galacticdesperado

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Carmen, Fina, & Claudia - Sueños de Libertad

Ep. 26 | Ep. 84 | Ep. 113 | Ep. 121 | Ep. 201

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solo con mirarte a los ojos ya tengo suficiente

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sdl ep. 37 | 50

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SEASON 2

How it started / How it's going

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amor mío …

los días pasan y me aferro a tu recuerdo para intentar seguir con mi vida …

O k a y

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Carol (2015) dir. Todd Haynes

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"...despidiéndose de su relación conmigo."

Ouch, it hurts. And it will keep hurting for a good long while (longer than soap logistics allow for).

Not really a silver lining, but I am positively surprised (I say, as I sit sniffling in my office y es que ya tengo una edad) at the time and the weight the writers' room allow here - as they know they have to transition from their OTP narrative of Mafin to a clean slate ahead - for allowing Marta time and dialogue lines to grieve, and for grieving and celebrating Fina and her relationship with Marta, even as it feels rushed for us. (when I am going to be over Marta with Fina? Ask me again after I am dead. I will be a Mafin kind of poltergeist - #mafinity was another good #ashtag there.)

Marta, for the first time, gets to name her "relationship" with Fina in front of Carmen and Claudia: a shared family moment of grief.

Carmen and Claudia validate Marta's pain, after Marta leaves wiping at tears, and Carmen calls Fina, speaking of Marta, "the love of her life".

And Marta getting to voice her worries with Carmen this time ("I wasn't brave enough", "I didn't prioritize her enough") and getting to finally talk about their relationship, getting to say she misses her, misses holding her, getting to name the entire new perfume in tribute of their relationship, validated by Carmen who affirms their love and the bond they shared: that is a band-aid, and it's a band-aid that f*cking hurts because this wound is far from closing. But being offered this kind of band-aid? Someone in that writing room cares, against the constraints of the genre (also because Mafin is - was - a major international press and selling point for them).

So yes, all this is building an emotionally honest (as far as possible) closure for Marta and preparing the next arch, laying her story with Fina to rest and trying to leave Marta in a place where she could meet someone else, and that is really not what I can stomach in Grief Stage 1. (the clearly written-at-different times (months?) press materials released this week make it worse, from "separated for a time, hold on!" to "I hope Marta will find love with someone else down the road!" to "so long, it's been great, but it's over!" in a span of not even 48 hours for us) And the worst moment of this episode may be Pelayo calling Buenos Aires about giving Fina an incentive to stay, "so that she won't want to come back." Because Fina saying "no, I don't want to return even though I could" would break the narrative promise of the Mafin romance in terms of putting each other above everything.

And that's why this hurts so much (and I am collecting a few comment bits of mine across the last day here): because *that* would mean not only to move on from Mafin to Masinfin and eventually to Ma+X (as has been hammered home in three interviews now, ugh), but to undo the nearly-400-episode narrative that brought all of us here.

The show's problem is that Mafin was was set up and told and promoted as THE epic romance, and now one actor leaving means they need to unseat that narrative to give the actor staying on the show a clean character slate to move on, and that feels jarring as long as Fina lives, and as long as Pelayo has not been uncovered.

And even a closure of the Pelayo plot is a problem at this point - because how can they do that without diminishing the Mafin plot? If Belmonte stays on and Brunet does not return at all, the show is doomed to destroy the OTP narrative it has so carefully, lovingly built - because if the Pelayo scheme is resolved, but Marta and Fina do not reunite, it would be "No thanks, I love my new freedom and career in B.A. more than you"; or "No thanks, the company and the family and my new love interest matter more to me now, I am not packing my suitcase to move to B.A." And that is simply not the story they have built.

It is, sadly, the story hanging over them now, due to structural circumstances beyond the narrative. They will be forced to break the promise of their own narrative if Brunet is out for good, and that is massively unsatisfying (and also heartbreaking because it feels like a betrayal of the narrative set-up, genre constraints be damned, and, yes, people absolutely grieve stories, too). Also there is something very callous - even if this was not intentional - about the working class character being the replaceable one (Fina is not replaceable, of course, and thanks to Belmonte for that interview line that defies soap logistics, in calling stories and people not replaceable). And I certainly don't want to see any of that five minutes after they ripped away the narrative and said "here, take another one", as if Mafin hasn't been built up as singular.

And I think that is the conundrum the producing team is in: the narrative they created, across nearly two years, has been upended by personal circumstances beyond the show, and now, in terms of being a capitalist product, they have to try to tide queer viewers over to the next storyline that perhaps wasn't intended, but that they now need to go for, and everyone involved has to sell it (of course they do, it's their job. I also have to sell things in my job that I wouldn't have chosen affectively).

But for a queer viewer (at least for this one), the show is not (just) a product. As humans, we make sense of each other through stories, we strive for things beyond our lives through stories, from the first fairy tale we are told as kids where the good ones win against the bad ones. We all know life doesn't work like that, but stories help us to hold on and stretch yet a little farther towards something good, to be better, to create a little more brightness around us, to make it through something bad because we can imagine something better. And Mafin has been such a fairytale. It has delivered on so, so many promises. It is the best and most satisfying long-term lesbian relationship representation I have ever seen on TV. And part of that is that it is so wildly romantic in its exclusivity, which is a narrative trope we react to. It's the fairy tale.

You know I am prone to quoting the Bard in the tags, and this is sonnet 116: "It is the star to every wandering bark / whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken".

Mafin, narratively, is that North Star.

And to go, within the span of a few days, from a long-term established "here, this is the North star!" (ep. 377) to "Nah, this star has gone out, take another one, there are many to be had, that's life" (the interviews released this week) --- that hurts. Because it upends a fixture that was based on being unable to be upended, or overwritten, or changed. There is no moving on without breaking the promise of the entire previous narrative.

So this is not just something ending (stars will continue to shine long after they have dissembled, aka Hello, fanworks), but the attempt to make a star into a passing set of lights in a tunnel in retrospect, so that the show can go on. And that is jarring. Especially, owed to the genre, as a fast push to replace, as if this were replaceable. And it is not.

That said, I am deeply appreciative of the thoughtful and careful wording Belmonte used in the interview released yesterday, as a performer perhaps more acutely aware of what this narrative means to queer fandom: that knowing where Fina is would mean Marta going to find her because that is the story we have been told for nearly 400 episodes. #obviously (if I use the term "betrayal", it is in terms of being given one narrative that then is taken away; this is in no way blaming performers or writing rooms or showrunners for doing their jobs in adjusting to circumstance or for living their lives)

This writing room is exceptionally good. They may find a way to tell a new romance well. Belmonte is an exceptionally good actress; this is her job, she will sell it, independent of what she might personally be attached to in terms of storylines, which is an attachment performers can generally not allow themselves. And a 40+ woman as a queer show lead is something worth supporting in terms of necessary industry shifts either way. (Will the show be daring enough to make a new love interest another woman (I think they will), perhaps someone of the same age or older? (I fear they won't))

But, back to Mafin: creating something that is told as singular means just that: it is singular. You cannot have two singular things.

A new storyline might even be good. Who knows? But it will never be Mafin because you don't get to say "Singular!" twice.

And that is, as stated above, the issue at stake: if you need to double down on your singular thing because circumstances force you to, while fandom holds onto the singular thing as, well, the singular thing.

Because for fandom, it's not a job (which is not say that it might not be more than just a job for some people involved), but that North Star story as which it was told. And for many of us, it will continue to be that.

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"...que habéis sido para mi."

First of all, I need a stop at that de la Reina liquor cart after only clip #1.

(thanks to @bloomsberries for the clip service!)

Second, Fina using the past tense in that letter... ouch.

This is Fina tying up loose ends, but it is also the producers tying up loose ends because back in April no one knew whether Brunet might return (and that is still up in the air, right?), so from an executive POV, the show needed to cover their bases in cases there would be no return.

(can I see that liquor cart again, please? Thanks.)

Third, if the girls show this to Marta (and they might at first not), Marta will find another reason to blame herself and to be devastated by Fina leaving the continent.

But: they now know she has left the continent, even if they think she has done so voluntarily. Start sleuthing, angels! Check flight lists!

Even if getting the soft-filtered flashback reel might count as a narrative wrap, down the line. (also: Fina apparently believing she will not return, and Marta can think all over again that Fina didn't love her enough to stay). Time will tell.

But even though - wait, I need another drink - that is really uncomfortable news in terms of wanting Fina back ASAP, it does also open a narrative possibility for Fina to return at any point, even years from now, because "untraceable on other continents, I didn't even know this person existed (anymore), but here she is!" is a soap classic they have pulled with Gabriel, so at least it's a silver lining in terms of Mafin endgame.

- At any point in the future, Marta might open a magazine with a photo spread which style she would recognize in a heartbeat...

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"No va a volver."

adding, after pt. 2 --

{thanks, @bloomsberries, and also how about Accessory to Murder, where are my tissues)

okay, this was The Worst. (so far)

Last weak was heartbreak, but this week starts with something that looks like closure and wrap.

Fina has given her farewell to her family in the colonia - Marta; Carmen and Claudia; Digna. They can open this up again at any point, but they do not have to. (exceptionally well-done, hitting all the stops, but also it hurts. I know these things are connected. I need another drink.)

Dramaturgically, without a confirmed return of Brunet, that is all they can do even if fandom may collectively be dying of heartbreak - the door can be opened again, but the important people in Fina's life (and fandom, too) are given the space to celebrate Fina's legacy, to grieve, to connect, and are given the chance to put things things to rest down the road, if necessary (note: personally, I hate this even if I can recognize and understand the pattern). This wasn't written or filmed with a guaranteed reunion to work towards to; this isn't a wrap-up conceived with a return already on the table.

Also, Fina giving Pelayo's new office as the reason (and Marta's face of Not Understanding And Falling Apart - MB has been killing it/us all of last week, but this may well take the cake. Wow.) - OUCH! - is another twist of the knife that will further destabilize Marta, who has married Pelayo because Fina asked her to, and is now left behind because of it; again having to think she wasn't loved enough, and that she doesn't even support her good friend Pelayo enough to whom she thinks she owes so much. Marta is reconceptualizing herself as an unlovable failure at record speed - Fina left her; she left the continent to leave her and wants Marta to rebuild her life, "as soon as possible". (Fina, I think we need to talk, we know you didn't sleep, but this is needlessly cruel, even if show dramaturgy needs a clean wrap. Ugh, the fact that they are going for a clean wrap. More scotch, please)

And there are so many options this could go now - from a quick unraveling that ruins Pelayo's appointment because Marta is too broken to function (or because Marta now thinks that if Pelayo is not governor, Fina might return? Really, so many options!); to a mid- to long-term unraveling over Marta slowly finding out what Pelayo has down and growing back some backbone and anger and confidence, to a long-term unraveling of Fina standing in the door in Marta's last-ever episode to whisk her off into the sunset (I don't care whereto, as long as these two get to walk off together).

Well-played, novelita, because I will now drink my way through that entire liquor cart while I toast previously-unheard-of-levels of heartbreak caused by fictional soap lesbians. Someone murder me in the tags, please, that would be quicker and probably less painful.

------

editing, to add after Brunet's IG post went online: Well then, that reduces us to long-term short-stint scenarios (if at all). Who knows? At least no one buried the gays.

For now, Marta de la Reina is all of us, going through heartache and the stages of grief.

Be safe out there tonight, Mafin fam! Don't actually drink too much, reach out in the tags if you need a hug, and remember that and how we have resolved such things the old-fashioned way for decades: through fanworks. To the community!

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Carmen, Claudia, & Fina - Sueños de Libertad Ep. 201

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My girls❤️

sdl ep. 340

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sdl ep. 241 | 378

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sdl ep. 378, 379, 380 & 381

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It’s funny, most people can be around someone and then gradually begin to love them and never know exactly when it happened; but Ruth knew the very second it happened to her. When Idgie had grinned at her and tried to hand her that jar of honey, all these feelings that she had been trying to hold back came flooding through her, and it was at that second in time that she knew she loved Idgie with all her heart. That's why she had been crying, that day. She had never felt that way before and she knew she probably would never that way again.

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Oh fuck off

sdl ep. 378

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Marta's first snap

#mafin #finasphotos #synii

https://www.instagram.com/p/DNvw9ehZNwR/?igsh=YjV2emZoZWh4ZzA3

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Not the rings... NOT THE FUCKING RINGS!!

a bit of a tripod and a long shutter release cable

#mafin #finasphotos #synii

https://www.instagram.com/p/DNdqLsZvgyF/?igsh=bjZhYmF6eHE4ZzFn