freespiridid

[freespiridid]

“I’m sick of how bisexuality is erased in LGBT spaces. I get really nervous before any LGBT event, especially Pride. I feel incredibly sad and hopeless when gay and lesbian people call me insulting names. If gay and lesbian people don’t understand me – Continue reading Prejudice at Pride at Empathize This

[freespiridid]

[freespiridid]

We discovered a new alter. Not new but like just found them.

His name is Ernesto. He's a factive of a friend of ours from the 7-8th grade. Not going to lie, I didnt remember him until he peaked out to say hello and introduce himself. All the memories sort of flooded back into the mind and it was like i unlocked something.

He has an accent, like Nesto had. It doesn't sound right coming out of the body, but we're learning that it's okay. We all have different voices but the body has one voice box, so we get what we get.

Kinda like Yzma in The Emperor's New Groove. "Is, that my voice?"

He was brought forward because we've been nonstop playing runescape and he really enjoyed that game growing up. So he was more inclined ro introduce himself, but then he felt uncomfortable about being known about and now he's been lingering. I love feeling his energy.

I think it's going to be time to discuss my insecurities soon cause Nesto was inlove with us at that age and i have reason to believe he might have been created cause someone saw something in us we didnt really see ourselves and desperately wanted too.

Anyways. Just wanted to share.

[freespiridid]

A re-telling of our most recent traumatic response.

As we were sitting in bed the other night, something fell off my eyelashes to my shirt. When my eyes adjusted, I saw it was a spider!

I took a deep breath and tried not to panic, but mt husband saw the panic in Rup's eyes and immediately reacted. By doing what we always do -in the house, we leave creatures alone in their outer habitats- but noooooo.

I guess somewhere at some point the kids decided we no longer wanted to hurt creatures indoors either, but we didnt alert the rest of the head/household because the next reaction was an intense one.

I believe Elsie, age slider, little, began the meltdown but i believe we were feeling Ollie's feelings quite strongly as well as the others kids. Ollie is 3, mute, communicates internally by thoughts and feelings. But the entire body began panicking and we were blubbering out "fix it. Please fix it! He was so little! We didn't want to hurt him! Please. Please please. I. I cant fix it"

I'm tearing up writing and recalling this. The heartbreak waa incredibly intense and all we felt was pain and destruction. We felt fully to blame for having killed it and wanted desperately to fix it.

Our husband tried his best by apologizing and explaining that it wasnt us who killed it and that we will do better moving forward, but man the pain was incredible. We couldn't shake it off. We cried it out and wailed about how silly it was. How we knew we had hurt other spiders but THIS one was so tiny and a baby and didnt even have a chance and... Man. It's still hard to feel it. It was was pain we couldnt control.

I often say i dont have DID... Explain this? Dont actually try. It's DID. If you dont think so, why are you here? On a DID page?

[freespiridid]

reblog if ur bi, ur not biphobic, or ur best friend is a beautiful valid bisexual

[freespiridid]

I fucked up today and upset a friend of mine. We fucked up weeks ago but today it came to light.

As a system we took full responsibility for our alter's actions. We know it was a misunderstanding withing the system, but to others all we can so is apologize and allow my friend to be angry with me.

I hate this. No one meant to hurt anyone. We just have addicts in our system. However, it's no excuse. We messed up.

[freespiridid]

I feel like I cant hear anyone. I feel like I'm just imagining things, but how does that explain me doing work but then not remembering?

Or remembering but it's like someone's just retelling the experience.

I have therapy today. I need help

[freespiridid]

I dont know the original creator. Please inform me if you do so I can credit them properly

[freespiridid]

Today is hard for me.

How is it already March again? Our last split was last year. Some day in the upcoming months time frame. This is fucking with my reality.

Being forced to stay in. Okay, we weren't forced but i give a shit about other humans wellbeing. Stay home and stay masked when you're out.

This dystopian lifestyle is unreal. Yet, it's the reality that's canon?? Excuse the fuck out us. What!?

[freespiridid]

[freespiridid]

I'm Paloma, like right now. Im 27? But like i know the body is 28. So I'm 28?

Look, i stopped being host last March on the way home.

I told the dude sitting next to me that I was just dying cause I partied way too hard the night before and that it wasnt COVID... Now i dont know, but after that interaction...

I dont remember shit.

Like, look. I know we're still existing and I've been caught up to speed but the explanation is weird... It's like... i didnt stop existing? Cause in here i was still cool with liz and thinking we were doing the same thesis project with the same committee chair...

But we arent? Lmao

Like. I get it. We've been... I've been told the situation now and I dig it, but... What the fuck.

Like... Who's been piloting this hoe? Lmao they made some good ass changes. But I'm still salty? I guess. Idk. I dont know what feelings are mine anymore. It's strange.

But we're getting school work done. Well we hit a wall lmao. Idk. I need to. Sorry I'm becoming super self aware rn and I'm go na depersonalize if i dont stop

I need to go ground myself.

[freespiridid]

I only know about these alters from my therapist, husband, and journals.

There isn't memory of them as like fact memory, but as if is being told me by others. Usually Artem

[freespiridid]

I showed off my work to some friends. They all loved it and cheered it on.

One friend said "not bad, can i critique?" And now we think it's ugly work and we must have fucked it up somewhere.

Gotta love it.

[freespiridid]

Migraines suuuuck post switching.

We kinda used the switch till it was dry. We've been trying to get work done for our grad project for weeks so when Paloma the school brat came forward... We didn't just capture 12 frames and stop... No no. .. we asked her to finish the sequence before leaving again.

Should we share the stop motion animation on here?

[freespiridid]

A rant about my mother//

Just sitting here thinking about my mother, and how she still has this control over us. How she still has me sitting here caring about what the family might think of her, but... But she's out there telling people, like my baby nephews, that I randomly called her one day to tell her how horrible of a mother she was and that i broke her heart so ahe doesnt want them to speak with me. Or god knows what to my godfather who decided to declare on his Facebook status that he missed me and would hope i would contact the family, as if I'm some deranged lost pet. Fuck these people.

My mother walked out on my life the day i decided to tell her I was bisexual and engaged to my long time best friend now transgender life partner. I was willing to admit my faults. I was ready to accept I hid from her for more than 7 years. But no, she threatened to kill me if i didnt leave my husband

"Yo, te traje a este mundo, y yo te saco hina te do pinche madre, que soy yo! Tu sangre sobre el okay? Que no se te olvide quien a estado ahi por ti"

"I brought you into this world and I'll take you out of it you son of a bitch, that's me! Blood over him, okay. Dont you dare forget who's always been there for you"

Yeah, not the woman threatening to end my life for being happily engaged...

I don't want to be silenced anymore mah dudes

I am not ruining my mother's reputation. She did that her self with everything she did to me. She's doing it right now spreading her lies through my family.

But i dont need to prove myself to anyone. Not her God, not her, not anyone.

My system needs me. Needs to be free of them. Of her. I'm not ashamed of the life I was forced to live... cause now we really feel free.

//r

[freespiridid]

The awkwardness of wanting to go back to the inner world but you’re stuck with whatever’s going on

[freespiridid]

It’s either everyone has an opinion or I don’t here from anyone the whole session