freakinnsquirrel

[freakinnsquirrel]

NEW MERCH AMBER ALE ALERT!

Dear guests of Freak Inn Squirrel, We've been booked this season (like always), however this has been one of our best seasons ever now that we are introducing our official F.I.S AMBER ALE ALERT tshirt! So far it comes in unisex Gildan tshirt Heavy Cotton but we might include sizes for the little chipmunks too! You can get it here in our official hotel boutique for only $30! In peace, Patches Ferret Resort Manager

[freakinnsquirrel]

Meet Fez, our Bell Bottom of the month. (Sorry we meant to say Bell Squirrel). He will be the face of our new F.I.S postcards for Christmas 2023 that we will give to our lovely guests and residents. Here comes your man, Patches, Ferret manager.

[freakinnsquirrel]

Magazine Issue 1: Halloween 2023

Halloween tour happening now with your tour guide DJ Patches.

Bookings are going fast so don't miss your chance to get a seat in the limo :)

[freakinnsquirrel]

New Keys Look!

Dear squirrels of F.I.S and future animals, Please take a moment to admire our beautiful redesigned keys because you will be carrying those throughout your stay. We scan your key at our casino, pools, spa, nightclub, and pool bar. Enjoy! Please smoke on designated areas. Patches, Management

[freakinnsquirrel]

Sunday Special: Tom Yum Soup

Hi there squirrels of our half full Freak Inn Squirrel Resort. Today's special comes as a special request from my Koala brother, who just got his hair cut for $30 at the local hair cuttery of Tacomai Island. He now looks like a modern soccer player of the future casino days.

In love, Patches, Manager of F.I.S

[freakinnsquirrel]

"Standin' on the porch of the Lido Hotel Floozies in the lobby love the way I sell" Hi squirrels and rats of the Resort! We have reached Caturday so please join us at the main lounge area for a live vinyl set featuring DJ Patches. We will be serving rotten dragon fruit mojitos made with cilantro and guava paste. In tune, Freak Inn Squirrel Management Currently spinning "Willie the Pimp" by Frank Zappa from his record "Hot Rats." Click here if you want to sing along.

[freakinnsquirrel]

FIS Rules and Guidelines

We only accept Mastercard as form of payment.

Personal checks are only accepted if the party is bigger than 10.

This is a “only responsible adults” hotel that means that if you have an inner cool child inside or with your spouse that’s fine, however, we don’t accept immature shenanigans. 

If you display ANY kind of shenanigans YOU WILL BE EXPELLED FROM OUR HOTEL ON YOUR FIRST STRIKE.

Once you lose admittance to our resort you won’t be back. (Sorry we have a long waiting list and don’t have time to surveil you).

Sorry for our expensive rates, this hotel is very high standards.

If we reject you don’t feel bad, there are many nice hotels around the world waiting for your transactions!!!!

If you need guidance on hotel etiquette please google “shitty things not to do on hotels” (it’s pretty obvs)

Respectfully and in peace, Freak Inn Squirrel Management

[freakinnsquirrel]

Pitaya Podrida

Hi there squirrels and current party of sharks staying at Freak Inn Squirrel. This is an announcement to let you know that we just got the juiciest of all unripe rotten dragon fruits delivered today straight from Mexico.

Please visit our chef Pepper for a full menu of happy hour cocktails and desserts made with the tartiest flavors of our island's trip with Mexico.

In tact, Patches, management of Freak Inn Squirrel.

[freakinnsquirrel]

Boy Scouts Reston 35mm photo collage with Reston Recreation catalogue clippings 55x74 inches

[freakinnsquirrel]

I got invited to the black cat but decided to stay home. #tacomaiislandrecords

[freakinnsquirrel]

F.I.S Thursday PSA

I don’t know what happened, so I’m writing this from my phone. News came to me that they’re keeping my ferret laptop at school so I will pick up tomorrow.

Today I had to work on Freak Inn Squirrel headshots for the high school boys and girls animal scouts of tomorrow.

It went well… please keep ids handy cause if you lose them we have to reshoot.

Anyway, day ended and I was smoking a ziggy at the entrance and all of the sudden… I made a squirrel face :,, (I don’t know where that came from). It was a ferret surprise to me that I do, indeed, have some squirrel dna. And not any kind of squirrel, I mean a squirrel doing flips on bmx bikes with one thousand books falling from her head. It was wild!

Anyway I made it to my room suite 204 to Jazz, and we played with the little poor purple bird for a while but I guess it’s a little outdated now and we are now all craving more rats. :)

Lesson of the story: rats will eventually come if you know how to frame them lol

Let’s wait for the rats.

in truth,

Patches ferret dreaming a little bigger than yesterday. Oi oi oi oi!

(Kola bear thank your printing up the pamphlets)

Tomorrow breakfast: beans, cheese, scrambled eggs, bacon, and little hash brown cubes.

PS: if you wanna smoke a J there’s an area for that.

[freakinnsquirrel]

Store has been updated with the special of the spring/summer 2023 collection

Hello squirrels and flamingos of Happy Hour (that's the crowd right now). Like promised, here is the scoop! - Koala bear and Patches ferret

[freakinnsquirrel]

Tomorrow's Special

Here in Freak Inn Squirrel we do love to celebrate. So heads up, tomorrow is biblical. While Hamz recuperates from his hang over, Jazz and I will be making strawberry jams for those in need.

As you may or may not know, I am full grown ferret who likes to live at large. That means that you are in for a treat. With the help from my koala brother we will post the final cliff notes tomorrow.

What a dream!

Saw lights and too many bad statistical choices. But no one cares about those. :D The tote and the command will be popsted tomorrow.

Have a god damned holy night guests.

Patches at large aka management

PS - office is not 24hrs lol. So make your calls wisely.

Cheeeeeeeez!

[freakinnsquirrel]

Welcome.

Hi there squirrels of the world. Here is deaf patches writing some musings from the east far side of the couch,