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claiming it
ok universe, i’m ready to feel good things. make me feel good things.
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raven symoné with louis vuitton takashi murakami white monogram purse
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A good few days
yesterday was really nice, I went to work and did a lot of errands when I got back home, I cleaned my room, showered, cooked dinner and washed clothes. Today was also very productive, I started my day kind of late though lol. I smoked and took a 4 hour nap so I wasn’t exactly on my time table. I started my homework, which I will finish on friday and cooked dinner. It was so good holy fck. I am still worried about paying my rent for this month, I really hope I make enough money to pay it, I have next months rent coming up too so I’m not really looking forward to it. But for now I am happy and I had a good day and I’m not letting my financial problems get to me. Tomorrow I want to apply to 2 new jobs, do a bit more homework and I’m going to get a check up at the clinic! I just want to be successful after all that has happened to me, and I’m actively working toward that now.
To good health, good deeds, and a better financial situation! :)
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Starting Over
Am I finally fed up with myself? Probably not. I say this because I never change, I never do what I say I will and its so annoying. I am lazy, a procrastinator, unhealthy, and bad with money. These are all the things I want to change but don’t. I always ask myself why and blame it on the fact that I’m unhealthy that I don’t have the energy. When I’m the one doing this to myself. I need to wake the fuck up and change fast, I want to be successful, I have goals and dreams and aspirations. There’s so much inspiration around me, so many people doing the things they love and being the person they want to be. It’s frustrating how much I sabotage myself. There are a lot of things I need to get over and unpack, there are a lot of things I need to do and change, there are a lot of things I need to give up. I don’t know when or how I will do these things but I’m sick of living this way. I WILL change today I WILL be the person I want to be and I WILL succeed by any means necessary. I call upon the strength of the universe and (my) God. The strength and willpower within myself that I know I have. To get up off my ass and CHANGE.
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inspo 02/19/18
I’m feeling so nice today, so inspired and happy and I literally have no idea why- I mean okay yeah I have an inkling but it still is random to feel this content and powerful. There a lot I could be, or should be doing but why am I not? I have the energy and I am happy in this moment so why am I not getting anything done. I really just must be a lazy person lol.
maybe I should wikihow to not be a lazy person anymore...
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Back to the Basics
I don’t know where the heck I’m going. I think I’m trying to get more in touch with my creative side? Creating content and putting out things that I like for other people to see is something that I’ve always wanted to do. Sometimes I still feel like I’m having an identity crisis, like nothing I do is mine and I’m just copying others. I don’t want to be this way, I want to be my own person and have my own style! I’m still fumbling around and I don’t know exactly who or what I want to be just yet but I do feel like I’m taking those first steps to find myself.....
I say all this to say I can’t wait to cut my hair again lol, I’ll be one step closer to the true nienie!
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*doesnt receive attention for a period of time* i mean i get that NOBODY likes me but y'all could at least have the DECENCY to say it!!! say it to my face!!!!! tell me u hate me its ok i already know!!!! i am prepared to be absolutely DESTROYED by everyone i know and love its ok!!!! dont hold back on my account!!!
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Jan 1, 2017 @ 7;27 PM
Today was really unproductive lol. But I didn’t mind it actually, I worked out today and I’m planning on doing so everyday. I really hope to accomplish my goals for 2017...I’m excited for this year. I actually think 2017 won’t be that bad. Today I ate 2 bags of chips, an apple, and I had a caprisun and water! I think I’m going to make a bowl of mutli-grain cheerios next. They aren’t they bad! They’re actually really good!
Anyway, today my emotions were really relaxed. I stayed in my room all day and watched videos/ surfed some apps. It’s one of my favorite things to do..be alone. I don’t feel sad when I’m alone. I’m actually pretty calm! Which is what I need a lot of the time. My friends are smoking and I’m not going to join them tonight..I think I’m going to let go of smoking a bit....it’ll save so much money lol. Tomorrow I don’t plan on doing much as well..work out again and straighten my room. Also get things for school ready, I didnt do well at all last semester, which I’ve come to terms with completely!!
Welp, here is my first blogpost! I hope to do this more often, like everyday....talk about my feelings and vent/rant to..myself I guess lol. If you know me irl please don’t ever bring these post up!
I hope you guys have a goodnight..whoever read this..if anybody lol. See you tomorrow!
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