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harry potter books rated by the mention of swans

philosophers stone: no mentions. 0/10

chamber of secrets: fawkes is described as the size of a swan. a heart stopping moment. 8/10.

prisoner of azkaban: no mentions. 0/10.

goblet of fire: fawkes again mentioned as the size of a swan. just as exciting as the last time. 8/10.

order of the phoenix: fawkes once more mentioned as the size of a swan. a happy occasion as always. cho's patronus is a swan. a thrilling and heart warming moment. 10/10.

half blood prince: no mentions. disgusting of a book this size. 0/10.

deathly hallows: when neville opens the portrait of ariana the portrait is said to have 'swang open'. When the only mention of a swan is inside another word you know it's a bad read. 1/10.

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this is the good bubbles of anti-hellsite

reblog and your dashboard will be protected from drama and bad discourse in 2017

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my ceiling fan has been clicking for months now and im starting to think the clicking is morse code intended to subconsciously reprogram me to be sad and tired all the time

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more baby animals here

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grimes invented pokemon 

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A post shared by Bigmac(AKA Sandy Nose Pup) (@bigmacthelabrador)

“Play with me😆”

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How Amazon reviews go:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ “This is the best thing I’ve ever purchased in my entire life. Customer service rep was like family. Delivery time was 16 minutes, condition is perfect, and it has lasted me 20 years.”

⭐️ “Ordered a bed frame and got a pack of plastic knives instead. Customer service told me to fuck off. Delivery lasted 7 years. Caused a divorce. Lost my house. I am now going to jail.”

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me in crisis mode