gigglegirlhappy

[gigglegirlhappy]

I have so many opinions on Carol Holiday. All of them are violently mixed together like a turbulent soup. This means that Toby did an excellent job writing her.

Anyway, I make all my best work while heavily projecting all of my own insecurities onto cartoon deer.

[gigglegirlhappy]

My biggest sin as an artist is that I’ve been recycling the same two or three hands for four years.

[gigglegirlhappy]

I love posting my silly little analyses on my silly little blog bc people give me little nuggets of praise and then I carry that high for a week.

[gigglegirlhappy]

Major spoilers for Deltarune Chapters 3-4 ahead!

Ralsei is an endlessly fascinating character to me. I adore his design to no end, I love the gags he’s associated with, and I find his general attitude endearing.

Ralsei is a commentary on worthlessness and unmet needs.

When we first meet Ralsei in Chapter 1, he’s the perfect picture of an archetypal cleric. He firmly believes in kindness and compassion as the winning strategy, and he’s a little spineless when it comes to conflict resolution as a result. Notably, he plays along with Susie’s rebellious antics because he thinks he can win her over if he’s just kind enough. His entire philosophy revolves around “if I’m kind, then things will go right,” and that philosophy works in Chapter 1, as proven by Susie’s later recruitment into the Fun Gang and the Spade King’s defeat in a pacifist run.

Interestingly, he decides that it’s best to hide his appearance under the shadow of a witch’s hat until the very end of the adventure. It’s unknown why he hid his face in this manner (and it left me thinking he was some kind of owl creature for the majority of Chapter 1’s runtime).

Chapter 2 is much the same, but with a twist. Susie is a much more active participant in this chapter, and she makes a lot of choices that challenge the standard Ralsei set in Chapter 1. She teaches him how to ACT despite his meek insistence that Kris should be the only one with that ability. He teaches her some weak healing in return, but here it’s mostly played for laughs. Ralsei is still the support of the team here, but the party dynamics are challenged a lot more in Chapter 2 than they were in Chapter 1. Kris isn’t the only one who can lead anymore. Ralsei can too, if he so desires, but he refrains as much as he can in an effort to maintain the status quo.

Interestingly, Ralsei feels it’s best to not tell anyone about the world ending apocalypse scenario that birthing a fountain within a fountain would create until the Fun Gang is moments away from replicating those very steps. This is the start of a very prominent trend in Ralsei’s character. Him hiding his face in Chapter 1 was a silly, inconsequential thing, but covering up the literal apocalypse scenario that is the Roaring is a different matter entirely.

In Chapter 3, Ralsei hits Susie with the absolute banger conversation starter that is, “I’m not real, so stop caring about me already,” after being pressed about going to Hometown’s festival. He could’ve brought this up at any point in the previous chapters, but he refrained from doing so because he thought it was best at the time. He only brought it up now because he physically can’t attend the festival.

This, of course, creates a rift between Ralsei and Susie for the rest of Chapters 3 and most of Chapter 4’s runtime. This is important because Ralsei makes it clear that he thought Susie already knew he wasn’t a real person purely by virtue of being a darkener. He didn’t intend for this to be such a big revelation, but now that it’s blown up to that proportion, the realization that Ralsei isn’t real has inadvertently become yet another thing he’s hidden from the Fun Gang.

Later on in Chapter 3, during Board 2 of Tenna’s game show, Susie switches the controllers for Kris and herself around so they can solve a puzzle for her. Ralsei immediately gets upset upon finding out, likening it to cheating, and Susie retaliates by swapping Ralsei’s controls, giving him control of Kris’s character. He’s instantly uncomfortable with the newfound control, but after taking a picture for them, he finds himself enjoying the role a little more. This is the second instance of Ralsei having to utilize one of Kris’s abilities against his will, and this time, he’s kind of warming up to the concept. This is another instance of breaking down traditional party mechanics, even if it only lasts a short while.

Chapter 4 is where things reach a turning point for Ralsei as a character. Chapter 4’s Castle Town segment opens up with Ralsei inviting Kris and Susie to a tea party. It’s a very wholesome affair, and it allows Susie to relax a bit, which is all well and good, but this scene also hints at something bigger. Susie states that Ralsei’s changed, and he’s forced to look into himself a little deeper than before. He admits that he’s come to appreciate Susie’s strength, even though he once found it scary. He’s still a little shy about it, but there’s a boldness that wasn’t there before that adds to his character and makes him more three dimensional and well rounded as a person.

And then Susie asks Ralsei to eat a slice of his own cake. He denies the offer at first, but then he takes a bite and practically melts at the taste, stating that he’s never actually eaten his own food before. He states he’s only ever made it for Kris and Susie, never for himself. This interaction reeks of people pleasing behavior patterns, and this will not be the only time in the chapter that behavior like this will crop up.

Immediately after this interaction, Kris and Susie have the option to visit Ralsei’s room. Upon checking it out for the first time, they notice that it’s completely barren, save for a single window opposite to the door. There’s no furniture, no bedding, it looks like the room itself was haphazardly sketched in between other, bigger projects. When pressed, Ralsei states that he thought he didn’t need his own room, that making Kris and Susie happy is his only purpose, that he doesn’t deserve his own space. He admits that every skill he’s picked up has been for Kris and Susie, and that he didn’t have any interests or desires of his own prior to Deltarune’s events. He admits that he’s been developing his own wants and desires over the course of the past three chapters, and he admits that this newfound sense of self scares him. He even meekly asks Kris if he should be feeling these sorts of feelings at all.

Later in the chapter, Ralsei saves Kris and Susie from a statue of Gerson. He absentmindedly mentions that Gerson can’t be in Susie’s Dark World, likely because she didn’t know him personally before his passing. Again, there’s this assumption he makes that Susie knew this already, leading to Ralsei having inadvertently hidden something from the Fun Gang and putting them in danger yet again. Susie snaps at him, screaming at him to just tell her things, and this causes Ralsei to break down. He sobs about knowing so much it hurts, and never knowing when to say anything, and making the wrong choices about when to spill the beans and when to shut up. He ultimately ends his breakdown by begging Susie to just let him be the only one burdened by prophetic knowledge, so that if anyone had to hurt, it would only be him.

The people pleasing stench that’s currently wafting off of this man is thick enough to suffocate somebody at this point. He thinks so little of himself that he can’t fathom the idea of indulging in his own needs. A person needs to indulge in themselves from time to time, but Ralsei doesn’t believe himself to be worth the effort simply due to his nature as a darkener. Because he knows he’s not real in the same way that Kris and Susie are, he devalues himself and suffers in silence. Of course, since Ralsei has become more three dimensional as a character since Chapter 1, he’s developed more needs that have since gone unmet. This, combined with a chronic people pleasing attitude, results in this horrible inner conflict where his mind and body are screaming at him to indulge in his emotional needs while simultaneously making him feel guilty for doing so.

Ralsei can’t be the perfect picture of a cleric anymore. He’s too complex to be reduced to such simple concepts now, and he knows it, which scares him because that was how he identified himself before Deltarune’s events went down. He was the healer, he was the support, and that was all he was, but not anymore. And it scares him so badly, because he’s supposed to be the supportive one, and who’s gonna support him when everyone else needs him? Does he even deserve that sort of attention, or is he being selfish and dragging the team down? He’s not even real to begin with, so why do these feelings swirling in his chest feel so undeniably human?

[gigglegirlhappy]

These two girls are OC’s I made when I was around twelve years old. Originally, they were Undertale OC’s in a similar vein to Glitchtale’s Bête Noir, but they’ve long since grown past that origin and blossomed into their own people with their own story.

On the left is Fern. Back when I made her, she was one of those full time angst generator characters, akin to Shadow or Mewtwo, with a tragic backstory involving getting experimented on in a basement and systematically destroying herself to bring a loved one back from the dead. Nowadays, I still picture her as a tragic character with a lot of inner conflict, but the circumstances of how she got there are wildly different and far more nuanced than what they used to be. I might go into further detail on a later date. I might not.

On the right is Elise. She’s been through far more changes than Fern has in terms of design and character motivations. She actually used to be two separate characters, one a clone of the other, both having died (the teen angst strikes again). Nowadays, she has an energy closer to that of a cheeky poltergeist. The only thing that really stayed the same over the years is the fact that Elise is dead and haunting Fern because she has nothing better to do.

My girls really grew up since I first gave them life. I couldn’t be prouder of how far we’ve all come.

[gigglegirlhappy]

I’m glad the people are seeing what I’m seeing in Telenovela’s potential as a ship. I’d like to dive a little deeper into how I personally see Tenna and Smitten’s relationship unfolding.

It’s not a comfy, wholesome, “aw they’re in love” kind of thing. It’s a tragic codependency that twists in on itself until they’re tangled together like neglected Christmas lights.

Smitten comes home after a long day at work, exhausted. His weary mind forgets the usual peck on the cheek routine Tenna’s so fond of on his way to the couch. Right as he flops down, Tenna clears his throat. “You forgot something,” he says, but he won’t specify what, leaving a weary Smitten to guess for himself. He guesses wrong, of course. The living room air feels like arsenic seeping in their bones for the rest of the night.

Tenna is approached by a neighbor complaining of the noise after a string of heated arguments. He spends the rest of the night trying to come up with ways to let Smitten know about the risk of getting another noise complaint without pushing any buttons and launching into yet another argument. Smitten catches exactly zero hints, much to Tenna’s growing frustration. This all culminates in a blowup of “the noise, damnit! I’ve been talking about the damned noise all night, and you keep blowing me off! Do you even care, Smitten? Do you even care about me at all?”

They cuddle close after a night of mediocre sex. Tenna makes an offhand comment on how it’s not the same as it was when things were new. Smitten responds with something to the effect of “so you don’t love me anymore? I’m so devoted to us, why aren’t you?”

They should’ve broken up a long time ago. They should’ve, but they won’t. They do still care about each other. They care too much, really. They care so much that they’re willing to ignore everything wrong with their relationship and pretend that everything’s okay just so they won’t have to see each other break. They’re both chronic people pleasers, and they can’t stand knowing they’re not pleasing their person.

And Smitten’s the bottom.

[gigglegirlhappy]

Shitty Telenovela edit ugh this ship has me actin like a weasel in heat

[gigglegirlhappy]

My agenda

Deltarune Chapter 3 spoilers ahead! Zero mention of Chapter 4, though.

I played Deltarune Chapter 3 when it came out on June 4th (watch the VOD on my twitch!) and something I noticed was that the chapter felt a lot more stale than the first two chapters. There were a lot of recycled themes and ideas, not only borrowed from Chapters 1 and 2, but original ideas from Chapter 3 that were also recycled into oblivion. The over reliance on recycled content made me feel a sense of fatigue throughout the game show segment of the chapter, to the point where I audibly groaned when the bonus round was announced.

Round one was genuinely fun. I adored the NES Zelda inspiration for the gaming segments, as I’ve played the original Zelda before and I could fully appreciate the callbacks. The physical challenge was interesting in concept, though the way Kris controlled was deeply frustrating to me in particular (why can’t I adjust where they land while they’re in the air?). This is like, 65% a skill issue on my part, so I’m not docking Toby for that particular challenge.

Round two is where things started feeling stale. The NES Zelda thing was back, and most of the assets were reused from the first round. It was okay, but it felt repetitive, and it dragged for longer than I’d like. The physical challenge was a lot better, but it wasn’t enough to get rid of the bland taste in my mouth.

The bonus round was dogshit. I wanted the show to end by the time the bonus round was brought up as a possibility. I had my fun, but I was over it, and I wanted to get on to more traditional Deltarune gameplay. It took me a while to figure out how to escape Tenna’s looping dialogue, and it was giving serious 2011 creepypasta vibes. It was only after I figured out how to turn the program off that I started really feeling like I was playing Deltarune again.

This was entirely intentional, and it’s wonderfully masterful storytelling.

See, this is actually a commentary on Tenna’s own fear of obsolescence and abandonment. Tenna is so scared to death of being thrown away that he puts on a wacky, desperate performance slathered in nostalgia to make people like him, and when it works, he keeps going until he overstays his welcome because that’s all he knows how to do. The same content over and over, no matter how great it once was, will grow stale over time. Tenna mentions something in his boss fight about having burn-in, which is generally what happens to older TVs when they play the same content over and over (Switch 1 users remember this concern with the OLED screens). Reruns are Tenna’s bread and butter, it’s what he knows, so naturally once he finds his niche, he milks it until the sweetness turns sticky and overpowering.

This reminds me of a wonderful visual novel produced by Black Tabby Games. Slay the Princess: The Pristine Cut is a game where you must slay a princess locked in a cabin to save the world, among other things. It’s a wonderful commentary on the choices we make, the perspectives we offer and the nature of life, death, entropy and how they’re all a necessary part of the human experience, and everyone should play it at least once.

Now, there are several routes this game has to offer, and one of these routes has a chapter that echoes Deltarune Chapter 3’s theming almost beat for beat. I’m talking about the epilogue chapter, Happily Ever After.

Happily Ever After seats the Long Quiet (TLQ from now on) across the Princess. A shadowy figure hovers behind her, a figure we later learn is one of the many voices TLQ can encounter in the game, the Voice of the Smitten. Now, Smitten is bent on keeping both the Princess and TLQ in the cabin, because if the Princess leaves, the story (and the world, I guess) ends, and he loses her. Smitten does this by providing them with bountiful feasts and wonderful games, and they’re fun at first, but as the Princess and TLQ continue to eat and play, things get less fun until the food needs to be choked down and the game becomes a slog to get through.

Eventually, the Princess has no choice but to admit that she’s sick of Smitten’s efforts to keep her in the cabin, that she had fun at first, but now that she’s done the same stuff over and over, now that she’s avoided change in every way Smitten can think of, she’s tired of putting off the inevitable, and she’s ready to leave the cabin with TLQ by her side (as she’s barred from leaving by herself). TLQ takes her by the hand, they leave both Smitten and the cabin behind, and they dance under the stars in a brief but beautiful last hurrah before the world is consumed by entropy.

As previously implied, Tenna’s character arc in Deltarune Chapter 3 is almost identical to Smitten’s during Happily Ever After. Both Tenna and Smitten have a fear of abandonment and losing someone important for them. For Tenna, it’s Kris and their family, and for Smitten, it’s the Princess. Of course, neither Tenna or Smitten can prevent someone from leaving them behind, regardless of their efforts. Kris and the Princess are the ones with power in their respective dynamics. Kris can choose to let Toriel get rid of Tenna, and the Princess can choose to leave Smitten and the cabin with TLQ. The most they can do is put on a grand performance to convince them why they’re worth keeping around. At the tail end of each respective chapter, both Tenna and Smitten express unbearable boredom at their own content too, but they keep producing anyway because they can’t handle what might happen if they stop and give Kris/the Princess the opportunity to leave them behind. They don’t have any power here. They’re just groveling at the feet of those they care about, trying desperately to stay relevant in a world that changes faster than they can hope to catch up.

I think this makes Tenna and Smitten great insights into how a deep seated fear of abandonment can result in repetitive, desperate behavior patterns. I also think Tenna and Smitten should kiss sloppy style. This entire analysis was a flimsy excuse to ship these idiots. I’m calling the ship Telenovela. Fuck you, goodnight.

[gigglegirlhappy]

Deltarune Chapter 3 spoilers ahead! Zero mention of Chapter 4, though.

I played Deltarune Chapter 3 when it came out on June 4th (watch the VOD on my twitch!) and something I noticed was that the chapter felt a lot more stale than the first two chapters. There were a lot of recycled themes and ideas, not only borrowed from Chapters 1 and 2, but original ideas from Chapter 3 that were also recycled into oblivion. The over reliance on recycled content made me feel a sense of fatigue throughout the game show segment of the chapter, to the point where I audibly groaned when the bonus round was announced.

Round one was genuinely fun. I adored the NES Zelda inspiration for the gaming segments, as I’ve played the original Zelda before and I could fully appreciate the callbacks. The physical challenge was interesting in concept, though the way Kris controlled was deeply frustrating to me in particular (why can’t I adjust where they land while they’re in the air?). This is like, 65% a skill issue on my part, so I’m not docking Toby for that particular challenge.

Round two is where things started feeling stale. The NES Zelda thing was back, and most of the assets were reused from the first round. It was okay, but it felt repetitive, and it dragged for longer than I’d like. The physical challenge was a lot better, but it wasn’t enough to get rid of the bland taste in my mouth.

The bonus round was dogshit. I wanted the show to end by the time the bonus round was brought up as a possibility. I had my fun, but I was over it, and I wanted to get on to more traditional Deltarune gameplay. It took me a while to figure out how to escape Tenna’s looping dialogue, and it was giving serious 2011 creepypasta vibes. It was only after I figured out how to turn the program off that I started really feeling like I was playing Deltarune again.

This was entirely intentional, and it’s wonderfully masterful storytelling.

See, this is actually a commentary on Tenna’s own fear of obsolescence and abandonment. Tenna is so scared to death of being thrown away that he puts on a wacky, desperate performance slathered in nostalgia to make people like him, and when it works, he keeps going until he overstays his welcome because that’s all he knows how to do. The same content over and over, no matter how great it once was, will grow stale over time. Tenna mentions something in his boss fight about having burn-in, which is generally what happens to older TVs when they play the same content over and over (Switch 1 users remember this concern with the OLED screens). Reruns are Tenna’s bread and butter, it’s what he knows, so naturally once he finds his niche, he milks it until the sweetness turns sticky and overpowering.

This reminds me of a wonderful visual novel produced by Black Tabby Games. Slay the Princess: The Pristine Cut is a game where you must slay a princess locked in a cabin to save the world, among other things. It’s a wonderful commentary on the choices we make, the perspectives we offer and the nature of life, death, entropy and how they’re all a necessary part of the human experience, and everyone should play it at least once.

Now, there are several routes this game has to offer, and one of these routes has a chapter that echoes Deltarune Chapter 3’s theming almost beat for beat. I’m talking about the epilogue chapter, Happily Ever After.

Happily Ever After seats the Long Quiet (TLQ from now on) across the Princess. A shadowy figure hovers behind her, a figure we later learn is one of the many voices TLQ can encounter in the game, the Voice of the Smitten. Now, Smitten is bent on keeping both the Princess and TLQ in the cabin, because if the Princess leaves, the story (and the world, I guess) ends, and he loses her. Smitten does this by providing them with bountiful feasts and wonderful games, and they’re fun at first, but as the Princess and TLQ continue to eat and play, things get less fun until the food needs to be choked down and the game becomes a slog to get through.

Eventually, the Princess has no choice but to admit that she’s sick of Smitten’s efforts to keep her in the cabin, that she had fun at first, but now that she’s done the same stuff over and over, now that she’s avoided change in every way Smitten can think of, she’s tired of putting off the inevitable, and she’s ready to leave the cabin with TLQ by her side (as she’s barred from leaving by herself). TLQ takes her by the hand, they leave both Smitten and the cabin behind, and they dance under the stars in a brief but beautiful last hurrah before the world is consumed by entropy.

As previously implied, Tenna’s character arc in Deltarune Chapter 3 is almost identical to Smitten’s during Happily Ever After. Both Tenna and Smitten have a fear of abandonment and losing someone important for them. For Tenna, it’s Kris and their family, and for Smitten, it’s the Princess. Of course, neither Tenna or Smitten can prevent someone from leaving them behind, regardless of their efforts. Kris and the Princess are the ones with power in their respective dynamics. Kris can choose to let Toriel get rid of Tenna, and the Princess can choose to leave Smitten and the cabin with TLQ. The most they can do is put on a grand performance to convince them why they’re worth keeping around. At the tail end of each respective chapter, both Tenna and Smitten express unbearable boredom at their own content too, but they keep producing anyway because they can’t handle what might happen if they stop and give Kris/the Princess the opportunity to leave them behind. They don’t have any power here. They’re just groveling at the feet of those they care about, trying desperately to stay relevant in a world that changes faster than they can hope to catch up.

I think this makes Tenna and Smitten great insights into how a deep seated fear of abandonment can result in repetitive, desperate behavior patterns. I also think Tenna and Smitten should kiss sloppy style. This entire analysis was a flimsy excuse to ship these idiots. I’m calling the ship Telenovela. Fuck you, goodnight.

[gigglegirlhappy]

A world of woozy floozy flashing lights.

[gigglegirlhappy]

Man this Captcha is really hard.

[gigglegirlhappy]

Birth of a Rivalry: Developmental is complete with two final chapters! This fic has been almost two years in the making, and I couldn’t be more proud of how it turned out. Now, onto the final third of the story, where shit really hits the fan!

Hey remember that time I wrote the single worst Sonic the Hedgehog fanfiction known to man?

I wrote more!

The first two chapters of Birth of a Rivalry: Developmental are out now! Whether this is a good thing or a bad thing is entirely up to your discretion.

Link under the cut (because it’s a little heavy. Not as heavy as before, but still heavy nonetheless).

[gigglegirlhappy]

All Hail King Papyrus

[gigglegirlhappy]

Your honor, she’s autistic as hell.

Happy autism acceptance month yall

[gigglegirlhappy]

Oh yeah, I uploaded a new fic to my AO3 (in my linktree!) recently. I’m on my Metal Sonic type shit can you tell?

Metal Sonic knew that Dr. Eggman was able to love a child. He had the resources to give them the world a thousand times over. He’s willing to provide them with all of the love and support they needed to thrive under his care. He knew that Dr. Eggman was both willing and able to be a good father.

He just wasn’t willing to do it for him.

[gigglegirlhappy]

Their dynamic I think.

[gigglegirlhappy]

Remember that one Twitter Takeover where Eggman’s asked what his favorite robot is and he responds with the Egg Salamander from the Rush games? Metal Sonic remembers.