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fujo-loserr · 7 months ago

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For your fic recommendation post, how about a reincarnation where Dipper ends up as a new low level demon? Why would you even think to look for your husband here being a very dysfunctional demon when he should be over there with the humans?

Everyone knows not to mess with Bill Cipher.

Mostly, that's not hard to accomplish. The King of the Nightmare Realm tends to stay in the Fearamid penthouse these days, spying on his pet planet for weeks at a time. Barely anyone sees him to even start getting into trouble.

The flipside of that is that the definition of 'messing with' is a lot broader than normal. It's not like the old meaning, which ranged from 'outright sabotage of his plans', or 'getting too close when he's in a bad mood'. Because he's always in a foul mood. The average demon might end up being flayed skinless, or rent limb-from-limb, just by 'being around in the wrong moment' or simply 'talking to the guy'.

Dipper - and he's aware of the irony in his name, thank you very much - knows so, so much better than to do any of that.

Luckily, there never was much opportunity. The chances of a low-level grunt like himself running into the literal master of this plane of existence are slim to basically none - and he'd like to keep it that way, forever.

Even being hired two months ago to keep an eye on some of the Fearamid archives didn't seem like a big deal, when for all accounts Bill really only kept the thing as an amused collector rather than an active participant.

Honestly, Dipper should have known that couldn't last.

It's a chaos realm, for crying out loud, and he's been manifested for a little over two decades. You'd think he'd be used to it by now.

Only two days ago, his boss - not a major player herself, but uptight as hell - informed him with no small amount of pride and terror that the Big Boss was coming around for a tour. Or an inspection, or just looking stuff up, some kind of idle whim. So things better be ship-shape, perfectly organized, and very entertaining - because she was going to be conveniently on Beach Planet Zeta for the next year, far away from any blame.

As Dipper goes over the stacks of scrolls and shelves of books , he flicks his tail around nervously. it catches on his ankles, curling around one briefly until the tuft nearly slips into his shoe.

'Organized', she said. 'Entertaining', she said. Like that's possible in an archive larger than Dipper's whole existence.

With a long sigh, Dipper gets off the ladder and shoves it back with one wing. It slides easily down the row of shelves until it bonks into another, sticking out at an oblique angle and twisted like a pretzel.

Like friggin' anything in this awful place is less than a total goddamn mess.

Who knows? Even If he did manage some categorization system, it might only piss Cipher off more. Word is he's pretty petty about non-personally-made changes.

Not for the first time, Dipper really wishes he hadn't taken the job. Sure, it pays gold, and keeps predators off your back - in exchange for the worst one of all hanging around, ready to bite your head off at any moment.

He takes another look around the mismatched, non-euclidean shelves. The entire place emptied out hours ago, leaving him the only being in the place.

Now that he thinks about it... Fleeing actually sounds like a really solid plan.

The more he considers it, the better it sounds. Getting out of this place, avoiding being turned inside out and used as a wall hanging, taking a break from thankless, meaningless busywork. There's pretty much zero downside. Why hasn't he done this before?

Dipper casts another glance along the shelves, and the cubbyholes for scrolls. The massive compilation of knowledge, spread out like a banquet in front of him.

Okay, he knows why he took the job. Besides the relative safety and room and board - Nobody cares if he reads this stuff, and there's so much to learn.

So yes, fine. The library's cool. But nowhere near cool enough to die for. A break will do him worlds of good.

An empty library will annoy Cipher - but there'll be nobody to take it out on, and odds are he'll go back to his planet-staring once he got bored with the hunt. Relatively safe, all things considered.

With his decision made, Dipper sets down his armful of scrolls on the nearest desk, and turns towards the entrance.

Just as the double-doors to the library slam open.

Bill Cipher storms in like the force of nature he is. He wears the human-shape he sometimes favors, handsome and strange, and his expression is like an oncoming thunderstorm.

Great. Right on time. Which means The wrong, worst, most inconvenient time. Dipper's heard that's Cipher's favorite.

It hasn't picked up his mood, though.

By the look of things, Bill Cipher's in exactly the same mood he's been for decades. Which is to say: Bad.

Though that's a bit of an understatement.

Still, this is Dipper's job, and he's pretty sure he's been spotted by now. He scrambles to pick up, to look useful, and not at all like someone who nearly panicked and threw something at the intruder's head before recognizing them.

As Bill strides into the library, he barely glances at the shelves or the books or any of the decorations or chairs. He forges his way forward, kicking over a table and quickly crossing in front of Dipper.

Dipper swallows, tucking his wings in closer and hoping he isn't sweating.

Here it is. Bill's 'tour', or 'inspection', or -whatever he's actually here for, Dipper doubts he doesn't already know every inch of the place.

But he better at least try to do his job, or things could be even worse.

"Um, hello." Dipper starts. "My - uh, lord? Or, is it just Bill, sorry I didn't get any-"

Without even turning his head, Bill puts one hand up in his direction and unleashes a blast of blue fire.

It blooms large up against the shelves, nearly scorching several leather volumes, rising up near one of the dangling chandeliers, and leaves ashes and pure heat spreading across a ten-foot radius.

All of this, in less than a second. Then Bill stalks onward, muttering under his breath. He barely even paused to pull that, and it was a lot of power.

Dipper blinks for a second, hand still upraised.

Then he coughs once, and lets his arm drop.

Faint wisps of smoke rise from his clothes, his hair blown back from a burst of heat - but nothing's caught fire. There's no pile of scrolls in front of him, and the carpet's a total loss.

But he's undamaged. Amazingly. And he sure as hell didn't have to be.

Thank hell, that was a warning shot. Weird, but hell, he's not gonna question it. No reason to look a gift demon in the eyesocket.

"Okay, cool," Dipper says, quieter as he takes two steps back. "I'll just, uh. Leave you to it."

Bill whips back around and stares.

He blinks a couple times himself, looking almost... surprised?

In the next instant he's almost closed the distance between them, nearly in arm's reach. His eye roves over Dipper, looking him up and down, lingering on his twitching tail, the wings tucked close to his back. Spending long moments meeting Dipper's own, tracing the shape of his face like a touch.

There's a faint magical feeling about his gaze, too. Something that feels almost bright, but internally. A faint buzz inside Dipper's chest almost like a tug.

Dipper smiles, trying not to meet his eye, rubbing the back of his neck. Shuffling awkwardly in place under the sudden scrutiny.

It's funny, but now the distance between him and the nearest cover seems miles away instead of mere meters.

Especially when the look on Bill's face has totally transformed. No longer a massive roil of misery - oh no. Those clouds have lifted to reveal another mood entirely.

Now Bill brandishes huge, wolfish grin. There's a twinkle in his eye and some pep in his step, as he smooths out his suit jacket and brushes back his hair. A little spot of preening that feels out of place from moments before.

And his smile has a hunger behind it that Dipper doesn't like the look of at all.

With a nervous laugh, Dipper takes a step back. Then another when Bill matches it, grinning even wider.

"So, cool, you probably know your way around and - oh, wow, look at the time," Dipper says, checking the watch he doesn't have. "It's basically lunch break, so I'll just. Uh." He swallows. Bill's taller than him and he has an amazing ability to loom. "Go."

And with that, he reels around and breaks out into a run.

The long and winding corridors between the shelves make a complicated maze. Getting lost in the library is easy. Demons do it all the time without even trying, wandering the labyrinthine paths without any hope of escape. Part of Dipper's job is cleaning up their bones.

But if you know your way around, it's also great for escape. Dipper got the feel of the place within days, and he's rarely missed a step since.

All he has to do is find a nice, quiet corner, and hole up there for a while. One or two of the more distant alcoves have some snack bars and water stored up in case of angry visitors, they'll be pretty safe. A day or two, three at most, and Bill will probably forget all about him.

He turns a corner, intending to find the closest reading room - and runs right into Bill Cipher.

There isn't time to stop his momentum. Dipper collides with his chest and nearly falls as he reels backward in the next moment, flapping his small wings for balance.

"Well, well, well," Bill says, loud and amused. He seizes the front of Dipper's sweatervest, pushing him none-too-gently up against the nearest shelf. "What have we here?"

"I.." Dipper freezes. He moves to one side, but Bill's other arm slams up against the books, blocking that route.

His gaze flickers around, looking for another way to escape. But Bill's caged him in and the shelves have shifted. Now there's only one route out. And it's behind his captor.

"You're a new face 'round here, kid." Bill says cheerfully. He tilts his head to one side, letting go of Dipper's clothes to tilt up his chin. "Where'd you come from?"

"I- whu-" Dipper splutters, before figuring he might as go for facts. "You hired me."

Bill's gaze doesn't budge, though he does blink once.

"Okay, technically one of your Henchmaniacs did. Two months ago, when you put out those help wanted things." Dipper squirms, pressing back against the shelves. One or two poorly seated books get knocked out onto the floor with the nervous twitching of his wings. "The pink one said I'd be a good fit, and that everyone would get a kick out of it, which I hope she didn't mean literally, but -"

Before he can continue, his face is taken in both Bill's hands. Dipper stops mid-sentence, going still.

And Bill presses his cheeks together, squishing his face with a big, big grin.

"Oh man," He says, with a sigh of pleasure. "I am buying Pyronica so many drinks."

What the hell. Dipper can't help but glare, grimacing against the groping.

Okay, at least the touch isn't painful, which Dipper's grateful for - but it is really annoying. With a bit of struggling he gets his face back, rubbing at it with one sleeve.

"Easy, kid. You're fine. In fact, I think she had a point!" Bill exclaims, clapping his hands together. He looks Dipper over again, a long and lingering trail. "We've got plenty of the party types around. No shortage of mooches looking for a drink!" He raises an eyebrow, looking pointedly at Dipper's, admittedly, kind of dorky clothes. "But what ya really need in a library is a nerd."

"Uh." Dipper hesitates, then settles on. "Thanks?"

It should be insulting. Still kind of is, really.

But facts are facts, and yeah, Dipper is kind of a nerd.

And if Bill Cipher thinks that's what he wants working in his archives? Great. Dipper's job - and life - are just that more secure.

Even if it does come with some pretty weird looks. Like the one Bill's leveling at him right now, beaming bright and just. Staring.

Then alarmingly, his hand darts out towards Dipper's tail, nearly catching it until he flicks it out of grabbing range. That gets a frown, but only a brief one, as Bill shrugs and settles for seizing him by the wrist. A quick pull has him stumbling, then trotting to keep up with Bill's suddenly quick pace.

"Where are you taking me?" Dipper asks. A tug doesn't get his arm back, but it doesn't get ripped off, either. Hopefully that's a good sign.

"What, not obvious? We're going out to lunch, kid!" Bill says with aplomb, and more cheerfulness than Dipper thought he was capable of. He winks at Dipper, grin wide and white and wild. "We got a lot to catch up on!"

#billdip #gravity falls

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fujo-loserr · 9 months ago

Text

random sfw billdip headcanons (⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧

headcanons below the cut (๑◕◡◕๑)

🌲 - dipper often reminds bill that he’s human and will die eventually, to which bill either scoffs, claiming he’ll just drag dipper back from the afterlife, or outright avoids the topic, unwilling to even entertain the idea.

⚠️ - bill loves showing off his vast knowledge of the universe, but dipper constantly questions and challenges him, which secretly delights bill because dipper’s curiosity is one of the things he adores most.

🌲 - dipper spends nights pouring over ancient texts and magical lore, while bill lazily hovers over his shoulder, correcting dipper’s translations or making fun of the humans who wrote the texts.

⚠️ - bill’s idea of a date is often something surreal, like visiting a nightmare dimension or exploring dreamscapes. dipper complains at first but ends up being intrigued by the strangeness.

🌲 - dipper is prone to overthinking and insomnia, so bill, who doesn’t need sleep, often floats around the room narrating absurd dream stories or weird facts to help dipper relax.

⚠️ - when they argue, bill tends to get loud and dramatic, sometimes altering reality to prove his point, while dipper stays calm and logical, which drives bill crazy.

🌲 - dipper has a fear of thunderstorms, and although bill doesn’t fully understand why he would be afraid of something harmless, he awkwardly tries to comfort dipper, sometimes making the thunder quieter or altering the storm to be less frightening.

⚠️ - bill will sometimes alter reality slightly, like changing the color of the sky to match dipper’s favorite shade of blue or making stars form constellations spelling out embarrassing messages of love.

🌲 - dipper struggles with trusting bill fully, always keeping one eye open for tricks, but deep down, he knows that bill wouldn’t harm him at this point—if he wanted to, he already had plenty of chances.

⚠️ - bill often has fantasies of apocalyptic scenarios where he and dipper rule over a broken world together, though he’s never shared it with dipper because he knows how much dipper values the world’s stability.

🌲 - whenever dipper has a nightmare, bill immediately senses it and dives in, reshaping the dream into something less scary, though he often makes it weird and chaotic instead.

⚠️ - bill gets incredibly jealous when dipper spends too much time with other people, making passive-aggressive comments or causing minor reality glitches as a sign of his displeasure.

🌲 - dipper constantly acts as bill’s moral compass, reminding him that not everything needs to end in chaos or destruction. this creates a strange dynamic where bill tries (and often fails) to tone down his destructive tendencies for dipper’s sake.

⚠️ - bill warps time whenever dipper is about to miss something important, like giving him an extra few hours to finish a project or study. dipper gets annoyed because it’s technically cheating, but he appreciates it.

🌲 - dipper sometimes struggles with the moral implications of being in love with someone as dangerous as bill, but he ultimately decides that love isn’t always black and white, and his feelings are genuine despite the risks.

⚠️ - bill constantly tries to make deals with dipper, offering outlandish rewards in exchange for little things like affection or time together. dipper always refuses, but bill keeps trying, purely for fun.

🌲 - dipper isn’t afraid to call bill out on his more questionable behavior, and though bill laughs it off, dipper knows that bill respects him more for being able to stand his ground.

⚠️ - bill struggles with human etiquette, often forgetting small social norms. dipper has to remind him not to laugh maniacally in public or avoid turning a small argument into a reality-warping event.

🌲 - dipper finds it hard to express his deeper emotions around bill, knowing that bill thrives on control and chaos. but in rare moments, he lets his guard down, and bill responds with surprising tenderness.

⚠️ - bill tries to cook for dipper but ends up using ingredients that are barely edible. dipper appreciates the effort, even if the food is... questionable.

🌲 - dipper’s natural curiosity sometimes drives him to ask bill questions about the darker aspects of the universe. while bill is more than willing to indulge, dipper always keeps a careful boundary between curiosity and crossing into moral grey areas.

⚠️ - bill sometimes reads dipper’s thoughts and responds to them before dipper can even say anything, which dipper finds both unsettling and endearing.

🌲 - dipper has become so desensitized to the supernatural that bizarre occurrences, like reality warping or bill’s eldritch transformations, no longer faze him.

⚠️ - bill often hints at his ability to make dipper immortal, teasing him with the idea of an eternity together, though dipper isn’t sure if bill is serious or just messing with him.

#billdip #gravity falls

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