fourthreeseventeen-blog

[fourthreeseventeen-blog]

040319;

dear jaebeom oppa,

without realizing, the days have easily went by and we are seeing our two years together! i don’t think i can believe it, can you? i am filled with a lot of emotions on this special day for you and i. disbelief that time has passed so quickly. happiness at being able to spend it with you and excitement for the days together i hope are still to come.

i’m thinking about when we first met each other. not when we were preparing for the rookie stage all those years ago. back then, you were only an intimidating senior to me because i didn’t know how happy your laugh would make me or how handsome you are when you smile at me. i’m thinking about when we first became friends. i remember thinking, “what are they getting me into?” what would i say to you? what if we aren’t compatible and i end up being a disappointment? you stumbled into my life just like that and after we started talking, all of those worries just melted away. it felt a lot like reconnecting with an old friend from school, all awkward introductions skipped. whenever i finished schedules, i couldn’t wait to grab my phone and message you and we could talk for hours about nothing and everything.

wah, how did today arrive so fast when it feels like only yesterday we skated together on that cold december night?

memories of our first date are vivid in my mind always. i was so nervous. i fussed over what to wear. i know i’ll regret saying this later because you won’t let me live it down, but i even rehearsed what i would say to you in the mirror. i had butterflies. i couldn’t believe that you had chosen ice skating of all things and that i had agreed to it with enthusiasm. honestly, it sounded like a cute idea at the time because i knew i would have a good excuse to keep holding your hand, until the day actually arrived. i just knew i would do something embarrassing like falling and injuring myself, but you held onto me the entire time. i remember how nervous i was as i held your hand tightly, how happy i was that maybe your heart felt the same as mine did in those moments. you said you wouldn’t let me fall unless it was falling for you, right?

you’ve heard these words from me many times before, haven’t you? i hope you never grow tired of hearing them because i’ll never grow tired of wanting to go on and on about you, so endure it!

oppa~ how do i put my love for you into proper words? i feel so much happiness and affection when i look at you it hurts my chest. it doesn’t matter whether we’re together or apart, i’m always thinking of you. there are so many things that i adore about you that make me fall for you each day and i think, “how is it possible to love him even more?” but you never stop giving my heart a reason to. almost three years ago, i realized i had a crush on my best friend; someone who made me laugh and feel warm inside every time we talked and today, i still feel exactly the same. i love how kind and gentle and thoughtful you are. i love your intelligence and how easily you figure out the twists and turns of any show we watch. your handsome smile and how you laugh without worry of your appearance. your charisma while on stage and your softer, lovable personality when you’re at home. i love that i can talk to you about anything without fear. i love that you never mock my curiosity and endure the endless questions that i have for you because i value your opinion and thoughts. i love how well we understand each other and how we both know exactly what the other will say before its even said. how we can talk for hours and never get bored. i love your kisses and the warm hugs you give me after tiring schedules. and even though i tease you endlessly about them, i also love your greasy jokes and the silly things you do to make me smile. i don’t think anyone understands me better than you do. is that what a soulmate is?

somewhere in between all of our movie nights, late night conversations, and later falling asleep in each other’s arms, i fell in love with the sweetest person alive!

you’re someone who i admire a lot too, did you know that? to you who works extra hard on his music and is always taking care of others before himself, i want you to know that you don’t have to smile when you’re hurting or you’re too tired. you can relax when we’re together and i’ll hold you like you’re always holding onto me. don’t ever be afraid to lean on me, okay? i’ll always support my hard-working boyfriend! seeing how much effort you put into your music inspires me to improve as a singer. you’ve endured a lot and i’ll give your hands a massage after you’re done writing pretty songs late into the night, okay?

i don’t know your expectations of me or our relationship, but i hope i’ve been a good girlfriend to you because you’ve been the best boyfriend to me! with you, i don’t have to always put on makeup or a false smile when my mood is sour. i can enjoy our time together and love you comfortably while being my natural self. over these few years, i’ve matured a lot just by learning from you. i’m thankful to you for sharing your heart with me, i’ll always take care of it well~ i’m also thankful to you for giving me so much happiness. i really can’t imagine you not apart of my life in some way now and everything would be less bright without you here.

wah, i wrote so much and i could go on forever but.. i’ll stop here.

let’s continue to have fun with each other. my love for you is day-1 fresh and i’m confident we will go a long~ way because we’re a great team!

my honeydew, my energy pill, and my person; happy two years. please know that i love you always!

- sooyoungie.

[fourthreeseventeen-blog]

040319;

dear sooyoungie, 

  we both know who’s the memory keeper in our relationship (it’s you) my 10mb brain can’t handle much but it’s filled with you. maybe i don’t remember a lot of significant things in our past, which i always regret but you have never made me feel bad about it. you’re always there to patiently make fun of it, sigh a little and then give me a gentle reminder. technically, you could make things up and i would believe you. i’d always believe you (within reason). i never thought i’d be one of those people who can connect anything and everything to their significant other but i am. there’s never a day that goes by where something won’t remind me of you. though this is our 2 years officially as a couple, our 2 years as friends has long passed. i don’t say it as often as i used to but you’re my best friend, as well. 

joie-ah, i have met many people and it sounds cliche but none of them compare to you. none at all. since i met you, i could tell that we would become good friends and when i fell in love with you, i knew that i could never have found a better person to love. you’re the most understanding person i know. you’re so kind even if you like to annoy me sometimes, or maybe a lot of the times. i remember long ago saying that i didn’t think i could be a good boyfriend to you or am a good boyfriend to you and as much as some part of me wishes to still be better (because you deserve everything in the world) you have never made me feel like i wasn’t. 

  in these 2 years i have loved you more than i thought it was possible to love someone. you’re my inspiration for every love song i’ve written since being with you. i sing them all with you in my mind. what i can’t convey with these words, i hope you see through those songs. 

  i never thought that i’d experience such happiness that i have for the past two years. generally, i don’t use the word happy to describe myself but when i’m with you, there’s no other word i’d use to express how i feel. 

i miss you all the time when we’re away from each other but no matter how long it is till we can see each other again, my love for you never changes. i know we’ll be able to pick up right where we left off and i feel like a lot of people get insecure being away for so long but i’ve never thought that your feelings might change. we always have new things to tell each other from wherever we were. there would always be something there to remind me of you. even if the distance between us is great physically, you always feel close to me. since i’m letting myself be completely sappy in this letter, you’re close to my heart no matter how far apart we are. 

the confidence i have in our relationship, in my love for you and your love for me is unparalleled. the way you know me like no one else does. we’re like those annoying couples now that can finish each other’s sentences and read each other’s thoughts. the amount of times we say the same thing at the same time is scary! you know what i’m going to ask before i ask it and it makes me smile when you know me so well. even if sometimes i tease you a lot, you take it in stride. i hope you know that i’m never intentionally saying anything bad about you or even thinking it. no matter how much i praise you, it’s not enough. there’s no way i can put into words just how amazing you are and how much of your love you give me. 

did i tell you that i can never get bored of talking to you? i probably did. i have told you most of these things before. it’s the same as 2 years ago that i can talk to you about everything and anything. our conversations still go from one place to another because i can never run out of new things to tell you. we still tease each other the same way. the only thing that i think that has changed for the better is you not copying me anymore… those were dark days. i know you find it hot when i get mad at you but you have to find other ways. FIND OTHER WAYS. i am getting mad just thinking about it. i bet you’re really enjoying that. 

i once said that we’re in the honeymoon phase a long time ago. and guess what! it’s still the honeymoon phase. we’re on a permanent honeymoon that others could only wish they had. 

  now let’s talk about that body… my thoughts when i see you: that’s my beautiful girlfriend. the sexiest woman alive. the cutest girl in the world. her smile lights up my world. my face when i see you: cannot stop smiling. i think i constantly have heart eyes around you. i’m probably good at hiding them, or at least i try but with the amount of red velvet joy fancams i play, am i doing a good job at it? i let myself act like a fool around you. a fool in love with a goddess, a fairy, a breathtaking beauty. 

i don’t know if this meagre letter can say just how much i love you. i don’t know if i can ever express the feelings inside me properly. despite my shortcomings in a LOT of areas, thank you for always loving me. i hope you feel as loved by me as i feel loved by you, or at least half as loved as i feel. thank you for making me feel like my best self and not someone who requires a bunch of changes to be loved. of course, we all make compromises for the one we love but i have never felt that i changed a big part of me or made any significant changes i didn’t want to make for the sake of you. being with you everyday just makes me better. 

park sooyoung, thank you for making me the happiest person in this world for the past 2 years. i love you so much and i can’t wait to spend many more years together with you. i’m proud of how much we have grown together, as individuals and as a couple and though we’re not the most traditional or perfect couple, we’re still the damn best. 

  here’s to many more years to come with you. 

yours, 

jaebeom (oppa)