fromthosewhorunin

[fromthosewhorunin]

21 weeks

We’re 21 weeks today and it’s also my 27th birthday.

My current assignment is desk duty. It’s a major change from working graveyard patrol, but I will do anything to keep our boy safe. I will miss those late night code 3 runs, finding narcotics on people, early morning dinners with my shift and just goofing around when there was some down time.

I’ve had little complaints through this pregnancy. Some slight nausea and recently some swelling in my feet, but it’s all part of the process and it’s all a sign that our boy is growing.

Luckily I’ve still managed to remain physically active, whether it be walking or a modified CrossFit WOD. We want this birth to be easy as possible and I want to be ready to welcome our son into this world!

[fromthosewhorunin]

How will you work?

When I first told my friends that we were trying to have a baby, a handful of them asked… “Well how will you be able to work? Will you have to quit?”

I immediately said, “No, I’ll take maternity leave like everyone else…” But then I got to thinking… why the fuck are they asking me this?

Do they not think I’m capable of doing both, patrol and being a mother? Are they being just as sexist as some men that I work with… and these friends are fellow mothers and also have full time careers! I’m no different from them.

The next time you feel like asking a FEMALE police officer if she is capable of being a mother and a patrol officer… think twice, because she’s doing more than you ever will in your lifetime. SHE CAN do whatever she sets her mind to.

[fromthosewhorunin]

When you’ve dedicated so much…

Today one of my best partners got let go from my department.

He dedicated his life to the United States Marines and his Police Department. He was outspoken, worked his ass off and didn’t take no for an answer. All while being compassionate and courteous of his coworkers and citizens of the city.

Without going into detail, it saddens me that the very agency he loved and worked for would do something like this to him. It proves to me that you cannot trust anyone or anything other than the ones that are closest to you most… your family.

[fromthosewhorunin]

💪🏻

[fromthosewhorunin]

Austrian wrestler and police officer Michael Wagner

[fromthosewhorunin]

[fromthosewhorunin]

[fromthosewhorunin]

My new hero is the police officer dancing with the kids at the one love concert omg

[fromthosewhorunin]

Those boots!

[fromthosewhorunin]

[fromthosewhorunin]

Davis Cone - Cinemas-Metro_with_Police_Car

[fromthosewhorunin]

[fromthosewhorunin]

Losing Your Child on Duty

I’ve contemplated posting this over and over, but I want other women, men, mothers, fathers, friends to know that they’re never alone. So, with that being said, Gilbert and I lost two little angels this past year. It was by far the worst thing I’ve ever had to go through. And 2017 was by far one of the biggest challenges I and we as a couple have had to overcome.

Not hearing my child’s heartbeat anymore was the my crushing thing I’ve ever had to endure. So many emotions that went through me all at once; hate, guilt, envy, sadness, but mostly anger. Anger because there are so many deserving people out there that deserve to be parents, but have that stolen from them. Meanwhile others that are “unfit” are being given that chance. It’s not fair.

So that leads me to my next thought... everything happens for a reason. Does it? Or does a horrible chain of events just happen to really good people? I’m still trying to figure this one out. Sometimes I think things do happen for a reason, but other times I feel like bad things happen to amazing people.

Then there’s guilt. Guilt that I’m failing Gilbert. My body is supposed to function and it’s purpose is to make these little humans... why isn’t it working properly?! But then I remember, whatever happens, gilbert loves me and he will never stop loving me. We can and will do this.

I could go on and on about what we went through but what I wanted to leave here was hope. If you’re reading this, thank you. If you can relate or are going through the same thing, please know you’re not alone and that there is someone here to listen. Don’t hesitate to reach out. Much love.

[fromthosewhorunin]

#gunsnhoses2017 #gunsnhosesanaheim #smpdstrong