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Women As Leaders: Normal and Conventional

Misogyny has been an issue for decades now, almost as if it is a culture that people have normalized in discreet ways. The whole world, before everyone has been open-minded in the liberal ways of life– everyone was conservative. The mindset before was that men are the ones capable of working and providing for their families. All the hard jobs and tasks are for men, whilst women were expected to stay at home and do everything “small” as well as serving their husbands or family. An article from the US Library of Congress has stated that after the world war, advocates of women were not given the chance ever since the idea of voting and democracy had begun. Women’s right to vote was only passed during the Nineteenth Amendment in 1919. All these considering that people in the United States are more liberated than other countries; especially in Asian countries. What more oppression and misogynistic ideas women from very conservative countries could have been going through, right?

Presently, in the 2022 National Elections, there are five respectable candidates that are running for Presidency– Leody de Guzman, Ping Lacson, Bongbong Marcos, Manny Pacquiao, and Leni Robredo. Amongst these candidates, there is one obvious reaction; there is only one candidate that is a woman. Leni Robredo, even though having been elected as the Vice President of the Philippines, she has still been receiving backlash over her candidacy. When various people are asked why not Leni (for President), most of the reasons answered: Babae kasi. They uttered how Leni will become a puppet of other higher authorities as she is a woman who is very gullible. It was as if every woman is expected and viewed to be gullible, fragile, and weak. Also, the people who answered these had one thing in common— they were men.

Why is it that women are viewed to be incapable of leading an entire country but expected to be the backbone of every family at the same time? Why is it alright to expect women to be the ones tidying the house, cooking every dish for her family’s meal, but not to lead a country or even a corporation? When men are to be promoted to a big job or to become heads, or the person in charge in a professional workplace, the automatic response is: “Congratulations!”, “You deserve it!”, or even “You did so great!” On the other hand, women who are promoted to become bosses in the very same workplace, it is often questioned; “Maybe she’s work-oriented? A single woman?”, “How long has she been working here?”, or “Does she know someone from the big bosses or higher-ups?”.  Why are women treated differently as if men cannot fathom the fact that women are also capable of doing what they can do? That women can also become bosses, or that women can be bigger than what men can achieve. 

In viewing women that are successful in their careers, the automatic response of many people for that is: “Ay hindi pamilyadong tao”, “Ay puro career ‘to, kawawa kasi walang mag-aalaga pagtanda diyan kasi walang planong mag-anak”, “Ang selfish! Matapobre!” and many more. Women can be successful, they can be leaders, workers, and mothers at the same time. Men are not the only ones who deserve praise when they are successful in different fields, because men do work hard… but with this social concept, women have to work 10 times harder. Women are not assumed to just finish a degree and then stay at home when they become mothers. Women are capable of being a mother concurrently with being career women. 

So when women are elected leaders or want to become a leader, take her aspect of being a woman just like how you take men candidates on. Judge them based on their character, what they have done and plan to do, and put aside their gender as their track record will speak for themselves. Being a woman is just their gender, it does not necessarily reflect and define their whole identity and personality. Just like in the Declaration of Independence, “We hold these truths to be self-evident that all men and women are created equal”. 

As I end this at this juncture, the writer would like to leave a question for the readers:

When women are assaulted and harassed, the convicted are men but with extrinsic reasons like, “Men cannot think straight whenever they see a woman with lots of skin showing”. So why is it more conventional for men who apparently cannot think straight when they see a woman’s legs, but new and surprising when a woman tries to run for office?

SOURCES:

Women’s Suffrage in the Progressive Era | Progressive Era to New Era, 1900–1929 | U.S. History Primary Source Timeline | Classroom Materials at the Library of Congress | Library of Congress. (n.d.). The Library of Congress. https://www.loc.gov/classroom-materials/united-states-history-primary-source-timeline/progressive-era-to-new-era-1900-1929/womens-suffrage-in-progressive-era/

The Women’s Rights Movement, 1848–1917 | US House of Representatives: History, Art & Archives. (n.d.). History House. https://history.house.gov/Exhibitions-and-Publications/WIC/Historical-Essays/No-Lady/Womens-Rights/

[giannalalamdrd]

The role of a writer is not to say what we can all say, but what we are unable to say.

Anais Nin

[giannalalamdrd]

Searching... “Who am I?”

In my eighteen years of existence, I can say that no one knows themselves a hundred percent. I've met a number of folks in my life who have gone through an identity crisis, gender dysphoria, and even existential crisis; having to sacrifice important people in their life along their journey of finding themselves and their purpose. People who have trouble answering when asked what they want in life. I, myself, have experienced having to lose someone first before I knew what I wanted and it was too late then. But the question is, what does it have to take for you to know who you truly are?

My whole life, I have only been interested in boys— at least I believed I was. Back in 10th grade, I had a best friend. Our closeness was incomparable with all our other friends, we were inseparable and we had this different kind of bond. The kind of bond where we can both sit in silence and still enjoy each other’s company. We were fully reliant on one another since we preferred doing things together. Even if the teachers tried to move our seats far apart, she would find a way to sit next to me—even if it meant spending the little money she had left to purchase a snack for the person sitting next to me.

Our friendship progressed and we only kept getting close with each other. There were several times that I would skip joining my friend group for lunch just to join her. She would go to school, weep to me about her situation at home, hyperventilate, then I would carry her on my back to take her to the clinic. Even when the boys could have easily carried her to the clinic, she had told me how she preferred me doing it.I'd skip the first period of class until she calmed down and said it was fine for us to return to our classroom. 

We were doing a lot of things together, more than what a normal friendship should. Until one day, I was struck as I felt how differently she treated me from other people. She would look at me funny, she could stare at me for minutes and not say anything at all. It felt as though she viewed me as more than just a friend. I felt uneasy when I thought that. I was not comfortable with the idea that a woman, especially my best friend, liked me. I have then thought of what might happen to our friendship if I chose to accept or reject her sentiments, but I ended up ignoring her and leaving her with no explanation.

Eventually, we would go back to how we treat each other as friends and whenever I notice that she looks at me for far too long, I go back to ignoring her. I knew how much of a coward and jerk I was back then. I kept telling her and myself how much I valued our friendship, but looking at the things I did back then, it speaks the opposite. 

This pandemic, I was able to reflect on the things I did in the past— I was also able to realize how I had the same feelings for her the whole time. I was so focused on moving on with the last guy I was with, and I was so focused on being full of myself. To be clear, I support the LGBTQ+ community; in fact I was very vocal about my support for the said community. So I was perplexed at how homophobic I was at myself back then. I refused to accept the fact that a girl liked me and that I liked her too. 

When I had finally cleared things with myself, I had a conversation with Ianee and she confessed that she only truly moved on from me recently (as she had been acting and claiming before that she had moved on already). From there, I lost my chance to speak my feelings for her. I had thought that it was a jerk move to confess to someone who had recently moved on from you only after 2 years as I had believed that it would only benefit me. But in the end, I learned that in order to allow myself to move on as well, I would have to speak to Ianee, so I did. I knew I was jeopardizing our friendship, but I also believed it was a risk I needed to take in order to finally do something for both of us.

Ianee was definitely not a phase. She had taught me many things, including being myself, accepting myself, loving and caring for myself. There were several times where I made assumptions of how she felt about me; be it not wanting to talk to me, liking me, and many other things. I had learnt that I should not make assumptions until they were explicitly expressed, as assumptions led to more confrontations. I had also learned to be accountable for the mistakes I made in the past and reflect on the consequences. Knowing that with the pain I have caused her, I needed to give her space or at least initiate the conversation if I wanted to let her know I was sorry for what had happened to us. I learned to fight for what I want but I also instilled that I must still guard my heart, and that I would be brave enough to accept whatever may happen.

[giannalalamdrd]

Me trying to figure out how Tumblr works so I can create my first post: