gojosprisonrealm

[gojosprisonrealm]

a stsg playlist for you!

hi everyone! my brain is constantly full of stsg brainrot, and likewise, i hear lyrics and immediately have it stained in my mind as a stsg quote. so, here are some song recs/ songs that are just canonically stsg for you along with my highlighted lines from the song that made me align it with them! just bc i’m so brainrotted! -xo, lizzy

ps, i see them and i immediately need a cigarette and divorced dad rock.

thick skull- paramore

“hit over the head (epiphany)/

over my head (repeatedly)/

thick skull never did (nothing for me)/

same lesson again (come on, give it to me)”

the chorus of this song makes me envision satoru falling victim to the prison realm upon seeing kenjaku in suguru’s body. he’s been torn apart by suguru and let him go unscathed, and he never truly learned from that, seeing as though leaving suguru’s body after death is what caused his downfall.

weird fishes/arpeggi- radiohead

“i’d be crazy not to follow/

follow where you lead/

your eyes/

they turn me/

turn me into phantoms/

i follow to the edge/

of the earth/

and fall off”

if i could just use all the lyrics to this song, i would. satoru’s six eyes are a focal point of their arc throughout the manga, seeing as geto explains in the HI/PD arc that if he had gojo’s eyes, he could fulfill his goals. and of course, gojo’s six eyes come back to bite him later when they recognize suguru in the shibuya arc.

from me, the moon- lav

“tell me if the years are all gone/

is the moon still in love with the sun?/

do you still keep count of my sins?”

i fear this one is a slap in the face. they spend so much time together only for suguru to throw them to the side so quickly. i envision this one from satoru’s pov, asking if his other half still wants him. it could also be suguru, too, in that third line, asking if he’s done too much to ever regain satoru in his life.

i guess- mitski

“i guess, i guess, i guess this is the end/

i’ll have to learn to be somebody else/

it’s been you and me since before i was me/

without you, i don’t yet know quite how to live”

they had an identity together as the strongest. they reference that often in the HI/PD arc. i think that’s why suguru’s line in their KFC breakup (yk the one, are you sg bc you’re the strongest, vice versa) hits so hard. gojo had always thought of them as the strongest together while suguru had always seen satoru as an entity so far out of his reach. gojo had to relearn who he was without the man who made him so strong.

past life- tame impala

“well, somewhere between a lover and a friend/

it was different back then/

surreal, poetic but uncertain/

like a chick flick with a confusing end”

yall had to see this one coming. it’s SO THEM. satoru sees suguru in everything, and im sure he sees themselves in yuji and megumi. also, the reference to things being different back then ties together beautifully with the manga’s timeline of introducing their relationship in a flashback. i’d also like to touch on that last line. the confusing end can mean so many things, but i mainly pull from it a reference to their complicated timeline of betrayal, death, resurrection, imprisonment, etc. however, it could also be related to their relationship status when they parted ways at KFC and when suguru died. did that love still exist? we’ll never know, especially bc we can’t be 100% sure what suguru’s last words were.

i’m not a mountain- sarah kinsley

“i swear im unattached/

living in the past, but/

i can’t get off my feet/

you say we’ll all go mad/

but i don’t believe that/

so you’ll prove it to me”

first two lines remind me of the HI/PD arc in its entirety being satoru’s memory in a dream. the last three are reminiscent of suguru’s slipping mental health and his ability to commit what satoru had believed to be impossible (aka, mass murder and leaving him).

i’d hate me too- susannah joffe

“when we last spoke i was a dog with a broken leg/

i couldn’t run to you so i’d bite till you’d shoot me dead/

…

i wanted you to hate me so you’d know i was still there”

i have nothing to say here. just pain.

what are we gonna do now- indigo de souza

“i know you’re worn, you’re exhausted/

this is love/

this is lost on you/

i’m holding my night in your hands”

gojo NOTICED that geto was depressed and detached before the breakup even happened but he tried to see past it because he didn’t want things to CHANGE. i can’t they’re so tragic. he knew he was exhausted but he wanted their love to last and he entrusted his happiness to geto. fuck, man.

duvet- bôa

“and you don’t seem the lying kind/

a shame that i can read your mind”

satoru very clearly did not want to believe that suguru had committed the atrocities he did, but he could believe it because he had noticed how off he was. he read him like a book. this could also signify gojo’s disbelief in seeing suguru’s walking body after having killed him. he’d know his soulmate anywhere.

i saw you in a dream- the japanese house

“i saw you in a dream/

you had stayed the same/

you were beckoning me/

said that i had changed”

this one is definitely from suguru’s pov. we all know the breakup tore up satoru, but it had to destroy suguru, too. his drastic change has to haunt him at night right alongside the thought of gojo.

the comfort of a laugh track- roar

“will i live in shame of/

the things in the past that i should have done for you?/

and is it possible to/

forgive all the ignorant ones if they’re just too young?”

satoru wishes he could have done more to help suguru in his poor wellbeing. maybe then he wouldn’t have left. satoru also forgives his students for their ignorant optimism in spite of knowing what’s to come for them if they’re anything like himself. this entire song is stsg coded; i highly recommend.

—

ANYWAYS, sorry for the yap sesh. i love stsg with my whole heart, as tragic as they are. enjoy the last few days of pride month, folks.

[gojosprisonrealm]

from a past life- satosugu

pride, but make devastating. teehee- lizzy

“Well, somewhere between a lover and a friend

It was different back then

Surreal, poetic but uncertain

Like a bizarre chick-flick with a confusing end”

-Kevin Parker

Satoru couldn’t recall a time when he ever believed in seeing ghosts. Sounds strange, yeah? He exorcised curses on a near daily basis, but that’s not quite what he meant. He meant more along the lines of someone’s dead soul treading the Earth. Not in the form of an attached curse, like in the case of Rika. More like a commonplace film ghost. Eerily similar to the body the soul used to inhabit.

At first, the sighting of the ghost he saw was too good to be true. It happened on his way back from a staff meeting for Jujutsu Tech instructors. Satoru would be lying if he said the meeting was entirely protocol— They had shot the shit over drinks. He’d seen a side of Ieiri he hadn’t seen in a literal decade. It was the kind of night that made him feel surrounded by the youthful optimism he’d longed for since…

Truthfully, the “meeting” only lasted an hour. Ieiri and himself had stayed another two. Things finally felt normal. Felt nostalgic. Felt real. Shoko Ieiri had been pretty closed off since the deaths of her classmate in high school and the tragedy of Riko. Honestly, Satoru had been too. Going through something of that sort at an age that impressionable left scars. Being holed up behind walls of steel made it easier to prevent those.

He and Ieiri shared stories that made them feel like their walls were down. They recalled their youth, swapping anecdotes of classroom debates and mission-based exams. She even teased him with recollections of the beginnings of his and Suguru’s relationship. He never imagined her poking fun at that, considering he had left almost a decade ago to attempt murdering humanity en masse.

It hurt her, too, and he knew that.

The air was silent and heavy as the two trekked through the parking garage in downtown Tokyo. City lights lit up the dark and faint music could be heard in all directions. They took their time going to their cars, dim lamps hardly illuminating the garage.

“Have you registered that Yuuta kid, yet?” Ieiri asked Satoru, walking shoulder to shoulder with the occasional buzzed bump.

Satoru hummed, shoving his hands into his pockets. “Okkotsu only just agreed to come to Jujutsu Tech two days ago, so I filed the paperwork and printed his student ID today.”

Ieiri quirked an eyebrow, her usual purple eye bags folding. “What’s his rank?” Instead of answering with words, Satoru pulled it from his pocket and flashed it in her face. Her jaw fell open. “Special grade? The kid doesn’t even know how to wield energy!”

“He doesn’t need to,” Satoru tucked the card back into his pocket for safekeeping. “Rika’s presence alone is enough to grant him that title. Besides, he’ll get there. We all did.”

“You and Suguru only did because you fed off of each other’s competitive spirits. What about Yuuta? Who does he have to encourage him?” Ieiri inquired, pulling a pack of cigarettes from her coat pocket.

Satoru could only stare on forward as they paced up the next ramp. He listened to the flicking of her lighter and the singeing of the cigarette beneath the flame. He didn’t think he could muster up the words to speak. She didn’t have to say a word for him to understand what she was implying in that statement. He and Suguru had a deeper connection than just competitive spirits. They were in love.

They’d started seeing each other in their second year at Jujutsu Tech. To be honest, they butted heads too much in their first year to really get to know each other— which says a lot, considering they continued to butt heads into their second and third years. They’d skip class together to go to matinee films; they had multiple spots across campus where they could meet in private and not get caught. Stealing moments in secrecy made them feel like they weren’t two of the most powerful beings in the country. They were allowed to just be Satoru and Suguru.

Ieiri had found out not long into their relationship. They had been sneaking a kiss outside their dorms after dinner and hadn’t realized Ieiri was smoking on the porch. It was actually very humorous: the three of them held eye contact for at least twenty seconds before someone said anything, let alone moved. Nervous for what she’d say, the two boys had stepped away from each other and began rambling about how normal it was to kiss your friends good night.

Ieiri had quickly put out her cigarette and only said, “As if you two could get any more insufferable.”

After she noticed that Satoru wasn’t answering her hypothetical question, she lowered her cigarette and turned to look towards his stoic expression. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought him up.”

It was different when they were drinking and the mood was high. He could get by with jokes about how they thought they were sly in high school. But for it to be brought up in such a serious and reflective moment only made him feel sick.

They stopped at Ieiri’s car and leaned up against the trunk hood. “Don’t worry about it. He was your friend, too. You’re allowed to talk about him,” Satoru replied after a long moment of silence.

“But I wasn’t his boyfriend. I try to be mindful of that. I just haven’t been close enough with you lately to even talk about it, so it slipped my mind,” She brought the cigarette to her lips.

Satoru pushed his glasses up by the bridge of his nose and then gripped the hood of the trunk. “I’ve missed spending time with you, Shoko.”

“We should do this more often,” She replied. “I don’t mind seeing you buzzed. It gives me material for later jokes. Especially when you get sick.”

“Shut the fuck up,” he lightly swatted at her shoulder, causing a small smile to form beneath the cigarette between her teeth. “I don’t always throw up when I’m drinking.”

Ieiri shrugged with a shit-eating grin. “I don’t know. You did a lot in school.”

“Well, we’re adults now. That was a one-time thing,” Satoru crossed his arms and stuck out his lower lip.

After a small chuckle left Ieiri’s lips, Satoru turned to face her again. He hadn’t heard Shoko laugh in years. And when he said years, he meant years.

He reached down and grabbed her hand. He curled his fingers around her palm, his chest aching for how simple things used to be the last time he’d heard her laugh. Ieiri’s smile fell and she returned the gesture, squeezing his hand tight.

“I know you don’t hate me as much as you let on, Ieiri,” Satoru teased, holding the hand of his best friend. No matter how much time went by, he knew she’d always be there.

Shoko blew a puff of smoke from her lips and scoffed. “You wish.”

Satoru took that as code for “You’re right.”

They silently agreed simultaneously that they needed to get home before classes tomorrow morning and parted ways. Satoru waved back and he kept on his trek up the garage and Shoko climbed into the drivers seat, squashing the cigarette under her foot.

He suddenly felt very alone, more so than the last couple of years. Maybe it was because he finally felt reconnected with Ieiri after the night’s discussions. Or maybe he just was lonely. Whatever the case, he didn’t let on, just continued up the ramps, forgoing the stairwells in the corners of each floor. He needed this walk and figured that the longer, the better.

Eventually he reached his car. Instead of feeling relieved to be at his destination, he felt uneasy. He knew immediately it was his six eyes picking up on something, but the presence felt alien. It felt… impossible. He shut his driver’s door and shoved the key back into his pocket, stepping out past his back bumper again to scan the area.

Dim, dull, and deserted. Where was the presence?

It could’ve just been on a floor above or below him. He chose to believe that. It didn’t matter, after all, because his infinity had his back. He spun around on his heel and reproached his car door, but froze. There was something in his side mirror. A figure. A ghost.

He whipped around and saw someone walking down from the topmost level of the garage. They had dark hair and baggy sweats and hands shoved nonchalantly in their pockets. Satoru’s uneasiness returned. His instinct was right. He should know that by now.

The figure paused, Satoru froze once more, and it dawned upon him. It had to be a ghost. It was a phantom of what was, dancing in his line of vision like a lingering memory meant to taunt him for his lack of action. It was Suguru.

Maybe it was because it felt safer to assume this was his long-passed spirit treading the Earth, or maybe he just didn’t think he could handle speaking to him, but Satoru chose to believe this was Suguru’s ghost visiting him on the living plane.

It definitely felt like it. He stood so ominously across the concrete floor, the dim lamps flickering overhead in a way that obscured his face. He seemed too collected to be the Suguru he remembered, anyhow. Suguru wouldn’t be smiling at him right now. Suguru would be showing emotion and at least showing some sign of hesitance, holding himself back from running up to his old lover, right?

But Satoru’s six eyes never lied. That was Suguru Geto— in the flesh, not in spirit. It was, in fact, his lover, but this was a new version of him, not the one he knew from their past lives.

Satoru threw up in his mouth, and as gross as it was, he quickly swallowed it. Maybe Ieiri was right and he did get sick easy after drinking.

“Satoru,” the man across the way finally iterated. The sound of his name leaving Suguru’s lips felt so natural and reminiscent of their youth, but it also felt tangibly fake. “What are the odds I would run into you in a place as mundane as this? It almost feels like one of our secret dates.”

Satoru began to sweat as Suguru approached him, but he made sure to present as calm and stoic as possible. “How the fuck did you manage to find me?” Satoru managed to spit out.

“Surely that’s not the proper way to greet an ex,” Suguru stopped in his tracks with about five feet of room between them.

“There are a few more striking ways I could greet you right now, but I’m feeling generous,” Satoru seethed.

“You wouldn’t dare, Satoru, I know you too well. You’ve had the chance to kill me before, what makes you think you could do it now?”

Satoru hoped his expression wasn’t letting on how hurt he was and he sure hoped his tone wasn’t either. “What are you doing here? Why come see me?”

“I’ve heard some rumors from cursed spirits I’ve encountered. Something about a queen of curses,” Suguru implied.

Satoru felt a pang in his chest. Of course he wasn’t here just to see him. Why would he be? “Seems like you know all you need to, then.”

“Not quite. She’s attached to someone. I’d have her by now if this weren’t the case,” Suguru’s expression hardened as Satoru dodged his implications.

“Are you sure you’re not just incapable?” The sorcerer replied, placing a hand on his hip, glancing at him over the rims of his glasses.

Suguru scowled, but then quickly laughed. “You know as well as I do that no one comes as close to your skill as me.”

He hated how right he was.

“If I’m understanding what you’re insinuating, as I’ve said earlier, you have the answers to your questions. I’d suggest you go now before I do what I should’ve done ten years ago.”

“I only want to save him.”

Satoru’s eyes widened. He’d fully be ready to hear that Suguru wanted Yuuta in order for him to be able to absorb Rika. Not this.

“The sorcerer’s world is a curse in of itself, bound to always serve those who can’t serve themselves. It’s draining, Satoru, and we’ve both seen what that does to people. Let me save him from a future that you know all too well.”

Defection. Murder. Betrayal. Satoru knew damn well what he was on about.

“You don’t know the kid. I do. He’ll turn out just fine. He has a good heart,” Satoru retorted.

“Are you suggesting I don’t?” Suguru questioned, the light above him trilling and flickering.

Satoru felt his stomach drop to his ankles. He knew Suguru’s heart enough to know that it was, deep down, good. He just didn’t understand how he could do this, how he could go to such extremes. He could still recall the Suguru he once knew, the one who brought him back chocolate from everywhere he went, the one who defended him up and down in meetings with teachers, the one who frequently had brought him down from the panic of startling nightmares. He knew that Suguru had to be around somewhere, even if he did feel long gone.

“You know how deeply your heart resonates with me. Don’t act like you’re clueless.”

Suguru offered a half-hearted shrug. “You do know me better than anyone.”

Satoru felt like he’d been sucker punched in the gut. He couldn’t stop himself before the words fell out of his mouth in a soft, broken whisper. “Then why did you leave me?”

Suguru’s demeanor seemed to shift. Like a fog had lifted. His eyes softened. “I don’t think you’ll ever understand my reasoning. And I don’t expect you to.”

“You’re right, I don’t think I ever will!” Satoru exclaimed, harshly pointing his finger at Suguru. “Do you know what it felt like to be in my position? Scared? In disbelief? Most of all, heartbroken? For fuck’s sake, Suguru, I can’t look at the students I teach without thinking of how similar they are to us!”

“I know I hurt you-“ he took a step forward.

“-Hurt isn’t a word strong enough to describe it and you know that.”

“Satoru, I know,” Suguru said sternly. “That doesn’t change my drive. That doesn’t change what I have set out to do; my mind is made up!”

“Clearly! Your family is a testimony to that.”

“Please, I just want you to know how much it hurt me to leave,” Suguru began to almost plead, as if Satoru’s characterization of his sanity made him crave for his past love to see him in the light he used to. “I loved you, Satoru, you know that.”

Satoru could only scoff. “Hard telling, it was pretty easy for you to leave-“

Suddenly, he had to stop. His audience wasn’t listening anymore. In fact, his audience had his face in his hands. He felt the calloused fingertips of Suguru holding the side of his face, brushing a strand of hair away from his eyes. “Sug- Geto,” Satoru breathed, his face going aflame.

“Don’t,” Suguru replied, “don’t call me that, now.”

Satoru hated to admit how lovely his touch felt and how his skin almost welcomed his hand home. He hated how tears welled in his eyes, blinking them away instantaneously. He hated that Suguru read him like a book and knew that his dedication never wavered. He hated that he let him take his glasses off. He hated that the space between them grew thinner.

He could only hate for so long because that quickly turned into an ache to return to his love.

Suguru pressed his lips to Satoru’s, gently at first, until the two quickly became familiar with the sensation and the want intensified. Satoru reached up to grab Suguru’s hair, threading his fingers onto the back of his scalp, just as he always used to during their not-so-hidden encounters. He felt his head grow fuzzier than it had previously been, as if he had never felt a high like this. With Suguru, he could forget. This had always been the case.

He felt his hip bump backwards against the trunk of his car and Suguru put a hand on the small of his back. This was comfort, this was home. This was what had driven Satoru to years of solitude. Nothing could top this sensation. Nothing could top the love he had for Suguru, his one and only. They weren’t the strongest when they were together, they were just as they were. He could forget when he was with-

-Except, no, he couldn’t really forget.

Suddenly very sober, Satoru pushed Suguru away, both hands flat against his chest. The shock was evident in the man’s eyes, but Satoru quickly broke the silence.

“Get the fuck out of here, Suguru. You said it earlier: you chose this. I can’t stand idly by. Stay the hell away from my students and I won’t find a reason to seek you out,” Satoru spat, watching Suguru stagger backwards.

Suguru’s lips parted, but he quickly snapped them shut and smiled in a way that almost made Satoru rethink his mercy. “It’s Yuuta Okkotsu, yes?”

“What-“

“I heard you and Ieiri earlier. You really are a loudmouth, Satoru. Always have been.”

“After everything-“

Confident his lover wouldn’t lay a finger on him, Suguru spun around and began to leave, hands shoved into his pockets just as they had been earlier. “Give Ieiri my best, won’t you?”

Satoru couldn’t say a word. Just as he had ten years ago, he stretched out his arm, positioning his thumb over his bent middle finger. His head screamed to release it, watch the purple beam fly from his fingertips, but of course, he just couldn’t. His throat welling, he lowered his arm, and watched as Suguru disappeared from his line of sight.

He stooped to the ground and swept up his glasses, repositioning them on his nose. It was almost like that moment never happened. Almost.

“I only want to save him.”

Satoru wished he could’ve.

[gojosprisonrealm]

I need more 2006 stsg content

If chaos is personified, it’s them.

[gojosprisonrealm]

rip Bunny Corcoran, you would have loved chatgpt

[gojosprisonrealm]

betting on you- pitfighter!vi x f!reader

happy pride!- lizzy <3

You weaved your way through the crowd, plucking slips of paper from haywire fists waving around in the air. They were accompanied by your clientele— screaming, drunk hoards of people, dilated pupils fixated on the fight in the pit below you. You remained grateful for the bandana tied around the lower half of your face. These people were sweaty and the smell was foul. If it was this bad with the protective cloth over your nose, you couldn’t imagine how bad it was without it.

The slips you’d just finished collecting were for the upcoming fight, the last one of the night. They contained the wagers people placed for bet on one of the fighters. You sat at the commentators desk and flipped through the last wave of bets. There were quite a few for a guy named Boar. You snorted upon reading the name. This guy had to be crazy to be receiving the vast majority of the bets.

The slim amount left went to his opposition, a fighter called Vi. Even then, people weren’t betting much on this person; they probably lost a bet that forced them to bet on Boar’s opposition. If this weren’t your job, surrounded by sickening violence, you’d feel bad for whoever Vi was. Instead, you tucked the slips of paper into the drawer beneath you and watched the current round end.

Workers flooded into the pit to drag out the losing fighter and escort out the winner. This was your least favorite part. Now, the commentator would stand and announce the new contestants, and high-beamed light would fixate on him at the table you sat at. It was far too bright, especially in contrast to the typical dim lighting during matches.

He began his spiel and you observed the fighters entering the arena. Boar was exactly how you’d imagined: burly, tall, thick, and scarred. He also had prosthetic limbs. There was nothing in the rulebook against that. You used to hate when people would show up with metal limbs; it made for a gruesome show. But now, you were too numb to it to care.

You felt sorry watching his opponent enter the pit. The person was absolutely jacked. Her chest was bound with muted cloth as well as her knuckles. She wore baggy pants and her hair was a deep black that seemed to seep down onto her face like eye-black. You just couldn’t tear your eyes away from her, but especially from her roots; a bright pink stuck out.

Well, it seemed the odds were stacked against this mysterious Vi person. You could only hope she didn’t die. Security wasn’t strict about homicide and you doubted janitorial would be happy about cleaning stains from the pit. However, it turned out you had nothing to be worried about.

The bell chimed to signal the final round’s commencement. Vi seemed to taunt the bionic man, and pissed off from her confidence, he stormed toward her, metal fist coiling back for momentum to strike. He didn’t get a chance to as Vi sidestepped and hit the guy with the meanest uppercut you thought you’d ever seen. Spit flew all over the walls of the pit as Boar fell to his back, sliding through the dirt. The referee began to count how long he was down, but Boar waved him to stop.

He stood up. Vi only smirked.

The onslaught of hits only continued from Vi to poor Boar’s face and gut. The only time he even managed to touch her was towards the end, when one of his pointed metal fingers clawed at her face. She only ignored it and dished out the final blow, this time knocking him off his feet and straight onto his head. Boar groaned beneath the roar of the crowd and the trilling of the final bell.

Vi pumped her fists above her head, celebrating right alongside the crowd. You were shocked more people weren’t booing considering over seventy-five percent of them just lost their bets. The commentator delivered a closing announcement to vacate the arena and you were met with a short line of people at payout for their bets. You handed out cash to over three dozen people before you were met with the end of the line.

“Ticket number, please,” You said monotonously, head in the cash drawer.

“Does a winner’s ticket count?”

You looked up to see the inky black hair and taped torso of the mystery person from the pit. “Uhm, yes, it does. Let me scrounge up tonight’s payout.”

Winners received a solid, standardized payment so it wasn’t hard to gather it and count it. You reached out to place the wad of cash in her palm and a drop of blood landed on the money. Vi took it and wiped at the gash on her face with the back of her bound hand. You cringed and visibly grimaced. “Have the medics not visited you yet?” You asked, closing and locking the cashbox.

Vi pocketed the money. “No. Don’t worry about it.”

“Uh, hold on,” You stood, your metal chair scraping against concrete as you stopped Vi from leaving. She turned back to look at you. You cleared your throat. “Let me help you.”

“Don’t, seriously. I’m good,” Vi insisted.

“No, that’s disgusting and is 100% on its way to being infected. It’ll keep me up at night if I don’t see to that being cleaned.”

Vi snorted. “Fine. Lead the way, Cashbox.”

You forced down a blush and showed Vi to the restroom. The fluorescent lights were dim and flickered madly. It didn’t faze either of you, however, having grown up in the Undercity, where, more often than not, electricity was unstable. You led her to the sinks and let the cold tap run, gathering paper towels into your fist. You let a wad of them soak up the ice water and ignored Vi’s gaze that you noticed from the mirror.

You took a breath and turned around. “Well, c’mere,” You told her.

You leaned up against the sink’s basin and Vi inched ever so slightly closer, making it easier for you to get up close to the cut. You dabbed it softly with the towel, cleansing the dirt away from the wound. Vi’s eyes watered, but she didn’t make a sound. “You know my name. I don’t know yours,” Vi said instead of any indication of pain.

“Y/n.”

“Well, hey, y/n,” Vi said softly.

You swallowed thickly and discarded your wad of towels into the garbage beside you. You then turned around and got a new bunch, drenching it in water. You turned back around and prayed Vi didn’t see the crimson blush on your cheeks.

She did.

You went back to work, this time prodding deeper into the wound. Ink on her face caught your eye and you paused. It was covered with the eye-black, or hair dye, you noticed earlier. “What’s your tattoo?”

“Just my name.”

“Oh. Any significance?”

Out of curiosity and forgoing the fact that you were strangers, you reached up to brush the black off of her face, revealed the clear-cut ink that spelled out “VI”. “None other than the fact that the man who raised me called me that.”

Your eyes met and at the sight of Vi’s light pink blush dusting her cheeks, you realized you were a bit too close. “Was he at the fight tonight? I think he’d be proud. You were very impressive,” You commented, trying to divert attention away from that awkward interaction.

Her eyes fell. “I don’t think he would be.”

You didn’t push any further and certainly didn’t ask any questions. “Well, you emptied a lot of people’s pockets tonight.”

“Damn right.”

You held eye contact for a moment. Something felt different about this fighter. Something felt different about this interaction. You needed to wrap this up instead of embarrassing yourself any further. But instead, part of you was curious to know if the strange tension in between the two of you could morph into something.

“I’m sure every guy in the stands was going crazy over you,” You teased, hiding undertones of your test of the waters, as you continued to finish up cleaning the wound.

Vi rolled her eyes. “I hope not. Never had an eye for them.”

It was no shock to hear Vi was gay, but you were glad you checked. You repressed your grin, but Vi could feel the satisfaction of success radiating from you. She’d given you the answer you wanted to hear. She’d have to act on that.

You ignored the way your stomach was doing flips and tossed the towel wad into the trash. You opened the mirror up and pulled out a few balls of cotton and some medical tape to close up the cut. Vi let you gingerly apply the tape, sliding the cotton balls underneath and sealing them to her face. “There. Should be healed up soon.”

“Good,” Vi placed her hands on her hips. “Now, how ever can I thank you?”

You held your breath for a fleeting second. Was she implying what you thought she was implying?

“I have a few ideas, but however you see fit,” You flirted with a hoarse voice.

Vi’s eyes seemed fixated on you, as if you were the only thing in her vision. As if the bloodlust she’d exhibited in the pit had changed into a different kind. She shook it off. “Let me buy you a drink,” she pulled the wad of cash that you had given her earlier from her pocket. “I’ve recently obtained more than enough to cover rent, so it’s no problem.”

You sported a smirk. “Sounds like a plan.”

——

Vi led you by the hand into the dimly lit bar. Green hues covered the space, casting chartreuse shadows onto the ground. You stumbled along behind her, narrowly avoiding the congregated people and feeling the pulse of the music’s bass through your limbs.

“Ever been here?” Vi called behind her, sparing a short glance as she guided you to the bar top.

“No,” you responded. You didn’t mind going out every once in a while, it was just a matter of being off work and having the available friend to go with. “You?”

“Yeah, this is my favorite. Ol’ reliable,” she answered, squeezing the two of you between bodies gathered at the barstools. “Finn!” Vi waved excitedly over the sleek granite. You took note at how her personality seemed to contradict her cold demeanor. You wondered if it was a front.

One of the three bartenders behind the counter spun around at mention of his name. After registering who the caller was, he grinned. “Violet!” He made his way over to the two of you, a towel slung over his shoulder.

“Can’t believe you left the house looking like that,” Vi joked, leaning against the bar on her bound torso.

“Mm, you’re one to talk. You look like you punch holes in your bedroom wall when you’re angry,” Finn replied, and you couldn’t help but to cover your mouth and giggle. “Sorry to embarrass you like this on a date, Vi, but if you’re gonna dish it out, you also have to take it.”

Vi? Embarrassed? That’s when you noticed her flushed face and red ears hidden behind a grimace. “Y’know what? Fuck you, Finn.”

Finn busted out laughing. “Alright, alright. What can I get you to drink?”

Vi gave a slight smile and ordered a Vodka tonic. She looked back at you and you told Finn your normal drink order. “Good choice,” Vi told you, bumping shoulders.

“Be right back,” Finn stated, wandering off to craft your drinks and take more orders.

A silence fell between you two. You couldn’t recall the last time you were on a date. You were rusty and desperately did not want to fuck things up when they just started. “So…” you began. “You obliterated that freak in the pit tonight.”

“It’s easier than you think. Guys like that amp up their looks to compensate for a lack of strength. And possibly for dick size.”

You snorted and grasped at your stomach as you laughed. Vi watched, feeling a wick start to burn inside her that she thought to be permanently snuffed. “If that’s the case, that guy was packing a whole lot of nothing.

“You’re funny.”

The statement came across blank, but her face told you more than her words did. She was having fun.

“I try.”

“Have you always worked at the pit?” Vi asked, propping her head up on her hand, elbow planted on the countertop.

“Mhm. Full time,” you responded, leaning your back against the edge of the bar.

“Why have I never seen you before?”

“I don’t normally work weekends. Usually just Monday through Friday. I know I’d probably make more because they’re the packed days, but I try to see my siblings on the weekends.”

“Hm,” Vi hummed. “Turns out I’ve been doing myself a disservice by going on the busier days.”

Your cheeks felt hot, her gaze falling squarely on you. “Maybe you should come by more often on the slower days. I could… buy us dinner.”

Your date smiled at the ground. “Keep cooking up ideas; I like the sound of that one.”

Someone cleared their throat behind you. It was Finn, your drinks in his respective fists. “Smooth, Vi.”

“Shut up, shithead!” Vi hissed between clenched teeth, reaching over the counter to punch his shoulder. He gave her a shit-eating grin before striding away, cradling his shoulder with his other hand.

——

About two hours later, with a fuzzy head and lightweight limbs, you found yourself in a booth with Vi. Both shitfaced, you were giggling about something you couldn’t even remember. Vi was sprawled out about the cushions, and you sat with your legs dangling over one of her knees.

“You said you work the weekdays, yeah?” Vi asked between breaths, coming down from her giggling.

You wiped your eyes. “Mhm.”

“Tell me a weekday horror story from the pit,” the girl asked grabbing her fourth glass of tonic.

You pondered for a second. “Okay, okay. So, employees aren’t supposed to place bets on fighters, right? It’s a ‘conflict of interests’,” you used air quotes, which made Vi giggle. It definitely was a conflict of interests, but your irritation with that rule made for a funny interaction.

“Anyways, one time, when I was down on my luck, completely flying by the seat of my pants, empty-pocketed, penniless-“

“-I get it, you were broke,” Vi chuckled.

“Yeah, sorry, anyways, I placed a bet. It was on a guy kind of like the one you fought today. I lost and I lost bad. So, I kind of had to, um, how to put this…”

“Y/n, you didn’t,” Vi said in disbelief, holding back a loud ass cackle.

“I did. I had to ‘move some money around’,” you used air quotes again and Vi let out the laugh she’d been repressing. “Long story short, I got caught, put on probation, and moved to janitorial for a short time. You might have a feeling of where this is going.”

Vi ran a hand through her hair. “God, I hope I don’t.”

“Some desperate guy entered a fight and pissed his pants. Guess who had to clean it.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Vi gagged. “I’d lose my mind.”

You giggled. “It gets worse. He, for whatever reason, re-entered the next night. Guess what happened that night.”

“Did he shit himself?”

You barked out a laugh. “No! But that would’ve been funny. He puked everywhere, Vi. I went to go clean it up between matches and I ended up vomiting at the smell of it. In front of an arena full of people.”

“Y/n!” Vi cried out as she cackled again.

“I mean, at least it can’t get any worse than that for me!” You said between breaths, lightly smacking her arm as you laughed.

Vi gave you a lopsided smile. You came down from your laughing fit and locked eyes. “Y/n… you’re a breath of fresh air.”

You sipped your drink, unable to respond without saying something stupid.

“I mean it. I haven’t had this much fun, let alone smiled, in months. I know it’s kind of weird for a fighter and a bet collector to see each other, but I’d love to go out again. Maybe tomorrow.”

You stared at her, again, unable to speak.

“If that’s not something you’d like, please, just forget about it,” Vi prefaced, waving around her hands.

You blinked a few times before grabbing her face and crushing your lips to hers. Vi’s eyes widened before she gave, putting down her glass and grabbing your waist with her strong, bandaged hands. Her mouth tasted like Vodka and she smelled like smoky amber ale. The taste and scent of her were intoxicating and you hoped the moment wouldn’t end.

After a minute, you two separated. Breathlessly, you told her, “I’d risk my livelihood just to bet on you.”

[gojosprisonrealm]

i hope i don’t do this lol

When y/n gets too annoying to the point you want to stop reading

[gojosprisonrealm]

​when you’re mad and he send you this as an apology because Satoru knew you love cats and Megumi

Oh, I’m too soft for this 🥺

@nagseo524

[gojosprisonrealm]

[gojosprisonrealm]

you should really quit that- aki hayakawa x gn!reader

my request from a lovey individual who would like to remain anonymous: hello! i hope you have a great day! may i ask for something aki hayakawa x reader? preferably fluff, they are together for some time, maybe rest hayakawa family? something sweet, lovely and domestic? thank you <3

---

“You should really quit that, you know,” Denji commented as Aki fiddled with his lighter. “Smoking kills.”

“Who the fuck are you to tell me what to do?” Aki spat from a stiff mouth, finally lighting the end of the cigarette between his teeth. He pocketed his lighter and pulled it from his lips, blowing a puff of smoke. “You defy death daily.”

“At least I’m doing it on my own account,” Denji muttered. You kicked his calf, his knee buckling as you continued down the sidewalk. “Y/n! You bitch.”

Aki smirked, his now free lighting hand intertwining with yours. 

“How dare you call y/n a bitch!” Power cried, as per usual, taking things a little too seriously. “Remind me, fool, who is the one with a katana on their back?”

You ignored the weight of the blade slung over your shoulders, one that you would have to clean once you made it back to Aki’s apartment. It was probably covered in blood. You were surprised Power hadn’t claimed the excess yet.

“Remind me, who’s the one with fucking chainsaws for hands?” Denji snapped back. “Also, bitch.”

Power grunted and slugged him on the shoulder. He didn’t even flinch, just happy that he managed to call her that in retaliation without being killed. 

“Knock it off, or I’m making smaller portions for your dinners,” Aki replied monotonously.

Some brief silence followed. Food was always a good bargaining method with those two. During the lovely quiet, you admired the pinks and oranges of the sunset painting the city. For once, you felt serene, your hand holding your boyfriend’s, your friends engaging in friendly banter- friendly by their terms, you supposed. 

“You know, you really should cut off the smoking. Denji had a point,” you brought the topic back up as you watched tufts of smoke clear behind you.

“Y/n, please don’t lecture me right now.”

Denji and Power let out small ooo’s as you rolled your eyes. The former loosened his tie and made a hissing sound. “Hayakawa, want me to kick their knees in?”

“What did I say about dinner?” Aki threatened again, sticking the cigarette in his mouth.

“Christ, man, I’ll never speak again.”

You looked up at your boyfriend beside you. He was already peering down at you. Holding eye contact, you muttered, “I would hate to lose you someday. Especially to some small habit you wouldn’t drop.”

He managed to hold that glance for a moment before he sighed and plucked the cigarette from his mouth. “Love, you know I will die far before a cigarette gets to me. We both know what deals I’ve made.”

Power laughed out loud.

You scoffed and bumped shoulders with him. “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“How else could you have meant it?” The boy to your right asked, balancing on the curb beside the sidewalk.

Aki smacked him on the back of the head.

— 

“Salmon and rice… Again?” Power asked as Aki set a plate down in front of her. “We’ve had this the last three days.”

“Power!” Denji hissed. “Don’t complain. How many times have our meal rights been threatened tonight alone?”

“Good call, Denji,” you commented as you sat cross-legged across from the two. 

Aki sighed and sat beside you, breaking apart a pair of chopsticks and cleaning up the wood chips. “Just eat.”

Grabbing the soy sauce sat on the table, you said, “Thank you for the meal, Aki.”

He offered you a half smile before leaning down to plant a chaste kiss on your cheek. His normal scent was covered by the smell of cooked fish and basil. You gave him a quick, loving scratch on his shoulder.

“Yes, yes, thank you, sir,” Power muttered, dumping heaps of chili paste onto her plate.

You cringed as you watched it pile up. “That doesn’t hurt your stomach?”

Power clicked her tongue. “Tch. As if anything could ever disrupt my tolerance for every type of pain!”

“Right,” Aki nodded before placing a combination of salmon and rice into his mouth. 

“See, y/n? He gets it,” Power nodded back, spreading the paste around her rice. 

Denji snorted as he dispersed his salmon. “Mhm. That’ll hold up really well.”

“You’re the only one not getting it,” she gestured to you across the table. 

You opened your mouth to retaliate, possibly call her stupid, and point out the obvious fact that the two guys were egging her on. Before you could, Aki subtly knocked knees with you. He threw you a side eye, basically saying don’t. 

You raised your eyebrows and turned your face back to your dinner. Not ten seconds later, you heard Denji stifling laughter. He gestured to his left, pointing out the sweat dripping down Power’s hairline.

“Feeling it?” You asked her. “Your nose is a little red.”

Power slapped a hand over her face. “I feel— I feel nothing!” She stammered.

Aki took a drawn out sip of his water. You watched as the two held eye contact for a prolonged period of time. Aki set the glass down, finally. “You need a drink?”

Power cleared her throat. She swallowed. “No.”

Your boyfriend shrugged. “Okay,” he mumbled before downing the rest of his water.

She screeched, grasping at air across the table, trying to retrieve the now empty glass from his hand. “Oh, I’m sorry. You said you didn’t want any,” Aki said monotonously.

Power scrambled to her feet, knocking her plate over in the process. “Shit!” She exclaimed as she stumbled into the kitchen. Denji doubled over in laughter as he watched her lap up water from the sink’s faucet.

Aki grinned as he scooped up more with his chopsticks. You giggled and shook your head. “You’re evil.”

— 

You shut the sliding door behind you and dragged the patio chair next to Aki’s. He flicked open his lighter while you sat down. Power and Denji were put in charge of cleanup since Aki cooked and Power made a mess after her chili paste incident. It was a nice change of pace to have a moment to yourselves. You loved Denji and Power’s company, but they could get to be a lot. Aki claimed to despise the two, but you knew better. He had a bigger heart than he let on.

“One day, this will all pay off and we’ll have a home to ourselves. I promise you, y/n,” Aki muttered, the end of his cigarette singeing just outside his lips.

“I quite like them,” you commented, adjusting to the mesh seat.

Aki rolled his eyes and placed his now free hand on your thigh after tucking his lighter away. “I don’t know how you do.”

“It’s like babysitting your cousins, but all the time. You know what I mean?” 

“No.”

You half-smiled. The silence that endured following that was comforting and tranquil. Aki’s thumb rubbed circles on your skin, just below the seam of your shorts. You watched the stars and took note of the smoke billowing out past the screen from Aki’s mouth, and the way it seemed to swirl around the moon.

“I hear Ms. Makima’s next ask is going to be… rough.”

You turned your head to face him. “What? What is it?”

Aki leaned his head back, his throat bobbing as smoke cascaded from his nose. “I don’t know yet. All she told me was to prepare Denji and Power for the worst.”

You blinked a few times. “What about you?”

He gazed at you with narrowed eyes. 

“Are you, I don’t know, anxious about it?”

Aki turned back to face the ceiling. “No.”

“Don’t lie to me.”

He closed his eyes and inhaled sharply. This silence was slightly more uncomfortable. Instead of admitting his nerves as you supposed he would, he pinched the bridge of his nose. ���I’m scared about your presence.”

“Aki, I can defend myself-“

“Y/n,” he looked at you once more. “I’ve never seen Ms. Makima take anything this seriously. You could lose your life, I could… I could lose you. I can’t lose you, y/n.”

Your eyes softened and you covered his hand on your thigh with you own. “Aki…”

“You are everything to me. All I do, I do for the vague concept of a future with you.”

You smiled sadly. “If it makes you feel any better, if something goes wrong, I’ll get out. Better yet, we’ll leave. Together. Fuck this business. Fuck orders from Ms. Makima. It’s not worth the stress. We deserve the future we’ve worked for. We deserve to live to love one another.”

Aki pulled the cigarette from his teeth. “I love you,” he said, the corners of his lips curling upward.

“And I love you,” you leaned over and planted a lingering kiss to his lips, of which he returned. He reached up to touch your face, and you took advantage of the moment to grab the cigarette from his hand and pull away back to your seat.

“Gotcha,” you smirked.

Aki let out a chuckle for the first time in days. You observed the motion and relished the sweet sound. “If there’s one good thing in this fucked world, it’s you,” he commented, staring up at the stars.

“Damn right,” you responded, inhaling a puff of smoke from the cigarette before putting it out in the ashtray between you. “And really, you should cut this out. It’s gross.”

[gojosprisonrealm]

Love is the most twisted curse of all

[gojosprisonrealm]

i miss them with every bone in my body

warm hug

[gojosprisonrealm]

now & then- chapter 16: reconvene (present)

final chapter of now & then!

somebody's mug clattered to the floor. marina couldn't tell whose it was. the cottage smelled lightly like sweet, white wine. she wasn't sure where they got it. maybe there were some stocked up by former military police.

marina swallowed thickly, tightening her grip on eren's hand. all eyes in the room were wide. every single pair. that even included levi.

"god dammit, jean, you spilled your wine on my pants!" connie whined, breaking the silence and setting his cup down. sasha let out a scream and dashed forward, her mug falling to the ground in the process. she quickly enveloped her into her arms, much to marina's surprise.

"holy shit!" sasha whispered into the embrace. "i can't believe it!"

marina felt tears well in her eyes as she squeezed the girl back. "sasha..."

"god, get off. my turn," connie pulled sasha off and hugged marina tightly. the girl felt air leave her lungs at a rapid pace.

eren's hand came between them. "relax, man, you'll kill her."

"marina," hange nodded across the kitchen. marina grinned at them and returned the gesture. jean only tilted his head up in recognition that she was even there. marina waved at him. levi stared at her from the corner of the room, not saying a word or making any friendly gesture of any sort.

mikasa approached her next, drawing her into her arms. this embrace was gentle, unlike the other two. she'd forgotten how much she'd missed her best friend. "marina, you were very missed," mikasa mumbled. "armin is the only one here with a rational brain."

"it's been too long." marina said hoarsely.

when mikasa backed away, marina's eyes found armin's. a few tears rolled down his face. she crossed over to him to embrace him quickly. "nice to have you back." he told her once they'd let go of one another.

"thanks for having faith in me."

jean clicked his tongue and took a swig of connie's wine. "i guess you forgot to mention why eren went to marley all on his own, armin." he said cynically.

"i didn't want to get everyone's hopes up." armin explained. "we weren't positive she'd be able to return."

marina smiled warmly. "i've wanted an excuse to come back for the last three years, and eren provided it." she shrugged. "well, there wasn't much choice."

armin's head whipped around to face the boy beside her. "what? what's she talking about?"

eren looked away, looking as though he were going to blow a fuse. or maybe he was just embarrassed. "i brought her here while she was unconscious."

"eren!" armin scolded, the others engaging in rushed whispers of commotion. "you said you would leave her there if she didn't want to come back!"

"i didn't have much choice," eren grumbled, crossing his arms to his chest.

the blonde boy looked at marina in perplexion. "what's he talking about?"

"um, well, it's a funny story, uh-" marina stuttered, scratching her nose.

eren huffed. "marley made her into the jaw titan against her will. i let her stay for as long as i could, but after watching her first transformation, i couldn't handle it any longer and i brought her back."

she'd never heard a room fall silent faster than that one did. frowns were plastered on everyone's face. even levi had a certain form of pity etched into his normal scowl.

armin's hand covered the nape of his neck mindlessly. he knew what being a titan against his will was like all too well, even if it did save him.

"well, uh, anyways, it's incredible to see you all again. you have no idea how badly i wanted to come back-" marina tried to avert the conversation.

jean leaned forward onto the counter. "then why did you leave?" marina's heart sank. eren scowled menacingly at him, placing a hand on her shoulder. "no! i didn't mean it to be a cynic, it was a genuine question. why didn't you just stay here originally if you wanted to be here?"

marina let a small amount of relief wash over her. "it wasn't that simple. zeke was right there with a titan and eren wouldn't let me explain myself and i felt super guilty."

eren blushed furiously as his own past rash behavior was brought up. "i was a little hurt, okay?"

marina laughed, running her hand down his arm and stopping to hold on around his bicep. "i don't blame you."

levi snorted from his spot in a corner. "did you finally cut out the games?"

the two dropped their touches on each other and their eyes widened. "w-what?"

"y'know," the captain smirked deviously. "that stupid ass game where you acted like niether of you had feelings for each other?"

levi's bluntness and lack of shame never failed to impress marina.

"god, you both make me sick." connie pretended to barf and sasha joined him. jean jabbed his finger into his open mouth to signal vomit.

"enough," hange said with a light smile. "the real question is that."

marina glanced down to where they were pointing. she'd forgotten she wore a half shirt that day. or did her shirt get torn up a bit in her training? "this?" marina asked, brushing a finger over the fading scar on her stomach.

hange nodded and eren looked away again. "it's nothing. marina was just injured in her titan training."

"something tells me that's not it," mikasa said with raised eyebrows as she took a sip of her wine.

marina sported a cheeky grin before she poked him in the arm. "i'll let eren explain that one. should be fun."

with an extremely red face, he turned to her. "seriously?"

she shrugged. "you deserve it."

they held each other's gaze in an all out staring contest for a few short seconds. eren sighed and blinked, turning his back to her. "i stabbed her."

"dude, what the fuck?" sasha questioned abruptly as everyone else burst into frantic inquiries.

"hey, hey, listen!" eren hushed everyone as he tried to defend himself. marina could only giggle in the commotion she'd caused. man, she enjoyed watching eren squirm. "i had to see if she was a titan!"

"that's one way to do it," levi shrugged.

"and you couldn't just ask her?" jean asked in unison with mikasa.

"i still had some trust issues!" eren put up his hands in surrender.

armin poured marina a cup of wine as she continued to listen to the banter between her closest friends. she thanked him silently. a sip of wine washed down her throat. she winced. it was a bit more bitter than it smelled. it was worth it. she already was having the most fun she had had in years after just ten minutes of being with everyone.

somewhere in the conversing, she tuned out. she watched mouths move, admiring her friends and their versatility. every single one of them could be fierce on any field of battle, but as it turned out, when handed a cup of some alcohol, they could be a blast.

hours passed and night fell. they'd moved outside around a fire, reflecting on memories and exchanging stories from times they'd missed out on with each other. jean sat with connie and sasha, eren with mikasa and armin, and marina with hange and levi.

everyone was multiple drinks in, all except for levi. even eren indulged in some, which marina found shocking considering his more serious stance as he got older. marina even surprised herself. normally, she never drank unless it were a special dinner in the braun household. for some reason, she was relaxed enough to let herself become a little under the influence. enough so that her nerves around the commander and captain melted away.

maybe she was a teensy bit drunk. but everyone was, so she thought it was fine. she'd learned a few things about everyone's influenced states: she and jean were happy, giggly drunks. connie was a dizzy drunk. sasha was a loud drunk. armin was a frequent piss drunk. mikasa was a tired drunk. lastly, eren and hange didn't seem to be effected. they were just a bit looser than normal.

"so, marina," connie began in slurred speech. "did you ever find another guy after you left paradis?"

marina giggled watching connie sway in his seat on the bench, knocking into sasha and jean a few times. they had moved him into the middle a while ago in fear he'd fall off the bench. "no," she hiccuped.

"aww, really? no fun, marina!" sasha shouted, shoving shoulders with connie.

marina stifled laughter, swigging another mouthful of wine. "hey, hey, hey... hey." she tried to get sasha's attention again. eren smiled to himself as he watched her slowly lose intelligence as the night continued. "i never said there wasn't a woman."

everyone exchanged a collective glance at her words, jaws dropping to the floor. jean's bench collectively whooped and screamed. hange shoved her shoulder and levi, armin, and mikasa all laughed at eren's stone cold sober expression filled with mortification.

"you..." jean sucked in a few breaths, doubled over with laughter. "better explain yourself."

marina barked out a laugh. "eren, i'm sorry to tell you this in front of everyone, but..." she hiccuped. "i kissed pieck on a dare from colt."

the bench full of hyenas cackled again. armin and mikasa were wiping tears as they doubled over. and levi? levi was just happy to know he'd be able to hang this over all their heads tomorrow. he would have a hayday.

"didn't you say earlier that she's the cart titan?" armin asked between heaves of air. "you're a titan kisser?"

"oh, come on, armin, i kiss eren on the daily!" marina shouted, pointing in the boy's direction with her cup.

connie choked on air as he continued to cackle. "who... who the hell is colt?"

"that doesn't count," armin countered, still giggling between words. "you're basically, like..." he burped and marina wheezed harder than she ever had before. she'd also never heard armin stammer and use like in a sentence. "like, dating."

"pffft, so every other titan counts? any other titan would make me a titan kisser?" marina asked before she took another sip.

"annie's still on the island, go kiss her!" jean exclaimed before giggling up a storm with connie and sasha again.

"guys, guys," marina slowed her laughter and stood up. she swirled the wine in her cup and took another sip. "there's another titan right here, though."

then, she crossed toward eren, whose face was a furious shade of red. he wouldn't say no to a kiss from marina, though. but then, she swerved and beelined for armin. "hey, hey, hey!" eren exclaimed, standing up. he was just going to separate them, but he accidentally pushed armin off the bench.

the blonde tumbled to the ground, his cup spilling everywhere in the grass. marina giggled and backed up slightly. "armin, you good?" eren asked, extending him a hand to get up.

armin only laughed out loud, clutching around his stomach. "i," he giggled. "i've got to fucking piss!"

marina cackled and fell backwards into the grass, laughing until she lost huge amounts of air and her ribs hurt while armin got to his feet and stumbled inside as he continued to giggle. the entirety of everyone outside laughed with them.

marina held her sides as she rolled onto her right side in the grass. she could not stop herself from laughing it seemed. eren smiled at the display. he'd never seen marina this happy before. maybe he did make the right decision in bringing her back to paradis.

he gently grabbed her cup from the grass beside her and hid it from her. when she stood up to find it, she whined and returned back to her seat beside hange and levi. those two hadn't a word to say, but loved sitting back and watching.

slowly, everyone began to shuffle inside. one by one, the benches emptied themselves until it was just levi, eren, and marina left. the captain swore at the beginning of the night that he wouldn't take a single drink and that he'd see everyone made it inside safely. even with this promise, he still wouldn't admit he liked any of them in particular.

marina yawned and eren crossed the pit to take her hand. he helped her up and kept her hand in his as they walked inside. levi put out the fire and shut the door behind them. as soon as eren took her drink about an hour ago, she'd become sleepy.

"you're cute," she drawled, poking his face. "i hope you know i was joking earlier. not about kissing pieck, that did happen. i mean about trying to kiss armin."

eren only smiled. "i know. it was funny."

"you handle your wine very well," marina pointed out as he began to lead her up the stairs.

"i know i do," he replied as he waved thanks to levi downstairs. levi nodded with a ghost of a smile painted on his lips. "it takes practice and clearly you have none."

she hiccuped and laughed sleepily. she covered his face in kisses as they walked down the hall. he didn't complain, grinning from ear to ear.

she paused when the door to her old room opened. nothing had changed, not a bit. she gasped and ran to the bed, collapsing onto the mattress with a sigh. "my old room..." she murmured into the sheets. "you remembered."

"of course i did." he shrugged, kicking his shoes off. "i was here quite a bit when we lived here." marina hummed into the mattress. or maybe she was talking but it was muffled. "what did you say, babe?" eren mumbled as he pulled her shoes off.

"you were right about everyone's reactions to seeing me again. literally right on the sphere." marina commented, her speech becoming more and more slurred.

eren stifled a laugh, trying not to be too loud. "right on the ball?"

"that."

"of course i was right. they all love you." he answered to her previous statement.

"including you?" she asked quietly, even though she obviously knew the answer.

"including me." he untucked and lifted up the blankets, shoving her under them. "you should get drunk more often. this is hilarious."

she groaned, her eyes fluttering shut. "shuh uh, ereh."

"okay, i'll shut up-" he grinned mischievously, starting to walk away.

her hand flung out of the covers and grabbed his wrist. he paused with a successful smirk on his face. "stay," she muttered.

"i planned on it." eren said gently, climbing into the bed beside her. he wasted no time to wrap his arms around her waist and pull her to his chest. she wriggled into his frame, his warmth enveloping her. she could sleep forever there.

"i thnk i'll juss stay here forever, if thah's okay wih you." she tried to say.

"where, in bed?" he egged her on, enjoying the drunk talk.

"no. in paradis." marina yawned. "i'll figh wih you. i like ih here."

eren closed his eyes. even though she was drunk, he'd take that as being forgiven. maybe not forgotten, but forgiven.

her mind felt fuzzy, but one thing was clear to her.

"i love you." she whispered to him, slipping out of consciousness. "i love you a lot."

his laughter reverberated through her body. "i love you a lot, too."

[gojosprisonrealm]

now & then- chapter 15: separate (flashback)

marina knocked lightly on eren's door. she shifted her weight nervously outside it. the air in the house was tense. even the aura, which was normally a little negative was more eerie than normal. there was reason, of course. today was the day they'd take back shiganshina. it was marina's shot to atone for the breaching five years ago.

"who is it?" eren asked more monotonously than usual from his room. "i swear to god, hange, if it's you and you weren't joking about one last experiment before we leave-"

"-it's me, eren." marina found it within herself to smile, even if he couldn't see it.

the door opened within five seconds of her response and he pulled her in. the door clicked shut behind them and he pulled her to his chest. he held her close to him, clinging to her desperately. marina's eyes widened. what brought this on? she wasted no time to wrap her around around his torso and press herself against his chest.

"are you nervous?" she mumbled, rubbing down his back and scratching it lightly when her hands traveled back up. "and don't lie to me- you'd have every right to be."

eren moved a hand up from the small of her back and into her hair right on the crown of her head. "i'm not, surprisingly enough." he held her tightly as if he were, though. "but today feels off."

marina hummed in agreement, the echo in eren's chest sending a shiver up his spine along with the soft movement of her nails on his back. "none of this is fair. i'm sorry, eren."

"don't apologize to me. i'm not the only one suffering." he replied. he peeled them apart and walked away to grab the rest of his gear. he approached her again and held it out as if to ask for help clipping it on around his waist. she took it graciously and fastened the few clips. "you and i definitely don't deserve half of the hell we've been through as just a fourteen year old and a fifteen year old."

marina connected the last clip and said without thought, "two fifteen year olds."

suddenly, eren spun around, his odm gear clinking and swiveling. "you had a birthday?"

her eyebrows furrowed. "yes?"

he took her square by the shoulders. her eyes widened in shock. why was this such a big deal to him? "why didn't i know? when was it?"

marina glanced around the room, embarrassed for no apparent reason. "it was last month... eren, why are you freaking out?"

"what do you mean, why am i freaking out?" eren exclaimed. "you're one of the most important people in my life and i had no idea it was your birthday! why didn't you tell anyone?!"

she brushed his hands off of her. "because my birthday is no big deal in the grand scheme of things. we were busy."

"no big deal?" he said, quieter now. "marina, don't downplay that. your birthday is important. you're in the scouts and you lived to see another year? that's something to celebrate."

she kept her smile down. the real reason she didn't tell anyone it was her birthday was because she didn't feel like she deserved to be celebrated. "i appreciate your concern, eren, but i'm truly not bothered."

"you may not think it's important, but i think it is." eren stated, approaching her again after backing away earlier in stress. both of his hands found her face, his palms cupping her cheeks and his fingers finding the hair behind her ears. "happy belated birthday, marina."

she felt like she could cry. or collapse. or vomit. or all three. she was nowhere near deserving of his love. "thank you, eren."

◎◎◎◎◎

marina had known since she saw the scorched brick atop the wall that reiner, bertholdt, and zeke were there. it wasn't until she was collapsed on a rooftop that everything sank in.

eren had just filled in both holes in shiganshina's walls. he had defeated bertholdt without the use of the attack titan. she felt a weird sense of pride swell in her chest. she pushed it down.

all the while, she had fought alongside the scouts, putting forth effort to defeat her brother. she could tell it caught reiner off guard to witness his little sister trying to shatter his armor. once he was down, marina immediately swung around to find eren. she found him on a rooftop and collapsed beside him. he was crouched beside armin and bertholdt was skidded across the roof.

"armin!" marina cried. she settled on the other side of the charred boy. she couldn't even recognize him. she wouldn't have known it were him hadn't eren been screaming.

eren's desperate eyes found hers. "marina," was all he could say in that moment. she couldn't tell if it was a signal of relief that she was there with him, or if it was a plead for her to do something.

and then it clicked. "levi..." she muttered. "levi has the titan syringe."

eren's train of thought matched hers quickly. "we need to get it to armin. he can eat bertholdt."

the boy stood as if he'd get a better view of the town torn to shreds. he scanned for the captain. "what about the beast and reiner?"

"we took care of my brother." marina said, swallowing the lump in her throat. reiner was done for. marina could stay. she could finally stay in her home without worry of repercussion from him. "i'm not sure about zeke."

eren paused. marina watched his back in confusion. had she done something wrong? he turned to look at her over his shoulder. his eyebrows furrowed as he observed her holding armin's unrecognizable body.

"who's zeke?"

"oh my god." she said aloud on accident, slapping a bloody hand over her mouth. after weeks of life lived with eren and the scouts, lived on the basis of a lie she had formulated where she knew nothing about the titans, she'd finally given herself away.

eren spun around to face her. it seemed he'd forgotten about levi. "you know the identity of the beast titan?"

"i- no, eren, i-"

"-you said you didn't know reiner could do that. if- if you didn't know he's the armored titan, how could you know this zeke is the beast titan?" he questioned. there was a twinge of hurt in his voice. it broke and strained.

"i didn't know, i heard bertholdt say his name-"

"-don't lie to me!" eren exclaimed suddenly.

marina flinched and froze. her fingers dug into armin's scorched skin.

"i would have heard it if bertholdt said his name!" eren told her. "you lied to me. this whole time! you were in on it. you were with reiner and bertholdt and annie. you created this hell!"

"eren, please-"

"-get your hands off of armin and don't say another word to me!" he pointed to the ground. his adam's apple shook and his eyes welled with tears while she gently lowered armin from her hold. "god dammit, marina, i loved you. i trusted you. i confided in you. fuck!" marina watched him pace, his hands grasping at his hair. "you're probably a titan. you're probably going to transform now and eat me while i don't have enough energy to transform."

"i'm not a titan. i didn't lie about that." she tried to say calmly. she wanted to be rational. she figured if she explained herself to him, about her change of heart and desire to stay in paradis, he'd understand. but maybe he wouldn't.

"so you admit it." eren finally faced her again. "you did lie."

she frowned, blinking back a wave of tears. "yes. i lied. i'm not from trost. i'm not even from paradis." his eyebrows furrowed in confusion. she supposed he didn't know what the island was called. "i've known about reiner and bertholdt and annie. i knew about the titan in the wall, i knew about the attacks on shiganshina and trost and annie's attempted capture of you. and i know why. but i have no interest in their plots, anymore. i want to fight with the scouts, with you, eren. if you would just let me stay and explain myself-"

"-get out of my sight."

marina froze, horror etched on her face. she thought he'd listen. she thought he'd understand. maybe she was foolish. "eren, please, i need help, i need to stay here-"

"-get out of my sight!" he shouted.

and suddenly, there was a crash behind her. her eyes widened as she watched eren gaze at whatever was behind her. his eyes met hers. instead of the anger she expected from him, he only seemed concerned. or regretful. but maybe she was just hopeful.

slowly, she swiveled her head around. it was pieck. she hadn't even realized the cart titan was here. atop her back was zeke who held reiner close to him. "marina," zeke called to her. "we appreciate you staying back for so long in hopes to salvage the mission, but we need to retreat. let's go."

"but bertholdt..." marina stuttered, gesturing to the boy who stood defensively in front of the colossal titan's holder.

"he's beyond help." zeke said cooly. "c'mon."

marina turned around to glance at eren. he said nothing. his eyes said it all. he was hurt. confused. maybe... hopeful? did he want her to stay?

no. he'd meant what he said. he wanted her out of his sight. so she'd give him what he wanted.

with a frown plastered on her face, she stood. she hoped he'd remember her last few words to him. maybe they'd meet again. she could wish for that to be the case.

she hooked her odm into pieck's saddle and flung up to it, landing beside zeke. reiner was a charred mess. the skin of his face was completely melted off and all of his limbs were gone. a single tear that she'd held back for five minutes now rolled down her face.

"eren..." zeke called to him. "you are a victim of our father. trust me, i know it all to well. i will return for you soon enough. i'll save you."

and with that, pieck spun around and leapt across the rooftops until they were gone- out of eren's sight, just as he'd demanded.

[gojosprisonrealm]

now & then- chapter 14: home (present)

marina buried her face further into her pillow. her mattress felt tougher than usual. she groaned sleepily and adjusted again. in frustration, she finally opened her eyes so she could see the way she was laying.

her heart stopped. that wasn't her bedroom wall.

she pulled herself up and sat on her knees. she was in a totally different room. it wasn't in her house and it wasn't the place eren was staying in marley.

oh, god! she'd lost herself in her titan last she remembered. what did she do while under its influence? what kind of havoc did she wreak? more importantly, how many lives were lost because of her?

then, marina paused. she heard the tiniest rustle somewhere in the room. her head snapped around and her eyes caught eren's in a chair in the corner of the bedroom. he was slouched, his jacket barely hanging on his frame. his hair was supposed to be pulled back, but it was falling in his face. even through that, his gaze was locked on the girl in his bed.

the room seemed extremely outdated, now that she took it all in. the floor was wooden and the bed was hard as a rock. the window was of glass panes with no curtains or blinds.

it dawned on her.

"eren..." she said with a dry mouth, her tongue suddenly having the texture of sandpaper. "where are we right now?"

only then did his eyes avert from hers. they fixated on his hands knitted together in his lap.

"eren, answer me." she demanded, tears welling in her eyes. her throat was growing tighter and she was sure he could hear her.

without looking up, he mumbled, "shiganshina."

marina never through that the one place she'd longed to be for so long could bring her to cry.

there were no words said for a long few minutes. marina simply sat staring at the mattress, her tears falling in drops onto the white sheets. eren could only watch in silence. he wanted her to let it all out. he knew this was for the best, but it wouldn't be easy.

"why?" was all she could manage to ask.

"why, what, darling?" he murmured, straightening up. he was willing to answer all her questions if that was what she desired.

she swallowed thickly. her neck had a hitch in it and her throat felt like it was submerged in water. "tell-" she choked. "tell me everything."

eren wasn't totally sure what she meant by that. he'd just have to start at the beginning. "after you left paradis, i was a wreck, marina." he told her. "so much progress was being made, but i wasn't totally present. everyone tried to console me, but so much had happened.

"armin had just been revived... erwin died... you left... and it was all in this very town. in my home. captain levi and floch tried to tell me that you wanted to kill me. that you wanted all of that to happen and had it planned with reiner the entire time."

marina didn't know who floch was, but even in her numbness of that moment, she could be irritated with him. levi was just paranoid. that's how he'd always been.

"i couldn't believe it. i found it so hard to believe that the girl i loved was a traitor. that she could betray me of all people." eren observed her closely. she didn't seem to be taking any of this well as she was still staring down in defeat. "i was about to give up on you. i was about to let it all be true. but then armin met with me in private one night."

marina's lips parted as if she wanted to speak, but couldn't. she was intrigued.

"he told me that he, mikasa, jean, connie, and sasha all thought i was right. that you could never do that unless you were forced to. we thought they were threatening you or someone you loved back in marley."

partially true.

"we took our ideology to levi. he said it was a possibility, but shot it down." he laid his left hand out, palm up. "we took it to hange. they agreed with us. but then, they shot down any plan we had to get you back home." he put his right palm up before closing both fists.

home. it brought more tears to her eyes. they knew this was her home just as well as she did. so, why was she so upset to be there?

"armin told me to drop it. in his words, he said, 'i know you love her, eren. if she loves you, she'll find her way back.' but marina, truly i thought that was stupid. i knew you loved me. you never said it, but i knew. and after thinking it all over, it made sense. all the pieces fit together. you never said it because you never wanted to be attached. you were on a mission, right?"

blankly, she nodded, not able to bring herself to make eye contact with him. she'd explain it all to him another time.

"i told armin i wanted to go rescue you. i told him i'd do it on my own if he and the others didn't want to join me. i even told him that i'd leave you in marley if you truly resisted it." eren threaded both hands into his hair as if he were reliving the frustration he had felt that long ago. "but armin said they wouldn't join me. he said they all agreed that it'd be too risky, especially with reiner, zeke, and the cart titan in the area.

"so i left on my own. you still loved me, it seemed, even after all that time." he smiled to himself. it quickly faded. "but you seemed hesitant. i was just about to leave until you told me that one night that you chose me. and then the next morning, you said you had to keep up a facade until you could figure out a route to paradis with me. i was going to let you figure out this route on your own, but after watching you as the jaw titan... knowing marley made you into a weapon against your will... i forged the route back myself."

marina finally moved. she sat down, her legs dangling over the side of the bed so she could see eren. "you brought me back here against my will. that- that doesn't make you any better than marley."

eren's expression dwindled into a twinge of hurt. "but you told me-"

"i don't care what i told you." she whispered. "i left behind my family without choice."

he swiftly and quietly crossed the room, kneeling before her and taking both her hands into his. she kept her eyes down. "it was for their own good. it was for your own good."

on a normal day, she would've grasped his hands in return. but she couldn't bring herself to. instead, she murmured, "take me to see everyone."

eren stared at her in shock for a moment. as stated earlier, he didn't expect it to go over well, but he also didn't expect her to shut down entirely. maybe seeing all her friends would do her good. they'd just have to keep her from levi until they could explain themselves. he needed marina's side of the story- he needed her to feel comfortable enough to open up to him again.

"okay." he nodded, standing up. "the next train to strohess leaves in an hour. everyone will be there."

her eyes still fixed to the ground, she nodded. the door clicked behind eren as he left her alone to change.

◎◎◎◎◎

the train was deserted besides the conductor. not a soul was aboard it besides eren and marina. the girl sat slouched, her head tilted down. eren sat right next to her. their hips were almost attached, but marina still couldn't look him in the eye.

she still wasn't entirely sure how to feel. being brought here without consent was definitely a violation. though she considered the fact that eren had good intentions at heart, she couldn't forget that. yes. she'd wanted to be here. but not without saying her goodbyes to her mother and gabi. not without explaining herself to someone who'd understand: reiner.

eren had come for her in marley under the assumption that she was still loyal to paradis. he and the others knew that before she even did. marina had returned to marley willingly, but didn't consider that she was dedicated to paradis until she was away from it.

while it wasn't the best truth for eren to tell her, it was still his truth. he opened up to her and told her. she figured she needed to do the same in return.

"i grew up watching my brother, bertholdt, and annie train." she said suddenly, keeping her head hung low. eren gently turned to look at her as she spoke. "i thought they were the coolest people in the world. i was young. i was naïve. i was wrong.

"the closer i looked, the more i paid attention to detail between the three of them, the more i realized about their true motives while becoming warriors. reiner was doing it for our father to return. bertholdt did it for his family. annie's father wanted to reap the benefits. it was all horrific and twisted.

"i thought that if reiner was doing this for the good of our family, so our father would return, that i needed to contribute, too."

she paused, pupils wide and eyes unblinking. eren brushed a strand of hair behind her ears and snaked his arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side. he knew what she was trying to retell for him. he'd let her take her time.

marina relaxed and let her head fall onto his shoulder, taking a breath before continuing. "i was ten when i left marley. i snuck onto the warriors' ship. i'm not sure how they didn't catch me- i climbed up the rope of a buoy to board. reiner didn't find me until they docked on the island. i knew if they found me before they embarked into paradis, they'd make me stay on the ship. so i waited until they'd hiked away to sneak behind them. i only revealed myself once i saw that the ship had disappeared past the horizon.

"reiner scolded me. bertholdt didn't, but he didn't defend me, either. annie threatened to feed me to titans. if it weren't for galliard..." there was a hitch in her throat. she swallowed while eren rubbed her shoulder opposite of him in an attempt to comfort. "he was the one who provided some sense to the group. he was the oldest, the wisest. he had a brother to return to. but, while we were arguing, a titan tried to eat my brother. galliard sacrificed himself for him. as it turns out, that titan was ymir. survey corps ymir."

eren hummed to himself. "that's how ymir got the jaw titan. that boy... galliard?" marina nodded in confirmation to his question. "he was the jaw titan."

"that was the first person i had a hand in killing." she said. her voice cracked and her body shook. eren tried his best to soothe her. "i stayed back with annie when reiner and bertholdt breached shiganshina eight years ago. we were hoping for the king to retaliate with the founding titan. he never did. as we would come to find out-"

"-my father had it. and that night, he passed it to- i- i ate him." eren muttered in disbelief to himself. he'd faced that fact numerous times, that he killed his father. it never really bothered him before then.

"exactly. we joined the survey corps in hopes to infiltrate the king's military. reiner, bertholdt, and annie had to wait a few years 'til i was old enough to enlist. that, too, added pounds of guilt to my chest. they wanted to go straight to the military police, but after trost, when you transformed for the first time, plans changed. annie was the only one of us to go to the military police. that way, if the founder was still with royalty, we'd have someone there. but we were sure you were the one who possessed it.

"i wanted to help reiner and the others. i wanted to prove myself to them as a warrior, not a burden who tagged along as a child. that mistake that a stupid ten year old made is the reason i've hated myself for the last eight years."

before eren could counter that, she spoke. "things changed when i met you in the cadets. i'd never felt the way i did at that camp. i felt at home. i felt like i found a family amongst everyone there. i'd never met anyone like them, anyone like you, eren. i fell in love with you faster than i'd like to admit. i wouldn't let myself, back then. you were right, earlier. i didn't want to let myself get attached in fear that i'd ruin the mission for reiner, bertholdt, and annie.

"but i found myself sabotaging their mission on purpose. i no longer saw it as a group effort, as hard as i tried. i wanted to help you all. it took me two years to see it, but none of you were devils. i tried to fit in after reiner and bertholdt left. i so desperately wanted to blend in and stay with you. guilt ate away at me every single day, knowing you guys trusted me so quickly after my brother had betrayed you. i wouldn't let myself be happy. that's why i left after reiner, bertholdt, and zeke attacked in shiganshina. not because i felt i had duty to marley. that was a lie i told myself to sleep at night. i left because i felt like i didn't deserve everyone on paradis. but it's taken me three years of hell away from you, eren, to figure that much out."

eren was speechless for a moment. he was right about a few things. marina did come with malicious intent towards him and his people. but she'd converted sides long before he thought she did. she hadn't even known she'd converted sides until she looked back upon it. she'd felt undeserving. she'd loved him for just as long, if not longer than, as he loved her.

he dropped a kiss into her hair and leaned his head on her own. "thank you for telling me this. it's good to know."

she shuddered beneath his touch. "i owe you so much more than a simple explanation."

eren held her tighter. "i've told you once, i'll tell you a hundred times- you don't owe anyone anything. you are free."

◎◎◎◎◎

the tall grass tickles marina's legs as she walked hand in hand with eren through the meadow that lead to the oh-so familiar cottage she'd lived in for weeks of her life. she felt herself melting at the sight of it in the distance. even the walk there was reminiscent.

even a few things were the same as last she was there. she was a suspected traitor by a few people. check. she was afraid of levi and hange. check. and, she was in love with eren jaeger.

the only differences compared to last time were two facts: one, all the titans had been killed. there were no more threats from stepping foot outside a wall. two, marina still had yet to totally forgive eren for borderline kidnapping her.

as angry as she was with him, she was still nervous to see a few people, so she'd keep their hands intertwined. for now.

"god, connie and sasha are going to freak out." eren muttered to himself. "no one knew i left until i did. armin probably had to explain everything to everyone."

marina truly felt blissful. the sun was slowly melting into the horizon behind the trees. the sky was painted in a mix of oranges and pinks and yellows. she felt at peace and mellow for the first time in years. how didn't she realize sooner that paradis was her home?

"how do you think everyone else will react?" marina inquired timidly. "i'm sure i can't be forgiven that easily. they'll all probably hate me or try to kick me out. maybe kill me."

"woah, nobody's going to try to kill you." eren countered quickly. "i told you, everyone basically agreed with me. everyone besides levi, but he'll be fine. even he said it was possible that you were still on our side."

"then what will they do?"

eren watched the cottage grow in the distance. "well, since i wrote to hange and told them to gather everyone here, they're all probably in a good mood after seeing eachother all together again. so i wouldn't worry too much. mikasa will be ecstatic to see you. sasha might scream. connie might try to crush you in a hug. jean will act like he doesn't care, but he will. hange will more than likely treat you like their soldier, still. levi will probably stay in a dark corner and watch you like a fucking hawk, and armin will definitely cry."

marina grinned even in her state of anxiety. "that's specific. i don't know if everyone will be that happy to see me. but we'll find out, i guess. what about that floch guy?"

eren rubbed the back of his neck. marina knew this slight movement of his as he either did something wrong, lied, or was embarrassed. "i may have told hange not to invite him. he would've made you feel uncomfortable and unwelcome. trust me, you don't want him here."

she chuckled. "maybe it's for the best, then."

"yeah." eren laughed softly. his eyes trained to their hands laced together by their hips. "marina, i truly am so sorry for bringing you here. i think it's for the best, but i probably should've let you explain yourself to your family before you just up and disappeared."

marina sighed and looked away. she still didn't know how she felt. so, she thought it best to just open her mouth and say whatever came to mind. "i'm not sure if i forgive you yet. bringing me here was very... drastic. but, i think everything will turn out okay. reiner isn't stupid. he'll figure out where i've gone. and if i told my family before we left, they'd try to stop me, or worse, feed me to another warrior in training and then you'd lose another titan to marley. bringing me here without my knowing might've been for the best, after all. it'll just take me some time to adjust."

a small, relieved smile painted eren's face. he never thought he'd understand what he did to deserve marina. he reached out with his free hand to cup her face and bring her cheek to his lips. after a quick kiss, he murmured, "i love you", into her skin.

when he pulled away, marina leaned into his side. she didn't quite comprehend how eren could be so blunt and open about how he felt. but then again, it was on brand for him to be that way. he was always a go-getter. when he wanted something, he was sure to do anything possible to get it. so having marina as his own was something he seemed to be determined to do, hence his often declarations of love for her. she adored that about him. "i love you, too."

they stopped at the front door of the cottage. they exchanged a look. eren gently took her face into his hands and kissed her slowly and sweetly. when he pulled back, her face was incredibly red and surprised. "one before we're surrounded." he said quietly and jokingly.

marina gave him an embarrassed half-smile and nodded. then, eren opened the door.

there was quite a bit of commotion inside, seeing as though everyone was gathered in the kitchen. everyone had a cup in hand and there was loud laughter. but all that stopped when the two walked in.

all eyes were on her.

she swallowed thickly and braced herself, squeezing eren's hand and waving with the other.

[gojosprisonrealm]

now & then- chapter 13: visit (flashback)

the comb running through marina's hair came to a halt as she noticed a glint of blonde hair in the reflection of the mirror she stood in front of. setting it down on the vanity, she turned around and faced her bedroom door behind her. "historia? what's up? everything okay?"

historia's eyes widened and filled with panic. "no! everything's fine! don't worry, i swear!"

"you're sure?" marina questioned. "that seemed pretty not fine to me."

"i'm positive," the blonde nodded.

doubtedly, the secret traitor picked her comb back up and faced the mirror once more. "what brings you up here, then?"

historia entered her room, carrying a smile marina wasn't quite sure how to read. "nothing in particular."

marina made room for the girl to stand beside her before the reflective glass. accordingly, historia joined her at her side. "ugh," marina groaned. "how do you do your hair so perfectly?"

historia was always a neat person. she had her methods and she always stuck to them. her hair was one of the biggest examples of this. she was very good at braiding and styling hair, especially since she needed to keep it out of her face when in combat. braiding was always the best way to make sure it never fell in her eyes.

the blonde shrugged. "i don't know."

"i mean, it's consistent." marina commented as the comb brushed her hair. "without fail, everyday, your hair looks nice and practical."

"i had plenty of practice growing up. i was raised on a farm with nothing to do and no mother figure." she told her, watching marina begin to separate strands of her hair out. "i had to teach myself to braid if i wanted to look like the pretty girls in my books."

in a focused grunt as she tried to braid her hair, marina said, "i suppose we have to make do, right? i had no father figure and the only man i was close to was reiner, so that should tell you a lot about how i turned out the way i did."

historia smiled to herself. "lack of parents will take its toll." then, she grabbed the comb and pulled marina's wrist down from her head. "here, i'll do it."

marina's lips parted slightly in surprise. historia was one of the kindest people she'd ever met. why was she shocked by her offer to help? "really?"

"well, sure. i can teach better when you can see what's going on." she replied as she crossed the room. marina thought she could cry as she dragged a chair back to the vanity. "go ahead and sit."

marina complied and watched as historia got to work. the girl gave verbal step-by-step instructions with each new part. her fingers so effortlessly flowed through her hair, weaving the strands together in a neat and beautiful display.

everything for the last few days had felt so... domestic. peaceful. she'd mended bonds with jean. she'd been angry with and respectfully stood up to hange like she would her mother or her aunt. she'd eaten meals with everyone as a whole group. she'd seen levi smile once. she'd fallen for an asshat boy who was in love with her. she'd found a sister in someone of royal descent.

she'd found a family.

everything had felt so tranquil, everything had clicked into place so much that she forgot this wasn't her home. this wasn't even a family to stay the night with when things got rough at her house. she was a visitor, and an unwelcome one at that.

historia used her teeth to pry open the last pin before completing the hairdo on marina's head. she grinned at the visitor in the mirror. "ta-da! now you know the secret to my hair."

marina couldn't not smile at the sight. her hair was braided back from the very front into a bun that sat towards the nape of her neck. it was a matching style that historia was currently sporting as well.

"thank you, historia." she lightly ran two fingers over the braid, in awe of the intricacy. "i love it."

"of course," she brushed her hands over the girl's shoulders, still looking at their reflections in the mirror. "i need to go help armin tend to some garden things, so i will see you later, 'kay?"

"okay." marina nodded. she watched the blonde's reflection disappear outside of her bedroom door.

she had really dug herself into a trench, now. she was in deep. deep enough to drown. she loved these people. she had discovered a family in an island full of supposed devils and was supposed to kill them?

hoping maybe she'd suffocate and die, marina buried her face into her hands. she groaned and leaned back in the seat. "such an idiot, rina!" she muttered to herself.

"i agree," eren's voice said from the doorway, "rina."

marina sat up faster than the speed of light. "eren!"

he simply grinned and watched as she flung herself out of her seat. her face flushed viciously. "since when did you call yourself rina?" he chuckled.

unsure of what to do with her hands, she put them behind her back. "i just- it's- my brother and my mom always called me that."

eren bit the inside of his mouth to repress his immeasurable grin. "i think it's cute."

"oh, well, uhm," marina kicked around her foot, hoping she wasn't coming across as too flustered. "feel free to call me that, if you want."

"i might just take you up on that."

things between eren and marina were a bit complicated. now that eren had confessed his love for her, she'd realized she felt the same way for him. she just didn't want to tell him in fear of attachment. but, that didn't stop her from showing her affection. this confused eren beyond belief, however, it gave him the confidence he needed to keep making moves.

it was almost as if there was an unspoken understanding that they were both interested in the other.

eren swiftly swept across the room. "your hair looks nice," he commented as he stood inches from her.

"thanks," she breathed as he reached up to run his fingers over the braid. "historia did it."

his hand fell to hers as he started interlacing their fingers. "i know. that's not your work."

marina's eyebrows furrowed. she disconnected their hands and shoved him away by the chest. he stumbled backwards, his jaw to the floor. "the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"no!" he exclaimed, suddenly taking the role of the flustered one. "that's not what i meant at all! i just-"

"christ, eren, i know i'm not good with hair but that was a low blow." she crossed her arms to her chest. marina wasn't actually upset by it, she just liked to see him squirm.

"no, please, marina, i didn't mean-"

she ended his frenzy with a laugh. "i'm just stirring the pot, eren. i know you didn't mean it like that."

relief washed over him quickly, his distressed gape turning into a soft, hesitant smile. "oh."

her confidence now restored, marina turned back to the vanity to grab her comb and tuck it into a drawer. "you're funny when you're nervous, jaeger."

eren laughed anxiously. "yeah." exhaling, he ran a hand through his hair. "what were you assigned today?"

"watching you in your experiments, again. why?" she answered, her back still to him.

"the commander gave me the day off since i told him about needing breaks at dinner the other night." he rubbed the back of his neck. after a moment of marina staring at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something, he asked, "will you go out with me today?"

her face flushed again and she paused. "out... out as in...?"

"you know what." eren looked away as a furious blush cascaded across his cheeks and nose.

"oh my god..." a mischievous smile crept up her lips. "is eren jaeger asking me on a date right now?"

he blew a strand of hair away from his face. "no, jean kirchstein is." he deadpanned.

marina giggled and strode over to where he stood near the door. she planted a chaste kiss to his cheek. "i mean, it is my job to look after you..." he frowned deeply. "yes, i'll go." eren's face lit up and he reached up to press his fingers to the place her lips were just seconds ago.

"great. cool." he tried to say nonchalantly.

"just give me two more minutes and i'll be downstairs." she grinned, pushing him to the door.

"okay." he said, his head void of thoughts as the door shut in front of him.

marina's cheeks hurt and as much as she tried, she couldn't repress her grin.

◎◎◎◎◎

"better pick up the pace if you plan on winning!" eren called over his shoulder as they raced through the meadow. marina could barely hear him over the sound of hooves galloping and wind whistling, but she registered it.

she smiled to herself. "oh, i plan on it."

truth be told, marina didn't want to beat him to the enclosure. she liked riding on horseback close behind. she liked watching his hair rustling. she liked watching him turn back occasionally to smile at her. she liked the effects the sun had on his complexion.

it didn't matter how beautiful he was, though. marina still had a competitive spirit and would win. she flicked the reins and the horse picked up.

she soared past him. the look on his face was priceless.

the grin on her face irrepressible, she slowed her horse to a canter just outside the tree line. she could hear the trot of eren's horse behind her, slowing to a stop beside her.

"i let you win." eren commented breathlessly as they both took in the sight of the huge trees in front of them. they towered above, reaching up to what looked like the sky.

marina let out a puff of air. "sure you did."

then, they continued into the forest. their horse slowly trotted through, weaving between trees and over occasional stumps. "where exactly are we going?" marina asked the boy beside her.

"you'll see."

"do you know where we're going?"

"of course i do!" he exclaimed, his head whipping to his left to see her. "who do you take me for?"

marina shrugged. "eren jaeger."

he tried to frown, but it turned into a smile before he could even try to control it. after a bit longer of riding amongst the trees, they reached a clearing.

there was a small pond in the center, tens of bushes surrounding it. birds were landed on the surface of the water, bathing and drinking. marina found herself in awe of the enclosure's beauty. eren found himself in awe of hers.

"eren..." she mumbled, still taking in her surroundings. "why did you bring me here?"

he hopped down from his horse, tying her to a tree behind them. "it's a fun outing idea i had."

"okay," marina said as she followed his lead, pulling her horse beside his. "what's the idea?"

"get this," he turned to her with excitement flooding his eyes. "we go around and see who can pick the most berries."

marina opened her mouth to speak, but words failed. was he seriously...

"you're actually bringing me out here to help you with your assignment? to pick berries for our food reserves?" her eyebrows furrowed as she rested a hand on her waist.

"okay, yes, i lied. but it was a half lie." he tried to reason frantically. "i was given the day off from experiments, but they told me that just because i wasn't transforming didn't mean i couldn't help and sent me here to get berries."

"why didn't you just tell me that?" she rolled her eyes, facing away to fasten her horse's tie-down. "i would've come help, anyhow."

"because i wanted to use my one day off to be with you, and not just to do chores." she jumped when he placed his hand on her shoulder by surprise. he spun her around gently. "i did want to take you out on a date. a real one. but you know our circumstances."

marina's grimace slowly turned upwards into a half-smirk. "eren..." she reached out to his hand. "that means a lot. i really do appreciate it. we aren't quite fortunate enough for that luxury, are we?"

"i guess not," he slid his hand over to the crook between her neck and shoulder to caress it. "it's just... you deserve so much more than a shitty errand for a first date."

"but, i don't mind running errands with you." she said, catching him off guard. he'd expected her to be a little upset when she found out. her hand cupped his cheek, her fingers brushing gently along his forehead and through his hair. "as long as i can spend any time with you, i'm happy."

eren could feel the fluttering feeling in his chest return that seemed to bubble up every time he looked at the girl in front of him. "you don't have to say it back, but..." he pulled her forehead to his lips and left a lingering kiss there. "you're pretty cool, marina. i love you."

instead of responding, she let him taste the words on her lips, colliding his with hers. as shocked as he was, he didn't recoil or show any hesitation. he reciprocated. marina lost herself. not in a self-identity way, but rather, she lost herself in him. in that moment, she wasn't a warrior of marley stranded on paradis island, she was just eldian. she was a friend of armin and mikasa and jean. she was a scout. she was eren's and eren's alone.

eren was the first to pull away. marina couldn't seem to look him in the eye. her grave that she seemed to be continuously digging was the deepest it'd ever been. but at this point, past six feet in the ground, why not keep digging? "was that enough, jaeger?" she murmured breathlessly.

"more than enough." he said lowly in reply.

"than stop with the forehead kisses and just do it for real, next time." she whispered, taunting him.

his face grew hot and he could only stare at her. after a moment of standing in each other's hold, marina cleared her throat and backed away. "wanna get those berries now, then? so we can head back for dinner?"

"oh, uh- uh, yeah." eren responded sheepishly, following her out into the clearing.

[gojosprisonrealm]

now & then- chapter 12: error (present)

stalling the hectic motion of thoughts in marina's head came as effortlessly as breathing while held in eren's arms. with his mere presence, her troubles drifted away just like the breeze that wafted into the room from the cracked window. sunlight trickled through the slit and the coo of the mourning dove chimed.

eren's hand that rested on the back of her head massaged her hair gently, keeping her face near his chest. marina stirred slightly, pressing her lips together in a straight line and shutting her eyes tighter. eren couldn't stop himself from smiling at the domestic tranquility of it all.

"good morning," he murmured to her sleepy figure. she only buried herself into him, holding him closer and letting out an exhausted groan. "oh, i'm sorry for waking you, sunshine."

"i'm not sunshine." her grumble was muffled by his skin.

he adjusted with her, staying comfortable. "as beautiful, but not quite as bright." he yelped when marina pinched the skin on his back in retaliation. "that was a compliment!" he exclaimed.

"a backhanded one." she mumbled.

"eh," he brushed it off, running his fingers through her hair. "it's okay, you love me."

without hesitation, marina murmured, "i do."

and then, her eyes snapped open. she had told him she loved him last night. last night. she spent the night with eren jaeger. fuck.

she quickly pushed herself off of him and threw the blanket off of her, scanning the room for her shoes. eren's smile faded. "what're you doing?"

"leaving." she answered flatly, slipping them onto her feet and straightening her clothes.

"what? why?" he exclaimed, sitting up in a flash.

she barely stopped herself from crawling back into bed at the sight of his tired eyes suddenly alert and his disheveled bed hair. "i should've never stayed the night here to begin with, i just fell asleep."

"it's not a crime to sleep at a friend's place."

"friend?" she questioned with a teasing smile.

he sighed, trying to force down his smile that only turned into a down-turned grin. "you know what i mean."

"it is when we're supposed to be enemies." she replied, turning back around to search for her jacket.

"we're enemies?" eren asked quietly. after all they spoke about, she still viewed him as such?

she spun back around again, her eyes full of regret. "no! no, eren. no." she threaded a hand into her hair. "i choose you. i told you this. but i still have to put up that facade."

eren nodded, repressing his smile. she chose him. she chose him! "where are you going?"

"i have my first session of training as the jaw titan today with magath and two other warriors." she responded, remembering that she didn't bring a jacket last night.

eren's eyebrows furrowed. "you can't go to that."

marina paused on her way to the door. "why not?"

"they forced you into being a titan, you can't comply with their orders." he said cynically. "you're not machine of war that answers to their beck and call."

she frowned. "what am i supposed to do? let them kill my family because of my insubordination?"

eren mirrored her expression. "i didn't mean it like that. i just..." he rubbed his face in exasperation. "it pisses me off to see you miserable because of something forced upon you."

marina looked to the floor. "until i find a route to paradis with you, i need to keep doing what they ask of me. i need to stay alive."

with a sigh, eren stood up. "then i'm coming, too."

"i'm sorry?" marina laughed sarcastically. "you're joking." he kept his face straight. her expression darkened. "no."

eren pointed to the ground. "there is no way in hell i'm not going to be there for you."

"you're an enemy of the state!" marina exclaimed. was she the only sane one in the room? was this fact not obvious to him?

"marina, this is going to be your first time controlling a titan," he attempted to persuade her. "i'll be there."

"absolutely not, eren. you're fucking insane. you're already inside enemy territory and you're considering showing up to a controlled space where two marley titans will be present?" she crossed her arms to her chest and shot him a look that screamed the words, you are stupid.

"you think i'm afraid of your brother? no." he pinched the bridge of his nose. "remember what happened to me one of the first times i transformed? you had to stab me."

"there will be other people there who are trying to help me-"

"-who ruined your life!" eren shouted.

marina went quiet. the air was tense and still. if she didn't love this man, she would've punched him in the mouth by now.

"marina, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to yell." he said in a low tone of voice. "but i care about you too much to let you go through what i went through alone."

"i don't give a shit. you're not coming."

with an exasperated sigh, eren grabbed a shirt from his nightstand and said, "either way, i'm going. so it's better for you to help me find a hiding spot than to let me wander in blindly."

marina glared at him. he held her gaze.

"god, you never change." she finally let up, opening the bedroom door. "let's go. stay hidden."

◎◎◎◎◎

marina glanced at the small clock atop the entrance to the facility she would be training in. "good. we're on time." she said aloud to no one in particular.

eren took her hand in his, pulling his hood down over his face as he did so. he wore a giant black cloak in order to cover the odm gear hooked around his waist. "you know the signal, right?"

she nodded. "i don't think i'll have to use it."

"i have faith in you," eren assured her, moving a strand of hair away from her eyes. "this is purely precautionary."

"i know," she whispered.

"don't hesitate to use the signal." he murmured before capturing her lips with his for a brief departure kiss. "you know where i'll be."

marina's hand fell to her side as she watched him leave. she hoped the red dusting her cheeks wasn't too prominent. would she ever become accustomed to his affection? no. it would always catch her by surprise. a pleasent surprise.

she pressed the back of her hand to both sides of her face in an attempt to cool down. she regained composure and headed inside.

immediately, she could feel the accusatory gazes bearing into her skin. she swallowed thickly, reminding herself that they knew nothing. they suspected nothing. in their minds, eren was still on the island, planning for a supposed strike.

"nice of you to show your face." reiner said cynically as she joined him, pieck, and magath near the back door of the warehouse. "where the hell have you been?"

"were you just worried sick about your baby sister?" she teased, sticking out her bottom lip in a fake pout.

reiner's eyes darkened in irritation. "no. mother and gabi were."

her heart sank. she forgot about gabi.

"well, for your information, i was at pieck's." she turned to the girl who wore a confused, scrunched face. "right, pieck?" she hinted suggestively.

pieck's eyes widened, her lips parting slightly as if it had suddenly dawned on her. "yeah! yeah, reiner, i was kidding with you earlier when i said i didn't know where she was. she stayed the night at my place last night. i asked her to."

reiner's eyebrow quirked suspiciously. his gaze darted between the two girls. "okay."

"alright, everyone's here!" magath exclaimed before approaching the back door. "this is a brand new facility created for training warriors since we will have a new wave of them soon. now, marina, what we'll do is have the three of you transform. there will be people shooting rubber bullets at you from all sorts of different elevations. today's goal is just to work on mechanics."

"excuse me, commander, but why are pieck and reiner going to be transformed with me?" marina inquired, gently rubbing the skin between her thumb and index finger where she would soon have to bite.

"once you deal with everyone shooting at you, i'll probably have you spar with one of them." he shrugged. "depends on how you perform beforehand."

there was a whooshing sound in her ears as her heartbeat picked up. fight a titan shifter who's been doing this for nearly ten years? oh fuck no.

but what choice did she have?

as magath opened the door and began to lead them into the field, pieck joined marina closely at her side, reiner a few feet in front of them. "now where were you really last night? reiner was actually worried about you."

marina bit her lip. she'd always liked pieck, but as she told him before, marina would pick eren everytime. instead of responding, she just shrugged.

"was there a guy?" pieck asked almost inaudibly, elbowing her bicep. marina gaped at the girl beside her, her expression probably giving away everything pieck wanted to know. "or a girl! i don't judge."

marina huffed and shoved pieck away, who was now giggling up a storm. "yes, pieck. there was a guy."

"a what?" reiner said between chlenched teeth, spinning around and causing the girls to freeze in their tracks.

"alright!" magath clapped his hands together. the three warriors paused their conversation and took in their surroundings. damn. all of this was fake? there were a multitude of buildings scattered around the area. there were paved roads and traffic signals and spiraling towers from churches and government buildings. and on top of that, everything was enclosed by a chain fence.

marina knew eren resided outside the fence somewhere to her right, but didn't so much as glance in that direction in the irrational fear that someone would catch on.

when she refocused and looked at the others, they were staring right back at her. reiner and pieck's hands both hovered near their mouths like they were waiting. "oh, um, now?" marina asked, pointing to her hand.

"if not now, when?" magath laughed in confusion, taken aback slightly by how spacey she was.

"okay." she mumbled, bringing her hand to her face. her mind raced and doubts swam through her head. god, she hoped she didn't screw up and embarrass herself in front of eren. then again, she knew eren was probably more nervous than she was. for his sake, she wouldn't fail.

impulsively, she sunk her teeth into her hand and tore her own skin. the taste of copper flooded her mouth as blood poured from the gash. before she knew it, there were three cracks of thunder and bolts of yellow-hued lightning. she felt her limbs being restrained and pulled by something wrapping around them. she hissed as hot muscles attached themselves to her face and she was lifted up, up, up...

and suddenly, she could see again. she was taller. way taller. she looked down. she was bent down, her clawed hands gripping the ground.

marina groaned internally. she'd forgotten how weird-looking her titan was. it was known for the strength of its jaw, but also for its incredible speed. that was all thanks to how it maneuvered using all four limbs.

"marina!" she heard magath call from somewhere beneath her. she scanned the area, but failed to find him. all she found were the armored and cart titans to her left and right. "marina, they're going to open fire in three... two... one..."

and suddenly, bullets were piercing her skin. even though she was a separate conscious from her titan, she could feel every single one. panic coursed through her and her arms and legs began to move on their own.

her vision went out. soon enough, she couldn't feel a thing.

she had passed out.

reiner and pieck watched in horror as the jaw titan went haywire, scampering around the field, wiping people out and destroying buildings left and right. anxiously, they stayed still, waiting for magath's call.

he never ordered them to move.

eventually, pieck had enough. she bolted towards the jaw titan, climbing to a nearby rooftop. the jaw titan let out a rippling roar as the cart titan crushed rooftops running towards it. pieck leapt to bite the titan, but it swerved. in a fatal swoop, the jaw titan scooped the cart titan into its mouth by the torso and crunched its spine. the cart titan let out a strangled cry of pain.

and then, the jaw titan was hurdled backwards by an armored fist. the armored titan watched as jaw was flung into the warehouse that they had walked into as civilized people earlier. steam rose from the cart titan while pieck crawled out and into the armored titan's hand just as smoke rose from the crushed building marina's titan was lying unconsciously on top of.

gingerly, the armored titan set pieck onto the ground and approached the warehouse. it waved away smoke in its field of vision and knelt beside the titan it had just knocked down. it stooped its head down to the nape to tear through the skin with its teeth and retrieve marina, but it stopped.

the skin was already torn through. there were slash marks and a small, round puncture wound beside the gash. reiner gaped from within the titan.

marina was gone and he'd know those marks anywhere.

it was odm gear.

[gojosprisonrealm]

now & then- chapter 11: experiment (flashback)

the exterior of the bread in her hand crunched between her teeth. marina almost sighed into her food as she chewed, grabbing another piece of bread to take upstairs with her. she didn't know what would follow the rest of the day, but she would still go get ready.

when she spun around to leave, the section commander stood by the dining table. they smirked at the sight of marina smuggling bread. "hungry?"

marina laughed nervously, pulling the piece from her mouth. "a bit."

"did you not eat after your trial yesterday?" hange asked, leaning against the wall beside them.

with a pitiful frown, marina shook her head. "i was too nervous to join everyone for dinner."

hange threw their hands up in a mock surrender. "let the record show that zoë hange never doubted marina braun for a second."

"that's good to know, i appreciate your support." marina said in a rush as she began to head for the stairs again. "it was nice talking to you, section commander, but i-"

"when you go up there for whatever it is you're doing, wake up eren and tell him i need to see him outside in fifteen minutes." hange ordered, shifting their weight to get off the wall.

"yes, of course, hange sir, but if you don't mind me asking, what do you need him for-"

hange laughed to themself at marina's flustered demeanor around her superiors. they pushed their glasses up the bridge of their nose. "don't question, braun. just do."

"yes, sir!" marina saluted with her right hand in a fist over her heart before dashing up the stairs. the section commander made marina more nervous than even captain levi did. she just couldn't pinpoint why.

she sighed in relief as she finally relaxed before eren's bedroom door. as she knocked, she tore another piece from her bread and started chewing again. no one answered, so she gently opened the door, giving him a heads up by calling, "i'm coming in."

the room appeared to be empty upon first glance. the window was opened a crack and the curtain billowed gently. marina knew levi would ignite a fuse in this space. all the surfaces were dusty. she cringed and stepped inside.

to her right, her gaze found eren's. he was stood, shirtless, by his dresser. he had clothes in his hands, as if he were about to get dressed, but showed no sign of embarrassment at marina seeing him half-naked.

the girl's jaw dropped after she swallowed her piece of bread, her face being slowly consumed by a scarlet shade of red. she snapped her jaw shut when his unfazed expression turned smug. "don't get any ideas, hotshot." she grumbled.

"i don't know," he teased, pulling his shirt over his head. "that little kiss on the cheek from last night's giving me some."

marina clicked her tongue as she crossed over to him and shoved her second piece of bread into his chest. he took it. before she could walk away, he took her hand and pulled her back to him. eren pulled her face to his with his hand on the back of her head and planted a quick kiss into her hair.

as she backed away, he smiled and held up his piece of bread with a wink. "thanks for thinking of me."

marina cleared her throat, her entire face now coated in the deep scarlet from earlier while he bit into the bread. "hange wants to see you in fifteen minutes."

"tell them i'll be down in ten, please." eren requested as he started to adjust his belt.

she swallowed thickly and took that as her cue to leave. "yup."

"thank you, marina." he called, his back to her while she grabbed the door. marina hated how nonchalant he acted, even though he was the vulnerable one between the two of them. he was the one who admitted love for marina, not the other way around. so how did he manage to fluster her so easily? how did he still have the power?

"anytime." marina managed to say with a broken voice before she shut the door.

◎◎◎◎◎

marina huffed as eren crawled out from his half-solidified titan. from her spot in the trees lined above eren, hange, and levi, she could see three titan carcasses. two were successfully hardened, and his most recent attempt was halfway there.

they were overworking him. he was getting tired. the evidence was clear to all, but apparently not as clear to the section commander. but was marina going to stand up to hange? no.

so, she took a seat on the thick branch she was stationed on. she, mikasa, and connie were assigned to stand guard on eren's experiments. as much as marina would like to believe they were assigned to protect eren, she knew they were there as backup for hange and levi in case things went south.

"alright!" hange clapped their hands together. levi only observed as eren tripped over his titan's shoulder and stumbled to the grass. "let's try another one!"

mikasa, connie, and marina exchanged a glance. they didn't even need to say anything for marina to know they were on the same page.

eren could only summon enough energy to nod at hange. it pained marina to know he was too proud and determined to tell hange he was worn out and needed to stop for the day. he carried himself a few yards away from the previous titan and took a few breaths.

then, there was a crack of yellowish-green lightning as muscles and bones started to wrap around eren's body. marina waited for the skin to form, but it never did. and, the bottom half of the titan never showed. the transforming sequence stopped, leaving only a titan of bone and muscle's top half.

marina visibly winced at the sight of eren breaking out of his titan's nape and tumbling to the ground. she, mikasa, and connie readied to swoop in. "aw, eren!" hange exclaimed. "what happened? we haven't had a fluke like this in a while."

"i don't know," he answered, his voice raspy and throat dry.

connie latched onto another tree with his odm gear and muttered, "i'm going to get him some water," before zooming away.

"this is just embarrassing to look at," hange shook their head and turned to levi. "is he okay?"

and that's when mikasa and marina snapped.

they leapt down from the trees to eren, kneeling at his side. "no, clearly he's not!" marina said in a snippy tone to the section commander.

their eyebrow quirked up in a taunting manner. "braun, what's come over you?"

marina felt a rush of adrenaline wash through her. she felt strange talking back to the superior she seemed to fear the most. "what's come over me is that i'm fed up with watching you overuse eren's ability!" she retorted, keeping a hand on eren's shoulder.

"don't you think he'd tell me if he were tired?"

"no! he wouldn't!"

mikasa joined in to help. "section commander, he's not going to tell you he's worn out. he doesn't want to disappoint anyone."

"woah, who ever said i was tired?" eren tried to say. it came out weakly. "i can still go."

he tried to stand, but fell back to his knees. "see?!" marina slung his arm over her shoulder and mikasa did the same. they stood up, taking him with them as they rose.

levi put a hand on hange's shoulder. "i would back you here. normally, i wouldn't care if he died, but if he does, we can't block up shiganshina's wall."

hange pat levi's face and turned back to the scouts. the captain's face darkened after being touched. "alright, take him back. dinner in two hours, hear?"

"yes, sir." mikasa and marina nodded and helped eren walk back to the cottage where connie would be waiting with some water.

◎◎◎◎◎

eren huffed as he walked into the noisy dining room. he carried in a steaming bowl of green vegetables, setting it down on the table as he passed by to his seat. marina smiled at him as he sat, and even in his mood, eren found it easily within himself to smile back.

"and then jean literally had a bloody nose before he could apologize," connie laughed, passing himself a helping of vegetables.

sasha shrugged from her seat beside him, pointing her fork at jean across from her. "if you're wondering what happens when you try to sabotage my one job of the day, ask jean's nose."

marina chuckled to herself, looking down at her plate.

"section commander, how're eren's experiments going?" historia asked politely as she cut into her potato. erwin perked up at the question, having been gone all day. he, too, was curious.

mikasa and marina tensed at the memory of their actions earlier today. marina prayed that hange wouldn't bring up their insubordinate behavior.

hange nodded curtly. "very, very well. eren has made remarkable progress."

the commander nodded from beside hange, swallowing his food. "that's good to hear. how do you feel about it, jaeger?"

eren suddenly looked up from his plate. he glanced over at marina as if he needed support. she tipped her head slightly with a tranquil smile. he turned to look at the commander again. "i think i still need some work and an occasional break, but it's coming along."

"a break being necessary is to be expected," erwin agreed. "it's not easy work. none of us will ever understand the toll it might take on you."

marina felt goosebumps pop up on the skin covering the back of her neck. she reached up and rubbed it in confusion. eren looked at her with concern as the others continued to talk. she only made an expression that conveyed, i'm fine.

"so, hange, what's your estimate for how long we need before retaking shiganshina?" erwin asked.

they shrugged in response and stabbed their fork into the food on their plate. "hell if i know. pretty soon, i'd say."

"we'll finally get to see the basement," armin said in a trance-like state of thought.

"i'm just excited to see home again," mikasa smiled in remorse to herself.

"mikasa, remember the time we tried to break into my basement in secret and i pulled the handle so hard that i accidentally let go and hit my head on the door?" eren recalled, a ghost of a reminiscent smile painting his lips.

"it was more of me trying to stop you than a two person job." she corrected him.

armin laughed. "i remember you both coming to find me afterwards to help stop his head's bleeding before mr. jaeger returned from the inner wall. eren was crying and said something like..."

marina zoned out. she felt nostalgic. she wasn't sure why. she was living in this moment right now, but she felt as if she'd already lived it. almost like she was looking back into the 'good old days'.

she was grounded back to the present when she felt a hand slip into hers under the table. she looked to her left. eren didn't look back, but rubbed circles into her knuckles with his thumb.

biting her lip, marina tightened her grip on his hand and shoved another bite of potato into her mouth.