gaeul-ssi

[gaeul-ssi]

The Female Protagonist

I guess we are all a supposed to be our own leads in our own lives. However, is it just me or does any one else feel like they are just a supporting character in their respective said lives?

[gaeul-ssi]

I like you...

Romantically, I have never really told it to anyone , nor has anyone ever really said it to me. [Not really sure if I can count a New Year’s confession on an online role-playing encounter, and I’m not really sure if it was meant IRL or RP]. If it does count then it’s only happened once. Maybe I’m too average, or maybe I should just finally put these thoughts behind me, let it go, because maybe it is just never meant to be. Maybe I’m not gonna be someone’s someone. Maybe I’m supposed to be the one with no one. If he’s out there....somewhere......

How far apart are we? 

I reside on an island practically in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Are you half way across the world and we both don’t have the means to get to each other? I make enough to get by because of the way the economy here is built, but what about you? Are you just like me, struggling to get by? Are you worse off? Are you well off? Are we closer than we think? 

[gaeul-ssi]

I'm just gonna come out right and say it. I've kept my opinion to myself through all this for quite some time, and if y'all don't agree with me then so be it. We are all entitled to our own opinions. Some share and some don't. So be as is it may.

Anyways.

I'm sure you all know what this will be about (if you even decide to read it all, your choice not mine to make)

Why are we all trying to control others when in reality the only person we have control of is our own self? The constant mandates, borderline threats, get nowhere; at least in my opinion they don't. I know I have no control over outside factors and I know the only person I can control is myself. I decide if I want to go left or right in whatever fork in the road that comes by me. We sink or we swim, right? I have always been a firm believer of "you make your own decisions in life so you have to deal with whatever things come after" So get the COVID vaccine, or don't, I for one truly do not care whether you do or don't. Government and EVERY Politician in the nation are trying their best to guilt trip you into getting it, which isn't right in my opinion. If you want it to be a choice, then LET IT BE ONE. No incentives, no if you don't then face the repercussions of not getting one. Nothing at all. LET IT BE A DAMN FUCKING CHOICE FOR PEOPLE TO MAKE. So, I truly don't care if people decide to get it, I don't even care about the reasons behind them getting it or not. To each is own man so fuck it and leave it be.

We let healthcare deem and decide our ENTIRE economy THAT IS CONSUMER DRIVEN. Now look where we are over a year later? What have we lost? (I don't mean just lives and I don't necessarily mean any life is less significant in any way, that's not what i mean here) But seriously look at all that has been lost. I'm not a sheep, I have my own opinions. I decide to do things on my own and face whatever comes my way cuz hey, shit happens, that is fucking life. no way around that. We are letting one part of what our economy is, decide for us. But it's the job. If you don't like it then maybe you need to reconsider and get the fuck out. I get people are stupid (not can, are/ people are stupid) yes they may not have the knowledge you have. THERE IS AND ALWAYS WILL BE SOMEONE BETTER THAN YOU. It's a never ending cycle. I still don't understand why all of a sudden with Covid, healthcare professionals got all this power. Let me explain some of my logic to all this madness before I go any further.

What do we do for the flu each year? We get a flu shot, which in reality is ALWAYS a hit or miss. In the US alone, we lose 10s of thousands to the flu. Hundreds of thousands get hospitalized each year. Any given flu season, we don't shut the entire economy down. We don't do these mandates, lockdowns, nor do we say the yearly flu shot is mandatory. We only have a years worth of statistics, at least supposedly. But how skewed are what we are seeing? The positivity rate is just that and nothing more. Testing positive doesn't mean you are or will be sick, it's just a pass/fail test. The amount of hospitalizations count to some degree, but handling the sick is what a hospital is responsible for doing. The news just want to scare you with these numbers they report, it's your choice to bite the bait or not. the fatality report, can we believe it? Personally, I don't fully believe how they report fatalities. Contracting covid, recovering (no matter how severe), you later on die, is considered a covid fatality. Yeah they talk about long haul covid or whatever it is. SO yeah maybe you can still count it, but if they had underlying conditions, how are we to be sure and how are we to determine that what they died of was of covid and not whatever was underlying?

I'm for choice in all aspects of what it entails. Get it or don't and live with your choice because it is YOUR choice.

Thank you for reading my TEDTalk.

[gaeul-ssi]

Poems & Words

[gaeul-ssi]

I found a new app.

Lets see how this goes.

I used to meet many people on tumblr, but it's not the same. At peast the rp community isnt the same as what i once knew

Lets see how this new app goes.

[gaeul-ssi]

Poems & Words

[gaeul-ssi]

Whether you read this or not, whether you know I mean this for you...

I just don't want you to think you have to settle because the circumstances. If it's what you want and you're happy with your choices then by all means. I'm not one to stand in the way, but if you are letting the circumstances dictate your choices, then I would suggest you reconsider. I don't want to sound like I'm nagging or repeating things that I have already said before. I'm not trying to say you should reconsider your choices either and yes like I always say; it's your life, your choices to make and you must live with whatever you end up choosing. All that matters is that you can accept your choices, not because of the circumstance, but because it is what you want.

The discount is decent, better pay is always nice, a job has to offer you medical by law or something to supplement for you to get your own, but all of that comes second to what you want to do.

I sound preachy, I know. I just don't want you to think because of your situation, you have to seclude yourself. Yes, it's scary. Yes, it can be risky, but life is all about it. If you constantly play it safe, you'll miss out on something that could have been better. You can think of countless outcomes to one situation, both positive and negative. It is whichever one you think should be the outcome that will be. If you think the better outcome, then the trails before will lead you to it. If you think of the latter outcome, then that too will come. In the end you have to be willing to take risks to get to where you want to be.

If you can live with the choices you leave for yourself, then by all means, go for whatever makes you happy.

We all have to live within our means and at the same time try to strive to better ourselves. I'm not perfect, in fact no where near it. It may sound like I have my shit together and that I've got a good head on my shoulders, but I don't. Sometimes you have to be a little more headstrong and willing to take risks. You don't have to leave a place of employment to find something new to try. There are always ways to work around it, if you truly want a backup plan.

I could go on and on, but I think I should stop this here.

[gaeul-ssi]

I have so many things running through my mind I don’t know where to begin...

I have so many things running through my mind I don’t know where to begin...

I have no idea where or what I would want to focus on, there’s just so much going on around the world; whether it be politics, the election in November, the pandemic, unemployment, school, life, just everything. There’s just so much to take in and my opinion on most are likely the opinion no one wants to hear nor do they care about it. I use this medium, because people don’t know me hear and I don’t want those around me, to attack and get mad for me having such opinions on things because their opinion differs from mine. I don’t care about having differences in opinion, what I do care about is being told, you can’t talk to me no longer because my opinion so far differs from yours. So what if it does? I don’t think those we are close to are supposed to share similar opinions on everything. If we are all the same, doesn’t the conversation get boring or wouldn’t it eventually? Maybe that’s just me and what I think.

There are so many things I want to talk about, that I don’t know where to begin, I don’t know what exactly I want to address, but there are things.

[gaeul-ssi]

This might make people mad...

As said, this may make people mad. I may come off as a cold-hearted bitch so really read at your own risk. I have my own opinions about what is going on in my community, around my country, and around the world. I don’t expect everyone to agree with my view, but I please ask that you do not attack me, because my point of view doesn’t agree with yours.

I put “read more” to give you the chance to just ignore it and keep scrolling. I really ain’t trying to bait anyone. Please don’t hurt me.

Now on to what I mean when I say that this might make people mad. You notice by the tags as to what this is about which is the ongoing global pandemic of COVID-19.

I see so many people who grumble about wearing masks when they are only grumbling about having to wear it while they shop or other things. There are people that work, that have to wear it throughout a shift and a shift can range from anything from 1 to 24 hours. I work in hospital and it has to be worn at all times. Before I worked there I worked at a retail pharmacy establishment and my hours ranged anywhere from 5 to 9 hours in a day. My face feels moist, I feel gross, and I break out, BUT I am not grumbling that I have to wear it. In an ideal society, those who are able should be the ones to bear the burden for those who are not. Babies, children under 2 years old shouldn’t, those with heart problems, asthma, and any other respiratory issue, really should not be wearing masks because for them it does more harm than good. Yes, even at times I feel crappy wearing a mask, but I will bear that because I know that I am of able mind and body to so. I know to take responsibility of my own actions. I hope that by me doing so, I am leading by some example and that people would follow.  However, to all those Karens and Kevins in the world that want to pitch a fit and its all “my body, my choice” kinda attitude. Okay your body, your choice, I do agree, BUT in this case would I only agree, because only in this case would I think you would be able to be held accountable for your actions. If you choose to not wear a mask for those who really shouldn’t but have to because you just want to suck, then I think you should sign a waiver that if you were to contract it and require hospitalization, that you won’t because it was your choice to not take precautions. There are people more deserving and following all rules and regulations that they can, that should take precedents over your choice to be selfish. 

My body, my choice, then why do you get to decide for your child whether to vaccinate them or not, when it is their body. Yes you brought them into this world and you can take them out, but it is still their body, so their choice, or am I wrong here? Because they are not of legal age, and don’t know any better, then they don’t have a choice until then. Anyways this is another issue entirely.

Really all it comes down to that I want people to take responsibility for their shit. No mask when you are well able to, then fine you take responsibility of being at risk of contracting it. IF you get it so bad then you don’t deserve the right to treatment because it comes down to you not taking the necessary precautions that all officials have been urging. There are people that are more deserving than you to take up that hospital bed.

Continue to social distance, wash your hands regular, sanitize, and wear masks. We all want to be safe during such uncertain times.

The solution cannot be worse than the problem, so we all need to get our acts together, take responsibility of our actions and choose a side we want to be on.

[gaeul-ssi]

Fairy tale:

I put “read more” because I do not want you to have to scroll through my random posts that really don’t mean much

Wouldn’t it be just wonderful, to meet your idols and one of them fall for you? Would that not be a story that comes right out of a fan fiction? All we can do is dream and wish, maybe some of us can be so lucky. I mean, if only right? I’m too much of a home body and the only way i really spend by time is by working and being at home. I seem to always have to be out on “purpose” like some kind of errand to justify me having to go out. I don’t know why I need to justify my actions to myself, but it seems like I do. I don’t go out, to just go out, because I would rather be with my dog at home, doing absolutely nothing but naps and whatever else my heart desires.

Anyways back to topic; it would be straight out of a fairy tale at least to me to meet a famous person and we hang out, get to know each other. To be honest I’d be really fine with just being friends with a famous person. Not to necessarily brag but to just have that really cool person in my entourage, you know? It would be straight out of some fan fiction if we were to happen to fall for each other. Can you imagine being able to be living every fan girl/ boy’s dream of meeting their idol and falling in love? I am not one to like the lime light, in fact, I really don’t take compliments well, so if I were to put that into my perspective, I would likely hide. Like the idol/ celebrity/ famous person, could say he was dating, but I really wouldn’t want to reveal what I look like. All I see is that people in this world are full of more negativity than positivity and because I think of myself as such an average being, that all the comments would say: 

“he could do so much better” “why is he with her” “she’s not even pretty” “what did she do, blackmail him to be with her” “he probably only pities her”

Something along those lines. Which yes it’s only words, but I really don’t like the limelight anyways and would rather hide than be known. Maybe it’s just me, but I would think a lot of people’s dreams when they are part of the working class, is to marry rich in the sense that they have enough to survive, enough to do what their heart’s desire and live comfortably. I don’t mean fancy house, clothes, cars, I mean living comfortably in the sense that you aren’t worried about rent, food. or really anything.

A girl can dream though, right? That maybe her knight in shining armor is handsome, popular, well off.

[gaeul-ssi]

“Your task is not to seek love, but to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

—

[gaeul-ssi]

Typical Kdrama or any drama scenario really:

You know when you are of working or lower class and you meet someone basically born with a silver spoon and born into a class way higher than you? The scene where their relative be it whomever takes care of said rich kid comes to you to offer you a circumstance that leaves you no choice but to leave for their betterment?

This is when you come back and they ask you why you left without a word.

What would you do?

I’d want to give them 2 answers and they can decide what is true.

1.)  That their relative wanted to do away with me. They thought I wasn’t good enough for you and I see their point, logistically you were born into a wealthy family while I did not and my parents just like myself, work for what we want in life. They tried to offer me money, but rather than lose my dignity taking it, I left without it and went on my own way. I came back because the work I do required me to. (whatever job would make me relocate)

2.) I was only in it for the money. They offered me a lump some of money and to take it and leave so I left. I never truly liked you and only liked you for your money and what you could do for me. You proved no longer a valid option for me so I left you. 

I would leave it in the hands of the person that claimed they loved me so, to decide which option they wanted to believe in. 

If someone offered you more money than what you could dream of would you take it? I don’t think I need to lose my dignity when someone comes at me like that. That and money doesn’t buy everything, it buys most things. There are many people that pass up opportunities because they are content and happy where they are in life and honestly, if you are content and happy where you are, then you shouldn’t have to change for anyone else.

You don’t configure yourself into what someone else wants from you, You become who YOU choose to be and no one else. If you are ever unhappy with how things are, it is up to you to change your circumstances. 

I’m sure this scenario is infamous is most dramas. But if you feel like answering, hit me up in the mailbox (maybe it doesn’t work I’m not sure it is always empty LOL)

[gaeul-ssi]

Wear a mask

Aloha y’all.  Since this is a medium of me getting things off my chest and venting, read if you want but all things said are my opinions alone. 

Well as the title says, “wear a mask”

I really don’t understand what’s so hard and why people are making things more difficult than what they need to be. I get the whole “it’s my body things” but people don’t seem to get that business have the right to refuse service for whatever reason. So in all reality, no one can get mad at an employee tell you to leave because you refuse to wear a mask. Most places now say at the door “No mask, no entry” or something along the lines of a mask or facial covering required to enter the store. If you plan to make drama about wearing one when you go places, have someone do your errands for you and just don’t go out. You just make things difficult through already difficult times when you choose to go somewhere and pitch a fit like a 2-year-old.

Despite of how helpful they really are, the reality of wearing a facial covering is so you prevent things from spreading as much as possible. Every little bit counts towards something, even if it is really minor. A simple cough into open air could spread whatever germs that person has. Wearing a mask, stops at least some particles from leaving, despite how little, since it depends on the mask. If it’s an N95 (which are hard to breathe in [in my opinion]) you know that wearing these types of masks stops 95% of particles from going out or in your mask.

I also don’t like people who grumble when they only wear it for 15 to 30 minutes out of their whole day. I work where I have to have a mask on at all times. Most nurses and doctors wear them for 12+ hours in a day. How do you think all these people feel, that have to wear it continuously throughout days on end? 

I know I for one, don’t really care for wearing a mask, BUT I make sure I do my part in helping the community to try and heal, at least to an extent.

Do not think so selfishly in regards to wearing a mask. Do it for those that shouldn’t. The people 60 years an older, the people who have preexisting medical conditions that truly shouldn’t be wearing a mask. (people that have heart disease, asthma)

The whole point to masks in my eyes is like HERD immunity. With HERD you get the vaccine so that those who cannot vaccinate are safe. We wear the mask to keep others safe. To keep you out of the hospital. We all know a hospital is not where you want to spend you time. The food isn’t always the greatest because it is always the healthiest food for you.

In order for the economy to open, people need to be more responsibility and claim responsibility.  How much more must people have to repeat the following:

“Wear a mask” “Keep social distance” “Don’t go out if you are sick”

We all hear it everyday, because we are failing to do so. There wouldn’t be such a large spike if people would adhere to what people are saying. 

This is truly a community effort and we must all do our part.

So please, Wear a mask, stay home if you are sick, keep social distancing as much as possible.

**If anyone reads through this, I will be surprised. I really don’t expect anyone to want to read my opinions, but I just needed to get this off my chest; at least to some degree, because I am just tired of all the complaining I hear and see. Let’s all stay safe.**

[gaeul-ssi]

Art by Surendra Rajawat

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Poems & Words

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Poems & Words

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Poems & Words