goblinbraingo-ooh

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jokes to make after failure that aren’t self-deprecating:

I’m the best to ever do it

Nobody saw that (best if said loudly)

No one’s ever done it like me

I could be President/they should make me President

Behold, a mere fraction of my power!

The public wants to be me soooooo bad

I’m an expert in (thing you just failed at)

How could this have happened to god’s favorite princess?

Nothing ibuprofen and a glass of water cant fix

I’m being sabotaged

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"mirror mirror on my phone, who's the baddest?

✨ us, hello? ✨"

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1993 Baby Godzilla Canon BELPIA copier ad

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the construction workers have something to say

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mayfly problematic age gap of 2 hours

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love going "a friend of mine" irl and it's a tumblr mutual

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What if water didn't have surface tension and whenever you spilled some, the whole floor of your entire apartment was covered in a 2 micrometer deep puddle

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the mutuals would love that

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whats even the point of drawing a pair of huge juicy honkas if youre not gonna show off their softness and weight??

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knight who is constantly searching for a good and noble king to serve but cannot fucking find one for the life of him so he has to become the good and noble king himself.

and now all these other knights are coming around like "please let me serve you" and like obviously hes going to let them serve him thats the point of being a good and noble king but its also. very annoying. one of you become the good and noble king for once lets trade

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happy disability pride month and once again, FUCK lazy subtitles. fuck the [speaks foreign language] instead of actually transcribing the words, fuck shortening sentences and changing whats been said for no reason, fuck censoring swearing in captions but not in audio and fuck anyone who says youre being 'too sensitive' for being upset about a lack of accessibility

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i think we need to bring back calling people internet famous instead of calling them influencers like there needs to be something borderline derogatory injected back into it

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people without any whimsy scare me. why are you like that. where are your trinkets.

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THE PITT 1.02 • 8:00 A.M.