gracialla

[gracialla]

You see her standing at the opposite side of street and she is about to cross as the red light starts to flash. You look at her intently and you notice how she looks better than the last time you saw her. She has her black leather bag in her shoulder with her corporate attire and semi high heels shoes. You smile at the thought that she managed to succeed, that the girl who once doubted herself is making herself proud now. You remember how this girl once treated you as her world. You start to wonder who has been with her during the times you've turned your back at her. You feel sudden clutch in your heart as the thought of someone is with her now, treating her right unlike what you did to her, someone who is making her the happiest, or maybe you still have your hopes high and think that you're still the man she thinks of living her life with.

Then she looks at you too, trying to figure out the feautures of your familiar face and she smiled at you too and bid a little wave. You don't know if that's for greeting you hello or for bidding goodbye or it could be both because there isn't much time for talking. She has grown up, that's all you ever tell yourself as she past by you.

She's not the same girl who begged you to come back when you decided to leave her. She looks different now, her eyes finally shines, it isn't as cold as ice anymore. Her hair fits perfectly in her face, she's prettier than before, she's better —she finally moved on. You wonder who's doing the job you refused to do. Years ago, she told you how much she loved you and she even apologized for not being good enough for you.

And right now, all you could ever do is to regret and blame yourself for letting her go.

—🥀j.a

[gracialla]

😞

“It is no surprise to me that hardly anyone tells the truth about how they feel. The smart ones keep themselves to themselves for good reason. Why would you want to tell anyone anything that’s dear to you? Even when you like them and want nothing more than to be closer than close to them? It’s so painful to be next to someone you feel strongly about and know you can’t say the things you want to.”

— Henry Rollins

[gracialla]

"She's the kind of lady who will cuddle you in the morning that'll make you feel loved everyday; a keeper. YOU MUST keep her"

-Gracialla

Appreciation quote for trshnnSmbly💌 I love you!

[gracialla]

“When people don’t express themselves, they die one piece at a time.”

— Laurie Halse Anderson

[gracialla]

I LOVE THIS 💌

If he doesn't

If he doesn’t give you the love

You always deserve to have

Choose the path, not to stay

And walk away

If he doesn’t make you cry

I assure you, he’s giving it a try

Doing his best not to hurt you

It’s inevitable, not just for a few

If he doesn’t treat you right

Doesn’t make your world shine bright

Best decision is to leave

Have everything that someone can’t give

If he doesn’t make you feel

Like everything seems so real

Break free

And make yourself a priority

[gracialla]

Rubatosis

23 Emotions people feel, but can’t explain

Sonder: The realization that each passerby has a life as vivid and complex as your own.

Opia: The ambiguous intensity of Looking someone in the eye, which can feel simultaneously invasive and vulnerable.

Monachopsis: The subtle but persistent feeling of being out of place.

Énouement: The bittersweetness of having arrived in the future, seeing how things turn out, but not being able to tell your past self.

Vellichor: The strange wistfulness of used bookshops.

Rubatosis: The unsettling awareness of your own heartbeat.

Kenopsia: The eerie, forlorn atmosphere of a place that is usually bustling with people but is now abandoned and quiet.

Mauerbauertraurigkeit: The inexplicable urge to push people away, even close friends who you really like.

Jouska: A hypothetical conversation that you compulsively play out in your head.

Chrysalism: The amniotic tranquility of being indoors during a thunderstorm.

Vemödalen: The frustration of photographic something amazing when thousands of identical photos already exist.

Anecdoche: A conversation in which everyone is talking, but nobody is listening

Ellipsism: A sadness that you’ll never be able to know how history will turn out.

Kuebiko: A state of exhaustion inspired by acts of senseless violence.

Lachesism: The desire to be struck by disaster – to survive a plane crash, or to lose everything in a fire.

Exulansis: The tendency to give up trying to talk about an experience because people are unable to relate to it.

Adronitis: Frustration with how long it takes to get to know someone.

Rückkehrunruhe: The feeling of returning home after an immersive trip only to find it fading rapidly from your awareness.

Nodus Tollens: The realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore.

Onism: The frustration of being stuck in just one body, that inhabits only one place at a time.

Liberosis: The desire to care less about things.

Altschmerz: Weariness with the same old issues that you’ve always had – the same boring flaws and anxieties that you’ve been gnawing on for years.

Occhiolism: The awareness of the smallness of your perspective.

[gracialla]

When she's in the radius with him, she always get nervous out of excitement. She tends to be happy even though there's a sad topic to talk about. She can't control herself because of luck, that the guy seems to doesn't have any idea why she felt like that. Her cheeks becomes hot when they talk from eye to eye. She can't help it but to keep every trace of her feelings inside. Being afraid not to make him uncomfortable. But she don't want to fall from nothing at all. She keeps his heart beating for him but stops her mind from overthinking. He is her inspiration everyday. But she will be fine no matter how this ends...

I want to write a love poem about you.

[gracialla]

if your absence doesn’t affect them, your presence never mattered

[gracialla]

I used to like this person. He is such a good heart. He do things unusual of some other guys out there. He is sweet, funny because of his huge sense of humor. He is gentle, kind and respectful. He is Mr. Neat. He doesn't want somebody else ruin his decision. He doesn't care what other people says. I like him the way he is. I like him ever since our very first formal meet up.

I started to feel uneasy when he's around.

I always go wherever he goes and whenever he wants. I can call myself the "Marupok Queen 2019". I didn't see it coming that one day, in a snap, I'll realize that I'm up for someone who doesn't see me. I know what he's been going through, I understand.

I know what he likes, who he likes...

All I wanna do is to be felt appreciated by him. For him to know that if the girl he really like turned him down, there is someone who is willing to be his microphone and hear all his tought. I am always open to his stories.

Everytime, mixed emotions.

But I'm only human, I can't let myself break down again. I don't wanna feel the hopelessness of the thought that he can't see me.

I'm not his type.

I know it's been just a while since we knew each other. There's a lot more to discover.