gaipirates

[gaipirates]

[gaipirates]

Right in the middle of Aisle 12 gazing at the summer squash, Captain Peter realized life was indeed better without a dance belt.

[gaipirates]

Ye Captain didn’t know.

Could it be two cans of SPAM be too much or not enough? Did anyone even know what SPAM be? Me read the label and it explained nothing. It felt funny for it to fall in the middle of something regaurrrrrrdless.’

Ye Captain paused to stare down thar two cans of SPAM before looking back up.

Arrrrrg! Was that middle ground even there mateys when ye be staring straight at it? Should we not be looking gayly forward? That be the real question.

Upon finishing his remarks he Captain caught a watchful eye.

Oh. BTW Gerald. Ye hair looks absolutely delightful gray. It be nice to see ye embrace… well, ye. Maybe…

Ye Captain cut his thought short.

…well it be nice. Me leave it there to bend and pick up. Thar fringe be vurrrry short.

[gaipirates]

Yes. Me be Captain Pank. Peter be down there. Why? He be heading out? White be a dicey color to wear at thee pool eh?

[gaipirates]

Thee GAIPirates be off to aisle four then.

It be Funyuns or die Matey’s! Charge ahead!!!

It would be Aisle 3 before ye Captain realized he left his credit scorrrrre in thee year 1802 where he be from. Hopefully it still be good.

So…

Charrrrrrge ahead!!!!!

[gaipirates]

Surely, a stud like Ye Captain must have a Special First Mate? - and/or a handsome Cabin Boy?

More than one each me friend! Ye Captain be a catch!

[gaipirates]

Ohhhhhh!

Veteran GAIPirate and current first mate Marcus just knew his $50k investment in implants be a score. He be turning two heads for David over there with these fine dandies.

ARRR! This be soooooo exciting!!! Tell me when to spin. Should me spin now? Ohhhhhh! Me want to spin.

How bout now? Do he see me yet? Ohhhhh!

Washbuckets! Me. Not be this nervous since me walked thee plank all the way with Bartholomew!!!

Tell me. David be thumping on melons matey?

[gaipirates]

So where be these packaged meats? Those hot dogs sounded real swell. Real swell. Ohhhhh. Do we have any hot buns on the ship matey’s? We should definitely get some hot GAIPirate buns. BTW - what be up with your cart Richard? AI be giving you crap matey? Lmk as me not be paying $35 a month for that hallucination!

[gaipirates]

Thee Captain of ye legendary GAIPirates be infamous for running a vury tight ship. A VURRRRY tight ship!

In fact….Dare me make a proclamation?!

“Thee GaIPirates sail thee tightest ship. Employ thee tightest crew. And, don thee tightest pirate gear the in the land! Errrrr! …on the sea me mean. Awe washbuckets. Me know three GAIPirates be tight on the land AND the sea! YARRRR!”

Tight it was. Indeed.

[gaipirates]

Ok. Check this out mateys…

Look. That be no drink in me hand. No talk glass of anything in me possession.

Now wait for it. Wait for it. Boom!

Me got a fruity drink in me hand!

That’s some botchy AI. That be what that be. Me think it may be on shrooms.

ARRRG!

[gaipirates]

Where again matey?! It be behind us? Oh. Me see. We missed the rainbow then. Dang. Me take it the month of June be behind as well? Eh.. ye know what. Don’t answer that matey. Me don’t want any more bad news. Should we turn around now? If ye like our packages ye might just enjoy the rear view.

[gaipirates]

GAIPirate Captain Crunch had two cannons as arrrrms!

Thar be the perfect promo for his budding new gym franchise, Brunch Fitness a name thee Captain embraced after discovering one’s surname guarantees no copyright privileges.

Nada.

That be surprising if ye come from the year 1812.

[gaipirates]

Well, alright...

How ya'll feelin' tonight?

Ya'll feelin' good?

Well you know... I'm feelin' mighty good tonight...

But you see baby... it's a little hot in here...

In more ways than one...

So I've got a little proposal to make to each and every one of you here tonight...

I think it's time... that we all... go dive in the pool...

Ya'll want to go dive in the pool?

I know ya'll want to go dive in the pool!

Come on! Come on! Let's go!

LET'S GET SOAKEN WET!

[gaipirates]

Summer 2025 and we still be GAI!!!

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Busted. Yas!!!

[gaipirates]

Cannon balls. Me lookin’ for Cannon…. Nope me mean kettle balls. Please forgive me. ARRR! Me come from 1825 and this be ALOT to take on just so ye know.

Do ye like me outfit btw? Me got it at Ross. Me agent said me get paid each time me say that online even tho it ain’t true. Me don’t even know a Ross. Sounds straight and me only steer the ship gayly forward as the Captain. In case it not be clear that makes me a total top. If that intimidates ye then good. If not, whatever. Ye not me type.

Anyway, me actually got the pants from Santa when we took over his sleigh in the great winter blizzard of 1824. That’s why me got sent here to the future. It be my punishment.

Uh. Me be interrupting the class huh? Ok. So no kettlebells then? Ok. How bout a cannonball. Ye got one of those? If ye happen to have three of em’ me can juggle them. Just be sure to wear closed toe shoes if ye be nearby. ARRR!

Well, if thar be nothing, then me head on out. BTW-If any total bottoms in this advanced high power gluttes circuit spin class be listening, your Captain be in the hot dry sauna in about 45 min. Shower first mates and then send them me way too.

YAR!!

[gaipirates]

Damn skippy.