot barge or bash through it. the second they pick up a whisper of a whiff of your disrespect you’ve lost them. you will never be the person they call when it really really counts.

[fortunatehazelnut]

[fortunatehazelnut]

tiktok mental health content is like

signs youre dealing with a narcissist. #1: someone is mean to you

why all schizophrenics are abusers

is a DARK EMPATH more powerful than a LIGHT EMPATH?

why YOU should ask your partner of 4 years who has never knitted if they would knit you a sweater (if they say no, BREAK UP! THEY ARE GASLIGHTING YOU!!)

why ALL WOMEN are narcissists #alphapodcast #podcast

top ten traits that automatically mean youre autistic. #1: you have interests and enjoy things sometimes

why bpd makes you evil and how to escape from a (EVIL) bpd person

my mom had this mental illness and also sucked therefore everyone with this mental illness sucks and acts the exact same way. BE CAREFUL!

i filmed my autistic toddler having a meltdown instead of doing literally anything else. please feel bad for me in the comments!

having an ocd moment! #springcleaning #cleaningmyroom

[fortunatehazelnut]

Reach WITH IN To your LOCAL dirt and you may find A Friend And Boy…

[fortunatehazelnut]

Chicken Alfredo Lasagna

[fortunatehazelnut]

Roseate Spoonbill (Platalea ajaja), family Threskiornithidae, order Pelicaniformes, Florida, USA

photograph by Deborah Sandidge

[fortunatehazelnut]

have you ate any fruit today?

[fortunatehazelnut]

Uncomfortable encounter

[fortunatehazelnut]

Clinging

[fortunatehazelnut]

pov you are a skittish horse in the wild being offered kindness for the first time by the farmer's eccentric child who has full confidence that you can be the one to win the big race and save the farm