goose-speaks

[goose-speaks]

HAPPY WET CAT WEDNESDAY

IT'S WET CAT WEDNESDAY EVERYONE !!!!!!!

[goose-speaks]

Grian and Gem changing their skins after everything they did to Pearl and after basically sending her to her death is like black widow murdresses changing into them sexy black evening gowns going "ohhh what a tragedy" when a detective shows up at their door except that PEARL DIDNT DESERVE IT 😭😭😭😭😭

[goose-speaks]

evil and intimidating horse compilation from past life ep 5

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anything for you, till death

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In Pearl’s dreams, sometimes she says this to Gem:

“Sometimes I think you’d like me better if I actually were an attack dog.”

The actual answer she gets back differently depending on the dream, and the day, and what kind of things that Pearl had last done. Sometimes Gem tells her:

“Aww, Pearlie, don’t be like that. You’re more useful than a dog would ever be.”

Sometimes Gem tells her:

“You can be a dog now, if you’d like.”

Sometimes Gem tells her:

“You’re more important than that, really.”

Sometimes Gem tells her:

“You wouldn’t be nearly as scary if you were! Isn’t what makes you scary that you’re human, but not?”

Sometimes Gem tells her:

“I do too.”

None of these are what Pearl wants to hear, of course. Even in Pearl’s subconscious, Gem is never going to give her an answer that works. Gem is never going to give her an answer that’s real. Pearl isn’t that prone to self-delusion. Gem is never going to, in these dream conversations, hold her and tell her “that’s not true” and mean it. That’s why she’s never said it.

Well, that, and that Pearl isn’t sure that’s what she wants either. She’s not sure that’s an answer that would get at the hunger. At the thing she needs. That would get at something that’s burned her, and burned her, and burned her, and burned—

Well, that and she’s dead now. So. You know.

Even if she wanted an answer, she isn’t getting one.

So that’s that.

[goose-speaks]

etho better put his money where his mask is and team with pearl next season

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tfw you believed so hard in a version of your teammate that never really existed, that you still can’t quite place why she never lived up to your expectations

Transcript:

Grian: I’m a bit lost now-

Gem: Hopefully that takes some pressure-

Grian: We had- I had so much- like, I- l

(Grian sighs)

Gem (sadly): I know. I had a lot of confidence in her

Grian: Yeah. Maybe too much. We should have- Did we do this wrong? Should we have protected her?

Gem: But we’re not allowed to actually strike them, so

Grian: Yeah, I know. I really thought she was- I thought she was going invis to hit Jimmy off of it

Gem: Yeah, clearly she engaged in pvp without her armour on or something

Grian: Yeah. Did she get one hit by an arrow perhaps, or…

(Cut)

Gem: I’m sad

Grian: I’m sad

[goose-speaks]

role reversal?

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Can we cry that Pearl told her team that she doesn't want to go home anymore, even ran away from them. I dunno if it's just me, but she sounded so frustrated this episode. Even when she was Scarlet Pearling, it sounded more out of frustration with herself than needing blood.

scarlet pearl is a defense mechanism. it is an outlet for her frustrations of which there are so so many. she pushes it all down and goes red and has it in her head that this is the way she finally gets catharsis, this is the way she gets back at them. it doesn't work. it never works. this has never once made her feel better. she tries so hard to be the thing people expect her to be, crazy unpredictable scarlet pearl killer, and really all she is is scared and panicked and miserable.

[goose-speaks]

they pushed her to be the scarlet pearl and then she died and died and died. the best of us killed by the worst of us. yeah.

[goose-speaks]

"Easier" by the Crane Wives is such a PL!Pearl song

In "Easier", the singer laments that everything feels much harder than it should be; they feel trapped, not only by their situation, but by who they are as a person. They wonder, repeatedly, whether things would be easier if they were somewhere or someone else.

This feels especially on-brand for Pearl this season. This season, we saw C!Pearl be more or less kicked around by her team. While some may believe that the whole Villies-are-toxic sentiment was "invented" by Tumblr-goers, or by Etho himself, something about their dynamic is undeniably amiss. C!Gem and C!Grian are constantly suspicious of Pearl's intentions to the point that they effectively isolate her from the rest of the server. Pearl being friendly or even ambivalent towards other players is viewed with alarm, despite the fact that Gem and Grian form alliances without waiting for Pearl's approval (cough cough BigB).

Despite this isolation, Pearl is not super close with her fellow Villies, either, due to Grian's constant critiquing of her decisions and motivations. Pearl doesn't immediately jump on board with their plans without question? She's not villainous enough. Pearl jokes about stealing Etho's horse (something she didn't even do)? She's gone too far! The Villies aren't monsters, after all...

Pearl seems caught in a constant tug-of-war within the Villies for this reason. And so, one has to wonder (and I wonder if C!Pearl also wondered): would things be easier if she were someplace else? If she were with another alliance? If she didn't have to fear her teammates' judgement when she inevitably doesn't live up to their standards?

Let's talk about these standards, since there's also a lot to be said about Pearl's reputation and how it shapes her experience in Past Life. Ever since Double Life, Pearl has gained a reputation among the other lifers as a highly competent player who is only a moment away from becoming a bloodthirsty menace. The reputation of the so-called "Scarlet Pearl" not only misses the mark, but attempts to mold C!Pearl into something that she's not.

Pearl's actions in Double Life were not born of a genuine bloodlust, or of rage or vengeance --- at least, not entirely. For much of that series, Pearl's motivations and actions were constantly questioned and demonized --- much like they were in Past Life --- despite the fact that Pearl was, at her core, deeply sad and lonely, and horribly misunderstood. She craved connection, but was repeatedly rejected. And so when she finally leaned into the persona as a way to protect herself --- and, in doing so, lived up to the characterization that had been thrust upon her --- the other lifers missed the pain and the humanity that underlied that persona in the first place.

So when we apply this again to Past Life, we can see that C!Gem and C!Grian value Pearl for her purported power and competency above all else. They are desperate for a rebirth of the "Scarlet Pearl" --- of a weapon, a force of nature, that can be wielded against their enemies at will. They are elated when Pearl gets afflicted with the Boogey curse, thrilled to be able to "do a murder" (despite the fact that they'd already had several kills under their belts by that point, due to both the Square Hole and the Secret Society). Then, when Pearl turns red, after dying four times in a single episode, her teammates are again excited. Here's the Scarlet Pearl, finally at their disposal!

They're so blinded by their own bloodlust --- constantly telling Pearl to attack others, trying to sic her on other players like a dog --- that they neglect to consider Pearl's state of mind. Pearl died four times in a single episode, by that point. She was so deeply ashamed after dying to two separate pit traps that she didn't want to come home. She seemed desperate, cagey, off her game, and yet --- her teammates had so much confidence in the idea of the "Scarlet Pearl" that they didn't think to protect her.

And so they send Pearl to her death. They send Pearl, alone, invisible, without armor, to try to kill Jimmy, and she dies for it.

It was only after Pearl's death --- after the loss of their "cannon", as Grian puts it --- that Gem and Grian wonder whether they should have protected her. By this point, however, it's much too late. Pearl is dead --- doomed by her own misleading reputation, and by her teammates' blind confidence in that reputation.

So again, we are left to wonder: would this season have gone differently if Pearl were someone else? Someone without the baggage of Double Life, and without the reputation as a force to be reckoned with, a dog to be sicced on one's enemies?

If Pearl were viewed as a full person instead of worshipped like an idol, would things have been easier?