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When you thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy but it turns out to be difficult difficult lemon difficult.

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jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

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Damnnnn I kinda need to die of carbon monoxide poisoning and then get cryogenically preserved and then have the company that preserved me go bankrupt and quietly dispose of my thawed body in a local culvert where I get eatennnnnn by some armadillos yes armadillos as their native habitat is expanding ever northwards

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“A trans man owning an IKEA blahaj is cultural appropriation” chat we used to throw bricks at cops

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do y'all even know how much i hate being an "elder queer" at 40? a whole goddamn generation before me was wiped out by a plague that politicians deemed not their problem bc it was killing the "right" people. like. this was OPENLY STATED. i spent a large chunk of my childhood going to funerals. nevermind the fact that killing queer people for being queer wasn't codified into law as a hate crime until i was a junior in high school.

i should NOT be an elder queer, i should be middle at most. i am a middle aged queer. most of the elder queers died.

when i was growing up i didn't go to pride parades, i went to pride marches. because that's 100% what they were in the 80s and 90s.

from the absolute bottom of my heart, LEARN OUR FUCKING HISTORY. a generation was nearly wiped out so you young queers could be here. don't let that have been in vain, please.

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"irreversible side effects of HRT" all of life is irreversible. i cannot go back a single second in time

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Woah mama just reminding my followers that TERF ideology is fundamentally evil and not welcome anywhere near my blog hummina hummina hummina

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and you get a little heart <3 and you get a little heart <3 and you get a little heart <3

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btw chat lets stop saying shit like “REBLOG THIS OR YOURE A TERRIBLE PERSON” pls