garlicbreadwithcheese

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIKU

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Official designs with colors y'all (I suck at art I'm sorry 😞)

Can't wait for Mary's shenanigans 😈

ANNOUNCEMENT

I will be rewriting and changing this detector blog until further notice (because I don't like the lore but Spencer will still be the detectorsona for pizzadebt)

All the lore posts are not canon anymore.

To make it up to everyone here are some art I made:

Alder and Molly design (She's telling him to do a good job at his police academy)

(DO NOT SHIP: Molly is Alder and Spencer's mother figure while they were kids)

Mary Rose and Spencer (my two detectorsona)

(Mary Rose is the mascot/detectorsona of @bee-swarm-simulator-detector but she's just a chaotic gremlin child and won't have much angsty lore, will befriend underrated detectors or anyone in general)

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it was traumatizing /srs

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how to give your monster a job (and why “random killing machine” is boring)

✦ here’s the thing: a monster that just slashes everything in sight is basically a malfunctioning blender with legs. noise, gore, done. that kind of randomness doesn’t haunt—it just exhausts.

✦ horror thrives on obsession. when your monster has a purpose, even a twisted one, it stops feeling like chaos and starts feeling inevitable. inevitability is scarier than randomness, because you can’t outsmart it—you can only wait until it wants you.

✦ think of jobs as rituals. a monster that only kills liars. a monster that steals left shoes. a monster that waits until you sing in the shower, then hums the harmony. these patterns make it feel alive, like it’s following some horrible logic we’ll never understand.

✦ specificity is sticky. “monster that eats people” slides right off the brain. “monster that collects teeth from children who never lose theirs naturally” gets under the skin and stays there. readers remember quirks, not body counts.

✦ obsession also builds dread. if your character figures out the monster’s “job,” suddenly every knock, every shadow, every mundane habit feels loaded. are they next in line? did they trigger the ritual? the fear shifts from “what will it do?” to “when will it come for me?”

✦ bottom line: don’t make your monster a mindless storm. give it a desk job in hell. make it clock in, clock out, and keep meticulous records of who it’s coming for next.

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how to write monsters that actually scare and not sparkle

✦ first rule: don’t over-explain. once you give me the monster’s exact height, weight, claw count, and dental record, it’s not scary anymore. it’s a pokémon. mystery is the muscle. a shadow that almost looks human will always hit harder than a full description of a swamp beast. leave gaps. let the reader’s brain fill them in with their own worst fear.

✦ physics should not apply. horror monsters are terrifying when they break the rules of the world we think we understand. a body folding in ways it shouldn’t. joints bending the wrong direction. silence in a place that should echo. footsteps that sound like they’re coming from the ceiling instead of the floor. once you warp reality, the reader doesn’t feel safe in their own.

✦ chasing is fine. but waiting is worse. scarier than claws, scarier than snarling—try a monster that just stands in the corner and watches. even scarier? it smiles. because predators don’t smile unless they know something you don’t.

✦ let it act like it knows you. a growl is scary, sure, but a whisper of your name in the dark is worse. a hiss of your birthday. a laugh in your mother’s voice. monsters are no longer “other” once they feel personal. they’re invasive. they’re inside your head.

✦ bonus tip: give them wrong appetites. a monster that eats flesh is cliché. a monster that eats wallpaper? horrifying. one that eats memories, so a character wakes up without knowing their own name? disgusting. one that eats reflections from mirrors so you don’t see yourself anymore? revolting.

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is it alright if I send it in dm? capo might kill me

hi I'm going to fix this blog over the weekend I've been trying to organize the anons and now I have time so I hope I can finish these (goodluck to me lol) anyways uhh do y'all ship caporegime x consigliere? (SwordShades) well what content y'all want? I will focus this once I finish half the asks and finish the anon doc file (along with my pizzadebt oneshots)

btw @guest-1337-detecter probably detects them now so expect the two to suffer more >:D

anyways if anyone wants to help out with the file feel free to send a dm (not forcing but it would help out a lot)

idk what to write anymore 😞

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I guess your side job includes tormenting the two gay fellas huh?

react to get a leak of their shenanigans 😈

hi I'm going to fix this blog over the weekend I've been trying to organize the anons and now I have time so I hope I can finish these (goodluck to me lol) anyways uhh do y'all ship caporegime x consigliere? (SwordShades) well what content y'all want? I will focus this once I finish half the asks and finish the anon doc file (along with my pizzadebt oneshots)

btw @guest-1337-detecter probably detects them now so expect the two to suffer more >:D

anyways if anyone wants to help out with the file feel free to send a dm (not forcing but it would help out a lot)

idk what to write anymore 😞

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he's a young cook

Idk if this counts but the polar bear from bee swarm simulator

PILL BABY FOURTY THREE // — POLAR BEAR FROM BEE SWARM SIMULATOR

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I'm sorry that was me 😞

I was making a sandwich but the lid to the peanut butter jar disappeared and I had to go through Roblox and I saw people illegally printing money in Bee Swarm Simulator. I never played Bee Swarm Simulator.

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we need more caporegime x consigliere fanfics

When you realize fanfic writers are just fanfic readers who couldn't find what they wanted to read 💀

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Here’s a “life-hack” for you. Apparently concentrated Kool-Aid can be used as a pretty effective leather dye. I was making a drink while cutting the snaps off some new straps for my pauldrons and I got curious, so I tried it, thinking, “ok even if this works, it will just wash out.” Nope. It took the “dye” (undiluted) in about 3 seconds. After drying for about an hour and a half, it would not wash off in the hottest tap-water. It would not wash out after soaking for 30 minutes. It did not wash out until I BOILED it, and even then, only by a tiny bit and it gave it a weathered look that was kind of cool. Add some waterproofing and I’d wager it would survive even that. That rich red is only one application too. Plus it smells great, lol. So there you go, cheap, fruity smelling leather dye in all the colors Kool-Aid has to offer.

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OMG VANITY SO CUTE OMG

🥰🥰🥰

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Dear friends of Tumblr,

Today at my school we had an assembly about internet predators and when I had said that most of my true friends are over the internet and they gave me a lecture about how “I don’t know who I’m talking to” blah blah. So please, if you aren’t a predator in any way, please reblog so i can prove a point.

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trust me sigma notations makes life easier /j

(idk lore between you and evil I'm still confused lol)

Consigliere: Gd what is your beef between you and caporegime and why are you two fighting about my fanart getting reblogged or something I haven't slept in two days excuse my improper grammar (capo tried to destroy the tablet with a baseball bat and soldier had to hit him before he did that, he's going insane and probably needs therapy at this point)

- @mafiosoandthegang

I do not know why i do it

I feel in undeniable urge to do it

I can not resist

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I'm glad you liked it :D

*silently waits for September >:)*

Mabuhay! GD wearing a Baro't Saya (a national dress worn by women) since Buwan of Wika (a month long celebration about history and language in my country) is about to end

You look pretty in dresses like I'm jealous-

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I'm gonna draw gd

Guest 1337 Detector

@guest-1337-detecter

GD, he/him but has no real gender and shapeshifts, gay as hell for Evil Guest

GD has a lot of self-esteem issues.

Looking for Guest 1337 after he disappeared in the Bacon War. Idolises Guest.

He is a cryptid being pursued by RCAM. He used to live in the woods. Being hunted down by four Robloxians; they branded him as a detector, leaving scars on his chest. He used to have a tail, but he doesn't anymore.

Studied Chance Detector for two days before sneaking into his home. There he meets Chance Detector, as well as Elliot Detector and Azure Detector.

References (colour chart including colours for Matt and Daisy dets)

He has rats living in his home. They are @red-guest-1337, @green-guest-1337, @purple-guest-1337, and @orange-guest-1337

He has connections to Daisy Detector and Matt Detector

7331 Detector and Pizzadebt Detector are his adoptive children

He might have triplets too

He enjoys crossdressing