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ghostspider95 · 8 days ago

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Chapter 8 of Meeting the In Laws!

All for your viewing pleasure! You can also read it on AO3 as well. I am actually particularly excited for this chapter and cannot wait to write more!

Trigger Warnings: Death of a guardian, poisoning, near death experience, suicidal thoughts, blame, guilt, parental blame and guilt, blood, slavery, mental breakdown, depersonalization, and snake biting.

As Always, No Minors! +18

In the Free Marches, The Planasene Forest is lush, green, and full of mystery that many have come to try and discover over the years. Only to have them get swallowed up in the shadows of its depth. Fruit never seems to be scarce from the trees, nor did it ever seem to spoil. The soil itself is always so virile and rich that when food is planted in it, it would be fully grown the next day. It was like the forest itself was a mother, nurturing the life it held with care and doting affection. Even the wildlife seem to thrive there under her care. However, like all good mothers, the forest was fierce and merciless when it came to protecting its young from those who would harm it. The Dalish, who frequented these forests and knew how it worked, lived just as fully and as respectfully as the creatures of this forest did. They take just what they need, giving thanks to Ghilan’nain and Andruil and giving back to the forest once they leave.

This place provided everything the Dalish needed and taught the Dalish clan much as they frequented. Even now, it was helping a young father teach his child the importance of bravery and doing what needs to be done to survive.

“Papae…Are you sure you want me along with you…? Hahren Inistril said that this forest has… monsters.” Demitrix shuddered.

His father stepped over a log, and Demitrix grumbled to himself as his father stayed silent. He looked at the log and struggled to climb over it, his little elf ears lowering with effort. As Demitrix fell over on the other side of the log onto the forest floor, his father looked over quickly, laughed, and helped him up off the ground. Demitrix did not find it as funny as he did, giving his father a stern look..

“Did you not hear me, Papae?!” Demitrix growled annoyed.

“I heard you loud and clear, Da'len. Hahren Inistril also thinks wrapping your feet in Elfroot cures gout.” His father joked, dusting Demitrix off. “Besides, you will have to learn to hunt at some point, my son. After all, you said you wanted to be a hunter when you get older.. You need to keep learning.”

Demitrix shifted uncomfortably in place and clutched at his tiny bow as he looked around, trying to see past his tight black curls that he stubbornly wouldn’t move. He hated how this forest felt. Too alive, he thought. Like he was walking on a living creature.

“But… I don’t like this forest. It feels… strange here.” Demitrix whimpered, jumping at a nug hopping out of a bush. “Why do we have to hunt? The other hunters…They said there's plenty of… berries and fruit on the trees. Why do we have to hurt the animals?”

He always got so sad when the deer would cry out when struck, even though he knew his father was a good hunter and a good man. Even in camp, Demitrix looked up to all the hunters, but when he saw them carry their animals… Something twisted in his chest. He didn’t understand why they needed to die in order for “the Clan to thrive” when there were plenty of plants to eat.

His father knelt in front of him, ruffling Demitrix’s wild curls as he did. A small chuckle escaped his lips, and his eyes carried a long look of wisdom and understanding as he gestured to his own chest.

“It hurts me to harm the deer of this forest too, Demitrix. These are gifts of Andruil and Ghilan’nain. It feels wrong for taking their life sometimes. I understand your feelings on that. And this forest.. It does feel strange here, doesn’t it? Our often confused Hahren might be right. Monsters may very well lurk in these forests. I can see why you’d be very frightened of this place.”

“I’m not frightened!” Demitrix argued.

“I am.”

“You… You are? How? You’re one of the best hunters in camp! You never seem scared of anything! You look like you could scare away Fen’Harel with just a glare!! Remember when you defended our camp from a huge bear?! Just like this!”

Demitrix demonstrated some clunky fighting moves, making bow and arrow sound effects as he talked. Demitrix’s father found his son's reenactment of the bear attack very amusing and chuckled before gently putting his hand on his back, leading him.

He guided Demitrix to his side gently as he started to walk through the forest again, looking about as he quietly talked.

“Demitrix, everyone is scared of something. If they say they aren't, They are lying or haven't found something to be afraid of yet. I am terrified. EVERY DAY. Even when that bear attacked, I was scared.”

“Then, why? How come you never shake like… Like other people do?” Demitrix corrected himself.

“Because while I am scared, I remember that I also have to protect YOU, as well as our clan and its culture.” His father explained, clutching Demitrix’s cloak protectively. “I put on a brave face and push forward because of all these things. I have to pretend I am brave enough to protect the things in my life that matter the most to me. It’s the same reason I have to hunt the animals and take the halla mothers gifts. For the clan to thrive and for you to be safe and full. Sure, we can eat all the berries and fruit we want, but we also need the horns from the halla for music, the oil from bear fat for torches, animal pelts for warmth, and the leather for armor.”

Demitrix looked at his bow, thinking of their goddess Andruil from the stories he heard Hahren Inistril telling at the campfire. How she teaches The People how to use bows and arrows to clothe themselves and to protect them from enemies using the fur of the animals. He looked up at his father like he was Andruil speaking directly to him, and he grew inspired. He felt himself grow excited and full of determination, ready to show his father that he was willing to learn. To protect. Just like the people before them.

“We benefit the clan, just like Andruil wanted us to. That's why we say thank you to Ghilan’nain for giving us the animals and Andruil for teaching us to hunt. Do you understand?”

“So… I just have to act brave? Even if I am really scared? Then I’ll be like you?!”

His father nodded, kneeling by Demitrix, and pointed at a deer in the distance. He helped Demitrix line up his tiny bow to take a shot and pulled his curls away from Demitrix’s eyes.

“Yep..” His father said, watching as Demitrix fired. “Just like me.”

______________________________________________________________________________

The trip down to the basement was an anxiety inducing experience. The walls dripped with water that was seeping from the lake above us, and the hall was dark, filled with an unfeeling grey stone color that scratched against the skin as I was pushed against its rough surface. Viago held me by my arm with a vipers grip, pulling me along, even if he felt I was lagging slightly behind. I guess that’s why they were taking me down here for the last of Viago’s trials. To scare. To unnerve. I was never gonna say it outloud, but it was working well. Teia and Illario walked behind us, but that didn't make me feel any better, though seeing Teia’s smile made me feel that I did have one ally, at least. She was good at that. Being disarming with only a smile. To ease my anxiety, I just thought of Lucanis and his smile and his little amused laugh when I made a joke. His eyes always get big when I give him anything that reminds me of him. I swear Viago was reading my mind though, be, use as soon as my thoughts turned dirty, I felt him tug on my arm and yanked me away from any fantasy I was having before it got too deep.

We finally reached a water damaged dark wood door and let out a soft sigh, getting ready for any roughness. Viago opened it up and tossed me uncaringly through while everyone else filed in. I landed on the floor with a thud, feeling my skin get bruised and skinned against the stone floor with a solid thud. I let out a loud breath to push the pain back, glaring up at Viago while letting out a huff.

I know you are putting on a mask for Illario, but if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were secretly enjoying this.

“Get up.” Viago ordered.

I groaned. “You know, you could buy me dinner first before tossing me on the ground like that. I sometimes charge for that kind of rough treatment.”

“Okay, how much? Five silvers? The Antaam has made me incredibly annoyed as of late and, I need to blow off some steam.” Viago shot back.

“Five silvers?! I am a De Riva! I’m expensive! That'll be 5 gold, thank you.” I yelled, faking offense. “You should know how expensive we are.”

I saw the corner of his lips tug upward for a small moment and felt such a strange joy from seeing it. He cooled his expression after Illario cleared his throat.

“If you two are done? Let’s get on with it.” Illario groaned.

Viago sighed and looked at Illario with an annoyed expression before turning back to me.

I saw a new, subtly anxious look on his face as he approached me slowly, pulling out a clear glass bottle full of purple viscous liquid from the side of his cane.

“Do you know what this is, Demitrix De Riva?”

“Judging by the color and the thickness of the liquid, it could be a small number of things… But knowing you, It’s got to be fear poison.”

Viago turned from me to look at Illario before turning back to me with a smug looking grin.

“Exactly. Name the effects.”

“Fear Poison: Once ingested, inhaled, or injected into the subject, the poison will make its way up to the brain of the subject and affect the temporal lobe. Causing it to relive past trauma, worst fears, and anxieties as if they were real and right in front of you. Mentally scarring hallucinations for a shorter answer..”

“Ah, so I see that Silas’s lessons didn’t just disappear inside your head. Good to know.”

“You made sure that they really HAMMER that information in our heads growing up. Every kind, every effect, every cure, and every ingredient. If I had to survive…I had to learn. Though, he at least made learning it all exciting.” I jabbed.

His eyes sharpened at my comment but his smug smile never left. He took out the needle he used to prick Lucanis and started to clean it off, pulling a small vial of cleaning solution with it from his belt.

“What happens if the poison is left untreated or If tIf poison affects someone of a weaker mind?”

“If… they cannot overcome the fear and the panic that the poison causes, the poison will start affecting more and more of the brain until it effects the whole body and after 15 minutes, it will start to eat at the brain, causing insanity or…” I said quietly, realizing what was going to be happening. “Brain failure…”

The air suddenly felt so heavy, the staleness of it was causing my throat to itch, and my heart started to race from the surge of anxiety. I could feel sweat now build up on my bare chest, cooling down as it mingled with the damp air of the basement.

As best as I tried to hide it, Viago must have noticed that I was getting nervous, and he looked me straight in the eyes.

“You realize now that this last test of mine… If you fail it, you die. You were warned that that could happen before all of this.”

I steeled myself, remembering the dinner night.

“I know, Viago. I know. I agreed. This is why I will not shy away from this.” I said, looking at Illario in his pale green eyes. “Lucanis is worth any pain.”

“So I have heard you say…” Illario grumbled, walking up to Viago’s side. “You heard him, Viago. He says he's ready to face any pain. My cousin is such a lucky man to have someone so devoted to him.”

I watched as Illario chuckled bitterly, and I stood taller.

“Lucanis has done so much for me and would be willing to go through the same thing if the roles were reversed… I can do no less for him than what he is willing to do for me..” I stoically declared.

I saw a sudden shift in Illarios. A change in Illario’s eyes. They seemed to soften. His body relaxed, and his hands twitched as if wanting to move them towards me.

“No less, huh? My cousin… He talked about you non-stop to me. He smiles more and has this… new glow to him. However, he has the demon… It could harm you. I would not blame you if you-” He started to say.

“Doesn’t matter to me.” I sharply interrupted, puffing out my chest. “If I love Lucanis, then I have to love every part of him, even the parts of himself that he hates. The parts he never asked for. I will even love the family that… hates me in return.”

I felt my voice break at the last bit, trying painfully hard to keep the tears at bay. Everything felt a bit heavy, and in that moment I was just so disappointed and bitter that it clouded my judgement and I let my emotions slip.

“I was so excited to meet you… at first.”

I just wanted you to like me, Illario.

Well, Illario seemed taken back by my words. He took a step back, clutching the pin on his jacket as he took a sharp breath inwards, looking at the floor with shaky breath.

“Illario..?” Teia cautiously said.

She touched his shoulder, and Illario let it rest there, even gently reaching for it before he shuddered and snatched her hand and threw it off his shoulder harshly.

“Finish all the trials, and you MIGHT win my approval. Do not think you can win me over with your honeyed words that ladle on that silver tongue.You can fool everyone else, but I am much sharper than them.”

“Wait, Illario-” I started to say.

“Viago. No needle. Give him a proper dose. Use a knife. Make sure to do this right.” Illario choked out.

I watched as Viago hesitated, almost freezing in place and put the needle away before slipping a thin and slender blade from his cane, staring at it with guilty eyes.

I watched Teia look between them before sge ran up to me and hugged me tightly, gripping my hair at its roots with a protective hold. I could feel the fear in her grip, but she whispered in my ear, her voice remaining playful and soft. Comforting in a way. I hugged her back, squeezing her tight before I felt her breath on my ear.

“Oh, I wish all of this went how Lucanis wanted it too… He loves you so much, you know? Don’t you dare die on him. Promise me you will live… For Lucanis. For all of us.”

I bit my lip and hugged her harder, burying my face into her soft curls.

“I promise… But If I don’t-”

“You won’t.” She hissed, leaning her head on mine. “Whatever you want to tell me, you will tell him yourself when you come back to us.”

She then kissed my cheek and quickly backed off, standing at Viago’s side. She gripped his arm gently as they walked over to me, Viago’s eyes remaining stoic but dancing at the poisoned blade in his hands, the poison dripping with the purple venom. As he approached, I saw Emil slither out of Viago’s coat, flicking his tongue at me as he eerily studied me before slithering down his other arm.

“Hand, Demitrix.” He barked.

I jolted as he raised his voice and took a deep breath, staring into Illario’s eyes as I handed him my palm to Viago. I watched Illario slowly smile in my direction, his eyes staring back into mine and flashing with a dangerous red spark that made my stomach turn.

Then the pain came next. I kept my composure as I felt Viago’s blade dig into the skin, the poison bubbling into my palm as I kept my eye contact with Illario. I couldn’t see it but I could feel the poison burn as it sat on top of the cut.

The pain and burning was nothing compared to the fear and anxiety that shot suddenly choked my vision. Screams and howls pierced my ears and made me feel like my eardrums exploded. My chest was tight and I felt like my breath was being ripped away from me.

I tried to push back, screaming and thrashing around as I gripped my head in defiance. I tried to breathe through the tidal wave of panic but it overwhelmed me quickly. I felt myself hit the floor as I kneeled down, the voices blaming and screaming at me in my ears. I looked down to see hands were grabbing at my legs, but I couldn't move away. I froze. Helpless to stop them. I felt myself get woozy and fell onto the floor, finally losing consciousness.

When I started to regain consciousness, I began to hear birdsong and the sound of wind blowing by my ears, my curls tickling my cheeks as they billowed with the breeze.

I opened my eyes slowly to see I was deep in a lush forest, sunbeams raining down from the leaves of the trees above and a gentle wind moving my hair and… clothes?

I looked down at myself and saw my hands were smaller now. They were covered in rough leather wraps, and my body was covered in familiar leather armor.

“Dalish armor… The Dalish armor I wore when I was…fourteen” I squeaked.

My voice! It's so…tiny. What's happening…?

“Demitrix!” I heard a call from the forest. “Da'len, where are you?!”

“Papae…?!”

I shot up, looking around for the source of my fathers voice. Disbelief and hope flooded my heart. Excitement now replaced the anxiety that had filled my brain.

“PAPAE!” I screamed out.

It… was all a nightmare? All of it? Even… Luca…? Can't be… But all of this… feels so real…

“YES! Mir Da'len! Follow my voice!” The voice echoed back from deeper in the wood.

I started to cry tears of joy, rushing towards the voice as he whistled for me, keeping me on his path. I remembered the whistling was how he led me back to him when I wandered off as a child.

My father, my family, my home… All of it… I am finally going home. I'll tell Papae all about the dream I had and... I can finally sleep in my bed… I can be with my family… My clan…

“This isn't real.” A different voice rang near me. “Do not fall for it.”

I stopped and spun quickly, looking for the voice that sounded like it right in my ear. When I turned to see who was there, there was nobody. Just a silhouette of a creature running into the bushes as it chased off some birds.

“What…?”

As the creature disappeared, I felt some arms wrap around me in a tight embrace as I stared off.

“My son!” My father cried into my ear. “Mir Da'len!”

“Papae!”

I turned to finally hug him, but once I saw who was there instead, I shoved them away, screaming.

It was the Tevinter slaver who kidnapped me standing in front of me, cuffs and chains in his hands with that same… taunting smile on his face.

“There you are, little elf.”

I felt my chest tighten and went to reach for my daggers as I tried to pry my breath from my lungs but saw there was no weapon on me, and I felt my blood go cold.

“No… No no. PAPAE!” I yelled.

“Now now. you're all alone now, RATTUS. No one is here to save you. You can’t fight me. You can’t escape me. Now come along like a good boy, and I promise to be gentle with yah until we sell you off…” He said, rattling the chains at me. “NOW.”

“NO!”

I took off. I ran so fast that the forest blurred past me. I don't know how long I ran for, but I soon felt my muscles twisting in pain as I ran. My breath was becoming more constricted and my vision blurred and became spotty as I felt my legs and arms getting weaker when I heard the voice again.

“Why do you run?”

“I’m going to be enslaved! I’ve seen what Tevinter does to its slaves. I’ve seen it!” I cried, slowing down as I looked back at the Slaver catching up. “I’m going to bled out as tossed away if he catches me!”

“Are you? Are you defenseless?”

“I…I have no weapon..! I have no way of fighting back!”

I started heaving, my lungs on fire from running so hard. I started to lean against a tree now, hopelessness filling my heart as I could hear the slaver laughing in the distance.

“How did you survive the last time you were here?”

I looked toward the voice to argue, but only found myself in the streets of Antiva City, crowds of people walking past and weaving around each other like a choreographed dance. Yelling voices and timid whispers flowing with the stream. I turned to look in front of me and a tall hooded figure was behind me with a glittering blade on his belt, looking down at my teenage self with sharp curiosity.

The voice… It’s not Silas, is it?

“Did you forget who you became that day? What did you have to do to survive?” The voice whispered in the back of my mind. “Did you give up? Even as your lungs burned in your chest and your muscles ached… What did you do?”

I glanced at the knife on Silas's belt before looking back at the slaver, who was now coming up on me with that same sick smile on his face. The same one I despised before.

“I did… what I had to.”

I grabbed the knife from Silas' belt and pulled it out, swinging wide behind me and bringing the blade across the slaver's neck as he reached down. Blood sprayed my face and I watched as the slaver fell dead with a thud into the Antivan dirt. His blood pooled under my feet as I stood there, gripping the knife in my shaking hand.

“After that, I trained… I trained until I bled. Until I collapsed. Just so I could defend myself. Just so I could protect myself. I vowed that day… that I would never become a slave. That I would…”

I looked down at the puddle under my feet and saw my teenage self slowly morph into what I now looked like. Mask and Antivan Crow garb and all.

“That I…would do whatever I had to… to survive.”

I heard a shocked gasp behind me.

“Demitrix…?”

I spun around to see my father… Just like how I remembered him. His dark skin was covered in freckles and sun spots. His wavy black hair was streaked with subtle grey stripes and his eyes, while tired, were as green as the leaves on the trees that were now around us.

Except his eyes were wide with horror as he looked at me, looking from me to down at the corpse of the slaver, slowly backing away.

Except it wasn't the corpse of the slaver anymore. It was Silas, with his throat cut open.

“What you are seeing is not real.” The soft voice repeated.

“Silas!” I yelled as I knelt down, cradling Silas's head. “Papae..! It… It wasn’t my fault! I didn't do th-”

“You think you can justify this? You HAD to do this to survive?! Demitrix, I raised you BETTER.” My father scolded.

The words stabbed at my heart viciously like colding, unfeeling blades. Tears burned in my eyes as shame filled my head along with guilt and fear.

“Becoming an assassin?! Killing others with no remorse for money?! Can you justify that?!” My father yelled.

“Papae, that is not what it was…! I had to! I would have starved or… Been captured again! Antiva City still has slavers! I… I didn't know how I could find you!”

“You couldn’t leave once you were ‘properly trained?!’”

I got up to go over to my father, but I felt something grab my ankle and hold me in place. I looked down to see Silas’s body was gone, but his bloody arm was reaching up from the puddle under me to hold me.

“You let them kill me… I should have left you on the streets. I'd still be alive today… At least you embody the Antivan Crow way… An unfeeling killer. I taught you well.” Silas growled.

“No! I just wasn’t quick enough! I didn’t know you were even there! If I did…!”

I desperately tried to pull away, tears streaming down my face as I struggled.

“Fight it, Demitrix.” Said the soft voice.

“Stop! Stop, I can't do this!” I sobbed.

“You're a monster.” My father spat at me.

I looked at my father with teary eyes, my words choking in my throat. I went to reach out for my father but skeletal hands gripped my wrist and legs, pulling me further down into the puddle. I screamed and tried to thrash them off as they slowly pulled me under more but I was up to my neck in the bloody water now. Voices were growing and blaming me for their deaths, for abandoning Minrathous, for Weisshaupt, all chanting in different but familiar voices.

“Papae… Please don’t say that… I’m not… Papae, please, I promise.. I’m not a monster! I just had to do what I had to do to survive!” I frantically cried, trying to fight against their grip weakly. “You weren't there! The Crows would have come after me if I tried to leave! Treviso would have had blight in the canals if I didn't go to save it! It would have blighted so many more people and poisoned the water! Antiva is my home! I had to do something! I couldn't help Minrathous in time, I really tried to get back there in time! I'm sorry, Papae! I'm sorry, everyone!”

I clawed at the edge of the puddle with my own free hand, tearing up grass and begging my father with my eyes as a skeletal hand gripped my throat.

“Please Papae! Help me! I'm your child! I'm scared! Don't leave me here!”

With his eyes full of unfamiliar and cold disdain, he turned from me. Walking back into the forest.

“You're not my boy…” He growled, his voice choking . “He died in this forest. I don't know who you are.”

I was finally pulled under, choking on the scarlet water that entered my throat. I screamed as I reached up to the surface with my free hand, desperate to get away but I felt my hope start to fizzle away replaced with a harsh hopelessness that numbed me.

They’re right… I became what I never wanted to be. I let so many people die because of my own foolishness… I abandoned Minrathous and made life worse for the slaves there… I keep making so many mistakes. I’ll just keep getting people killed, won’t I…? Maybe it’s better this way… I only fuck things up. I only hurt others. I'm sorry, Teia… I broke your promise to stay alive… for you and for…

I saw Lucanis’s smiling face in my mind as a clawed skeletal hand wrapped itself over my mouth.

I'd only end up hurting him too, I guess. Oh, Luca…

Bellara’s snorting laughter. Taash’s chants and cheers. Davrin's encouragement and confidence. Lucanis's loving gaze. I held their faces in my mind as I closed my eyes, ready to slip away into the dark.

A piercing and painful sensation suddenly went into my arm and broke me out of my trance-like state. I cried out and opened my eyes to see a familiar large wolf with six, green eyes and its muzzle snapped around my arm. I felt it's muzzle yank on my arm, and I cried out, choking on the water as pain shot through my arm and into my spine. I yanked my face away from the hand that held it and could feel myself able to breathe again.

“Solas..?!” I choked out.

“I told you not to trust him. You need to remember what you're fighting against, Demitrix. You are letting yourself be drowned and defeated by your crippling fears, not realizing that they are what is causing you to fail.”

“What's the point?! I’m just going to make things worse! I am a monster! My fears are right about me! Just… Just leave me to die…”

“Are you now? Would Viago say that? Would Teia? Would your team? Would all of Treviso? What would have happened to Lucanis if you never helped him? Davrin? Taash? What would they say you are?”

“I…” I sobbed.

I felt him pull hard on me again, his teeth sinking deeper and causing me to cry out again from the intense pain.

“Stop! Solas! It hurts!”

“Healing hurts. It’ll only hurt worse if you give up. You must fight, Demitrix. As you always have…”

My father’s long forgotten words echoed in my head, his smiling face looking down at me as the sun shined behind him.

“I have to do what I have to… Just like Papae. Just like my team! Whatever it takes!”

“THEY BELONG TO US, FEN’HAREL. STAY OUT OF THIS AND LET US HAVE THEM!” The voices below me screeched.

“I belong to NOBODY.”

I kicked their hand off my ankle, and their grip on me loosened. I yanked and thrashed until their grip on me was no more and Solas pulled me up. As I freed myself, something deep below me swam up past me and flew out of the water as Solas yanked me out of the puddle. Air suddenly filled my lungs as I surfaced and I coughed up the water, laying on the grass. I felt a snout nudge me up and I looked up to see the two birds from before and an owl sitting on a branch near them, looking down at me with disdain in their beady black eyes and their feathers ruffled and wet.

Solas gently backed away from me, his eyes sharpening as they looked towards the birds and their cold stares before chasing them away. Howling, he disappeared into the woods, leaving me alone to catch my breath and get my head together.

Shaking and weak, I stared off to where Solas ran off and held my bloody arm as I sat on my knees, watching as his silhouette disappeared.

“Th-Thank you, Solas…”

I flopped onto the grass, the effects of the anxiety lessening but still present. Enough to where it was bearable and I could fight it off but I just felt exhausted. My limbs were numb and my eyes were heavy from exhaustion and stress. Before I knew it, my eyes were closed, and I fell asleep to light birdsong and a wolf's howl fading in the background.

When I slowly felt myself come back to consciousness in the real world, I found myself on my back, painfully aware of the soreness and stiffness that had grown on my tailbone. I opened my eyes up at a familiar stone grey ceiling, and a teary eyed Lucanis looked down at me, the look of pure disbelief in his big brown eyes

I only smiled and reached up, touching his face, which made him jolt and quickly grip my hand as tears rolled down his eyes.

“You know… We gotta stop meeting like this.” I wheezed.

He just let out a breathy laugh before he kissed me deep, holding my hair in his grip to keep me there. I happily returned the deep kiss, gripping at his back. Both of us were grunting and rolling a bit as he kept his lips on me. Both of us locked together as we lost ourselves in each other for a moment. When he pulled away, I just stared into his eyes, holding myself back from just jumping him right then and there.

“You’re impossible, Demitrix…”

“But… In a good way?”

Teia was suddenly in the room and ran over squealing happily. She pounced on top of me and Lucanis and kissed all over my face, leaving her signature red lipstick all over my skin.

“Thank the MAKER! You're alright! You're okay!”

“Teia! My lover is right there! You'll make him jealous!” I laughed.

“Agh! Teia! Get off of my lover!” Lucanis growled, trying to push her off. “SHE'S MARKING. THEM. OURS!” Growled Spite.

I only continued to laugh and hugged them both, grateful to feel their warmth against me again. It took a minute before I felt the sting of the cut on my hand, but also.. my neck as well.

“Ow… Why does my neck hurt?” I asked, perplexed.

“You were… Feisty.” said a new voice.

Viago had entered the room with a subtle proud smile on his face, his mustache tilted up on one side, and his snake now wrapped around his wrist.

“What does that have to do with my neck hurting?”

“While under the effects of the poison, you uh… pulled a knife on Viago.” Lucanis explained.

“What?! Wait… I’m guessing Emil reacted Then?”

“I was not expecting you to lunge at me while under the effects. You got up, wobbled around like a drunken idiot, cried a lot, and then pulled a knife from your belt and went to lunge at me… Emil reacted before I could. I gave you the antidote, though. You should be fine.”

“Strange… I wonder…”

“You are a fighter. You’ve always been that way, from what Silas told me.”

“Silas said that about me…?”

“He always seemed rather proud of you. I disapproved of his fondness for you in the beginning, but I can see now what he saw in you. As expected of a De Riva, you turned out to be quite a gem.” He coughed.

Teia rubbed her face against my lipstick covered one, hugging me tighter.

“We are so proud of you, amigo! Congrats on passing both Viago and I's trials!”

I smiled, looking for the face missing in the group, making me both relieved and disappointed at the same time.

“Where’s Illario?” I asked.

Teia’s smile disappeared from her lips, looking back at Viago, who then walked over and knelt beside me.

“We noticed that your veins were turning… purple. The poison seemed like it was taking effect and spreading, and we all… feared the worst. Illario just… smiled and walked out.” Viago hushed.

“How nice. I'm glad he believed in me.” I huffed.

“At this point, are you even surprised?” Viago quipped.

“No, but… I don't know… I saw a shift in Illario before the trial. Teia saw it too, right? Like Illario was… Fighting for control. He clutched the pin on his vest.”

Lucanis helped me up on my feet before holding me close to him for a moment. I heard a sigh of relief escape his chest before he pulled away and sharpened his eyes at Viago and Teia.

I saw Teia rejoined Viago's side but both seemed to whisper to themselves.

“I found more information in Illario's room, but I think you owe us BOTH an explanation.” Lucanis said in a dark tone.

“I agree with Lucanis. Why all the sneaking about? I get that we are Crows but this is a lot, even for us. What do you know that we don't? Why weren't we warned?” I followed.

“Trust me, we didn't like it either… There was a different plan for when you came here, Demitrix, but Illario made some sudden changes a few weeks out from when Lucanis was supposed to invite you out.” Teia started to explain.

“Illario was acting more erratically than he normally does. It was borderline obsessive about how he planned it all out. I told Teia about my suspicions, and we decided to play along for the time being. We needed to find out what his actual intentions were and why. He has said to me to “make sure I really made you regret being here”. That we break you. I think he wants to weaken you to kill you off, If I am being honest with you. All in all, We were just trying to figure out what was really going on, and you are not as subtle as you need to be for a Crow. We just needed you to be in the dark for a while until we got more of an idea of Illario's change.”

“Ouch.” I said blankly.

“That could explain why he’s been on us so much about making sure we are not holding back on you, though it doesn't explain why. Why does he want to kill off Demitrix?” Teia turned towards Lucanis. “Did you find anything from Illario’s room? You’ve been extremely quiet during this conversation.”

I looked over at Lucanis, whose eyes, that were glaring at the ground, were looking more hurt now as Teia called his attention.

“Zara is controlling Illario. I found some letters in his locked desk drawer. The way the letters between Zara and Illario are phrased… They are apparently… Romantically involved. He has been using blood magic to control Spite. It must be why Spite has been having such an adverse reaction to being around Illario. The only way he could use blood magic to control Spite is if he was a mage and Illario is MANY things, but a mage is not one of them. Zara is using him, channeling it through Illario. He sold me out to gain power, only to be controlled by Zara in the end. How ironic. Though… I question how long her control over him has really been.” Lucanis growled.

I could tell this was painful for him as he handed the letters to Viago and Teia, his voice trying to remain hopeful towards the end. He was shaking slightly, and his breath was becoming more controlled and deep. I leaned against him, just staying silent, putting my hand on his back to try and comfort him.

“This… explains a lot but It also opens up more questions. Is Caterina actually dead? Is she imprisoned like you were? If Illario is actually in there, is he starting to fight for control?”

“That is what I intend to find out.” Lucanis warned.

“We could torture him.” Viago suggested.

“That wouldn't work, Vi. Zara wouldn't feel anything. You'd just be torturing Illario for fun at that point.” Teia corrected.

“I do not see the problem.”

“Wait. Hold on.” I stepped in. “We need to break the connection between them before we can get any reliable information. That means the pin, right? He did clutch it. We just need to get it from him. His trials are next for me, right?”

“If you think I am letting you continue these trials, Demitrix…” Lucanis growled.

“Listen to me, Lucanis. We need to catch him off guard in order to save him. Once we do that, we can take and destroy the pin while he's distracted. Afterwards, we can get the answers we need without Zara influencing him.” I explained.

“I hate to say it, but Demitrix has a point.” Viago sighed.

��You cannot be serious, Viago.” Lucanis snapped angrily. “Have they not been through enough?! How much more should they have to suffer over this?! Send them home and we will deal with this.”

“Lucanis… I understand that you hate this but we have to do this… I want to save Illario. He’s obviously after me for some reason, so let me be the bait.” I soothed, rubbing his chest. “You'll be right there to protect me during this confrontation in case it goes south. You would protect me, right?”

“Of course I would, I'd…” He trailed off, growling to himself. “Damn you and your… big eyes…”

“You have nothing to prove to us, Demitrix. In our eyes, you’ve already passed your trials… You are one of us. We can’t ask you to continue.”

“You aren't asking. I am volunteering. It’ll give me a chance to get him back for all the rabbit comments. Plus, I won't have Zara interfere anymore in Lucanis’s life.”

“No. I won’t have it. Demitrix, this is not your mess-”

“It became my mess when I fell in love with you, Lucanis. I won’t let you do this anymore by yourself. You're stuck with me now so get used to it.” I stubbornly declared.

Lucanis stared at me with hesitant eyes for a moment. I could tell that he wanted to argue more but in the end, he just growled under his breath.

“Why can't I ever say no to you? How do you do that?”

“Because I'm very pretty.~”

Teia cleared her throat. “So?”

“I’ll continue the trials. We’ll corner him in the place he decides to do it. Lucanis, did you talk to the team?” I inquired.

“Neve, Bellara, and maybe Emmrich are on their way. We need mages to fight that much blood magic.”

“They are perfect for the job, then. Good work. Our mages will weaken the connection and ANY reinforcements that he might have that could help strengthen it. You two, you will make sure that any melee backup stays off me and Lucanis during this.”

Teia and Viago smiled and nodded.

“Understood.”

“Once he's caught off guard and weakened, I will grab the pin and destroy it. No killing other than what is necessary.”

Lucanis nodded and seemed to be relieved. His shoulders finally lowered and his eyes relaxed.

“Good. We have a plan. Now… all we have to do is wait.”

______________________________________________________________________________

After the game plan, we all headed back up together. Illario found us in the foyer and put on an act. Congratulating me and even hugging me, but I could tell he was furious. He did warn me to prepare for his trials tomorrow. I only told him to bring it on before following Lucanis upstairs.

It was evening by the time we returned to our room, and Lucanis just had a servant bring dinner to our bedroom. I bathed and groomed myself while he got our food ready. Letting him fuss and take care of me as much as he wanted.

I stared at myself in the mirror on our vanity as I brushed my wet hair, thinking about everything that's been happening along with Solas helping me with my hallucinations

The genuine fear gripped at my memory and I felt myself shake as I recalled it. My fathers face was still fresh in my mind and his look of disdain… Made me wonder how he would think of me now. If he was still alive. It was then that I felt hands on my shoulders that pulled me from my slowly spiraling thoughts.

“Dinner is served, love.” Lucanis purred.

I smiled up at him and dabbed my wrists and ears with rose oil. His hands starting to massage into my shoulders as he stood behind me. His brown eyes watching me through the mirror with amusement.

“Thank you, love… Are you okay?”

His face darkened and his fingers massaged slower.

“I… No. Not at all.” He said quietly.

“We can talk about it, if you want?”

“Talking about it won't fix the damage that's been done.”

“I understand… I'm sorry I brought it up.”

“No, I… I apologize… I know you care. I am just hurting. Thinking about what I must do if we can't-”

“Hey. It won't come to that. You will not lose anyone else.” I halted.

A small smile appeared on his face and he leaned down, kissing the top of my head before standing straight again.

“How do you make it so easy to believe you?”

“It's just my naturally disarming smile.” I chirped.

I dabbed more oil down my exposed chest bone and felt his hands rub at my shoulders again, before they ventured up my neck, running his nails over my sensitive skin.

“Your body oil always smells so good. I was thinking about you earlier when it was lingering in the room.” He said in a sultry tone, his fingers dancing over my ears. “It made me miss you.”

While I shivered from his touch on my ears, I still held the image of my possible death in my head and I gently brushed his hands away from my ears.

“I am sorry, Lucanis… I know I'm usually all for it, but I just-”

“Stop. You do not have to explain yourself to me. I love you. I will back off.”

“Thank you… Could we… cuddle after we eat? I… I just…”

I felt tears fill my eyes suddenly and the floodgates burst with ease, making me start to sob loudly as I started to slump out of my chair.

Lucanis pulled me from the chair of the vanity and into his arms and lap as he sat on the floor. Clutching me tightly as I cried into him, he seemed to just let me bawl like a newborn baby into his exposed chest. Trying to soothe me and rock me back and forth.

I opened up about the hallucinations. The fears that plagued my mind, and my “fathers” reaction to my deeds. I tried multiple times to stop myself from crying. To stop talking, but when one door closed, it's like another one opened as well until all of them were forced open. I could do nothing but let it happen.

As I felt myself coming down from the intense sadness, I started to notice the smell of Lucanis’s cologne in my nose and gripped onto him harder. Eager to just drown in his presence now and forget the world around me. I finally pulled gently away and wiped my eyes.

“Maker… I just… couldn’t stop. All of that just… come flooding out. I’m sorry.”

Lucanis petted my head, combing his fingers through my long hair, and shushing me as he kissed my forehead.

“Don’t apologise. I want this.”

“For me to cry like a baby in your arms? To cover you in snot and tears?”

“For you to talk to me. To open yourself up to me. I told you that when we first got here.”

He sighed happily, kissing my cheek and pressing his forehead against mine. It made me giggle, seeing him being so soft with me. Part of me felt a bit frightened by his softness, only because it still felt so new to me but I let myself feel it. It caused such a pleasant warmth in my chest and made me feel so…giddy. Like a teenager sitting with their romantic fascination.

“Yeah… I remember. I'm trying to work on it…”

“Well right now was a good step.” He teased.

“Can we move to-”

He didn't even let me finish before he hoisted me into his arms, carrying me off to our bed. He began to hold me so protectively as we snuggled into the blankets, his arms wrapped around my stomach and chest. Enveloping me in safety and comfort that made me melt in his presence. We ate our cooling dinner, snuggled closely, and talk about our future. Beyond the team. Beyond the Crows. A vacation in Orlais or in the countryside of Antiva. Somewhere far away from all this for a while. It felt like such a dream, just laying there with him and talking. His hands in mine, laughter being shared between us. I watched his face as I talked about finding some Orlesian parties to crash after all this and noticed his eyes drooping. His body was starting to relax back into the sheets, and his grip on my hand loosened.

I went quiet, noticing him start to doze off and he looked at me, regaining control over his sleep.

“What?”

“You're so cute when you doze off.”

“You tease me.”

“You are! It makes me wanna bite you.”

“Perdon?”

I rolled over and pounced on him, biting into his chest playfully as I held his wrists down.

“Agh! You little flea!” Lucanis laughed, trying to pry me off. “Quit it! Stop! You're a ghast!”

I only growled like a dog and once he pried me off, he rolled onto me, biting at me now.

“Ow! Ow! Hey! Careful! I might start moa- OW! Stop it!” I laughed, trying to push his face away. “You have sharp teeth! I'm tender!”

“I'm TeNdEr!” He mocked.

I shoved him off, laughing as he stuck his tongue out at me in a playful manner.

“You're so childish!” I scolded

“Do not even get me STARTED on you about being childish, Demitrix De Riva!”

“My NAME is Amore, thank you very much!” I corrected him playfully.

He only laughed before pulling me into his arms again, kissing my face lovingly as his hands wormed their way into my robe. At first, I jolted. Thinking that he was trying to touch me to turn me on. I was about to stop him when I felt him rub at my back, his other hand around my bare waist, just keeping me there.

“Lucanis-”

“I promise I'm not not trying to get you aroused. I just want… to feel your skin against mine. To feel you… near me. To hold you.”

I buried my face into his chest, letting him feel my back as I mimicked him. I opened his shirt to hug his bare skin against mine, and while it was comfortable and I felt such peace, I could not help but think back on our relationship.

The skin on skin contact and the feeling I had from it was… odd when it first happened. I was not used to nothing happening when we cuddle at night. I’ve done similar things with clients, contracts, and even one night stands, but it always led to sex because… It’s what I came to expect to happen. However… I didn’t feel like I had to be ‘physical’ around Lucanis. It was like I wasn’t expected to do anything or be anything. I could just… exist just like this. It was very uncomfortable at first. It's been months since we’ve been together and this happens often now but the first time it did, I found myself crying into his chest. Just like I did earlier. Perhaps it was comfort? Safety? Both? It felt… close. Like I knew I could trust him…

I can see why he likes this…

“Demitrix?”

“Yes, Amore?”

“How do you feel about… marriage? For the future, I mean?”

I smiled into his chest, hugging him tighter. The thought of me in a tight white wedding dress on Lucanis's arm… brought me some kind of electric joy.

“I've never thought about it really happening to me before I met you. Now? I… I really like the idea.”

“You do?” He inquired.

“Very much. My only requirement is that I get to wear a slutty and tight white wedding dress that is covered in gold. Oh! And lots of jewelry!” I gabbed excitedly.

“How modest of you.” Lucanis teased.

“I am a De Riva.” I said smiling, looking up at Lucanis with big eyes. “I only want the best.”

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