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Götterdämerung MD-80 or Thanks for all the Flights. . .

AA has scheduled the final MD-80 flight for Sept. 4, 2019 and it’s already booked. Oh well. At least you can make your own boarding pass to commemorate not being on the flight.

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Three line review of “Ready or Not”

On a Friday afternoon, I wanted only three things from this movie: some jump scares, a few laughs and lots of Rowdy Roddy Piper “I’m all out of bubblegum” moments. I got bupkis.

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The Best of the Worst

Bad writing is everywhere. Almost all of is unintentional. Lack of talent or language mastery seems to be the common causes. Sometimes though, we can’t help ourselves. That’s where the Bulwer Lytton Fiction Contest makes an entrance.

When you can’t resist the siren song of plunging into the depths of mediocrity, go bad. I mean REALLY bad.

Here’s what I’ve been working on for an Xmas party challenge and to submit to the contest:

(You may want to save these to read on a dark and stormy night)

The Top, er, Bottom 10 by Glen

1. Her pulchritude and my total studliness fanned the flames of romance on Tinder and when we met, the beauteous arsonist seated across from me lit a five-alarm fire in my heart.

2. “Kelp me!,” he exclaimed before we dumped a wheelbarrow’s worth of seaweed on him, but little did we know the man suffered from both a lisp and allergies to salt water flora.

3. After quaffing gin repeatedly the night before, my tongue felt like a piece of felt left in the blazing sun of the Sonoran Desert that a rattlesnake had felt OK to shit upon.

4. While the trapeze artists swung above us in pendular motion, much like a pendulum, the ringmaster gesticulated his arms in a grand gesture and then pointed to a funny clown he called “Fun Pants” who was actually sans pants and we saw his, how can I put this, “fun parts.”

5. The scary monster slowly paced inch by inch to the crippled paraplegic woman who retreated inch by inch in her creaky,  squeeky and decrepit wheelchair.

6. It was a case of mistaken identity, like when someone thinks you’re someone else, if you catch my drift.

7. “I’m totally lit AF,” he intoned as his manicured coiffure caught fire and he danced away: “It’s all good!”

8. On a gray day outside the Toucan Club, the grizzled jazz musician dropped his maroon saxophone case and fished vigorously in his brown overcoat pocket for a silver needle and black tar heroin, but instead came up with a wad of S&H Green Stamps which gave him the blues.

9. This was the day that I learned the basic fundamentals of living a life irregardless of redundantly repeated events presented before me.

10. To win the hand of Andromeda, the girl, not the galaxy, Perseus, who was actually a fisherman by trade, had to cut off and decapitate Medusa’s snake-covered head and present it to the gods who would probably totally dig it.

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I’m reading this now. Woof!

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A Spoonful of Black Widow by Kerry Perdue My rating: 4 of 5 stars You'd better buckle up because Carol Denaki is a wild ride in more ways than one. This rollerskating femme fatale leaves a trail of broken hearts from Minneapolis to L.A. This cowgirl always winds up on top no matter what. View all my reviews

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Gatorade Bottle

We’ve been here almost forever This time I came from the earth Liquid -- thick, gooey and black I’ll go back again when you’re done. A clear plastic bottle does not impress-- You open, drink and me you discard But use your famed “consciousness” As I am today, you may be tomorrow No surprise that we are the same We’re kin as you suspect Both forged in fury and heat When a singularity was the universe. With a bang, we arrived! We’re still outward bound But we shall meet again When our universe collapses And we start over.

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L.A. Haiku

(Or something to do while students write their own poems)

Big truck in my lane Does not know laws of physics Get out of my space!

Orange about to drop Beware the old red squirrel Life deserves better

Bear near swimming pool Humans flee when you approach Do a cannonball!

Bird sees alley cat Cat sees delectable dinner Goldfish spits with joy

Hot, dry and crinkly Not a soul needs an oven When Santa Anas blow

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Siren #34

A post shared by Glen Golightly (@glengolightly) on May 15, 2017 at 12:01pm PDT

Three Los Angeles icons. Meet Siren #34 giving mute testimony to Cold War insanity. Let’s not go there again.

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Driving through the car wash on a Manhattan Beach Sunday.

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Slow-motion -- Nighttime on Sunset Blvd.

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Slow-motion video -- playing with fire.

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Saturday afternoon -- burgers, files, airliners and slow-motion video.

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Shooting this made me think of the Rover from The Prisoner. It's my salute to Number 6 and Schizoid Man!

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Flags are flying. . .