godeatersblog

[godeatersblog]

LIFEUPDATE: 25 now and preparing for nursing school rn and it’s so stressful and scary but I believe I can do it. Im gonna be making so much money when I pass that nclex, work for a year full time, save money in that time and then go back to school so I can get my BSN and become an aesthetic injector/nurse in a medispa or plastic surgery clinic. They really don’t lie that when you turn 25 and your frontal cortex is completely formed that you become more sensible because i am becoming more and more responsible and accountable on things i need to do and what i need to fix about myself. I still struggle here and there given that i lost my car because some DUMBASS doesn’t know to check their blind spots and to also signal but im getting a new car soon and more money soon especially w this new job i have! No more minimum wage and im onto big girl things too. Im getting soooo old now that i need to get shit done before im wrinkly and unable to do what i want. I wanna see Mel at max lvl w everything in her stats maxed out too (that was so ugly of me to say but idgaf). I feel like after years and years of trying to find myself again after dealing w the heartbreak/trauma my ex left me with. It’s amazing how time really truly heals. I never thought i would and although i am still growing and learning im doing better and onto newer and better things. Aaaaaaa thank the fucking devil i am doing better or else I would’ve been a schizo by age 25

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need my hair n LASHES done again!!!! GAH

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[godeatersblog]

I am too sentimental about everything like especially if it has to do with nostalgia. Something about it just makes me feel so sighhhhhhhh but im grateful i got to experience those things. Even though i cant experience that same level of innocent joy ever again. I’ll cherish when i did and strive to recreate a feeling of happiness for myself that’ll make me feel like a kid again.

To my future self: this is you on may 10, Saturday at 11:50 pm high as hell and reminiscing again

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[godeatersblog]

I miss my bf dick so baddd I never knew i could like dick this much until this man

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The way I can easily still make myself cry for hours is insane. I mean this unironically but being an empathetic person is so hard. I cry so easily. Now I can’t sleep because I hadddd to keep watching sad tiktok videos and now I can’t breathe out one side of my nose -_-

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I always tell myself if I could go back to the past with no consequences at all even if I change some things in the timeline, I would do it. No hesitations asked but then I realized that I don’t know what decision I would make. On one hand, I miss my mom and the childhood I had with her in it but on another, I love my friends and Allen and I want them in my life so badly with my mom included in it. I wish I could have both. I hope when I die, it’s both. Because I need all of them in my life. I love all of them.

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I miss when I lived back in 22 walker ranch. I miss it lots. I miss waking up on Saturdays to watch the Saturday morning cartoons and then watch animal planet afterwards. I specifically remember watching lots of pit bulls and parolees. I loved that show so much. I miss the days when I was with my mom in that house. I miss when the house would smell like whatever she was cooking and she’d always let me snack on it. My mom loved me so much. This song feels like the love she had for me as her baby. I truly miss her lots. Not a day goes by that where im not sad and crying because I truly miss you so much. No one can ever replace you mommy. I can’t wait until we meet again so I can tell you how much I love you. I miss hearing your voice, it feels like I’ve forgotten it but I know I’ll always remember the way you said my name. I love you so much mom and I miss you.

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i don’t even need to ask i just do it because I love him. he lets me use it whenever but all i use it on is groceries n food lmao

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every time i see those videos where it brings back so much childhood nostalgia it just does something to me that makes me truly believe that when it is truly my time to go, I’ll be happy because i just want to be a little kid again. idk, somewhere in my head i believe that when i die, I’ll go back to a time when i was happiest: when i was a kid. If i could go back to a certain time in my life with no consequences at all, id go back to when i was a kid living in my first house in ptown/22 w ranch or when i was in hs living in 135.

Inserted the specific tt audio I hear/feel when i am reminiscing. It makes me very bittersweet and honestly extremely depressed because what i miss about my childhood was that my mom was there. All the memories i have of her, are all there. I want to live in each and every one of those memories and savor it all because i know what will happen in the near future for her. My mom was like the sun. She was very warm and loving. her hugs were the best. I want to give her all the appreciation and love she deserved and that i never showed her. She was busy working herself to death for me and i was just, ignorant and disrespectful for not even acknowledging her pain. I want her to know id always want her as my mom in any lifetime, in any universe we may be in. She is the mom id choose for myself. I miss you so much mom. Maraming miss na miss kita. There isn’t a day where I don’t think of you. I still love you and miss you so much.

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bf luh me >•<

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I just realized my baby spike turns 14 this year 🥺🥺🥺🥺 he’s getting so old but he still has some spunk to him heheh but I wanna appreciate him as much as I can everyday

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im so excited to see who i become next year because I know I’ll be a better person by next year. I will achieve the goals i made for myself this year no matter what so i can see what i wanna see next year. I am gonna be so fucking sexy, smart, funny and successful.

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I still got it and will be even hotter and better this year idgaf

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March 8 2025