foxxiauddi

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Any and all donations, help, good vibes, prayers from whoever you believe in is greatly appreciated.

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I’m not alone in this?!?!!! Other people have been through this. I’m so happy that I’m crying

hey since I just told a friend this and they found it helpful: if you’re having hallucinations and are having trouble distinguishing what’s real and what’s not, use your phone’s camera and take a picture of the thing you might be hallucinating. cameras don’t hallucinate.

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this 50′s hungarian comic strip I’d never heard of until now is so damn cute for something that also gets so horny

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had a dream last night that my alarm was connected to twitter and everytime i hit snooze it publicly tweeted it with a disparaging little message along the lines of “filthy horrible boy has slapped the screen again, and slumbers on” so that your followers could shame you and i was deeply, DEEPLY humiliated but that did not stop me from hitting snooze upwards of 14 times

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a conversation i had with a 96-year-old woman

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fastpass reader here. trust me bb. you are gonna LOVE chapter 80 ❤︎

MY BROKE FOLKS WE HAVE SOME HOPE AT LAST!!!!!! FINALLY THE RICH COME BEARING GOOD NEWS

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Moss Graffiti: A How To Guide

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These Before and After Photos of Parents After Having Kids are Hilariously Real

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I was singing this two weeks ago right before I saw the first Halloween decoration. This expresses so much of how I feel every month, including Halloween.

:/

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GISHWHES 2014 List of Items

For those of you who can’t access the GISHWHES list on the official website, here’s the rebloggable tumblr backup. It will be useful in case of apocalyptic disaster (i.e. the official website crashes). Includes item numbers and point values. I will update this post when important amendments are revealed. The item list might not be easy to find anywhere else after the hunt ends, but this post will stay up indefinitely, for the purposes of nostalgia/reference/general minionly misconduct.

Happy hunting, Gishers! Be brave!

[ see also: 2011 list // 2012 list // 2013 list // 2015 list // 2016 list ]

Keep reading

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When I was a kid, my mom was a judge and my dad was starting his solo practice, and they both worked full time. There were four of us kids between the ages of one and seven (the Just Us League) and no decent daycares nearby, so they hired a nanny.  She had three almost-adult children, and on days when she couldn’t work, one of her kids would substitute. The oldest kid was named Bob, age 18, and he had just finished army basic training when this all went down. Bob did not have the good sense god gave a rock. 

I have an older brother, Jake, who was seven; then me, Hellen, age five, then Seth, age three, and my little sister Gin would have been one. It was late August, and we were at our nanny’s house, though she was gone for the day. Bob was in charge.

Bob should probably not have been in charge.

Bob tried keeping us entertained with board games and tag and movies. Gin took a nap. Eventually he decided to get creative, and sat us down in the living room with a game and vanished into the garage. There was a smashing sound. And then some saw noises. And then some hammering. And then we saw him going around the house to the back yard through the windows, though we were too short to see what he was doing. And finally, he yelled to us to come out into the driveway. 

Jake and Seth and I trooped out. Bob had both hands behind his back. He stepped up to Jake and revealed what he had in his right hand. 

It was a wooden sword. It was clearly made from what appeared to be parts of a chair’s legs, cut down and nailed together. He presented this, and announced, “You are Sir Jake, the strongest knight!” 

He stepped up to Seth and presented what was in his left hand. It was another wooden sword, smaller than the first, also crudely made out of chair legs. He announced, “You are Sir Seth, the bravest knight!”

At this point, I was practically vibrating in place, waiting eagerly for my sword so I could use it to whale on my brothers, as god intended me to do. I was therefore understandably disappointed to be presented with the business end of a garden hose and told, “You are Miss Hellen, the Water Fairy!”

“No,” I said. “I want a sword.”

Bob was confused. “But you get water magic! Magic’s great!”

“No.” I repeated, holding the hose. It had a spray nozzle set to jet. “I want a sword.”

“Magic’s great. Magic’s better than a sword.” Bob insisted. “You’ll see. Wait here a moment.”

And then Bob ran around the side of house and vanished. 

We stood in the driveway. Jake and Seth poked each other with their swords. I spritzed them idly with the hose, trying to decide which of them would be easier to steal a sword from. 

And then we heard a quiet wooshing noise, and smelled smoke. 

We turned. As we watched, a line of fire rushed around the corner of the house, consuming a path of gasoline poured into the dry August grass. 

We paused and considered this for a few moments. I raised the hose and sprayed a jet of water at the fire. It went out. We glanced at each other. Then we took off running, following the trail of fire, spraying as we went. 

The fire led in a path around the house to the back yard. As we turned the corner, we saw Bob, clad in a bathrobe and holding a curtain rod, standing in the center of a large ring of burning grass. He cackled manically. “I am the FIRE WIZARD! Your puny swords are useless! Nothing but water magic can defeat me!”

I promptly blasted him with the hose. He spluttered. The fire did not go out. 

I turned the hose on the fire itself, spraying a section close to us so that it would extinguish. As soon as there was enough room, Jake charged forward, brandishing his chair leg sword with a battle cry. Seth, always happy to be included, followed. They ran into the circle and began beating Bob around the kneecaps with their swords. I kept spraying. 

Eventually, Bob the Fire Wizard was brought down and all the fire was extinguished. Seth and Jake continued to work on bruising Bob’s shins, and I quickly discarded the hose to lend my fists and extremely pointy elbows to the cause. Bob lay in the smoldering grass, probably regretting using such sturdy chair legs. 

Once we’d all tired ourselves out and lay panting in a heap, Bob decided it was time for the moral of the story. “You see, a sword is nothing compared to the power of a little girl with **magic**.” 

We thought about this for a few moments. Bob nodded wisely. Jake and Seth nodded back. 

“I still want a sword.” I said. 

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This is so powerful and courageous. Police all over the country are pulling this despicable shit. They’re supposed to be protecting and serving. Monsters. 

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I’m just curious to see

I want to _____ you.

reblog and see what your followers say

Interesting..

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Don’t need a team, just saying hello to fellow fishers. 🌊

Any of my mutuals Gishing this year? My small, for the fun of it team has one slot left to fill. We’re mainly based in Tennessee but we have a couple of international members as well. If you’re interested message me.