foxkidd
foxkidd
The Jelly Fox
122K posts
Roll for initiative! they/them or it/its // I just really like foxes ovo
Last active 60 minutes ago
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foxkidd 5 hours ago
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What gets me about the Mastercard/Visa shit is this:
You are at the grocery store. You pick up a nice, girthy zucchini. You head over to the oils and pick up a thing of olive oil. Then a packet of condoms.
Satisfied with your selections, you head to the cashier. As you place the items on the conveyor, a voice shouts: "DON'T SELL THOSE! THAT'S GOING UP A BUTT!"
And then for some reason, the cashier agrees. Then the guy who shouted, this fuckass guy in a suit, marches up to the counter and starts demanding that the store never sell any vegetables that could be put up a butt. He starts out pointing at the zucchinis and cucumbers and carrots, but you heard what he said: he's effectively banning every vegetable, just enforcing it selectively.
You ask the cashier if he's corporate or something. The cashier says no. The manager? No. He works here at least? No.
Who the fuck is he, then?
Well, the cashier explains, he's the bank manager from the next street over. He's taken up a moral crusade against vegetables that might go into rectums and if they don't obey him, he won't take anyone's paychecks or any money from any store that opposes him. And his bank is the only bank in the region, so it'd be a huge hassle for the business and the employees.
And somehow this dumb fucking scenario is real.
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foxkidd 7 hours ago
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we need 2020s false supremacy back so bad it鈥檚 a wasteland out here
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foxkidd 7 hours ago
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falsesymmetry should just be allowed to kill people i think
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foxkidd 7 hours ago
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Axolotls aren't real they were invented by the ocean queen to sell more oceans
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foxkidd 7 hours ago
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your mutual is a bite risk
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foxkidd 8 hours ago
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what if we were a demon boy band and we all ran like goofy guys? haha jk...unless? 馃
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foxkidd 8 hours ago
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inherent gay need to redesign my bedroom every 3 months
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foxkidd 8 hours ago
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absolutely hate it when the pleasurable activity procrastination hits. i鈥檓 going to do something fun that brings me joy but not yet. yeah, not yet. not yet. maybe i shouldn鈥檛 do it at all, it鈥檚 not that fun
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foxkidd 9 hours ago
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THEY'RE A BIG HAPPY FAMILY!!
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i was planning to stop at some point but my mind went SIKE you're adding 10 more...
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foxkidd 16 hours ago
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VERY important research happening here today, folks. 馃馃
BONUS: Tell me your favourite dinosaur in the tags. ( b ._.)b
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foxkidd 16 hours ago
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it鈥檚 actually wild how terrified of the general public most usamericans are. like you don鈥檛 realize it if you鈥檙e someone who mostly walks and takes transit and spends a lot of time in populous public spaces but then you talk to one of the thousands of people that seemingly never set foot in any public space besides a parking garage or a starbucks and you suddenly understand why it鈥檚 so easy for fascist rhetoric about the dangerous alien to take root. this country鈥檚 median voter pretty much never interacts with strangers who aren鈥檛 their coworkers or people they met on dating apps
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foxkidd 21 hours ago
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Yuzu Kato: Borrowing from the Tiger's Majesty (2022)
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foxkidd 1 day ago
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why is this framed all cutesy??
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foxkidd 1 day ago
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foxkidd 1 day ago
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funniest way to watch the dsmp god i wish i was her
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foxkidd 1 day ago
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foxkidd 1 day ago
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oh this is so TRAGIC i can't deal with this.
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