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one of me and my brothers favourite bits to do is pretend we're cavemen seeing modern things for the first time. like an airplane passes overhead and i go 'caveman' and we both point and stare at it pass with gazes of abject horror and disbelief like we're about to experience the rapture and have seen the closest thing to god we ever will
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there's a stage in sandwich consumption where it's falling to pieces & you're desperately cupping it in your hands & it's like this poor wounded animal that is covered in mustard & wants to die
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Another year of my in-laws discreetly insulting me :') I lost weight recently, and to insult me after I went down from size 22 to size 18, they gifted me a size 30/32 for Christmas :))) almost double my current size!!! I have never been more than size 22 in my life!!! Thanks :)))))))))) Starting my new year off triggered and not wanting to eat for the next 3 months!! Happy new year!
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Apparently my stepdad and I are fucking psychically linked because ?? every single time he makes chili for dinner I get a migraine. Without fail. And it became like a ha ha running joke because it happened so many times but now I’m living 3 hours away from my parents and I just texted my mom and

WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME
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*pokes you with my doctor stick as you lie face down on the ground*
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man i have GOT to do this thing. *doesnt do it*
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Maybe trying to quit smoking during the most stressful time of year wasn't the wisest decision.
The horrors persist.
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