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the other elves welcoming Legolas in Valinor

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Submissive Like a Guard Dog

He was done waiting. Fisting his hand in the front of Nori’s shirt, he roughly dragged him back into the room, shutting the door behind them with a decisive click. The deadbolt was flicked across, the key turned, and then it was just them.

It seemed Nori’s eyes didn’t know where to settle, and Dwalin watched with rapidly mounting pleasure as his gaze flickered down and over his mouth for a beat too long.

“What-”

“Stop talking,” Dwalin growled before slamming his lips against the Spymaster’s open mouth.

NWALIN NATION. I PRESENT TO YOU WHAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN CH38 OF AN INHERITED HEART.

HERE THERE BE SMUT.

SO MUCH SMUT.

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An Inherited Heart, Chapters 37 & 38

“Bring him to me,” the Pale Orc commanded his soldiers, still in Westron. “Have him kneel before me, so I might cut that defiance from his face.” Thorin suspected he did not use the Black Speech of Mordor as to strike fear into him, but it would not. He was perfectly content to simply remain where he stood, Orcrist hanging by his side as the orcs dismounted.

They approached him slowly, cackling as they came. Calling to him, cajoling him to put up a fight, to raise his arms in defence… but still Thorin did not move.

Instead, his eyes remained firmly locked onto Bolg’s unforgiving gaze.

The orc should have known something was up the moment he set foot onto the plateau, but he was so lost in his own gloating over a victory he would not see that Thorin’s deception – for once – went unnoticed.

Had Azog felt the same about his own charge all those months ago? Had he seen Thorin’s desperation to end things and relished in it as he did now?

Would it even matter if he had?

Thorin knew he would never find answers to those questions, much the same as he knew there was only one outcome this time. He did not fight without regard for his own life now – there was too much at stake. And besides, this time Thorin wanted to live. He had a future. A life to look forwards to. Something beyond the reaches of snow that had previously beckoned him to his death.

Bolg should have known not to test that desire.

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I'm so tired, but it is done. CH38 & Submissive Like a Guard Dog are FINISHED and will be going up either tomorrow or the day after. I have to finish CH37 then I'll post all 3 at the same time.

When I say this is the finest piece of smut I have every written I am not exaggerating. AND DURING PRIDE TOO.

Nwalin nation, prepare yourselves.

(On top of that, possibly 2 more chapters on friday, depending on a few things.)

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I'm so happy right now.

The combined wordcount of all of the *published* works in Live Your Life/The Company of Bilbo Baggins is 500 words away from being 160k.

I have not. In my entire life. Got this far with a single project (book aside, but TAIoBaS will total somewhere in the region of 90k when done and I am happy with that for a BOOK).

An Inherited Heart however is currently at 142k. What started as a silly little thing jotted down pre-op has become something so much more. And there's only one act remaining.

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An Inherited Heart Chapter 36

Nori led him down an unfamiliar passageway, his solid boots somehow making almost no noise other than the tiniest shuffling as he crept forwards. Dwalin knew he must have sounded like an avalanche in comparison, but no terrifying hooded figures loomed from the darkness to snuff out their lives, so that was something at least.

Suddenly, Nori flung out a hand to press against his chest, stilling him instantly. The Spymaster pushed back against the wall, and Dwalin copied him, laying himself flat and ceasing breathing as something crossed the passageway’s exit.

It was not a Nazgûl.

It was… a hobbit?

“What.”

Nori nearly dropped his knife.

The hobbit – and Dwalin had to double check, just to make sure he hadn’t finally cracked – waved politely.

“Ah- hello! Would you mind pointing that axe away from my face? Oh, thank you. It doesn’t make for a good conversation starter, I’ve found.”

“Dwalin?”

“Mm?”

“Why is there a hobbit in Helm’s Deep?”

“Not a clue.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64183963/chapters/164712826

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Interlude

“I think I’d rather like to show you just how much I’ve missed you,” Bilbo purred, nuzzling close enough to nip his earlobe. Through the veil of hair that cascaded over his face no one would have seen the gesture, but frankly Thorin wouldn’t have cared if they had. “I’ve spent quite some time putting together a little plan, you see, and I’d hate to miss the opportunity now we have an actual bed for the night.”

“Wretch,” Thorin murmured teasingly, although the charged energy that filled the air transformed the tone into something rather needy. He didn’t mind. Thorin was needy. “What would you have of me?”

Bilbo hummed softly. He took his time to withdraw from the king’s ear, but the sensation of those slightly chapped lips trailing over his cheek on their way out almost made Thorin’s eyes roll right back into his head.

“Now that would ruin the surprise,” Bilbo whispered against the corner of his mouth. “But it will require leaving this party somewhat quickly. I find myself impatient.”

This is an E-rated one-shot set within the Live Your Life/The Company of Bilbo Baggins universe. Can be read alone with the short context paragraph at the start.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/66708568

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An Inherited Heart, Chapters 34&35

“Sulphur, charcoal, saltpetre. Any in the stores?”

The Queen Consort took one look at his face and her own grew grim in response. “I know where to obtain a small quantity of each. I can have them fetched-”

“Now,” Dwalin growled. “Or we may as well consider this war lost.”

That, she understood. Barking an order down the stairs, she turned back to face him; one brow arched in confusion, but there was a layer of respect there too.

“Whatever you are about to do, make it work.” And with that, Morwen vanished into the stairwell.

Dwalin shook himself. This would work. It had to work. There was no other option.

Nori, who up until now had been hovering by the exit, took a deep breath before striding over. His face was lit up in clear concern, although most people who understood what Dwalin had just asked for would be at least a little worried.

“What are you planning?” Nori asked when he reached him, lowering his voice so it couldn’t be heard by any but him. “That’s-”

“A basic recipe for blowing somethin’ up,” Dwalin said. “Because we’re going to, an’ ye can blame Thorin for the idea.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64183963/chapters/164712826

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An Inherited Heart, Chapter 33

“Thorin? Thorin, we must-”

“I know,” he bit out, snapping at the hands that touched him, not caring who it was that fussed around him. It felt condescending and he was growing agitated by their mere presence; in this in-between state he found himself in. They would simply have to leave. He would catch up momentarily, but right now he couldn’t move. “I will be fine. Just go.”

There was a pause, and for a moment, Thorin thought the speaker had done as requested and left him to escape unattended. That was until small arms looped their way around his bicep and yanked. His feet didn’t move, but he could feel the force behind the hands, pulling and heaving with all their might.

When he finally looked up, it was into beryl-green eyes.

“Not without you,” Bilbo huffed. “Never without you.”

Someone who thought I was important enough to live.

He saved me, time and time again. Even when it was myself I needed saving from.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64183963/chapters/164712826

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what’s the point in having your boyfriend climb out of the window so your brother doesn’t notice anything if you’re not even trying to tone down your dopey grin? who are you trying to fool? 

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An Inherited Heart, Chapter 32

You will lose someone.

He would, wouldn’t he? There were far too many variables in the quest for everything to work as planned, and they’d already faced such misfortune after leaving the Greenwood. It was a miracle that Marigold remained the only fatality. And Dwalin’s arm – although well on the way to recovery by now – would only serve as a hindrance in the battle to come. He’d insist on fighting and it would be his end. Nori’s too, because he’d be run ragged without a distraction to fight around. And if Nori was dead, then Gimli would follow. And Legolas. And Thranduil. And-

-all the rest of them. Every last one. And when Sauron recovers The Ring, he will first wipe out that mountain you are so fond of, and all who reside within its walls. And that is just the start.

He was listening again. The voice tumbled through his head; bad dice casting a result no one wanted to see. It hurt in that deep-rooted way where part of your chest feels as if it has been dragged up into your throat and the cavity filled with ants. A pain that does not move, other than to bite harder. He itched, and squirmed, and ached-

The line that held them all together suddenly went taut around Bilbo’s middle. He looked up in confusion and was immediately met by something that had often woken him up in a cold sweat for nigh on two years.

Kíli was grinning down at him from one of the rams. Fíli wasn’t far behind.

“Ah,” Bilbo said.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64183963/chapters/164712826

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Anduin: crossed

Almost kisses: had

Confusion: aplenty

Hotel: Trivago

The Nwalin is a go, I repeat, THE NWALIN IS A GO

The way I am sitting on the most diabolical case of 'What Happens in Helm's Deep Absolutely Does Not Stay In Helm's Deep' and I can't talk about it because the slow assholes aren't even over the Anduin yet.

Ah well, we'll always have the inherent eroticism of wound care.

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Dwalin and Nori • pre-Azanulbizar

I'm back with another special edition!!!

Special thanks to @conkers-thecosy for helping me bounce ideas for the thing to put for the boys!!

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An Inherited Heart, Chapter 31

Somehow, after a brief disappearance – and Dwalin wasn’t about to start asking questions he clearly wasn’t going to like the answer to – Nori had procured a little wooden trolley, some tarp and a decent length of rope (which they quickly used to replace the shoddy cuffs), and after a few hairy moments during which the Man stirred slightly and was promptly gagged with a sock for his efforts, they began their short journey.

And short it was, for this mysterious room the Spymaster had been pointed to by Morwen was barely a handful of turns away, tucked back in another of the winding tunnels that led from the undercroft. It contained nothing more than a rickety chair, a table and a nook for the steadily puttering lantern Nori had also ‘acquired’ but that would be more than enough for what they had planned.

And now he stood on the other side of the table, staunchly ignoring the pure hate that radiated from the Man’s eyes as he tried to look intimidating. The whole image was slightly ruined by the fact their prisoner was trussed up head to toe in rope with a dirty sock stuffed in his mouth. Somehow, Nori had snuck a large, looping bow into the bindings, and every time the Man so much as jiggled it bounced innocuously next to his cheek.

Dwalin was trying very hard not to laugh.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64183963/chapters/164712826

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how do we feel about butch thorin

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An Inherited Heart, Chapter 30

“It still hurts, you know.”

Bilbo was so surprised by the statement, his eyes very nearly missed a pointed rock poking up out of the disturbed snow, and he skittered sideways to avoid it. When he finally looked up at Fíli – after making certain that the area underfoot was clear – he was met with a level gaze.

“My leg,” he added, seeing the obvious confusion. “My hip too, some days – especially in the cold. I’ve got a brace on under here. It’s why I’ve been spending more time at the back, where there’s a ram to sit on if things get too sore. I don’t have the mobility or reach I used to, and I can’t move how I want anymore.”

“Fíli…” Bilbo murmured in shock at the turn the conversation had taken, but the prince cut him off.

“As for why I came when Dwalin had to stay behind… as much as he’d hate to hear me say it – and as much as I like messing with him – Dwalin’s not used to pain. He’s got an acute injury; one that needs rest and care, but one that hurts in a way he won’t have time to fully adjust to before it heals. Sure, it’s inconvenient… and I’m pretty certain it’s going to result in Dori winning the pot at this rate, but he won’t have that forever. He won’t have to remember to do things differently when it’s healed.”

“And you have.” It wasn’t a question. Bilbo knew how much time his nephew had put into rehabilitating himself. The months of gruelling sessions with Óin spent stretching and relearning to use a limb that had – for all intents and purposes – been completely shattered and rebuilt by an elven magic that could only stretch so far. The tears and frustration that had accompanied the effort. The inaccessibility of Erebor’s many staircases leading to Thorin simply snapping one day and Bilbo having to physically drag him away from paving ramps himself. It was so easy to look at Fíli and see a healthy young dwarrow, and somewhere along the line Bilbo had forgotten that his nephew still dealt with the repercussions of Azog.

Fíli sighed. “After… after it happened… I used to think it would get better. That I’d be back to normal, that I’d be able to climb trees and get in fights and swing my swords exactly like I used to. That I’d still be whole, still be the same. But I’m not, and that took a while to come to terms with. I’m still coming to terms with it.”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/64183963/chapters/164712826

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yeah i love lgbt (legolas gimli bilbo thorin)